- 6 weeks ago
ENTERTAINMENT
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00The following programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:10Borrowed some money off some naughty people.
00:12Got to lie low for a bit, it's nothing.
00:13We're going to have to find this brother of his.
00:15But I don't have many strong male friendships.
00:18It feels like that's changing.
00:19My love, see you later! Dance class, yeah?
00:21Because I've only lumped you half your life savings for your wedding.
00:24I hope you're not going to take my cash and fuck off tomorrow by it right there.
00:28Do you not fancy me anymore?
00:29I think you might want to talk to Kirsty about her suspension.
00:33Do you ever feel like you're the worst person in the world?
00:40Right, well that's, um, thanks for...
00:43Yeah, yeah.
00:46See you later.
00:58Hi, love.
01:15Oh, fuck!
01:19Um, you...
01:20You're closed early, sorry.
01:23Lift your bag in the car.
01:24Lee?
01:25Um, I, er, er, he...
01:31Saw her on the street.
01:32Yeah.
01:33Picked her up, dropped her off.
01:34Right.
01:36Right.
01:38But, hang on.
01:43Are we feeling up in here?
01:44Excuse lateness, she has run off her feet.
01:47This is my lunch, would you believe me?
01:49Huh?
01:50Right.
01:51Are we ready?
01:52Mid-week warm-up in five, six, seven, eight, and...
01:58Are we staying, sir?
02:00They need to get used to an audience.
02:02Show a bit of support.
02:03Come on, you know you'll want to.
02:07Great.
02:07Now, positive vibes only inside the space is all I ask.
02:11Also, a two-pound donation for spectators.
02:13Pop it in the tub.
02:15Six, seven, eight, and...
02:17Bye.
02:19Ooh.
02:20I feel your tips back.
02:23Bitch.
02:24Why are you screening my calls?
02:26What if I was on fire or some shit?
02:29Anyway, listen.
02:30You know you said don't tell anyone about your brother, yeah?
02:33Well, same thing is...
02:35Don't tuck me, sweat patch!
02:37Get some deodorant, have some self-respect!
02:40Stinky prick!
02:45So, there was this bloke, right?
02:48So, how was work?
02:51Oh, yeah.
02:52You know, just usual.
02:55And here we go.
02:57And, ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome to the floor,
03:01the new Mr and Mrs Campbell with...
03:04The Lambada!
03:06Go!
03:07Love it.
03:08Yes.
03:10Yes.
03:11Lead, Glenn.
03:12Come on!
03:13From the hips, the hips!
03:17The thing about Lambada, see?
03:18Dominance.
03:19What?
03:20If he can't lead, I'm sorry, the whole thing goes...
03:21Ah!
03:22Oh, my God!
03:23Ah!
03:23Oh, my God!
03:24Shit!
03:25Oh, lovely!
03:26Glenn!
03:27I've scratched the cornea.
03:27Just pull it away!
03:28Ah!
03:29OK, be careful, be careful, be careful!
03:30There!
03:31Might have to lift.
03:31You're free.
03:32Ah!
03:32I've got some eye drops in my bag, just...
03:36Very brittle hair, haven't you?
03:37You want to sort that, darling?
03:39It's your iron, love.
03:40You'll be deficient.
03:42I'll just, er...
03:43Won't be a sec.
03:47Not so fast, Mr Spectator.
03:49Let's see what you got, eh?
03:50Oh, no, let's not.
03:52I won't expect footwork.
03:53Just wheel her about while she runs the choreo.
03:55No.
03:56No, you're all right.
03:57I won't say no for an answer.
03:58You might have to, my darling.
03:59Ah, he's not got what it takes for Latin.
04:01Heavy tread, you see.
04:05You fucking what?
04:06No, no, it's fine.
04:08I can't expect you to be able to leave.
04:09I'm able.
04:12Canning Town Break Dance Champion, 1990.
04:17That shit stays with you.
04:18I mean, I don't think we should...
04:20Come here now.
04:21I will.
04:21Five, six, seven, eight, let's go!
04:25I love it.
04:25Ooh, hello.
04:30It's great to have someone finally lead, eh?
04:33Just thought you should know, man's a proper dodgy geezer, isn't it?
04:37I'm going.
04:37If I can make it, what with me, have you treads?
04:40Silly, my lady, is it?
04:50Well, well, I'm going.
04:54If I can make it, what, with me heavy treads?
04:57Me, me, mate.
04:59Wait, Andre.
05:01You need to go and dance with your fiancée.
05:04Oh, me.
05:09Lee, there's a weird question,
05:11but you don't know any scary Irish blokes, do you?
05:14Something about a rabbit tattoo or...?
