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  • 3 months ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about another massage parlor that was busted for giving out HJ's. And then, issue a challenge to the married male listeners out there.

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Transcript
00:00all right in other news listen i love to ejaculate as much as the next guy wow my god
00:13my god but there's a lie right this lady i do not want this lady ejaculating me
00:21speak for yourself i got you yet another lady running a rub and tug facing prostitution and
00:33money laundering charges please say she operated two massage parlors in jonesboro arkansas that gave
00:40sexual massages to clients hong lang kai has been charged with criminal use of property
00:48or laundering criminal records she was previously arrested under suspicion of promoting prostitution
00:54two men reported to police they were touched in an illicit manner while being massaged at healing
01:01massage they began investigating the parlor i guess they don't like healing i guess they don't
01:09uh they busted both guys as they were coming out and basically made them admit that they were jerked
01:16off well if i'm if if i'm there and there's cops there and they're like but they were coming out
01:22they don't know what happened in there right but then they were like you're under arrest if you don't
01:26tell us exactly what happened i'm like i got jerk off you know like i tell them i'm like you know
01:33right away i'm like jelaine maxwell at that point i'm like whoever whatever i need to say
01:38yeah both they probably said that hey listen you tell me what to say you can face charges unless you
01:44cooperate yeah what happened in there i'll cooperate just tell me whatever it is you want me to say
01:49i got jerked off in there the man said he paid for a massage and received sexual services he says he
01:55receives sexual services every time he goes to this massage parlor yeah another man talked to police
02:01as he was leaving healing massage he advised under a recorded interview that he's been to the massage
02:07parlor multiple times and that he pays for a massage but also receives sexual handjobs i would love
02:12it if it was like an undercover cop who just happened to be like walking back and forth like
02:18out front and every time a guy came out he's like hey uh what's going on in there what how do you
02:23and they're just singing like canaries to just some stranger oh you can get jerked off in there
02:28i get jerked off in there every single time i go jerk me right off how old would you say she is
02:33oh it's hard to tell yeah it's i bet she's honestly she probably looks younger than she is
02:40would be my thought so i'm gonna go with 58 probably a good guess i just don't want her touching my
02:48wiener i know you guys are different but oh wait hold on thank you she's 55 55 55 there you go
02:58close yeah not a bad guess yeah i know my jerk off artists i'd be okay with her if she wanted to
03:05clean my house or something sure to touch my genitals it's kind of like cleaning my house
03:11that's a pass i just don't eat it that badly no but i i feel like when you go to these places it's
03:20always her and i guess i have access to a real life lady and a lot of these guys i know but like a lot
03:26of people have access to a real life lady but they're not oiling you up and jerking you like
03:31they're just not i mean i don't know what you'd have to do to someone that you've been with a long
03:35time for you to be that's a crazy request it really is like hey we've been together for 15 years
03:43any chance you can lay me on a table put a bunch of oil on me maybe rub around on me and then finish
03:51me off no here i'm gonna hand over the cash and send you on your way go she's doing it go to her go
03:59ahead i have no qualm you're not falling in love with that go have a good time yeah let me know how
04:07it goes you don't want to oil me up and jerk me up there's no there's no way there's no way i give
04:15like a relationship like a two-year limit after two years no one's oiling anybody up and jerking
04:21them i don't know we've been together two years you're not doing that i don't even think you're
04:26touching it like that it's not even that isn't even the deal it's either it's just doing other
04:32stuff you just go right to the other right to the main event right right to the main event like oh we
04:38doing other things you can do that are much better than that right it is i'll say you would what an
04:44experience that wouldn't fly in your there's no way no way she'd laugh right in my face i've been
04:49going in for hugs lately and i get the cold shower oh yeah yeah yeah i don't know why we want a hug
04:55but that's fine i miss you i want to give you a hug a little kiss what are you doing don't try a boob
05:01grab i would never oh man those are off limits i'll never look at those the same they're not mine
05:07they've never been mine they're never mine no there's no way she's gonna oil me up lay me down
05:13and jerk me there's no way there's no way like zero chance and i mean i get it i'm like
05:17what are you talking about i'll oil up somebody and jerk them right now right they don't count
05:25yeah they don't count definitely not they don't count i feel like if i asked amber to cut my toenails
05:32in public and she said yes that i could that would be an okay request call her no i'm not are you
05:38kidding i'm not calling my wife and ask her if she'd only up i'll ask her if she will i mean we
05:43just have to be realistic about life i'll just don't ask her think that that would happen i just
05:48don't i if i said i really wanted it oh my god and i would never call jesse no she's at home with
