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With triplets, even the simplest tasks are 3 times harder!
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00:01So this week, I'm in Newbury Park, California,
00:03because there is a family who desperately need my help.
00:06Why don't we take a look?
00:09Hi, we're the Heredia family, and I'm Joe.
00:11And I'm Chris, and we have four kids.
00:13We had tried unsuccessfully for five years to get pregnant,
00:16so we did artificial insemination,
00:18and on our first try, we had Brandon.
00:20Brandon's four.
00:22Two years later, we thought it would be great.
00:24We'll have one more baby.
00:25We did artificial insemination.
00:27Again, we got three babies.
00:29We have triplets.
00:30They were born two months early.
00:32Taylor, Samantha, and Ryan, and they all just turned two.
00:35I'm losing Taylor.
00:36Brandon, wait there. Don't cross the street.
00:38Four kids under the age of five.
00:40They've certainly got their hands full.
00:42I work for a city, and I issue building permits.
00:46I am an English teacher.
00:47I teach ninth and eleventh grade,
00:49and when I get home, I have a lot of little people
00:52who have a lot of demands that need to be met.
00:54Oh, Ryan, then leave your brother alone.
00:58The simplest things are three times as hard with triplets.
01:01It's three times the trouble.
01:03Stop.
01:05Triplets hitting the terrible twos.
01:08That's too frightening.
01:11Now that they're two, I worry the most about losing somebody,
01:14about not keeping up with them, about them running loose.
01:17Samantha, come here.
01:19I'm not so much afraid at home, but it's when we go out somewhere.
01:23I was just going to say, I hope you have one,
01:25because I only have three.
01:26And they keep going and going and going,
01:28and my biggest fear is someone getting hit by a car.
01:31And wait, please.
01:35There's just the physicality of trying to round up four kids.
01:38It's a mess.
01:40This is dangerous, actually.
01:41Mum learning how to handle all four kids is going to be a must.
01:49Don't start copying each other, please.
01:51Dinner time when I set them down is chaotic.
01:54Hands on your own plate, please.
01:55No.
01:56Hands on your own plate.
01:57I have to manage someone usually throwing a fit.
02:01Don't start.
02:08I feel like a waitress or a maid.
02:10And the worst part is, is they don't even eat the food.
02:12Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:14Whew.
02:16Brandon is a really sweet kid and a really great big brother,
02:19but he's also a four-year-old and wants a ton of attention.
02:22Brandon, that wasn't nice.
02:26He sometimes will throw a tantrum, hurt somebody just in the middle,
02:30and wants somebody just so he can get our attention.
02:32Don't poke your brother.
02:34Get off your sister.
02:35Brandon.
02:37Brandon.
02:38Stop it.
02:39And I think that's what he's really striving for,
02:41is that attention, because we pay so much to the triplets.
02:45Look, Daddy.
02:47Look.
02:49I mean, they don't get to spend any time together
02:51because the triplets are so demanding,
02:53and it's a shame, really.
02:55It's a pretty hectic, pretty chaotic household.
02:58You guys have got to be back in the stroller.
03:00This is the parking lot.
03:03Anything to make the day a little easier,
03:05a little less chaotic, a little more normal would be great.
03:09Of course Mom and Dad are exhausted.
03:11They've got four little ones.
03:12Who wouldn't be?
03:15Super Nanny, please come help us.
03:17We have a four-year-old and three two-year-olds.
03:20We really need some help and advice.
03:22Please help.
03:23Hold on, Mom and Dad.
03:25I am on my way, and we're going to get things sorted.
03:27See you soon.
03:37Hi.
03:38Hi.
03:39Nice to meet you.
03:40Jo Frost.
03:41Christy, hi.
03:42It's nice to meet you too.
03:43She comes in, and her hair is up, and she's in a suit,
03:45and there's something intimidating about a British accent.
03:47It's absolutely nerve-racking.
03:49Yes.
03:50Hi.
03:51I'm Jo also.
03:52Hi.
03:53Jo meet Jo.
