10* Things Brittany Broski Can’t Live Without

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Brittany Broski joins GQ to reveal her 10 Essentials. The American comedian breaks down her daily essentials: from her ‘football panties’ (“this is chafe control”) to her perfume (“I wanna smell like a lumberjack”). Watch the full episode of GQ’s 10 Essentials, as Brittany Broski reveals 10 things she can’t live without.  ----------  Director: Kristen DeVore Director of Photography: Grant Bell Editor: Robby Massey  Talent: Brittany Broski Producer: Sam Dennis Line Producer: Jen Santos Production Manager: James Pipitone Production Coordinator: Elizabeth Hymes Talent Booker: Paige Garbarini Camera Operator: Lucas Vilicich Sound Mixer: Justin Fox Production Assistant: Lauren Boucher; Hollie Ortiz Post Production Supervisor: Jess Dunn Supervising Editor: Rob Lombardi Assistant Editor: Justin Symonds

Transcript

00:00I want to smell like a lumberjack.

00:02I want to smell like a lumberjack came up and

00:04poof poof poof

00:05gosh

00:08Hi GQ, I'm Brittany Broski and these are my essentials.

00:17My first essential is

00:21loud garlic salt.

00:23Garlic salt. Sometimes you go to a restaurant and you pay $35 for an entree that tastes like air.

00:33That's when you whip out your McCormick's garlic salt and your Tabasco if you like spicy food.

00:38I like to do a light dusting on top. That's how chefs do it, right?

00:42You can put garlic salt on any vegetable. The weirdest thing I've put it on...

00:47I kind of I love a water chestnut. You bitches don't like water chestnuts the way that I do.

00:53On a water chestnut little hoisin sauce. Y'all don't know what I'm doing in my house.

00:57The next essential is

01:01my football panties.

01:06Me and my best friend Taylor call this sort of undergarment a football panty and I'm sure you

01:12can understand why. These go under anything. This is not shapewear. This is not tummy control.

01:18This is chafe control. If there are any big bitches watching this,

01:22you know about chafing. They're so goddamn stretchy. You could really stretch these like a...

01:28What are those? Workout? Workout bands? I put these under literally anything.

01:32You have to have a nude and a black pair. Crucial for if you're active, you're on the go.

01:36Because I like to wear a lot of dresses and I'm not trying to flash somebody. That's the last thing

01:40you need is me on Popgrave doing just a full Gooch reveal. I'm not doing that yet. So until that

01:45point we're doing football panties. My next essential is...

01:51Would have been really cool if I caught it. Medicated chapstick.

01:56After a long night of eating garlic salt, your lips are going to be dried. Little crusty raisins.

02:01Medicated chapstick. It's the best original classic cotton candy if you're a freak. I don't use lip gloss.

02:08I use medicated chapstick. It's a perfect sheen on top of any lip look. When you put it on top of

02:14lipstick, it leaves this really fun brown rim onto the actual chapstick itself. Some of you may be

02:21asking, why medicated chapstick? Because I like the taste. Because I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I like how

02:27it smells. It makes me feel like I'm applying medicine. It's not medicine. Ultimately, I don't know

02:31what's in it. Go ahead and just tell me. Canphor and mentholadium. Menthol. It's Vicks Vapor Rub.

02:38I'm gonna start putting it on my chest. Now what is canphor, I wonder?

02:44It's not for me to know. That's why I don't care. It feels good and I like to eat it. I mean...

02:49My next essential is... my good luck charm. This is a whale shark.

02:56Where did I get this? Funny you should ask. I was at Coachella. We were at the 100 Gex show.

03:01One of the most chaotic things I've ever been a part of. A young woman who was high on many a

03:06substance came over to me and said, you want a whale shark? And I said, yeah, I would. And she goes,

03:11for you, you're gonna have a great life. And then she ran away. And I go, I think that was a fairy.

03:17I was drunk. I think that was actually my guardian angel. She put this in my hand and I haven't let go

03:22of it since. I don't know. Good things happen to me when I keep that motherfucking thing on me.

03:27My whale shark, bitch. Look at it. Every time I switch purses, boom, she's in it. And she is she,

03:33her. Thank you. She doesn't have a name. That's the whimsical nature of her. You don't name that.

03:38My next essential, there's no question, it's Blueberry Red Bull. For anyone who is a tax-paying,

03:45voting citizen of Broski Nation, you know that every creative endeavor I've ever attempted

03:50is fueled by Blueberry Red Bull. Do they pay me? No. This is what it looks like.

