- hace 3 meses
El Nerd lucha con una pila de malos juegos para NES y SNES sobre lucha libre, incluidos "WWF Wrestlemania Challenge", "WWF Royal Rumble", "WCW SuperBrawl Wrestling" y "Saturday Night Slam Masters".
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00:00He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard
00:18He's the angry Nintendo nerd
00:22He's the angry Atari Savior
00:25He's the angry video game nerd
00:30Man, in the 80s and 90s, there was nothing bigger than pro wrestling.
00:43It was as close as you can get to watching real-life superheroes fight it out for entertainment.
00:47I know it's fake or choreographed or whatever, but how do you fake landing on somebody with 300 pounds of man-ass?
00:54They were just flying through the air and just smashing each other with steel chairs and all that shit
00:59It was like watching an action movie happen live on TV
01:03And of course anything that's popular gets made into video games and you're probably wondering are these games complete shit?
01:10Yeah, a lot of them are but it's the kind of shit you couldn't even imagine
01:13Like I'm talking day after binging on buffalo wings and beer shit the kind of shit that never wipes
01:20Never wipes
01:22Never
01:24First up tag team wrestling on NES this game came out the same year as pro wrestling
01:31Which is a decent game so it gets spared
01:33Anyway tag team wrestling starts right up with no character selection or anything
01:38You play as some long-haired guy with the stubbiest punch possible
01:42The A button punches but the B button does absolutely dick as far as I can tell
01:46You run around mashing the A button hoping your deformed stump hits the other guy and then you both run into the ropes and hope for the best
01:53I seriously have no idea what the hell I'm doing in this
01:55Whenever the bad guys put me to hold or try to slam me a guy who I'm guessing is my tag partner
02:01Comes out of the corner and does absolutely nothing
02:03I don't know if he's automatic or what but no matter how much I beat on these guys
02:07They always seem to kick my ass and pin me
02:09Winner is strong bads
02:11At first it sounds like a hilarious typo but actually strong bads is the name of one of the teams in the game
02:17But what I think it really means is that this game is strongly bad
02:21Next up we got the real deal
02:25WWF Wrestlemania the first licensed WWF game for the NES
02:30Turn it on and you get a nice view of the acclaim logo and someone's drunk sunburned grandpa tearing off his shirt while screaming
02:37I know it's Hulk Hogan but come on is this the best they can make the Hulkster look he looks ridiculous
02:45Bigger better badder well, which is it?
02:48I'll give you one fucking guess
02:50From the start there's two modes standard and tournament
02:54Standard is single one-on-one matches while tournament mode is like your basic arcade ladder mode
02:59Choose a wrestler choose an opponent and then run around the ring like an asshole for a few minutes swinging at nothing
03:05When health gets low the game starts throwing power-ups
03:08But you're only able to collect the power-up specific to your wrestler
03:11Million Dollar Man has dollar signs Andre the Giant has what looks like big-ass hams and Hulk Hogan gets
03:18Crosses? Who the fuck does he think he is? Simon Belmont?
03:21I guess it's because Hulk always said to say your prayers and eat your vitamins but still kind of weird
03:27Maybe Nintendo and WWF thought it'd be kind of weird if kids saw
03:30Wrestlers taking pills in the game they thought maybe steroids or something
03:35I don't know but the thing that pisses me off is that I can't figure out how to pin anybody
03:40I hit every goddamn button possible and there's only two of them
03:43Million Dollar Man's just lying there with his gut in the air and all Hulk does is dance around like a jackass
03:50Eventually I pin the guy but fuck if I know how
03:53I guess I just happen to hit the magic combination of buttons
03:57I'm sorry I can't play this one anymore
04:00I know it's supposed to be a classic
04:02But back then we didn't know any better
04:04We didn't have any other options
04:06Oh, but that's not the end of it because there's a lot more at WWF wrestling games on the NES and oh my god
04:13I wonder who published them
04:27WrestleMania was bad
04:28But I gotta say LJN really turns up the diarrhea dial on the WWF suckery
04:33WrestleMania challenge plays at an isometric view which does not translate well to the NES controller
04:39If you were running around like an idiot in the original WrestleMania get ready
04:43Trying to hit a guy here is like trying to hit a grain of sand with a tennis racket while Andre the giant farts directly into your nostrils
04:51Steel cage challenge well
04:52It has a steel cage mode if you like glimpsing the wrestlers through the cage get the cage out of the way
04:58I can't see anything and in king of the ring can literally hit one button over and over and beat the guy
05:05Just kick him to the ground and repeatedly stop his dick then pin him for the slowest three count in history
05:10How long am I gonna be cursed to walk this earth and play LJN games when are they gonna run out?