05:18No, forget it. Ignore.
05:21No, it's just Arsha at work being weird.
05:23See you later.
05:25OK, let's go.
05:27And five, six, seven, eight.
05:39Oh!
05:48Couldn't sleep.
05:51Nah.
05:52No, me neither.
05:54Just been doing a deep clean.
05:56I just, I do it with the lights off, just a bit more sort of mindful.
06:00Um, listen, Lee.
06:01Um, I was just thinking that, um, maybe you could find, um, find somewhere else to stay.
06:15Oh.
06:16Because everything was fine.
06:17Like, we were fine.
06:18And now, I don't know.
06:19Yeah, right.
06:20What?
06:21Nothing.
06:22I'll go.
06:23Right.
06:24Right.
06:25Right.
06:26Right.
06:27Oh, God.
06:28Oh, God.
06:29Oh, God.
06:30Oh, God.
06:31Oh, God.
06:32Oh, God.
06:33Oh, God.
06:34Oh, God.
06:35Oh, God.
06:36Oh, God.
06:37Oh, God.
06:38Oh, God.
06:39Oh, God.
06:40Oh, God.
06:41Oh, God.
06:42Oh, God.
06:43Oh, God.
06:44Oh, God.
06:45Oh, God.
06:46Oh, God.
06:47Oh, God.
06:48Oh, God.
06:49Oh, God.
06:50Oh, God.
06:53Oh, God.
06:54Oh, God.
06:55Oh, God.
06:56Yeah, I'm so sorry. It's just the boys. They don't they hang a little bit lower now. Yeah
07:04Yeah
07:05Anyway shut the fridge curse save the planet. I think I'm just gonna go and get some like yeah night night then night night
07:26No
07:35Busy day at work today you reckon love yeah got loads on
07:42I know love about your job
07:46It's honest love I'm
07:50A bit scared
07:53It's like you know you always tell him about work about your day
07:58Battle is from accounts. I said blonde Bob down and actually looks a bit of he man
08:02You know
08:05If you can lie to me about all that then
08:09What else might you be lying about you know
08:18What
08:22When I cursed
08:24I found out
08:28I'm sorry. I don't know how to have my name like your mother. This is dope. I just want to
08:32You'll have to spit that out love. I can't tell a word you're saying
08:35It's not. I'll go downstairs. I'll put the kettle on and then I need you to tell me everything
08:41Like why they suspended you in the first place
08:44Okay now do you think it's a lot I mean
08:58Okay now
09:00What are these?
09:02Homewares yeah, and I had a bit of a b&q face. I've got quite a lot of these extendable magnetic pens
09:08So they're like for getting things down the back of radiators
09:11They're like look
09:13Oh
09:15What about these?
09:17Mmm body jewels
09:19Yeah, I don't know what that was about
09:21And they're the
09:23printer cartridges
09:25That's why I was suspended
09:27Because there's loads of them
09:29Yeah, 28
09:30We don't have a printer
09:31No it's not
09:35It's just like
09:37Doing it
09:39It makes me feel
09:41I don't know
09:45Like
09:47Special
09:53What?
09:55You're not at work
09:57She's told me, Lee
09:59Everything, haven't you?
10:00Well
10:01What?
10:02About the...
10:03He knows that I've been suspended and that I've been stealing from work
10:05Yeah
10:07Where you been?
10:09Ran
10:10Ran?
10:11Yes
10:13You alright?
10:14Yeah, I'm alright, yeah, yeah?
10:15I'm alright, yeah
10:16You alright?
10:17I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:18I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:19I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:21I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:22I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:23I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:25I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:26I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:28I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:29I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:31I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:32I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:33I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:35I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:36I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:37I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:39I'm gonna put the kettle on
10:40So stupid
10:44So stupid.
10:57I was doing so well.
11:00I'm basically a paralegal.
11:01I do more work than half of the solicitors there, but now...
11:05Oh, yeah, that's the night of the round table.
11:09I don't know why. I don't know.
11:14I'm sorry, I'm such a fake.
11:15You're not cursed. Don't say that.
11:18You've got a mental health thingy.
11:21Probably because your mum's a psychopath, to be honest.
11:24And actually, they shouldn't be firing you for an actual manageable...
11:32What?
11:35Let's do it.
11:36Get your fucking shoes on.
11:40Aisha, I need to hold the floor. I'll be there an hour.
11:43This is jokes, man. I'm on my own here.
11:46I don't know how them tills work.
11:48Yeah, well, maybe now will be a good time to...
11:50How do you know how the tills work?
11:50Gun!
11:51Go, go, go, go. Sorry.
11:53I can't slow down. If I slow down, I won't do it.
