- 5 months ago
In this episode of Biscuits & Jam, host Sid Evans sits down with comedian and author Ellen Skrmetti, whose viral “Hey Jesus, It’s Me” videos made her a Southern social media sensation during the pandemic. Ellen talks about her small-town Mississippi roots, her controversial yeast rolls, and what it’s been like returning to stand-up comedy. She also shares stories from her new book, "Hey Jesus, It’s Me: I Have Questions," Comments, and Concerns, and growing up with a true Southern church lady for a mother.
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00:00Ellen Scarmetti, welcome to Biscuits and Jam.
00:02Thank you for having me. This is a treat.
00:05So, Ellen, we're here in Alabama doing this live at our offices,
00:12and you've been in Birmingham for a while now. Talk to me about, like, your hometown and
00:21your connection to Birmingham.
00:23So, we've lived here eight years. I was born and raised in North Mississippi in a little town
00:28called Ripley. And my husband and I lived in Jackson for 13 years after we graduated college.
00:36And we got married in Jackson and then realized that everyone we knew in Jackson lived there
00:42because they were either born there or they had family there. And we were the only people
00:46of our friends that weren't born in Jackson and didn't have family in Jackson. So, we were like,
00:51maybe we should move. So, we first moved to Nashville. We lived in Nashville for a year.
00:56And now I joke that Jackson was too little. Nashville was too big. Birmingham is just right.
01:02It is.
01:03It is. It is just right.
01:05It's kind of like Nashville, you know, 10 years ago or something. It's not too crowded. I mean,
01:10you know, knock wood, knock something.
01:12It's not. And I told my husband, too, it was so hard for us to find a house in Nashville.
01:17But then I was meeting people who said, oh, my gosh, my house has doubled in value or my house has
01:22tripled in value since I moved to Nashville. But they were 10 years ahead. And I said, you know,
01:28Tim, we are 10 years too late to live in Nashville at our income level. So, we need to find a place
01:34where we're either right on time or a little bit early for a housing boom. And Birmingham was just
01:41down the road. And we loved that we could still have great restaurants. We could still have great
01:46schools for our kids. I was closer to my family in North Mississippi. We could be closer to his
01:52family in South Mississippi. So, we've been here for eight years. And we realized about two years
01:57ago, we looked at it and said, wow, we could live anywhere we wanted to. If we wanted to pick up and
02:03move, we could. But we don't want to. We really love being in Birmingham. So, even though my husband
02:08has a remote job and I can do content from any backyard, because that's where I feel most of my
02:16content, we just love it here. So, we're staying. Well, I love having you here. Thank you. And it's
02:21fun to do these, you know, in person. And congrats on the book. Thank you. It's called Hey Jesus, It's
02:28Me. Yes. Just like everything you're posting on Instagram and TikTok. And I love the subtitle,
02:39which is I Have Questions, Comments, and Concerns. Who doesn't have questions, comments, and concerns?
02:45For Jesus. Like, just, is this how you meant it to be? And my goal was just to remind people that you
02:52can laugh and you can have a good time with Jesus and you can have a good time with your faith. You
02:57know, a lot of times we are convicted and it could be a very serious journey, but, you know, you can
03:02laugh and have fun. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not necessarily something you see in church a whole lot.
03:09Um, you know, you don't, I mean, there's, I guess there's ministers that are funny and that'll crack
03:15jokes in their sermons, but it's not, you know, that's not overall the vibe that you see in a lot
03:21of churches. Tell me about your church community and how they've kind of reacted to the book and to
03:27everything you're posting. Well, of course, you're going to have people online who make comments.
03:31I can't believe you would do this. And this is sacrilege and whatever, delete post. It's fine.
03:37Yeah. But truly so much of mine comes from growing up with what I call the true Southern
03:42church lady for a mother. Yeah. And a lot of the comedy comes from listening to my mother and her
03:47girlfriends plan church socials, plan church gatherings and get togethers. And the things you
03:54hear the old, the little old ladies say in the church vestibule in the eighties, that is where so
04:00much of my comedy comes from is all the things that happen before you get into this serious church
04:05service. Yeah. Is what I'm trying to speak to. So there is actually a lot that's really funny
04:13about church. You just got to kind of peel up, peel back the layers a little bit. Yes. I mean,
04:17it was, I say this in my standup show that one day I came home from church and I asked my mother,
04:22what are birth and hips? And I was 10 and she said, how do you know about birth and hips? Well,
04:28I was leaving Sunday school and a group of little old ladies were coming out of, you know,
04:33adult for Sunday school class. And they just stopped and told me now, Ellen, those birth and
04:38hips are going to come in handy one day. So there is a lot of comedy. When you were 10. When I was 10,
04:45when I was 10 and the jokes on them, I have a skinny pelvis. And so they are, you know, I was not able
04:52to tell them that. And then I asked my doctor, I said, are you flirting with me? Cause I'm having
04:58this man's baby and this is not the time, but yes, like the, the, the hour, like that's very serious,
05:04but peeling back everything else. I mean, my, this, one of my mother's friends still talks about
05:10how she was making tea for something and she had let it come to a boil. And she said, Ellen,
05:17your memo came in and saw that that was boiling. She said, you would have thought that I was about
05:22to set the church on fire because I had boiled the tea. And so she just, anytime something comes
05:27up, she was like, well, don't, don't boil the tea around your grandmother. So there's humor.
05:33There's a lot of humor that happens inside the goings on of a church. Yes.