03:56Really natural, you know, of the earth. And that's why I like it. It makes me feel healthy.

04:01It makes me feel good. The way that it settles into this really dark color is really, really delicious.

04:08There's nothing like it. You want to know the worst pain of my life? I have my gallbladder removed and he

04:13was like, no caffeine for three weeks. Three weeks? Just shoot me with a fucking gun. Number one.

04:20Grillo's Pickle Spears.

04:29Awesome. Okay. Grillo's Pickle Spears. God, there's nothing. That's like orgasmic. That,

04:34with the little garlic bits floating on the top. I could drink it until there's nothing left.

04:40Take the pickles out. Put some ice cubes in there. Have a great night. This is so important to me and

04:46who I am. I'm from Texas. I love pickles. The dill is, it looks excessive, but it's not. Trust me,

04:51it's not. And I'm going real classy, you know, one percent with this. But in reality, I'm, I'm fisting

04:57these. I'm double, oh, it's 2 a.m. I'm going crazy on this. Ultimately, very delicious. What I would

05:05recommend? Grillo's Pickle Spear. Chamoy. Another plate. Mango and Chamoy. Have diarrhea all night.

05:15These together, I will not be trying. But I know that there's something very evil and dark-sided

05:20happening in my stomach right now. But I have to do it. It's part of who I am.

05:24What does it taste like? Together, bad. If you can imagine, it tastes bad. Yeah. My next essential item

05:40are my Repetto Ballet Flats.

05:46This was a purchase that ultimately was way too much money. I don't regret it though. These,

05:53I feel like a French ballerina. You bitches can't tell me anything. These go with everything.

05:58I like the little strap. They're very stretchy because I got big wide feet. I got big flippers,

06:03okay, when I'm walking around. These fit, they're comfortable. I'm worn the hell out of them too.

06:07Don't show the bottom. I went through a really intense period a few months ago where I'm watching

06:13ballet vlogs. I'm dressing ballet core. I almost signed up for an adult ballet class, got embarrassed,

06:18canceled my subscription. What kind of a dancer am I? Some might call it

06:22Caucasian. Some might call it abstract. Some might call it trying her best, but failing.

06:29I just lied. I'm, I'm actually a really great dancer, but don't ever ask me for a dance video

06:32because I know every Beyonce choreography by heart and I'll never do it for anyone. That's for me.

06:36You have to keep some things for yourself.

06:43I have a problem. I have a problem. I got into this phase where I was blind buying.

06:49Don't blind buy perfume. Okay. You're going to piss yourself off and it's a waste of money.

06:53All of these I had sniffed prior to purchasing. This one right here is my favorite scent of all time.

07:00I mean, it's damn near gone. I go through probably six bottles of this a year. This is

07:04Mais sans Louis Marie, No. 2, Le L'Enfant. For all the French people watching, you're welcome.

07:09I know that was good. This is just so good. This, the notes, I think I know it by memory.

07:14Hinoki, patchouli, cedarwood, cypress. That's a lie. It's mainly patchouli, hinoki,

07:22uh, cedarwood, maybe sandalwood. There's no sandalwood in this. I lied. This is also the

07:26perfume oil, a hack. If you're like, my perfume doesn't last. First of all, moisturize your skin.

07:32Put lotion on. Go in with a perfume oil or a body oil. Doesn't have to be scented. Then apply your

07:37perfume. It needs something to hold on to. Get into these. I love a woody earthy fragrance.

07:43Oh, it's so good. This is more patchouli woody. This is the fragrance Coppela by Xenu.

07:50Heretic Parfums Scandalwood. Yeah. Wow. It's so good, dude. Again, wood. It's just wood. I want

07:58to smell like a lumberjack. I want to smell like a lumberjack came up and that's what I want to smell

08:05like. And I do. She spit everywhere, by the way. This is my baby. This is my, my child. And shout out

08:10to Michelle Visage because she really put me on to Pinhaligon's darlings. You know what

08:14the fuck I'm talking about? They also make one called Dandy, which is the craziest fragrance

08:18I've ever smelled. It smells like, like whiskey a little bit, but it smells like an old gentleman's

08:24lounge. I wear it at home because when I've worn it out, my friends are like, what the fuck are you

08:28wearing? They don't like it because they don't get it. They don't get the vision. What makes a great

08:32fragrance to me is something that's unique. Something that you can't stop thinking about.