05:27You know how I feel about these wastes of plastic and circuitry, but guess what they made
05:33WWF games for the Super Nintendo 2
05:37Super WrestleMania LJN Royal Rumble LJN raw
05:43LJN it doesn't matter if it's 8-bit or 16-bit. I still have no idea what I'm doing
05:49I hit every button and mash them as fast as I can
05:51But the computer always ends up beating me sounds as shit the graphics are boring as fuck
05:56The only real difference between these shit fests is the roster these games were all about the grappling
06:02So you'll hold on to them and tap the buttons like crazy till you throw them into some special move
06:07That's what these were all about
06:08They're exactly what you'd expect from LJN and Vince McMahon should be ashamed of himself for whoring out his product to such inept game designers
06:16Oh
06:17These games are an insult to wrestlers
06:19They're an insult to wrestling fans, and they're an insult to gamers in general
06:23However, thankfully there is a WWF game on the Super Nintendo. That's not made by LJN
06:29WrestleMania the arcade game by Midway acclaim
06:33This game definitely has a different feel than the others as a matter of fact
06:37It's kind of fun
06:38It goes with the digitized graphics that Midway games were famous for back then sure it's got its problems
06:43But the controls pretty fluid and doesn't take itself too seriously
06:47It plays pretty close to Mortal Kombat with strong and weak punch and all that
06:51There's even crazy special attacks like the Undertaker shooting out ghosts and slamming you with gravestones
06:57This feels like a game
06:59It's still fairly difficult especially when you play for the World Wrestling Federation Championship
07:04In that mode you fight two guys at a time, and it's cheap
07:07The computer just gangs up and beats the fuck out of you until you're dead
07:11This mode sucks, but not worse than the other games. I played if you want something more like a regular game stick to the Intercontinental Championship
07:19That's fun to say three times fast
07:21The game is over the top and feels like a cross between Mortal Kombat and NBA Jam
07:26Also, it has Vince McMahon himself doing the commentary
07:30There is one problem with the game that it has a weak roster with only six different characters
07:35And none that I really care for that much except for the Undertaker
07:38I mean, there's Bret Hart too, but come on who wants to play as Lex Luger or Doink?
07:43Surprisingly the Genesis version has more characters adding Bam Bam Bigelow and Yokozuna
07:48But the graphics and sound aren't as good as the Super Nintendo version
07:52But if you have to pick up a WWF game, I'd recommend this one on either system
07:57It even came out on 32x if you're into that heap of shit
08:02Wow, it's nice to play something decent for once
08:05But now I'm gonna fuck that up
08:07Kind of like putting on a new pair of underwear and then taking a shit in it right away
08:11This is Super Brawl
08:12It's WCW, so it's a little change of pace, maybe a little different
08:16Also, it's not LJN, so maybe it won't be that bad
08:24Well, the sound is pretty good
08:26Clear voice sample, nice colorful logo
08:29We're off to an alright start
08:31What the fuck?
08:33Okay, I get it
08:35He's wearing shorts that are the same color as his skin for some reason
08:39Like he's wearing yellow shorts, but they made all his skin yellow
08:41Which makes no sense, but it looks like he's fucking naked
08:45It's totally like he's naked, look
08:48He looks like a naked, dickless, mannequin man with invisible knees
08:54Wow
08:54Show me respect
08:55And how about the most annoying character select screen possible
08:58Who deserves the belt?
09:00I don't know who the fuck most of these guys are and they have no names
09:04Who are these people?
09:05It's not my fault
09:05They just shout random slogans at me and move at about two frames per second
09:10Whatever, I'll pick Ric Flair
09:12And of course it controls like ass
09:14The punches take almost a full second delay
09:17And seriously, why does everyone walk around like their shit caked up their ass?
09:22Ah, fuck this piece of shit, I'm done
09:26Let me tell you something brother
09:28This game is the worst there is
09:30The worst there was and the worst there ever will be
09:33Woo!
09:34It's a limousine, fucking, jet plane, sucking, diarrhea, drinking, asshole, stinking
09:39Hell on earth in a cartridge
09:41And I'm gonna open up a whole can of whoop ass on it
09:44And that's the bottom line
09:46Because the fucking nerd said so
10:16...
10:31O-kay
10:32Alright, well this one's on the right track
10:35The controls are simple
10:36Y attacks, B jumps, and A pins
10:39It's got balls to the wall, bone crunching, high flying action
10:43All the stuff you'd want in a wrestling game
10:45Y es que es hecho por el king de los juegos de las Battle Games, Capcom.
10:49No, no mencionas que features Mayor Mike Haggar de Final Fight como un personaje de Final Fight.
10:54I need a lot of practice con este juego, pero es lo y está muy bien con ese distinct Capcom feel.
11:01Seriously, ¿por qué no los juegos de los juegos de Capcom,
11:05sin tener seis de ellos a una de las mejores compañías de videojuegos en el mundo?
11:10Oh, y le mentioned el juego, la línea de la línea.
11:12LJN made the toys, too, and those fucking sucked, also!
11:17What are they thinking?
11:18Man, if LJN stood for Laugh and Joke and Num Nuts, then WWF must have stood for Wisecrackin' Wiener Fuck Farts!
11:42Wiener Fuck Farts
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