05:38Let's talk a little bit about where you came from and your hometown. I mean, you know,
05:43this is your hometown now, but you grew up in Ripley, Mississippi, which is, um, really not
05:48far from Memphis. I'm from Memphis. Okay. So it's right down the road from Memphis in Northwest
05:53Mississippi. Tell me a little bit about your hometown and you know, what, um, I don't know,
05:59the, the house and the neighborhood where you grew up. So my parents, I'm so lucky. They still live in
06:04the house that I grew up in, which is so great. I almost cried though, the day my mother called and
06:09told me dad and I are getting rid of our landline. I was like, why would you do this to me? Are you
06:17going to want me to pack up my room next? Like, what are you doing? So I'm very lucky that my
06:23children are getting to have Christmas and celebrations in the same room where my brother
06:28and I got to have Christmases and got to have celebrations. But Ripley, I graduated with about 95
06:34kids. Um, I tell everybody that'll listen that William Faulkner's great granddaddy is buried
06:40behind the pizza hut. Um, and that I'm from the, I'm from the true land of Faulkner. Oxford claims
06:46him because that's where he lived and did most of his work, but that's where his family was originally
06:52from. So it was a great small community. I grew up in the first Baptist church, Ripley. And when they
07:00say it takes a village, I, I had my mother, but then I also had my friends, moms and my,
07:05my, my mom's friends that we all just took care of each other. And we were talking before we went
07:11on camera about what it was like when the ladies got together and they put together everyone's
07:16weddings and did all of that. So it was fun, but it was a lot of work watching those women
07:21making cheese straws and making cantaloupe balls. I mean, my mother was a master of fruit displays.
07:29Really? Before there were charcuterie boards. I mean, my mother, I have a picture where she could,
07:34she could do a bride and groom and a watermelon. Wow. Okay. So that's a special talent. Yes. But
07:40then like before it was somebody's wedding, the refrigerator would be full of cubes of cheese
07:46and fruit and all this stuff that you could not touch. But so it was fun. So talk to me about the
07:53church that you went to. What'd you say the name of it was? First Baptist. First Baptist in Ripley.
07:59Yes. This has to be something that you've drawn on a lot for your comedy. I mean, this is what you
08:05grew up with. I mean, kind of set the scene for me. What's it, what does it look and feel like on a
08:09typical Sunday? Okay. A typical Sunday, your, your, your mom wakes you up. You still oversleep.
08:16You go into your pantyhoe drawer and you try to find a pair of pantyhose. It doesn't have a runner
08:21in it. Okay. And then you can't, all of them have a runner. And so then you look for a dress
08:27that's long enough to cover up the runner in your pantyhose. And then you look for clear nail polish
08:33and you can't find any. So all you can find is pink and you put some pink on your runner
08:38and you just pray that no one, that the, that the nail polish holds it. And then you've got to put
08:45on your slip and then you've got to put on your camisole and you've got on your pantyhose and all
08:50of that. And then you put on your dress and you're sweating and you go into church. And first you have
08:54Sunday school, which is so fun because you got, you get about 15 minutes of a lesson and then you're
09:00just hanging out with your friends and you're just talking to your Sunday school teacher.
09:05And then you've got about 15 minutes before big church starts, which was your big sermon. And we
09:12all called it big church. Oh, I also remember when I was a teenager, we finally got a McDonald's when I
09:17was in the fifth grade and Mr. Robert Donovan, who has passed away, owned the McDonald's. And so we
09:24would always have sausage and biscuits, um, before youth Sunday school, which was, I mean, in the
09:32nineties, a McDonald's sausage and biscuit was a delicacy. Oh, yeah. You know, cause you just
09:37didn't special thing. Right. They opened school late that day because it was the first real restaurant
09:44that Ripley had and the band played and the cheerleaders were there and they had late opening
09:51of school. So everyone could go get breakfast. That is so crazy to think about that. Yeah. Yes.
09:57So, and then the poor kids who were like, well, my mom said, we're going to go tonight. And we were
10:00like, Oh, your mom must not love you because she didn't take you to McDonald's for breakfast this
10:04morning when they opened. So then you had your big church. Yeah. And then for us, the youth, we all sat
10:10in the back, but my mother and my dad had their, their pew at the front of the church. And I can still
10:19picture of my mother looking back to me to make sure that I was in position at church and acting
10:26right. And that I hadn't tried to miss big church or go home or hadn't done anything, but she would
10:31always look back and check to make sure that I was there. And I always was because I was scared of
10:39her wrath. If I tried to be sneaky and miss. Who's the funniest person in your family other than you?
10:44My brother has a great dry sense of humor and he also, he loves comedians. So I love sending him
10:52like new comedians that are fun or people that I love, but our whole family's funny. Like we were
10:57just, when I think back of memories of our family, like we're laughing, you know, everyone really
11:03had a, had a sense of humor. So yeah, I grew up with just a ton of laughter in our family.
11:09It's in the gene pool. It's in the, yes, it's absolutely in the gene pool. I'm the only person
11:14that got nerdy about it and went and took comedy classes to try to perfect it. But yeah, we're all
11:19funny. There's such a connection between church and food, especially in the South. And you talk in
11:27the book about how your mom is really an incredible cook. And I think you called her the queen of Southern
11:33cooking or something like that. Yeah. Well, listen, she was the daily journals cook of the
11:38week. Okay. So this is a big, yeah, which is a big deal. Daily journal. For those of you who don't
11:42know, I mean, that is the Tupelo newspaper. Okay. That is, that is a regional paper. That is not.
