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FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30I'm not a fan of the game, but I'm not a fan of the game.
01:30That was my last 50 cents.
01:32Well, you know, I have a theory about this.
01:38I really wanted those chips.
01:40It's a worldwide conspiracy.
01:48Hold that thought.
02:00Big dog.
02:13Really big dog.
02:27So you were saying, conspiracy?
02:32Worldwide, I got evidence.
02:34Hmm.
02:35You may have something there.
02:36Let's go get those chips.
02:37Did you set the timer?
02:44Yes.
02:44Did you press start?
02:46Yes.
02:46And you're sure the door's closed?
02:48Yes.
02:49Did you set the timer?
02:50Tick.
02:51It's no use.
02:52It's broken.
02:53We might as well put the pizza back in the fridge.
02:55Oh, now the door's stuck.
03:01Step aside, Arthur.
03:02I have a knack for fixing things electrical.
03:05Well...
03:06Whoops.
03:11Not to worry.
03:14So that's your knack?
03:16One must always try, Arthur.
03:18It's all right.
03:19It was broken anyway.
03:20We'll get another one tomorrow.
03:21Splendid, chum.
03:23This looks like a job for legal tender.
03:40Ah, excellent.
03:42You have returned with yet another piece of my sinister puzzle.
03:46Give me the device.
03:47Ha, ha, ha!
03:48Yes!
03:50No, Doc.
03:51No, I don't want to play.
03:52Come on, quit it!
03:55What?
04:03Here, my little sister.
04:05Take this and plug it into the...
04:07I know, I know.
04:08You don't have to explain.
04:09You're always explaining and explaining.
04:11Close right here.
04:15Amelia, you are such a child.
04:17Oh, here it comes.
04:19Well, that's so explaining.
04:20You just don't know what it's like to be a criminal mastermind.
04:23You don't understand the pressure I'm under.
04:25Do you have to think evil thoughts up all the time?
04:28Oh, there's another one.
04:29Good.
04:33And where was I?
04:34Evil thoughts all the time.
04:36Yeah, evil thoughts all the time.
04:37But to understand me, you've got to understand the criminal mastermind mentality, Amelia.
04:42We prize one thing above all else.
04:45And do you know what that is?
04:46And do you know what that is?
04:51Yeah.
04:51Brains.
04:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, yes!
04:54Brains!
04:54Ha, ha, lovely, beautiful, thinking brains.
04:59I mean, how many other kids do you know that mastered quantum physics before they could walk, huh, Amelia?
05:04Or built their first particle accelerator during recess and kindergarten, huh?
05:07Or, or have their very own mega multi-devastator cannon!
05:12It's wicked.
05:13And let me tell you, when I get that last part, I'll be doing some big, big evil.
05:28Dog, in the morning, you're going to fetch me a microwave oven.
05:34The dimwist that manufactured it have no idea of its many evil settings.
05:38Got it?
05:42Rose and rose of useless consumer junk.
05:58Dog, stop at the next salesman you see.
06:04Excuse me, sir, but could you tell me where the microwave ovens are located?
06:09Huh?
06:09Oh, uh, down 40 aisles and make a left.
06:13You are here.
06:15Uh-huh, uh-huh.
06:17Being here is a lot like being lost, Arthur.
06:20Yeah, I always hate coming to these giant mondo stores, but they have the best prices.
06:25Not a problem.
06:26We merely have to find the proper here, and microwaves will follow.
06:31Off to find the elusive here, my friend.
06:33The thrill of the hunt is on.
06:36There, maybe there, perhaps that way.
06:39Oh, oh, what fun.
06:43Great, one left.
06:45What a bargain.
06:46Ah, life is good.
06:48That's the one, dog.
06:53I gotta have that one.
06:54Fetch!
06:55Hey, dog, that's ours.
06:57We saw it first.
06:59He dead.
07:00Is that your brain?
07:01I don't think he's gonna give it back.
07:06Well, then we have a problem, because I'm not giving it back either.
07:12Hey, you big blue jerk!
07:14Let go!
07:14I got plans for this microwave!
07:16Well, we've got many a TV dinner to heat unevenly ourselves.
07:20Okay, then.
07:22Prepare for the wrath of Charles!
07:34Whoa!
07:39Help!
07:40Tick!
07:41Help!
07:43Earth is being attacked by major name-brand appliances!
07:46Help, Tick!
08:05I can use help any time now!
08:08Oh, fickle face would that I could clone myself!
08:11Take that object, this modern convenience!
08:17And this!
08:18And that!
08:22Ha ha!
08:23Cool!
08:24Evil wins again!
08:26And this!
08:26And that!
08:27And a whole lot more of this!
08:29Uh, uh, Tick, I think you can stop now.
08:33You know, for a cord this long, 1098 is really quite a bargain!
08:37So how will you be paying?
08:42Cash, check, or credit card?
08:45Credit card.
08:47Definitely credit card.
08:52I'm starting to suspect this is more than a simple shopper's tiff.
08:56Evil is a foot!
08:58Ah, the city reservoir!