11:55Yeah, sorry.
11:56Lip up!
11:57Oh, right there.
11:58I'm so dry. You're making me nervous.
11:59That's what Deborah Meadon feels like every single day.
12:02It's so stressful.
12:03I fucking love it.
12:05You're all right.
12:08Come on!
12:09No!
12:09Let's get help.
12:10No!
12:19No!
12:19No!
12:20No!
12:20No!
12:21No!
12:21No.
12:21No!
12:22No!
12:22No!
12:23No!
12:23I can't help.
12:24No!
12:25No!
12:34Fuck off.
12:51Are they expecting you?
12:52They're not, Becky, no.
12:54Well, that shouldn't still work, should it?
12:55I need you to sign in.
12:56No, he's with me.
12:57No, he needs the lanyard.
12:59Just through him.
12:59Just through him.
13:00Just through him.
13:00Just through him.
13:00No, don't you dare call security, Becky.
13:04Don't you dare.
13:05Darryl, Darryl, I might need you.
13:25Let's have it, you cunt!
13:31Who the fuck are you?
13:33Jesus Christ!
13:34No, he's a skinny belt and a loincloth.
13:36Now, who are you?
13:37All right, all right.
13:37All right, I'm Lee.
13:38I'm Glenn's brother.
13:39Why didn't you say that, you dickhead?
13:41What did you hit me with?
13:42Oh, it's a chicken, innit?
13:44Who the fuck are you?
13:46Hey, Sue.
13:48Pleasure.
13:49And if anyone asks, they gave me a key
13:51so I can come and go as I please, all right?
13:53Yeah, whatever.
13:55I've got to go.
13:58Fuck.
13:59The bag.
14:02Oh, my God, I'm shaking.
14:04I can feel my arse vibrate.
14:06You got my cue card?
14:07There's nothing on them, love.
14:08Yeah, I know.
14:09They're just a power prop, aren't they, Glenn?
14:10God, get with it.
14:11Door opening.
14:16Sorry.
14:22Sue?
14:23Don't answer the phone.
14:25Do not answer that fucking phone.
14:27Hello?
14:28Glenn, no, he's at work at the moment.
14:29We'll sit back.
14:31Oh, the other Mr. Campbell, yeah.
14:33You must mean Lee.
14:40Fuck.
14:42Mark Rayner.
14:43He's the one that gave me the suspension.
14:46Little smirk on his face when he did it.
14:48Well, I am going to march into his office
14:50and I am going to say,
14:52Mark, you...
14:54are a turd.
14:56Well, I'm not sure I'll get your job back, love.
14:58No, well, I'm just pumping myself up all the time.
15:00Glenn, work with me here, okay?
15:02I'm going to go in there
15:03and I'm going to say,
15:04Mark, you thought you could push me out.
15:08And you thought you were better than me.
15:11But the truth is, Mark,
15:13you are a worm.
15:15You are a tiny little worm boy
15:18underneath my shoe, Mark.
15:20And I...
15:21What?
15:22What is wrong with you?
15:23I...
15:24I...
15:25I'll take the next one.
15:34I suppose, if we're being honest,
15:41I...
15:41I think I quite like it
15:44when you talk to me like Mark from HR.
15:49Change of plan.
15:50You're reimbursing for this one, mate.
15:53That one's not on me.
15:55Car keys.
15:56We off?
15:58Where are you going?
15:58Cos I could do with a lift into town.
16:00Opposite direction!
16:02812, is it?
16:02Cos I've got some business that way too.
16:04You looking for this?
16:11What's the magic word?
16:13Don't you fucking try me, girl.
16:15Charming.
16:17They struck me in the precinct.
16:18You've got to go that way.
16:20Oh, sorry.
16:21What the fuck do you want?
16:22There's something I need to say.
16:24It's rather pressing,
16:26so I've written it down.
16:27I have the cards here.
16:28Move your fucking card.
16:29Yes, well, if I could just read this first.
16:33Leave!
16:34Although it's been...
16:36But a few days
16:37from the moment we met.
16:39Oh, God!
16:48Fuck!
16:54Good job.
16:56What do you think, O'Day?
16:57Heaven!
16:57Sorry, but as I said,
17:00this is rather pressing.
17:04Fucking hell!
17:13Oops.
17:14I dropped my ring binder.
17:17That's a...
17:18a lever arch vival?
17:19Shh!
17:21Fetch.
17:23Oh.
17:27I didn't tell you to stand, did I?
17:38Hmm.
17:38Don't make me cross.
17:40You little...
17:42twat.
17:43What?
17:44Sorry.
17:44Sorry, is that not?
17:45Is that...