11:48So tell me about some of her specialties. Like what are some of the things that you grew up with
11:52that, you know, that she was kind of known for?
11:55I can't think of anything that my mother could not make. Okay. One time my mother,
12:01my grandmother put my mother said, Oh, just bring ice and bring cups and bring cups and ice. And my
12:07mother said, I'm bringing something. And she said, well, bring a salad. And I can remember my mother
12:12brought every salad known to man, seven layer salad, jello salad, pretzel salad, just every salad
12:22you could imagine. Just to prove the point, like I will be bringing food to the family functions.
12:31But her really, the place where she really shined was in her baking. She was such a great baker.
12:38I came in one day from school and she had made four coconut cakes and then there were pound cakes.
12:44And I said, mama, what are you doing? Like what's going on? And she said, somebody could be dying right
12:48now. I don't have anything in my freezer. So she was just getting it ready. But what happened? I
12:54talk about Sugary's Bakery in New Albany. That's just up to like 18 miles away from Ripley. I said
13:00to her one day, I said, mom, you don't bake as many layer cakes as you used to. And she said,
13:03Sugary's makes exactly what I would make. Like they make Southern layer cakes. So I don't have to make
13:09those. So now I can make other stuff and I just keep a Sugary's in my freezer. So if I need a layer cake,
13:14I just use theirs. But then she can cook all of her other stuff.
13:19Well, you talk in the book about how she was, she made some really good yeast rolls.
13:24Yes.
13:25And this book, but this kind of became an issue.
13:27It was an issue.
13:27In the family because there's, there's a little bit of competition around the rolls.
13:32Is that right?
13:32She, she took them to my grandmother's, which was her mother-in-law's. And everything was fine,
13:38except my grandfather, who I called Pawpaw. Pawpaw said, Jenny Mae, these are the best rolls you ever made.
13:45So, and they were my mother's. And so that didn't land. That did not land. I mean, that,
13:52I mean, that landed so good. And so finally I said, mother, like, why can't we bring your
13:57yeast rolls? They are so good. And she said, well, remember, you know, he said, these are the best
14:01rolls you've ever made. Well, I was in college and I said, well, you show me how to make them
14:06and they'll be mine. And so she called her and said, you know, Ellen wants to bring the rolls for,
14:11for dinner. Are you okay with that? And she's like, yeah, if you think,
14:14she's ready. So she showed me her recipe and I made them on cue. My grandfather goes,
14:22Jenny Mae, you've done it again. And we had said, we had a plant, no matter what, these are mine.
14:30Nobody, this is my mother who, you know, the Lord's not done with her. The Lord is still working on her.
14:36She's close. She's not ready. Just two seconds. That was my recipe. Because my grandmother was
14:43like, oh, well, that wasn't me. That was Ellen. She was so happy to succeed that these were my
14:48rolls. And then my mom goes, that's my recipe. You never let me bring the rolls. I was like,
14:53mommy, you just messed it up. You just, you couldn't. Somebody should have given your grandfather
14:58maybe a tip that he didn't, that he didn't need to make that comment. Yes. So many times. I mean,
15:03I think that there's a lesson there that we women, we plan, but we forget to let the men in on what's
15:09happening. And so they don't mean to mess us up, but they will. It's worth it. If the rolls are that
15:14good, then, you know, they really are. And I, and I put the recipe in the, in the book, if you can't
15:19do it, do flowers at your church. If you can't follow that recipe and it's okay, not everybody
15:25can follow a recipe card recipe, but my mother would use the dough and roll it out. And that's
15:30how she would do her cinnamon rolls. Thinking about the holidays around your house. This was a big deal.
15:35Big deal. Big crowd. Yes. Especially when I was younger and everybody was alive. Uh-huh. Yeah.
15:42We have less of a crowd now that some people are, you know, so rudely moving on. Yeah.
15:49Yeah. But when I was little, it was always a big crowd. It was a lot of,
15:53and my whole family lived in Ripley or just in Walnut, Mississippi, the next town over.
15:57So it was just a lot of traveling because you had to catch everyone. You know, now you have people
16:03who say, Oh, we're going to go do Thanksgiving with my family and then Christmas with his family.
16:08And then they may flip flop it. But when everybody lives in the same town, you are expected to do,
16:16you know, Christmas Eve at this grandmother's and Christmas Eve with that
16:19grandmother and then do something. It's a full schedule. It's a full schedule. It is full.
16:26And that is how actually my mother started to make the Christmas celebration for her side of the family.
16:33She made it a breakfast for dinner because she realized that between all of the Thanksgivings
16:39and all of the Christmases, everyone was tired of that traditional holiday meal.
16:45Yeah. And, and then that is really what got everyone excited about coming because they were
16:49going to get homemade biscuits and chocolate gravy and sausage gravy and red eye gravy and all the
16:55gravy, all the gravy, all the gravy you could ever imagine. And so that made everybody excited
17:00because they were going to get to see everybody, but get a different meal.
17:03Sounds like a Super Bowl. It was, it was, it was. And my mother, it was almost like the day after
17:10Thanksgiving, like she just never stopped making things. Like there were just things that she had
17:16to have. Like she would make her, she made a fruitcake that everyone loved. Um, I can still remember
17:22I was coming home from college and she said, could you stop by a liquor store and get me some brandy?
17:28Cause she didn't want to go in the liquor store. She didn't want to be seen in the liquor store?