03:54Hi.
03:55I wasn't there long before Dad left for work.
03:59Mom wanted to show me her biggest fear.
04:01So I was thinking about maybe taking the four of them for a walk,
04:04so you can see how that goes for me.
04:09Is that problematic for you?
04:10It is.
04:11Come on, Ryan.
04:12Are we ready?
04:13Oh, come on.
04:16No, we're not going in the street.
04:19You coming?
04:21Sammy, are you coming?
04:23Mm-mm.
04:24Kids go off in four different directions,
04:26then they want to be picked up.
04:28Come on.
04:29I can't carry you all.
04:30I just can't.
04:31Come on, let's walk.
04:32Sammy.
04:33Uh-uh, Sammy.
04:34Stay.
04:35It was clear to see that Mom was struggling
04:37when out with all four kids.
04:38Sammy, where are you going?
04:39Come on.
04:40Brandon's lagging behind me.
04:42Samantha was up on someone else's property.
04:45Taylor decides to copy that.
04:47A lot of times when I go out,
04:48I think people are looking at me like I'm another Octo Mom.
04:51Samantha, over here, please.
04:56Come on.
04:57Sammy, stand up.
04:59Taylor, whoever you are, stand up.
05:01And this is as far as we get,
05:03and I turn around and go home,
05:04because I can't chase them all day.
05:07When I started to talk to Mom,
05:09Samantha head off in another direction.
05:11Head on to a truck.
05:14Samantha, come over here with JoJo.
05:18On my hand.
05:20On my hand.
05:21Thank you, Sammy.
05:22I'm glad Jo could see how hard it is
05:24for me to take the kids out by myself.
05:26I'd like to be able to go out without losing a child,
05:28or without being completely embarrassed.
05:31OK.
05:32Mom's so stressed out that she can't even manage
05:34to take those four kids 50 yards beyond her own house.
05:38This I will need to speak to her about.
05:40What is it that you actually need?
05:42I need a clone of me.
05:44I need another person here helping me do this.
05:48I can't stop for two seconds.
05:50But the reality is there's not another one of you.
05:53Yeah.
05:54I'm asking you to think about yourself.
05:55I need to be able to breathe.
05:57I need to, I can't have the floor like this
06:00with them running around.
06:03And that, for me, that's, it's like a breathing issue.
06:05I need to have it cleaned up so that if they're going to run,
06:08no one's going to slip, no one's going to fall,
06:10no one's going to get hurt.
06:11I think society tells mothers
06:14that you have to have your house a certain way
06:16and your kids have to behave a certain way.
06:18And if it is not that way in reality,
06:20then you're doing something wrong.
06:22And the fact that I already have multiples,
06:24I felt I had to step it up a notch.
06:26And that if the minute I showed this was difficult
06:29or there was a, I was having some sort of problem with it,
06:32that I would be judged really harshly.
06:34This is really you putting pressure on yourself then,
06:37what I'm hearing.
06:38That's been my entire life.
06:39Your own perception of what you think people are thinking about you.
06:41Yes.
06:42So you've always been hard on yourself?
06:44Always.
06:45I've always worried about what other people think.
06:47Being judged that you're not doing your job properly?
06:51Yes.
06:52I don't know how to fix that.
06:55I mean, you are who you are.
07:01Um, I don't, you can't control that.
07:06How, who you are inside, how you feel.
07:09Whose expectations are you all living up to?
07:12I don't know.
07:13If there's a person in my life that I want to be the most proud of me,
07:20like, it's a big deal to me, it's my dad.
07:23All children want to please their parents.
07:25But mum has gone beyond wanting her dad to be proud of her.
07:30And it's causing a lot of difficulties.
07:32So this I will need to talk to her about.
07:34Later on in the afternoon, Ryan started throwing an absolute fit.
07:46Ryan, you can go play on the floor.
07:48But mum for the life of her couldn't figure out what it was all about.
07:53Okay, Ryan, what, being a mom in general is really tough.