09:09Now, if I can just control my fall enough, I'll be able to land in the water.
09:13Must use every muscle in sinewy concert to guide my free fall!
09:19Oh, yes!
09:21Looking good!
09:23Oh, looking very good!
09:26Tick, are you all right?
09:31Physically or spiritually?
09:33Hurry, Tick!
09:34Hop in the cab!
09:35I can see the robot!
09:36We can still catch him!
09:38I must now leave your warm embracer, Mother.
09:41Duty calls.
09:49Four, five, six, and tip.
09:51Thanks.
09:52What manner of evil hideout is this?
09:57It's so, so nice!
10:00Hello?
10:01Hello, boys?
10:02Please, come on in!
10:03We've been expecting you!
10:06Little Charles has always been unusually bright.
10:10Almost too bright, some might say.
10:12So let's see if we have this right.
10:16You nice folks are the parents of the villain that owns that robot dog.
10:20You mean Skippy!
10:21Oh, he was a darling puppy we gave to Charles for his birthday.
10:25We were hoping it would distract him from this evil thing he's so into.
10:29But Skippy met with an unfortunate car-chasing accident.
10:33He had this habit of chasing cars that were heading toward him, and, well...
10:37I can see how that would be a problem.
10:40Thanks.
10:41These are great.
10:42You're welcome.
10:44But that didn't get Charles down.
10:45He just threw a few parts together, a bit of brain transplant surgery,
10:49and Skippy was as good as new, if somewhat different.
10:53Then he got the idea to do it to himself.
10:55I mean, that transparent dome head.
10:58Transparent, what?
11:00Oh, that's right.
11:01You haven't met Charles yet.
11:03Some kids get their ears pierced, others it's a unique haircut.
11:07Charles likes people to see his brain.
11:09Would you like another shake?
11:10Yes, please.
11:13Crisis! Crisis! Crisis!
11:18Charles, crisis!
11:19That bug man is talking to Mommy and Daddy.
11:22I am displeased.
11:28And that's Charles on his favorite blanket.
11:32Is that an adorable tushy, or is that an adorable tushy?
11:36Oh, man, I hate it when she tells those stories.
11:38I'll put a stop to this.
11:40Those super fools have got to go.
11:42Well, let me tell you, I think what you have is basically a good boy.
11:46Perhaps a tad more twisted than most, but a good boy.
11:49And I don't think there's anything wrong with him that a big, loving hug wouldn't fix.
11:54Oh, I don't think that's the problem.
11:57Hug this!
12:00You're not gonna hurt the funny bunny man.
12:02He's not a bunny, he's a moth, and yes, he goes too.
12:06No!
12:06Amelia, let me explain a little something about evil.
12:09Please! No more explaining!
12:12Hey, Charles, you in there?
12:14The tick would like to wrap with ya.
12:17Well, hello there, little man.
12:26Don't call me little, you obnoxious dip.
12:28Oh, now, now, no need to get worked up.
12:30You know, Chuck, I might be a big old superhero, but I think I know where you're coming from.
12:37Pre-adolescence is a rough ride for anyone.
12:40Oh, for sure, man.
12:42Let me go get my act together.
12:44Wait right there, dude.
12:46I'll be back.
12:48I really think I'm getting through, Arthur.
12:51I have a knack with kids.
12:53Not like your knack with microwaves, I hope.
12:56You know, you can be quite cryptic sometimes.
12:58Evil, evil, evil.
12:59Come on, evil, evil.
13:01Oh, this should be a great time for an evil thought.
13:04Up!
13:04Dog!
13:10Dog!
13:11Get down there and make mincemeat of those two!
13:21Steady, Arthur.
13:23Animals smell fear.
13:24Let me do the talking.
13:25So, we meet again.
13:27Skippy, is it?
13:29Ah, yes.
13:30That's a nice doggy toy you have.
13:32I hear there's some exciting developments in the field of rubber squeak toys.
13:36Heh, heh, heh.
13:37I think we're gonna wish he kept that toy in his mouth.
13:47Attention, interlopers.
13:49You know, you guys have really pushed me to new heights of evilness.
13:52And I would thank you if I wasn't so evil!
13:54Because only someone as evil as me would pull the moon out of its orbit and smash it into the earth!
14:05Battle! Battle! Battle!
14:08He's doing it!
14:09He's gonna smash the moon into the earth, Tick!
14:12From that little monster!
14:14Don't be silly, Arthur.
14:15This is just his youthful cry for help.
14:18His cry for a hug.
14:20Don't worry, Charles.
14:22There's someone in this big, crazy world who understands.
14:26Who's willing to help.
14:28Who's willing to hug.
14:30Oh, man. He gives me the creeps.
14:32Oh, well.
14:33I won't let that wreck my big moment.
14:35Because I'm beside myself with evil.
14:38And there's only one thing to do.
14:39Put my hands on my hips and laugh.
14:46That's it.
14:47Laugh.
14:48Laugh with me.
14:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:54Massive tidal waves are being reported around the world.
14:56There's rapid panic in the streets.
14:58It's been verified that the moon has been knocked out of its orbit and is on a collision course with Earth.