17:33No, no. A good God-fearing Baptist in a liquor, are you crazy? And the town was dry.
17:40But she needed it for that fruitcake or for something.
17:42She needed it. She would need it for something. Yes. And so she was like, listen, just on your
17:45way home, get me some brandy or get me some sherry to cook, just something to cook with.
17:50Okay. And I was like, you don't want to go get it? Shut up. Just get it for me.
17:53Well, there's probably one liquor store in town or the one that everybody went to. So you're going to be seen.
17:58Well, Ripley just became, Ripley was dry until about seven or eight years ago.
18:05Oh, wow. So there was zero alcohol. So you were, if you were seen in Tupelo buying alcohol,
18:13that, that news would beat you home as we say.
18:19So, all right, Ellen, I want to talk a little bit about how you kind of launched your career.
18:24Um, and some of this has to do with people moving on.
18:29Yes.
18:30And it has to do with football season.
18:31Yes.
18:32And about three years ago, um, if I'm not mistaken, uh, Queen Elizabeth was moving on.
18:42And here I am.
18:43Um, and so you'd been, you had been, uh, creating content and you'd been, you know, uh, doing a lot
18:51of stuff on social media, but a lot of things kind of came together in that moment.
18:56Yes.
18:56And you did, uh, a series of posts about if the queen had died in the South.
19:04Yes.
19:05Talk to me about that and what, what brought all that together and, and why do you think
19:09it took off the way it did?
19:12Well, I had been posting for nine months with not a lot of traction, but enough to keep me
19:18going.
19:18And I tell people, if you're doing this, do not stop.
19:22It could be the next one, but if you stop, you'll never know which one it is.
19:25My husband and I were going to, um, the little London in Homewood that has now closed.
19:33I don't know if you remember, they had a double decker bus and one of them was from London and
19:37they created like a traditional pub.
19:39People were going there to watch Arsenal games because my husband loves Arsenal and that was
19:43helping us survive until SEC football could get started.
19:47And my husband said, Hey, there's no, there's, there are no soccer matches this weekend.
19:52And I said, why?
19:53And he said, well, because the queen died.
19:55So out of respect, they're not playing any games this week or this weekend.
20:00And I said, well, good Lord, if she had died in Ripley, she would already be in the ground
20:06and we would just be carrying on about our days.
20:08And he said, not everybody does it like y'all because he is amazed at how fast we get it
20:15done.
20:16And so I just, on my way to work, I did a very quick, if the queen died in the South and
20:21just recreated the phone calls I've heard my mother make throughout my childhood, which
20:28is she's not doing good.
20:30She could, if she goes today, we can get it done tomorrow, but we've got this going on.
20:37Like, what, how do we, how are we going to work this out?
20:39Cause we can't, this is happening.
20:41And people said, you're so rude.
20:43You wouldn't say that if it was your brother.
20:45This isn't my brother.
20:46I've never met the queen.
20:47So I don't know that she's offended by me.
20:50And, you know, if you're, you know, a hundred and passing away, we're going to talk about
20:57plans.
20:58Is she going to make it?
20:58Yeah.
20:59Um, and our freezers are ready.
21:03And, and I love that some of the comments, some people would say, I always wondered how
21:07y'all did it so fast.
21:09Y'all just have food in your freezer.
21:10I said, we've got food in the freezer.
21:12Their dress is in the back of the closet, ready to go.
21:15And a McRae's bag.
21:16Probably.
21:17Do you remember McRae's department store?
21:19We had a McRae's in, in Mississippi.
21:22And so her funeral dress has already been picked out.
21:25She's probably already written her obituary.
21:27She's already gone to the funeral home and picked out all of her music.
21:31So you just have to like press a button and get the funeral ready.
21:36And my mother has even told me, your daddy and I have already planned our funerals.
21:40So you'll just let them know when we've passed and we have it all planned and paid for.
21:46So just all you two have to do is show up and smile and greet everyone.
21:54And there are a lot of people that might think that that's kind of morbid, but really in the
21:59South, I mean, it is, you know, it's, it's unavoidable, you know, it's going to happen.
22:04It's going to happen.
22:05So why not make sure that it happens the way you want it to happen?
22:10I can remember at my grandmother's funeral, she had the most beautiful setup.
22:16Like she had a beautiful spray and then she had two flowers, two pillars that coordinated
22:21on either side.
22:22And during the funeral, my mother leaned over and went, you see that?
22:26I want that.
22:28That's what I want at my funeral.
22:29But then also put one of my quilts over my casket too.
22:33I want one of my quilts.
22:34Okay.
22:35I'll point it out when we get to the house, which quilt I want.
22:38And you're expected to be taking notes.
22:40Yes.
22:41Yes.
22:41And so I know that we will have two arrangements flanking the casket, one of her handmade quilts
22:49and then a beautiful arrangement that matches the two.
22:51And then all of the other arrangements will just be on the side of the church.
22:58Okay.
22:58Yeah.
22:58I'm aware.
22:59There's a plan.
23:00I know my job.
23:01You know, there's a great book that came out, I don't know, at least, I don't know, 10,
23:0715 years ago.
23:07Being Dead is No Excuse.
23:08Being Dead is No Excuse.
23:10Yes.
23:10Which is written by two women from Mississippi.
23:13Yes.
23:13Gayden Metcalf and Charlotte Hayes.
23:17And yeah, they did a great job.
23:20Perfect.
23:20Yeah.