17:45Sorry.
17:46Sorry, sorry.
17:47Um...
17:48You...
17:49pathetic little man.
17:52Hmm.
17:52You've come in handy, you have.
17:55I'm up and down the age world like a blue-ass fly.
17:57Mother the bride.
17:58I've got a list of jobs as long as my tits.
18:00I'm DJing the wedding.
18:02Got to try out some kit.
18:03Take her left ear.
18:05Who are you, then?
18:06I'm Lee's friend.
18:08And Glenn's boss, but mostly Lee's friend.
18:11That's when blokes have friends, innit?
18:13Like Michael Ball and Alfie Bo.
18:14Thanks, Paul.
18:30Hello, Jan.
18:31Looking for something?
18:33Oh, my God.
18:34Hmm.
18:36Disgusting, isn't he?
18:37Oh!
18:38Fuck!
18:42Right, we're here.
18:44Get out now.
18:47All right.
18:50Lively, darling, yeah?
18:55Ta-da!
18:56I want you out and all.
18:58But I haven't...
18:58Maybe another time, yeah?
19:00I'll just spin through it.
19:02Dear Lee, though it's been but a few days from the moment we met,
19:08I've felt...
19:09I've felt an overwhelming sense of peace.
19:12A peace.
19:16Lights of which you never...
19:19Oh.
19:19No, no, no.
19:23This has got me fucking back.
19:27Fuck!
19:29Keep moving.
19:30Oh, piss off, Daryl.
19:31Your jumper's inside and out.
19:33Oh, do you know what, Glenn?
19:34I've been thinking, actually.
19:36Fuck this place.
19:38I can get another job easy.
19:39Maybe even full paralegal.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:41Castor, he...
19:42I didn't even tell you.
19:44I got the promotion.
19:46What?
19:46I got it, yeah.
19:47I was just thinking everything happened.
19:48I didn't even tell you.
19:49I know, I know.
19:50I had to go, yeah.
19:52Bye, twats!
19:53Where's your manager?
20:10Tell him I want a test drive.
20:11Er, he's on lunch.
20:12I can't really do...
20:14Look, son.
20:15I might be dropping a grand on these decks.
20:17A tuna baguette can wait.
20:18Keeks himself wrote,
20:21Truth is beauty,
20:22and beauty is truth.
20:25Well, who am I to scorn such words?
20:28Here.
20:29I bought me own USB, mate.
20:31There's a few tracks I want to try out.
20:32All right?
20:33Oi, topknot.
20:35Get the lights.
20:37So you got the wrong bag.
20:43One, two, one, two.
20:44One, two.
20:45One, two, one, two.
20:48Ladies and gentlemen,
20:49the bride and groom.
20:52First evening,
20:53this is your big day.
20:57Everything you want to say,
20:58so bloody hard for.
21:00Lee,
21:01I've been living a lie,
21:03running from the truth,
21:05but now I see myself for who I really am.
21:09Because that's what it's all about.
21:11Family.
21:12And now,
21:12I think I see a way through,
21:14a way to put things right.
21:16The family looks out for each other.
21:19Always.
21:20I felt something, Lee.
21:22Something new,
21:23and maybe,
21:24just maybe.
21:29You felt it too.
21:33Look at this one, Tanya.
21:36Boom, boom, boom.
21:37Now let me.
21:37Right, Glenn,
21:42we are celebrating.
21:43Yeah.
21:43Yeah?
21:44First up,
21:45I want to go Trisha's.
21:46You want to go Trisha's?
21:46Yeah.
21:47We can go Trisha's, yeah.
21:48And then cocktails,
21:49like fancy ones.
21:51Yeah?
21:51That's not going to break the bank,
21:52is it?
21:53Go on,
21:53check the savings account.
21:54All right.
21:54One moment,
21:55call up.
21:55Drum roll, please.
21:56Oh, my God.
21:58This is it.
22:00Yeah,
22:00I think everything's falling into place for us, Glenn.
22:03And do you know what?
22:04Actually,
22:05from here on in,
22:06I think everything is going to be absolutely...
22:09What?
22:10I know it is.
22:12It's the out of levels.
22:13Back in the room.
22:15Ready to rock the world with the moon.
22:17So I hope you can stand the vibration.
22:19Because we're about to rock the entire nation.
22:22All right?
22:23Here we go.
22:23I said, boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:26We oh.
22:27I said, boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:30We oh.
22:31I said, boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:34We oh.
22:34I said, boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:37We oh.
22:38Boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:41We oh.
22:42I said, boom, boom, boom, no, baby, I say, we oh.
22:45We oh.
22:45We oh.
22:53You
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