00:00My cousin's wedding was beautiful, until the bride's veil started bleeding.
00:05At first we thought it was part of the design, like maybe she was going for Netflix Dracula vibes,
00:11but then the cake started bleeding too.
00:14Bro, that's not fondant, that's straight up O negative.
00:19The DJ tried to save the mood, played Baby Shark, and the speakers screamed instead.
00:26Even the flower girl dropped her basket, looked me dead in the eye, and said,
00:31Run, uncle! Bro, I'm not even her uncle.
00:34The music stopped. The whole crowd turned their heads in sync, bones cracking like glow sticks.
00:41When the priest said, Speak now or forever hold your peace,
00:45the coffin at the back of the hall stood up and shouted my name.
Comments