23:21They knew exactly what you're talking about.
23:24I was so fortunate that when I had my stint, I worked at the Everyday Gourmet in Jackson,
23:29Mississippi, which every lady who, if you don't know which direction your career could
23:34go, should go, if you were in the 90s, you should go work at the Everyday Gourmet and you'll
23:39just meet some of the most wonderful people in Jackson.
23:41They came and did a cooking demonstration.
23:44And my publisher and my book agent said like, Ellen, this funeral stuff is so great.
23:52Would you want to do a funeral book?
23:53And I said, funeral book has been done.
23:55Yeah.
23:55It is the funeral book has been done.
23:58I said, the funniest and best funeral book in the world has been done.
24:03The guidebook is there.
24:04I will not, I will not be competing it, competing with it.
24:08But I do tell, I will talk about my funeral experiences because like my, when my mother-in-law
24:14passed away, my husband's Catholic and in South Mississippi and my mother was on the way and
24:21she filled up the cooler with food to bring for the, for the funeral.
24:26And I called her and I said, mother, slow your horses.
24:29It's not for another 10 days.
24:32And she was like, what are you talking about?
24:36And I said, he wants to wait.
24:38He comes from a different part of Mississippi and they do it differently.
24:41They do it differently.
24:42And then also for the Catholic church, you have your funeral in the Catholic church.
24:48Well, the church, if they have something going on, it's like, well, we, we can plan your funeral
24:54on this day.
24:55They're not just, they're not just ready to just open up the church for a funeral at
24:59any, at any moment.
25:00She happened to have a friend whose daughter was getting married in Tuscaloosa and they
25:05were best friends.
25:05And she said, please, I've got to get her married and please don't do this until I can
25:09get back.
25:09So we had about 11 or so days in between.
25:14And then my sweet mother called me and said, um, this is the best.
25:20Alan, do I need to get your daddy one of those beanies?
25:24And I said, what are you talking about?
25:25She said, well, he's Catholic.
25:26Don't they wear those beanies?
25:27I said, mama, that's called a yarmulke.
25:30And that is, that is the Jewish faith.
25:33That is, it's not here.
25:35But I love that my parents were like, whatever it is, we're going to do it.
25:38We're, we'll do it.
25:39We're doing it.
25:40We're doing it.
25:40And so my husband still is like, I can't, I wish you just would have said yes.
25:44Like why?
25:45I wish you would have said, yes, mom, I'll have him one.
25:48I'll meet you in the parking lot and have my dad.
25:52He was like, if your dad would have walked in that church in a yarmulke, that would have
25:56healed me, Ellen.
25:57That would have.
25:59And every time I thought about my mother passing, I would then get this visualization of
26:02my father-in-law.
26:03He would have healed me instantly.
26:06And I said, I'm so sorry.
26:07I should have, uh, well, I love all this funeral talk.
26:10There was missing funeral humor and here I am.
26:13Send me Lord.
26:13I'm here.
26:14You've got a whole chapter in the book, uh, about it.
26:17And, uh, there's a lot more where that came from, but, um, I love it.
26:21It's, it's important to be able to joke about it.
26:23And because, you know, nothing's harder.
26:25It is the hardest, it is, it is the hardest time in a person's life, but it is proof positive
26:30that with time, all things, you can find humor in all things with humor.
26:37And again, it is something we're not talking about funerals where someone has passed unexpectedly
26:44or someone has passed before what, what we perceive to be before their time.
26:47We're talking about when someone who has passed, who has lived a very full life, who you're
26:53happy to see that, you know, they have completed, they've completed this purpose, their purpose
26:58on the earth.
26:59And we're just, we're thankful that we got to, you know, experience life with them.
27:04And also there's a hope that we're going to see them again.
27:08So that, those are the funerals that we're laughing, that we are laughing and joking about
27:12because I asked at my great aunt's funeral, I said, why is there, why are y'all laughing?
27:18Why are y'all having a good time?
27:19You know, my aunt Eudora has died and they're like, we don't ever see these people, Ellen.
27:24And we want to have a good time.
27:26And she would want us.
27:28And it's a celebration of her.
27:29It's a celebration of her and we never get to see each other anymore.
27:32So we're going to have a good time and send her off.
27:35So that's right.
27:36That was, that was a good reminder.
27:38And that let me know what I could do if the queen died in the South.
27:40Yeah.
27:43All right, Ellen, we're going to do a little something that, that we call the jam session.
27:48Okay.
27:49Biscuits or cornbread?
27:50Biscuits.
27:51Bulldogs or rebels?
27:52Bulldogs.
27:52But I do love y'all's tailgates and your brush.
27:56Sweet or unsweet?
27:58Sweet.
27:59Yeah.
28:00Boiled peanuts, yay or nay?
28:02Not for me, but y'all are welcome to them.
28:05Okay.
28:06Y'all are.
28:08The perfect summer sandwich is blank.
28:12Fresh bread, mayonnaise, perfectly like Wright's bacon and a tomato, salt and pepper.
28:21That's it.
28:22That's it.
28:23The best barbecue joint in Birmingham is blank.
28:27Oh, in Birmingham.
28:28Or it could be back home.
28:30Could be in Mississippi too.
28:31Look, my favorite, the, the best barbecue in the world is sweet Mr. John Dickerson, who
28:36has passed away, who would call his, his mother, his wife and my mother were best friends, Miss
28:42Wanda.
28:42And Wanda would call mom and go, John's smoking stuff.