07:58But when you have triplets, it's everything times three.
08:01Ryan, what, I honestly, I don't know what you want.
08:04You need to tell me what you want.
08:07No, then we have to put these away.
08:09Ryan, excuse me, Sammy.
08:13Excuse me, Sammy.
08:14I gotta go put your brother in his room.
08:16When Ryan screams like that, or really when any of them scream like that,
08:26I lose the ability to think clearly.
08:28I literally feel an inability to breathe almost.
08:33It's like an anxiety reaction, I guess.
08:35And I have to remove one of us from the situation.
08:40Where is he?
08:41He's in his room.
08:42Why?
08:43Because he's not calming down.
08:45I don't know what the problem is, and I need him to calm down
08:48so we can figure out what the problem is.
08:49And until he does, when I've got all of them on me like that
08:52and everyone starts screaming...
08:54Right.
08:55..it's a time out for me, I guess.
08:57But I need to get the situation quiet.
09:00The kids are acting out.
09:01Mum doesn't really know how to handle it.
09:04She's getting more stressed,
09:05and it's not a good situation for mother or child.
09:11Samantha, do you know where your nose is?
09:13Where's your nose?
09:14Where's your nose?
09:15Where's your nose?
09:16No.
09:17Where's your nose?
09:18Good girl.
09:19Hey!
09:20What are you doing?
09:22Dad arrived home when it was time for dinner.
09:25I don't know if it's...
09:27Yes, you do.
09:28It's cheese.
09:29No!
09:30It's cheese.
09:31I don't!
09:32Okay, well then you will sit down and not eat it.
09:33Fine.
09:34I know that a major issue for this family is getting their triplets to eat.
09:37So I was curious to see exactly how dinner time would go.
09:40But it didn't start off well.
09:42Brandon, Brandon, sit down please.
09:46Sit down.
09:47Brandon, you don't have to eat.
09:48You don't have to eat, but you need to sit down.
09:50Okay?
09:51Don't have to eat?
09:52I mean that's the whole point of dinner time, isn't it?
09:55And the other kids spent more time fussing and fidgeting around than eating.
09:59Come on.
10:00Here.
10:02Have some peas.
10:08That's okay, Brandon.
10:09You don't need to.
10:10I just want you to sit with us, please.
10:13It'll be like last night.
10:14I'll save their place and suddenly at 7 o'clock they'll be eating again.
10:17You don't put your drink in your food.
10:20Ryan, are you done?
10:23Okay, you're done.
10:24At the end of meal time, none of the kids had eaten much at all.
10:28So I can just look at...
10:29This is what we were left with, right?
10:30Yes.
10:31Happy with that?
10:32Oh, of course not.
10:33Joe?
10:34No, not at all.
10:36What are we looking for?
10:37Them to eat.
10:39At least some of it.
10:40This is a major concern because the triplets were born premature
10:44and they need to be able to eat as part of their growth.
10:49With mum at her wit's end and the kids not eating a nutritious meal,
10:53I've seen enough.
10:54I need to sit down and speak to these parents.
10:56You had one child and then along came another three.
10:59That's a handful to say the least.
11:02The fact is that you are both feeling the strain of it,
11:09but if things really don't get put into check,
11:12they're going to topple over.
11:14No.
11:15Mealtimes!
11:17I've seen a pigeon eat more.
11:20They don't even eat the portion sizes in front of them.
11:22Correct.
11:23Correct.
11:24But we need to keep them at the table and encourage them to continue eating.
11:28And right now there's been no endurance.
11:31So we need to hold it out.
11:32We need to push through all of that.
11:34Okay?
11:35All right.
11:36So let's move on to the next issue I want to talk about,
11:40and that's the word perfection.
11:43Apart from yourself, who's your hardest critic?
11:46The pressure stems in the desire for me to please my father,
11:49but it's not as though he's over at my house doing a lot of criticism.
11:56There are a lot of joking comments made that I think he doesn't realize probably
12:03how much they hurt or how much they affect me because I know he's joking.