05:56the two kids right now getting scott ready for his first day of school i'm like hey hey babe so you
06:01jerk me off like never never is your kids crying she's like do you think right with what my life
06:09is calling my wife about toenails is different than calling her about a hand job oh my god not
06:14just a hand job i mean we're talking about the full thing that's what i'm saying the full experience is
06:19such a mind-blowing yeah maybe the full i just thought it was just uh hd but if you're going like
06:24no like massage experience then no it's like oil you gotta get the oil out i mean i don't even see
06:31anyone busting any oil out before the kids maybe well like that's just like in the early on in the
06:38beginning anything goes in the beginning exactly that's like that's real life wow we're trying
06:44something new something off the wall yeah yeah yeah but eventually it's just are we main eventing or
06:50what like i'm not an event let's just get to the main event i don't want to watch all those fights
06:55that happen all before let me know when the main event's gonna be uh someone said i just asked my
07:00wife if she would lube me up on a table and jerk me off yeah she said i couldn't pay her enough
07:05exactly exactly guess the honeymoon is over i mean i can't listen if they've been with us long enough
07:15they're pretty grossed out by us anyway or at least disgusted with us on some level to be
07:20naked and oily in their presence is not what they want it's not what they want no it's not my pubic
07:32region oil no no that's not what i don't know what i could do to even this the score right like if
07:40she's gonna do that for me what what what can i say for her well i'll say this i mean she doesn't
07:44want that that's for you too you know it's like any guy it's totally different guy and the girl if
07:51your girl after 10 years came up to you and it was like listen can you i want to lay on a table naked
07:57and you pour oil on me and let's go every guy on earth is like let's go all of a sudden they show up
08:04you know they look just like her they have the exact outfit it's time to get rev right that's
08:10not punishment no it's not because i feel like she would do the same enthusiasm for me that like
08:15this hungling kai does yeah yeah like hey welcome to the exact if not worse she might put a little
08:22extra she might make a couple noises why does dave say sexual handjobs is there such a thing as a
08:27non-sexual handjob yeah i think the one she gives are non-sexual that's what i'm saying like a matter of
08:32fact business job it's like she's churning butter it's a job right it's not sexual to her no she
08:39does 50 a day yeah it's tough i mean and imagine the ones she's jerking i mean like her life's no
08:47picnic no of course it's not let's be honest how many smelly dicks does she face a day like all of
08:51them all of them none of these guys are killer i mean every once in a while a guy just has a sexual
08:57problem urge and he is a decent looking guy and he goes in there and and gets it done but that's
09:04i'm assuming few and far between that's the new dave and chuck challenge ask your lady if she'll oil
09:10you up and jerk you off yep and see what she says yeah i don't know i can't do that i'll try it today
09:15i'll try recording it i'll get a recording oh you're just gonna hear dead silence you might hear a laugh
09:21yeah you get a get a lot of laughs probably say what did you ask me oh man go to the grocery store
09:30yeah get their reactions like ask them that and get their reactions okay send them in i believe that
09:35and after a certain number of years you're gonna get laughs like laugh laugh laugh like four years
09:40laugh it has to be after five years probably right or ten this is where where's the line right it's not
09:47even a laugh it's pure anger oh so like it's past i don't know that depends on your relationship
09:53that's what i'm thinking i'm thinking like you've been someone comes to you with that kind of request
09:58you've been together 15 years that could be you could be risking pure anger this guy said my wife
10:04of 15 years gave me two bjs in one day out of nowhere the other day let's see that's different but
10:09he says this my mind was blown but i still would never ask her to oil me up and jerk me right
10:14there you go exactly because it's different yeah i don't know you just um that's why i said there
10:19was other things you could do why would you do that i don't know what she read that day but you
10:24gotta find out you gotta find out whatever she watched whatever she read what's her favorite show
10:29the phrase oil me up and jerk me off like it rolls off your tongue so casually but like the
10:34the request is so detailed it's a lot it's a lot i'm gonna let her read one of those visualize it
10:40she keeps reading and then get jerked yes yeah uh this one uh 40 year old female 50 year old male
10:47no kids married 17 years we do weekly full body massages okay but that's not full body massages
10:54is it right it's still leads to sex not always there's no way to sex so a massage of course that's
11:00can be foreplay but the whole job thing of that the only way it's like what is the point right no
11:07there is no point you know what i mean listen there's no point to it you're gonna rub my calves
11:11i'm gonna rub on my calves for a bit you're gonna get my shins get out of here main event all right
11:18dave and chuck challenge would you oil me up and jerk me out see how it goes let us know let us know
11:24send your responses to email at daveandchuckthefreak.com reason for divorce
11:28yeah be careful guys yeah be careful yikes
11:32you
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