28:46Do you want some?
28:47And it would be wrapped in the, you know, it'd be wrapped in the Southern Sentinel.
28:51And so that is by far the best barbecue out there.
28:58And the second best would be Westside Barbecue in New Albany, Mississippi.
29:03Yeah.
29:04Yes.
29:04Westside Barbecue.
29:05Westside Barbecue.
29:06They also do layer cakes.
29:07I mean, New Albany is just layer cake per capita rich.
29:15Because you have sugaries on downtown, but then you also have Westside Barbecue.
29:20They do a banana cake.
29:21Do you see how I'm getting lower?
29:23Like I'm like lowering my voice.
29:24Like I'm telling y'all something y'all need to know.
29:26Honey, they do a banana cake.
29:28I don't know what they do, but it's a cream cheese icing with a little bit of pecan.
29:34It is so moist.
29:35And I know people don't like that word, but I'm like, what, what else am I supposed to say?
29:39Like that is a descriptive word in the dictionary.
29:43I'm going to have a friend who's like, oh, don't say moist.
29:45Don't say, and I'm like.
29:46How else are you going to describe a banana cake?
29:49Yeah.
29:49It has no, it doesn't have a dry crumb.
29:52Like what am I supposed to say?
29:53Like it is.
29:54Anyway, it's, it's heaven.
29:55So they also have amazing layer cakes at Westside Barbecue.
29:59Okay.
30:00A little detour there.
30:01A little sorry.
30:02But worthwhile.
30:02You knew it was going to happen.
30:03You knew it was going to happen.
30:04Worthwhile.
30:04All right.
30:04The best fast food fried chicken in the South is where?
30:09Kroger.
30:09Oh, I love it.
30:11Kroger.
30:12Okay.
30:12Or a gas station.
30:13Yeah.
30:14Kroger or a gas station, not a chain.
30:18If it's like crunchy crispy chicken with like the K's, uh-uh, that's corporate chicken.
30:23You need, if you can go to a gas station that's owned by a family and they put the grandma to work,
30:28get their chicken, get their chicken.
30:31Also, the pig.
30:33Yeah.
30:34The pig.
30:35They don't do Sundays anymore, though.
30:37That is, that hurts me.
30:38You can only get it at lunch.
30:40Well, and I would put in a bid for Publix, but that's, this is questions for you.
30:44Okay.
30:44I get that families can be destroyed over Publix chicken.
30:49Okay.
30:49Families are being torn together, but I didn't say what I didn't say.
30:53Okay.
30:54Okay.
30:54My favorite comedian right now is blank.
30:58Can I name like five?
30:59Yeah, sure.
31:00Okay.
31:00Leanne Morgan, because I love her.
31:03And she is showing that Southern women are funny and our stories are funny to tell because we're both just telling our things, you know?
31:11And so I love her and I just want her to go as high, as high as she can go and then just keep pulling the rest of us up.
31:20I love her.
31:21Zarna Garg, who is an Indian comedian.
31:24I absolutely love her.
31:25She was a mother of three and started doing comedy on a subway.
31:31And she is just, she's blowing up.
31:34Nate Bargatze, he was required when I took classes at Second City, he was required viewing for classes just to see how tight his stuff was.
31:43And then as I was watching his, one of his specials on Netflix, I realized he was from Middle Tennessee.
31:48His cousin was my daughter's kindergarten teacher when we lived in Tennessee.
31:54So he doesn't know me yet, but he doesn't know that when he meets me,
31:59we are going to rake up Ken.
32:01Like we're, you're basically family.
32:03We're basically family.
32:04So those are my, so those, those are my favorites.
32:07And then also I love like a Bill Burr because he's so grouchy and I love a grouchy comedian.
32:13That's a great list.
32:14Yes.
32:15All right.
32:15My favorite Southern dessert is blank.
32:17Banana pudding made with a custard base.
32:20Last one.
32:20The most Southern thing about me is blank.
32:23I use hot rollers.
32:24I use hot, I, hot rollers.
32:26I use hot.
32:29Oh, that's great.
32:30My hot rollers.
32:31Yes.
32:31That's perfect.
32:32I want to ask you about, you know, you, you've got this book out now.
32:36Um, and you're going to, you're continuing to do all of the stuff that you're, the videos
32:43you're doing on Instagram, but you're also doing, you're going out and going on the road
32:47and you're talking to crowds and you're doing standup gigs.
32:51And I'm curious, what are some of the things that you hear from people when you get the chance
32:57to interact with them?
32:58Cause you know, a lot of times you're behind your phone and you're doing it at home and
33:01you're doing it in the backyard.
33:02But when you're out on the road and you're meeting people, um, what are they, what are
33:07they saying to you?
33:08Meeting people on the road is the best because you don't, all you get are likes and you say
33:13that, but you don't actually hear laughter.
33:15So you don't really know how something has resonated with someone.
33:19And I love to get to meet them on the road.
33:21And I've heard everything from, we're the same, you know, we, you could be in my family.
33:28We're best friends.
33:28You don't know it yet, which I love.
33:30But the other thing is, you know, I've had people come and say, I was going to be such
33:34a hard time, but I would, you made me laugh and you helped me get through it.
33:37So that's truly laughter is medicine.
33:40And so that is why I keep doing it.
33:43And I love just to hear people say, maybe it's a reel that didn't get a lot of views
33:51and didn't do very well, but they'll say, Oh, I love that stuff.
33:54And I'm like, you did.