12:13But I take it a little harder than I think he realizes.
12:17What are those things that he's unaware of?
12:20I don't think my dad really has an understanding of what it means
12:24to have a bunch of little kids around the house,
12:26let alone three of them all the same age.
12:28I just don't think he understands that.
12:30So that is something that I feel would be very healthy for you to resolve.
12:35Yeah.
12:37So you have your duties, your responsibilities,
12:42generally your outside and your inside.
12:45Well, it's time for me to tell you both there needs to be change.
12:48I believe that it's gone slack on your end and it's tightened up your end.
12:54Wouldn't you agree?
12:55To a point, I would say yes.
12:57My job is to make sure that that lawn is kept up or the weeds are down,
13:01so I don't become that house that everybody goes, oh, it's that house.
13:04In return, they could be turning around and saying,
13:06oh, and that's that dad that can't even handle his kids.
13:09And he's got triplets, you know, and your priority and your responsibilities
13:14are to step up every time when you're a father and you're raising four children.
13:19Okay.
13:20So the last thing I want to discuss are the triplets and their development.
13:24Because when we've been so used to dealing with them as a unit, as a package,
13:28what normally tends to happen is that parents forget that they're not one person.
13:34There's three individuals.
13:38Yeah, and that's the other thing with Brandon in the mix.
13:41I worry constantly about him feeling not as special.
13:46Because there's, on the one hand, there's something really special about being a triplet.
13:52And I just don't want Brandon to feel like he's left out of that.
13:56That's about what you guys do.
13:58There are things that I would like to do throughout our teaching
14:01that really brings home to him,
14:03I'm different because I am older and I can do things
14:07because I understand more and I can physically do more.
14:11So evolving Brandon would be a really big deal for him
14:15and would make life a lot easier for yourself as well.
14:18So we have gone through quite a few issues, things we do need to get on with.
14:24Any questions?
14:26No.
14:27Okay, well thank you very much.
14:35Mum's exhausted.
14:36And like a lot of mothers who have multiple children,
14:40you've got to be able to take the time when you can.
14:44But this mother doesn't, even when the kids are asleep.
14:47Sleepy time.
14:49Have a good sleep.
14:51Mum puts the triplets down every afternoon
14:53for a nap, which would give her an opportunity for some downtime.
14:56Can we just establish this is recharge time, okay?
15:00This is where we take a breather.
15:02It's a tough gig.
15:03Raising four kids under the age of five,
15:06she's going to have to give herself permission to recharge,
15:09to put her feet up for ten minutes.
15:14You're completely on the go when you've got multiple children.
15:17So when you see the opportunity to take a break, you've got to take it to keep yourself going.
15:23And that's exactly what I want mum to do every day.
15:26Is that pterodactyl?
15:27Pterodactyl.
15:28It was hard for me initially today, but I felt good about it.
15:32This is nice.
15:33I'm not going to be dreading the babies waking up because I've relaxed.
15:38It's fine.
15:39So will you give yourself this tomorrow?
15:41Yeah.
15:42And the next day, and the next, and the next.
15:44Great.
15:45That's what I want to hear.
15:46Having mum get more rest is just the first step.
15:49But we also need dad to lighten the load.
15:51So what I'm going to do is to make sure these house drawers can be divided equally.
15:58So we've got these duty cards.
16:00You've got to work with it when you've got four kids.
16:02So that's what we're going to do.
16:03So let's lay them out.
16:04When Joe first pulled out the cards, I was not very pleased.
16:08When I grew up, one of our jobs was housework.
16:11And we rotated that constantly.
16:14I thought I was done doing housework when I got married.
16:17Apparently not.
16:18So what we are going to do is work out who takes what so that we can change it up.
16:25Things need to change there and shape up very differently so that mum doesn't feel
16:30like she's doing most of that work.
16:32I can do the dusting.
16:33Okay.
16:34I think that would be very good to help out.
16:36Okay.
16:37I actually enjoy doing the laundry.