08:37Of course you layer fragrances. These go well together. Honestly, all of these would go well

08:42together because you have to pair base notes. That's a good hack. If a lot of them are patchouli

08:47based or musk based or cedar based or whatever, that's a good way to kind of group them together.

08:52Other than that, I don't know, you can experiment. And if you smell like a turd in a diaper,

08:56then it's not my fault. My next essential is accessories, which is kind of a throwaway

09:02essential, but they are essential. Okay, let's start with the sunglasses. These are my all-time

09:08favorite. These are my Burberry. This was my first ever big girl purchase. They don't make these

09:13anymore. How about that? And are they all scratched up on the lens? Yeah. Can I see out of them? No.

09:18And are they beat to hell? Yeah. But this to me is a symbol of like, wow, girl, I'm living my dream

09:24life. These are crap eyewear. If y'all want a great quality, adequately priced, long-lasting

09:32sunglass, get into crap eyewear. These are, these are my little girls. These are my Pradas. Yes! I love

09:40these sunglasses. They go with everything. There's something so cunty about when you turn the,

09:46I am guilty. I am guilty of going inside, being violently, belligerently drunk, wearing sunglasses

09:52inside, stumbling. I'm stumbling. I'm pissing on the floor. That was the old me. I don't do that

09:55anymore. But I was wearing one of these when I did it. My rings. This is my Aggie ring. It's a class

10:02ring. I went to Texas A&M and it's just something of like, wow, I really did that. Like, I'm very proud

10:07of graduating from college. It's something that it's like, wow, I earned that for myself. This ring I got,

10:13I was styled for the Gladiator 2 premiere. I brought my dad because Gladiator is his favorite movie. And I was

10:20like, obviously I have to bring Jeff. And then I got to wear this ring. It's got a little motif of a

10:25Roman like emperor. And I kind of fidgeted with it all night because I was so fucking nervous about

10:30meeting Paul Meskel. And of course the first question I asked when I walked in here was,

10:32did Paul Meskel sit in this chair? But I wore this that night and I was really proud of like,

10:36I can't believe this is my life. And I hosted the carpet with Josh Horowitz and my dad was there and

10:41Paul Meskel. And so I asked if I could buy this ring and I bought it. This is my Cladog ring

10:46of the parish Ireland. You face it out if you're looking for love and you face it in if you are in

10:53love. Get into that. This is my Prada ring. Goes with everything. This hand silver, this hand gold.

10:58There's a system to the shit that I freak. Sunscreen.

11:06Do you see how white I am? I'm not white, I'm pink. I step out in the sunlight for 30 minutes,

11:11red, lobster. This is essential for me. I like sunbomb. Gross. I like sunbomb. I like the way it

11:18smells. This brand is great because they sent me free product. And that's what life is about. It's

11:23about getting free product. Capitalism. That's what life is really about. And so I do like sunbomb.

11:28Another thing I do, I keep a spray in my car that's SPF 50 and I put it on my hands. And I do one of

11:34these and I rub it on my hands. So when I drive, I don't get grandma hands. Okay. And I learned that from

11:39Khloe Kardashian.

11:46This is my prized possession. Rosalia did a collab with Coca-Cola for a flavor called

11:51Transformation. Okay. In collaboration with her album Motomami, of which I have a tattoo.

11:58I got sent a PR package from Coca-Cola, of which I also have a tattoo. This means a lot to me. Look,

12:05I don't give a shit. Hydra Peak, Hydro Blask, Hydra your mama. I don't care. As long as it keeps my

12:10cold, it needs to be able to be left in a hot Texas car in the heat during the summertime.

12:15And the ice needs to not melt. This is good for that. And I will say, if you're driving, you go over a

12:20bump, it'll knock your tooth out. Okay. That's just a risk you have to take because I like the ergonomic

12:24handle here. I'll always have one of these on me. Thank you so much for watching. And you can watch

12:31my show, Royal Court, where I talk to your favorite celebrities in a medieval setting. You can also

12:35listen to my podcast, Broski Report, where I talk to myself for an hour. And you can also go watch a

12:41little YouTube video I made called Britney Broski's 10 Essentials in 2020, where I actually did this

12:46in the comfort of my bedroom. And half of this hasn't changed, except I think in that one,

12:50it was onion salt. Wow. How we change and transform. Can I keep these?

12:55They're not returning them. They're not taking those back. Not after I wear them.

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