33:56Cause in my mind, maybe it only got 50,000 views.
33:59So I just think nobody saw it.
34:00And I'm like, okay, well, just because the algorithm didn't love it, doesn't mean somebody
34:05else didn't.
34:07So I find myself now, sometimes I'll do a reel.
34:10Well, first off, let me back up.
34:12If you think you're real, it's going to go viral.
34:14It will not.
34:15Yeah.
34:15That is the kiss of death.
34:16If you're like, Oh my gosh, y'all, this is so good.
34:18This is so good.
34:19And I spent two hours editing this and it's going to be amazing.
34:21It's going to get about 10,000 views and about four likes and seven shares.
34:26Now, if you just throw something together and you're like running out the door and you
34:29didn't do your makeup, that's the one that's going to catch it.
34:33But sometimes I do things and I just kind of know, like this is very niche.
34:37So people probably, but just the, the faithful will think that this is funny.
34:43But then again, I just did the, Hey Jesus, it's me.
34:45Where are all the mammals?
34:46And that's gone viral.
34:49And I thought that just, Oh, this will just make a few, a few women laugh who are maybe
34:53having a bad day.
34:55And that one.
34:56It's blowing up.
34:57Praise the Lord.
34:58Yeah.
34:58Yeah.
34:59Yeah.
34:59And I needed that because I hadn't had a lot take off because the algorithm doesn't like
35:04old accounts.
35:05The algorithm likes new accounts.
35:07It's hard out here in the algorithm.
35:10But when you're on the road, it's got to be to hear that room laugh.
35:15Um, has got to, you know, really feel good.
35:19Um, because the algorithm is, yeah, the likes are nice, but, um, you know, it's, you're not
35:25getting this kind of connection in the same way.
35:30You're not.
35:30I was about to go on stage and one of the openers just commented that the person on stage like,
35:38Oh, he's not getting as many laughs as he normally gets.
35:40And I said, well, it would be hard for him to get laughs.
35:42I mean, they're here, you know, this is, they're here to see me.
35:45I said, so I think he's getting plenty of laughs.
35:48And she was like, Oh, okay.
35:50And I said, he's doing an amazing job.
35:52And I said, here's the thing I get heckled in the comments.
35:55So I get love on stage.
35:57Yeah.
35:57You know, I don't really have a lot of hecklers that come to see me because they know they're
36:02coming to Ellen's Cremetti show.
36:03So, but now I will get like some very loud hotty toddies and very loud, like war eagles.
36:10Like they will start yelling their battle cries, which is hysterical, um, which I love.
36:14But it is true that, you know, I get heckled because people make mean comments in the comment
36:20section, but I get love on, I get love on stage because we're all just there to laugh
36:25together.
36:26It means so much and I love to travel and meet all of these women and the fun men that
36:34come with them to shows.
36:35It's such a good time.
36:36And my, the whole reason I started Instagram was to have a standup career.
36:41I've always loved standup comedy.
36:43It's funny.
36:44It was kind of a means to an end for you.
36:46Yeah.
36:46It was because one day before class started, um, my instructor, her name is Tamale Sepp.
36:53She has bright red hair.
36:54And so she goes by the stage name Tamale.
36:56She said, before it started, she said, guys, these classes are really filling up because
37:01we have so many people that went viral during COVID and now they're getting booked into clubs,
37:07but they don't know.
37:07They don't quite know joke structure.
37:09They don't quite know, you know, how to do an actual show.
37:13So they're coming to us to learn how to convert their bits into, into jokes on stage.
37:19So when you guys get your chance to headline, you guys are going to be ready.
37:23And it hit me.
37:24It was like, okay, wait a minute.
37:25I actually have been taking standup writing classes and I know how to write standup.
37:30I just have no audience.
37:32And I thought, well, let me just turn my standup that I've been writing.
37:37Let me turn that into Instagram bits and I'll, I'll find my crazy women.
37:43And then maybe if I say, Hey, I'm going to be at this comedy club, then maybe they'll
37:47come see me.
37:48So I really took everything in the opposite direction to try to build a standup career.
37:53Well, you definitely found them.
37:56It's been amazing.
37:56I just, and I love meeting people who sometimes people will say, if I do like Southern mom
38:02does this, they'll say like, well, we do that up North or we do that over here.
38:05And I'm like, I only have the one accent, so I'm not going to try to imitate your accent.
38:10I'm just doing it from my perspective, but it has really resonated across the country.
38:16Well, it definitely has.
38:17And, um, uh, it's great to see, and I would encourage people to go out and see you.
38:23When you're on the road, you had a whole chapter in this book about caramel cake.
38:28Yes.
38:28Just tell me quickly, like why caramel cake deserves a whole chapter and why that was
38:35so important to you and why it's so important to your family.
38:38Okay.
38:38Well, anyone who's ever made caramel cake understands that it deserves its own chapter
38:42because you can't, you know, you've got, I tell people it like, it takes 15 minutes and
38:47every dedication of your heart to the Lord to make a good caramel icing.
38:53But especially in the eighties and nineties, every church had caramel cake ladies.
38:57You had certain ladies who were just really good at making it.
39:00I was lucky that I had both of my grandmothers and my aunt, Frances, all three of them made
39:07caramel cake.
39:07So I had just an abundance of this delicacy.
39:13And it wasn't until both of my grandmothers passed.
39:15And then my aunt Frances brought the caramel cake in a nine by 13.
39:19It wasn't in a layer.