16:41I actually like this one.
16:44There's something, I guess it's that perfection thing.
16:47You know what?
16:48I want to try to do some grocery shopping.
16:49Fabulous.
16:50I think I could learn some more stuff and maybe try to feed the kids a little bit better
16:55than what we have or maybe change it up a little bit.
16:57All right.
16:58So let's lay down what you both have separately.
17:01It just was nice to have a different look at our responsibilities.
17:06He absolutely can still mow the lawn.
17:08Not pushing the lawn mower.
17:09So any questions on these?
17:12You're going to have to leave me a note every morning to remind me to feed the doc.
17:17Dad was more than willing to do his share.
17:20But let's face it, it's yet to be seen.
17:22All right.
17:23Well done.
17:24You both did good.
17:25Let's go see the kids.
17:26All right.
17:27Now that mum is more decompressed, I believe that she'll have energy for a real challenge.
17:32Sit down.
17:33Hands on your own plate, please.
17:34No.
17:35Dinner time.
17:39Mum and dad's first priority has got to be to encourage these kids to eat what's
17:48in front of them.
17:49Keep giving the children praise for how well they're doing.
17:52Well done, Samantha.
17:53You're eating your macaroni.
17:55That's good.
17:56Now let's have a little bit more chicken.
17:57You're seeing and you're acknowledging and you're praising.
18:01Mmm, yummy.
18:02Way to go, Taylor.
18:03Good job.
18:04Good job, Ryan.
18:05Have some more macaroni.
18:07Encouragement did stretch a little bit with these kids when it came to eating.
18:11But sure enough, they dug their heels in and didn't want to eat again.
18:15You need to eat some more macaroni.
18:18We do not do that.
18:19No.
18:20Just take a bite.
18:21Eat some more.
18:22Get the spoon out of your hair.
18:24Sit down.
18:25You should...
18:26Just say no.
18:27You'll have to sit there.
18:28Sit.
18:29Usually mum and dad would have given up by now.
18:31But they stuck to their guns.
18:32And I tell you what, they got these kids eating again.
18:34Open your mouth and it goes.
18:36Yay!
18:37Yeah.
18:38Hopefully the kids will eat a little bit more and they can grow a little bit bigger.
18:43Lovely turnaround there.
18:44Lovely turnaround there with Ryan.
18:46You're persevering through.
18:47You're following through with it, which is fabulous.
18:50What we are seeing is two parents who are beginning to understand now why their children have behaved the way they have.
18:57And what they need to do in order to change that.
19:00Very slowly but surely, we are getting results.
19:03There you go.
19:04There you go.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Good job.
19:07High five.
19:08Cheers.
19:09Yeah.
19:10The next day I arrived and things were going pretty good.
19:17Where's Jo?
19:18Mark it.
19:19Ah, look at that.
19:20The duty card's working already.
19:22Yeah.
19:23Love it.
19:24Yeah.
19:25The rest of the morning I set up a progress chart for the triplets.
19:29This is for you to acknowledge each child separately and how far they're coming along.
19:36Okay.
19:37Helping mum use her voice more effectively.
19:39Samantha, stop now.
19:41I know you get it.
19:42I get it.
19:43You just need to use it.
19:44And teaching dad how to do a proper time out.
19:46Take him straight to the time out and explain why he's there, okay?
19:50But that afternoon we faced what mum was dreading, taking all four kids out in public by herself.
19:59So, we're going to get the stroller out first.
20:04Okay.
20:05We're going to get Ryan and Taylor into the stroller.
20:09Okay.
20:10Brandon and Samantha are going to hold on to the sides of the stroller.
20:14Okay.
20:15Alright?
20:16And then we'll take it from there.
20:17Okay.
20:18Sounds good.
20:19I explained to her the importance of getting out the stroller, making sure that the kids were near her.
20:24When you're telling them something...
20:26Brandon, stand on this side now.
20:28Stop it.
20:29This is exactly how it is.
20:30Firm, okay?
20:31Samantha, I need you hanging on right there.