15:03It's the end.
15:04It's the end.
15:05Sweetheart, I think Charles may be going just a little bit too far.
15:09Yes, dear.
15:10I believe you're right.
15:11It's time to put our collective parental foot down.
15:14What?
15:19Charles.
15:21Charles.
15:22Charles.
15:22You put the moon back this minute.
15:24Listen to your father, honey.
15:26He's right.
15:27No.
15:27Charles, I said put the moon back.
15:30And I said no.
15:33Charles, your mother and I are very, very disappointed in you.
15:37But due to our commitment to progressive and modern parenting, we'll trust you to work this out for yourself.
15:44He's smashing the moon into the Earth and you're going to let him work it out?
15:47You don't have kids, do you?
15:50You have to try and see things from their point of view sometimes.
15:54This is the 90s.
15:55We're sure that Charles' desire to smash the moon into the Earth is a normal part of his development.
16:01And that it's just a phase that'll pass.
16:03Soon, we hope.
16:04Now, don't you or your sister be late for supper.
16:07Hey, this is pretty serious.
16:09What?
16:10I want it.
16:12I want it.
16:14Stop it.
16:15Stop it.
16:16Bad dog.
16:17Bad dog.
16:18Bad dog.
16:20Oh, come on.
16:21Stop toying with him, Skippy.
16:22Finish him off.
16:24And I'll reward you with a new batch of doggy toys.
16:30This boy's logic wigs me out.
16:38Providence once again smiles on the blue one.
16:41If I can just reach the object of Skippy's affections.
16:47Here, boy.
17:01Does Skippy want to play?
17:02Okay, doggy.
17:05Okay, doggy.
17:06I'm tick.
17:08It's time to play fetch.
17:12No more Dennis.
17:17No more flu shots.
17:18No more homework.
17:19I'm ticked.
17:20Yeah.
17:21Charles!
17:22Great dad!
17:23What?
17:24Oh.
17:25How dare you come in and defile my secret domain?
17:28I dare because I care, Charles.
17:31The tick is one happening guy.
17:33Oh, please.
17:34Would you stop it with the hip talk?
17:36You don't like it?
17:37No.
17:38Not earlier?
17:39Not ever.
17:40Huh.
17:40Well, in that case then, put the moon back, demon waif!
17:45Make me.
17:46But you're gonna destroy the earth!
17:48Well, hey, tick.
17:49You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
17:52That's evil for you.
17:54I'll break a few eggs with you, you little brat.
17:58Oh, big man.
17:59Pick on the brainy little kid.
18:02Oh, can I get off this train now, please?
18:05Doc, destroy him!
18:18Only a microsecond to make my move.
18:20Think, think, I could...
18:21No, no, maybe if I...
18:22No, that never works.
18:23What if I...
18:23No, that only works on ducks.
18:25Ducks!
18:25A good one!
18:26I shall duck!
18:27I'll duck!
18:35That was fun!
18:55Let's do it again!
18:57Dog!
18:58Is that you, boy?
19:01Breathing is good.
19:02I want to make a habit out of it.
19:04Dog!
19:05Skippy!
19:06Are you all right?
19:10Oh, don't worry, Skippy.
19:12I'll save you.
19:23There.
19:24I hope this works.
19:26It has to.
19:27Skippy!
19:28Speak to me, boy!
19:29Speak to me!
19:30Oh, don't worry!
19:32Oh, don't worry!
19:33Oh, don't worry!
19:33Oh, don't worry!
19:33Oh, don't worry!
19:33Oh, don't worry!
19:34Oh, don't worry!
19:34Oh, don't worry!
19:35Oh, don't worry!
19:35Oh, don't worry!
19:36Yay!
19:36Yay!
19:37Give me the okay!
19:38Yippee!
19:40Uh, Arthur, is this a warm moment, or should we be disturbed?
19:45Well, you're in some pretty deep water, mister.
19:48Cleaning this mess up is definitely coming out of your future allowance.
19:51And by the luck of things, that'll take about ten years.
19:54Ten years?
19:56Mom!
19:56Mom!
19:57How am I going to rebuild my lab?
19:59It's not fair!
20:00It's all his fault!
20:02Well, if reinforcing family values is my fault, then I think my super shoulders can bear the
20:09brunt of that blame.
20:10Right, Arthur?
20:11I guess.
20:12Ah, yes.
20:14Grateful.
20:15Grateful because the family unit is the glue, the mucilage, the various safety-tested adhesives
20:21that keep the fabric of our society together.
20:24Bless that big, sticky quilt that blankets this land of ours in caring and sharing!
20:30Little man, have we learned our lesson?
20:34Oh, yeah.
20:35You bet.
20:36Great!
20:36Great!
20:36Great!
20:37Great!
20:37Great!
20:38Great!
20:39Great!
20:39Great!
20:39Great!
20:40Great!
20:40Great!
20:40Great!
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20:41Great!
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20:42Great!
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20:58Great!
20:59Great!
21:00Great!
21:01Great!
21:02Great!
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21:06Great!
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