39:20I remember thinking, wait a minute, these are going to, this is going to end one day,
39:24this train of caramel cakes.
39:27And, you know, my grandmother, she showed me how to make it when I was 19 and I watched
39:33her, but I thought she was going to be around forever.
39:35And I just didn't think I really needed to continue to perfect it.
39:39And I asked her, I said, grandma, listen, as she was passing away, she was in the hospital.
39:44You know, I said, grandma, you know, your funeral's on Friday.
39:46I'm kidding.
39:46That was a joke.
39:48I'm just kidding.
39:49I'm just kidding.
39:50You asked her about her caramel cake.
39:54I asked her about her caramel cake.
39:55And she said, oh, it's in the notebook and you're going to be fine.
39:58And she said, remember, it took me 17 tries and you're going to get it.
40:01You're going to get it.
40:02Well, I went and every recipe in that red notebook was different.
40:07And people would bring us recipes and they're like, here's your caramel cake recipe.
40:11I never could get it right.
40:13And it's like, well, no, you couldn't because this isn't it.
40:16Well, thankfully, Miss Bonnie Jones, who had made caramel cake with my grandmother, she wrote everything down.
40:22So after she had passed away, she wrote my mother a letter and said, Martha, I just wanted to share.
40:26These are all the steps to making the caramel cake.
40:30And I just wanted to share them with you.
40:31I know that you have them, but I just wanted to share this great day because we made the cake and she made me take it home to my husband.
40:37And it was amazing.
40:38And I was like, this is it.
40:40And it took me once I had to learn my oven.
40:44But once I had my oven going, my caramel icing recipe is you have a pan of sugar that you were burning in a cast iron skillet.
40:54And you have another pan that you're bringing to a soft boil with cream and sugar.
40:59And you're bringing that to a soft boil.
41:01The key is that you have your sugar burnt, and I mean two seconds before it's burned, and that it's at the soft boil stage.
41:11And you can pour that sugar into the soft boiled mixture.
41:15Mix it until your arm wants to fall off and then 20 more stirs.
41:20Then you can add in your butter and your vanilla.
41:25And so it's just a symphony that a lot of people just don't understand.
41:29And the timing is everything.
41:30The timing is everything.
41:32And you have to have your cake layers ready to be iced.
41:36You have to have everything ready at a moment's notice.
41:38And also, it's just one of those recipes.
41:41I love Southern Living.
41:42I love what Food TV has done.
41:44But not everyone is meant to be a caramel cake lady.
41:47No.
41:48You know, and we've grown up in the age of television.
41:50Everyone thinks that they should be able to make everything.
41:54I mean, there was a time I thought I could make puff pastry.
41:56And they had me thinking that I could do that.
41:58And I've just had to accept.
42:00You just need one person in the family.
42:02You need one person.
42:03And you need, you know, you need each person in the family and each one teach one and learn
42:06how to do it.
42:07But it's a dying art.
42:09It is because we've just become so fast and so quick with how we do things.
42:14A well-made caramel cake is just not a tradition I want to see die out.
42:17So I thought it needs a chapter so we could all learn about it.
42:20I'm glad you're keeping it going.
42:23All right.
42:23Just last question for you, Ellen.
42:26What does it mean to you to be Southern?
42:27Oh, to be Southern, it means, you know, you're nice when you don't want to be.
42:33You know, if you're tired and you're feeling cranky or like if so-and-so's got some party
42:38going on and you're tired and you don't want to go, you're still going to, you're going
42:41to get ready and go because they're going to do the same thing for you.
42:45And you want people at your party.
42:46So you're going to go to their party.
42:48It's, you know, putting on your lipstick when you don't want to because it's going
42:50to make you feel better.
42:51Then you're going to see somebody, you know, at the grocery store, you know, maybe when
42:55you're having a bad day, but you're still going to show people love.
42:58And it's, you know, hospitality, you know, Mississippi is the hospitality state, but I
43:02think that we're the hospitality region.
43:04So it's showing people hospitality, even if you don't feel like it, even when you're tired
43:10and when everybody comes over, you act like you're not tired and you're smiling and
43:14just so happy that they're there because you can rest when the crowd leaves.
43:18Beautifully said.
43:19And, um, uh, congrats on everything.
43:23You've got, you know, you've got a great book out.
43:26You're doing such funny stuff.
43:28And, um, I hope you've got some fun dates coming up on the road.
43:32I absolutely do.
43:33I will be in Atlanta actually doing a hustle, hustle, pray, which is my mantra.
43:39And it's for anyone who wants to learn or who, let me take that back.
43:44It's not for anyone who wants to learn, but I want to share with other people how I went
43:49from being, you know, a mom and sales rep to live in my dream.
43:53And so it is just a humorous, a humorous talk about how I got here and how other people can
43:59also hustle, hustle, pray and reach their dreams.
44:02And then I'll be at Zaney's in Nashville.
44:04And then I have a date in Huntsville and Naples.
44:07We're working on Houston.
44:08So if you go to ellenscrimetti.com, I keep all my dates there.
44:13And I also have a newsletter called Committee on Committees.
44:15Oh, even better.
44:16Even better.
44:17Yeah.
44:18Join the Committee on Committees and get my newsletter and keep up on my dates.
44:21Well, congrats on the book.
44:23It's called Hey Jesus, It's Me.
44:24I have questions, comments, and concerns.
44:26Thank you for having me.
44:27And thanks for being on Biscuits and Jam.
44:30It's been a treat.
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