20:34The natural thing to do when you head for a park is to go straight to the playground.
20:38And we were going to do that, but my way.
20:41So, we are walking past that area because there's going to be times when they're going to see things and you're going to have to walk past them.
20:48But they still need to be able to take instruction and hold on and listen.
20:52I thought that was cruel and unusual punishment for Brandon, but I got why we were doing it.
20:58Keep going.
20:59Keep going.
21:00Keep going.
21:01Keep going.
21:02Keep going.
21:03And when they did finally stop at the playground, Mum gave them some ground rules.
21:12When you get to the slides area, we're going to tell Brandon that it's time that we can go off and play now, but he has to stay in the playground area.
21:21You are going to play in the play area here, but you are not leaving this play area.
21:26You stay on the dirt area right here.
21:29All right?
21:30I want to go play.
21:31You may go play, but you're not leaving the area.
21:33Go play.
21:34She didn't ask the children.
21:36She told the children where necessary.
21:38Woo!
21:39And before long, they were having fun.
21:42And she felt like she could take a breather for a moment and she was very pleased with herself.
21:46Hi, Brandon.
21:47Hi.
21:48Ryan.
21:49Ryan.
21:50And then Ryan started to run.
21:52Ryan, come here.
21:55Come here now.
21:58And there and then for the first time, I saw Mum command authority.
22:03Right now, Ryan.
22:04Come here.
22:06Okay.
22:07Stop for a minute.
22:09Just tell him.
22:10Turn around and tell him.
22:11You stay here.
22:12Otherwise, Mummy will have to put you back in the stroller.
22:14Okay?
22:15Ryan.
22:16Ryan.
22:17You stay here.
22:18Okay.
22:19Or Mummy will put you back in the stroller.
22:21You stay here and play.
22:24Good job.
22:25Nice.
22:26It was fantastic.
22:27I felt good about it.
22:29Physically, I think I was standing up a little taller.
22:31I am here.
22:32That's great.
22:33I am a lot less fearful of taking my family out.
22:40Let's go park.
22:41Let's go.
22:42Are you done?
22:43I felt exhausted when I was done with the park, but I felt, I also felt more confident.
22:48Really good first step.
22:49Really good.
22:50Really good.
22:51I've seen people do worse with one kid.
22:52So you should be proud, okay?
22:53Okay.
22:54All right.
23:00Wow.
23:01Wow.
23:02Come here, Brandon.
23:03I believe that Joe and Brandon need some special time together, even though the triplets demand
23:09so much time.
23:10I have here a range of tropical vegetation for you guys.
23:16So I went out into the garden and told Joe and Brandon that they would be planting today.
23:21And Brandon's face lit up as if he saw Santa Claus.
23:24He's like, flowers.
23:25Wow.
23:26Brandon and Dad's patch.
23:29I was very surprised and ecstatic at the same time.
23:32You have your watering can.
23:34And you're going to need your gardening gloves as well.
23:37Perfect, huh?
23:38It's very unfair to him that he doesn't get as much attention as I think he should.
23:43Hey, happy gardening the pair of you.
23:48Look at the conversation.
23:49It was so cute to stand back and watch Brandon.
23:52Wow, that's a good one, Dad.
23:54Taking the weeds from Joe and the little thank you daddies.
23:58Thank you, Daddy.
23:59It was so sweet.
24:00You want to try this?
24:01Yeah.
24:02Okay.
24:03I got it.
24:05You got it?
24:06Good job.
24:10You want to plant this one right there?
24:12It was nice to have Brandon with me working on the planter.
24:15And it was just our quality time.
24:17Good job.
24:18Brandon, look what you've done with Daddy.
24:20Good.
24:21Look.
24:22What I want to create is special moments between father and son.
24:24Gardening for Brandon and Dad brings them closer together.
24:28Did you have fun gardening with Daddy today?
24:31Yeah.
24:32Would you like to do it again with Daddy?
24:34Uh-huh.
24:35Well, that's a good thing then.
24:36Yeah.
24:37I'm going to put it right here, okay?
24:38Brandon and Dad's patch.
24:39I am leaving for several days now.
24:52I'm leaving you with techniques and it's going to be your choice whether you put them into
24:57play or not.
24:58If you are just consistent and you follow through, everything that was an issue before I arrived
25:04is not going to be an issue anymore.
25:06When Joe leaves, I'm worried that the other things are not going to go the way it should
25:12go.
25:13Remember this.
25:14Everything you do with your kids is about quality of time, not quantity.
25:19The truth is you hold the reins.
25:21So I look forward to seeing you in a couple of days.
25:23Okay.
25:24So take care.
25:25Thank you, you too.
25:26Look after each other.
25:27Look after your gorgeous family.
25:28Okay.
25:29And I'll see you then.
25:31Bye-bye.
25:32I really do hope that these parents remember everything they've been taught.
25:35I want Mum to keep her expectations in check and I want Dad to spend more time with Brandon.
25:40There's a lot at stake here.
25:41I've been away from the Heredia family for several days.
25:51I really hope that they've kept themselves on track.
25:54Are we ready?
25:55Yeah.
25:56Yeah.
25:57That was very convincing.
25:59Very convincing there, Joe.
26:01Mum's dinner.
26:07I'm all done.
26:08All done.
26:10Woo!
26:11Yay, Sammy!
26:12Yay!
26:13I want ketchup.
26:14I want ketchup.
26:15I want ketchup.
26:16I can't get up right now because Ryan will leave.
26:19I want ketchup.
26:20Eat the macaroni.
26:21You don't need ketchup for macaroni.
26:23Brandon, you're a big boy.
26:24Just yell.
26:25Don't.
26:26Get your fingers out of your food.
26:28You use utensils.
26:29There.
26:32Nice job, Sammy.
26:35Stop yelling, please.
26:36Brandon's behaviour, without a doubt, needs to be dealt with.
26:41Yeah.
26:42It creates that environment that's so noisy and disruptive that actually it doesn't even allow the other three to just push through dinner and enjoy it.
26:51When he shows you the smallest beginnings of trying to disrupt lunch time or dinner time, cut straight in with a warning.
27:01Behave yourself.
27:02Sit down at the table and eat your dinner.
27:04Otherwise you're going straight on that time out.
27:06And you will remove him from his time out into the next room so that then you can concentrate on the triplets.
27:12Because they've been doing really well and you guys have been doing marvellous.
27:16So don't allow Brandon to sabotage that.
27:19Okay.
27:20Dad and Brandon.
27:22Coming, Brandon?
27:23Yeah.
27:24Brandon, slow, slow.
27:25Got to make sure the plants get plenty of water.
27:27Brandon, you're going to hold this?
27:29Yeah.
27:30Okay, pick it up.
27:31No, no, no.
27:32Over here, by the house.
27:33Can you get it?
27:34Yeah, we want it to grow big and strong.
27:41What did you learn from that experience?
27:43That he actually wants to do a lot more and giving him the opportunity to do stuff and trusting that he can do it.
27:50It's very reassuring.
27:52So you gave him the opportunity.
27:53Yeah.
27:54And he has shown you that he is more than capable of being able to do that.
27:57That's a major lesson.
27:59Mum comes home.
28:04What, mama?
28:07What?
28:08Hi.
28:09Okay, okay.
28:10Calm down.
28:11Calm down.
28:12It's okay.
28:13First of all, whoa.
28:15Stop.
28:16No, no, no.
28:17Ryan, take that.
28:18Brandon, look at me.
28:19Look at me.
28:20Stop.
28:21Stop.
28:22No.
28:23Stop.
28:24Stop.
28:25Stop.
28:26You do not yell at mommy like that.
28:28No.
28:29No.
28:30You're not listening.
28:31Stand up.
28:32We're not doing hugs until you listen.
28:33You don't yell at mommy like that.
28:34Okay.
28:35I'm glad the way you handled that.
28:39You really did take control of dealing with Brandon's behavior very quickly.
28:43He wanted to feel that he was getting in his time with you and that he wouldn't be swamped
28:48by the triplets taking all your time and attention.
28:51And the more Brandon becomes reassured that when you do come home, you will be giving him
28:56that attention.
28:57You'll actually see that behavior disperse altogether.
28:59Okay.
29:00This is all about the walk.
29:02Samantha, wait.
29:04We've got to hold hands.
29:05We're going to stop at the curb.
29:06Samantha, now.
29:07Let's go.
29:08Let's go.
29:09Brandon, you've got to stop at the sidewalk.
29:11Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
29:13Brandon, stop.
29:14Ryan.
29:15Look at triplets.
29:18Brandon, if you run, they will run.
29:21Stop running.
29:22Samantha, come over here now.
29:26Okay.
29:27What we've seen here is you guys just take it to another level.
29:34Instead of going out with the strollers, you guys decided to do hand and foot.
29:39This is what I would say to you in order to get this polished up so that you're feeling
29:45good about just walking without the strollers.
29:48If you decide that they can let go of your hand, come down to their level, give them eye
29:54contact and say, you've got to walk beside Mummy and Daddy, okay?
29:58If you tell them to do that and they run off, you can then give them a chance and say to
30:03them, if you run off, you'll have to hold Mummy and Daddy's hand again.
30:07Are we worried about being judged?
30:09I, I, slight.
30:11Yeah.
30:12But not what it, not as bad as it used to be now.
30:14You know what?
30:15It's a process.
30:16It takes time and you're on the right track now.
30:18So we will continue to do things this afternoon.
30:21There are a couple of things that I feel are necessary.
30:24Christie's still self-conscious when she goes out with the kids.
30:27And Mum and Dad do need to learn together how to take these kids to different places.
30:31So it is something that I am going to need to address before I leave.
30:35Okay.
30:40I've seen some good progress with this family when it's come to sitting down at
30:44mealtimes.
30:45But the bigger test really is for them to feel comfortable in going outside their household
30:50and taking it to a restaurant.
30:52All right, who's hungry?
30:53I am.
30:54Very.
30:55All right, good.
30:56So we're taking it to another level.
30:57We're going to the restaurant with the kids.
30:58It's been about six months since we went out together as a family.
31:01My first thought was, what restaurant?
31:03This better be super-duper kid-friendly, have a ton of noise in it, possibly a mouse character
31:10running around.
31:11Like, where are we going?
31:12Um, I think they have a booster seat for you.
31:15Brennan, you're going to be on the other side.
31:17Mum's so worried about everybody else on the outside, and I actually want this lady
31:22to start becoming comfortable about the decisions she makes as a parent.
31:28There you go.
31:30What is that?
31:31Is that a bee?
31:32First the kids were colouring nicely whilst they were waiting for their food.
31:36But that didn't last long.
31:38They got bored after a while of doing colouring, and they just needed to eat.
31:43But the food wasn't on the table yet, and we saw Ryan start to get louder and louder.
31:48We need to wait for lunch.
31:54No.
31:55Ryan.
31:56Ryan.
31:57Ryan was completely flipping out.
31:59He seemed to have lost all control.
32:02And then Taylor started losing control.
32:07I needed to remind Mum that she has an option.
32:10If he continues to scream, scream, scream, and you're like, oh, this is too much, pick him up, take him outside, calm him down a little bit and bring him back in again, you know?
32:19Ryan was setting off the other triplets.
32:21If Mum and Dad can sort out Ryan, then they can be on top of the whole situation.
32:26Car!
32:27Yes, the car.
32:30Give me the plate.
32:31Oh, here it comes!
32:32Where'd my pizza go?
32:33It's coming!
32:35Once they got the food, they really sat, they ate, and they ate a lot.
32:40Daddy?
32:41Want more pizza?
32:42Yeah, finish that piece.
32:44I guess he was hungry, my goodness.
32:46I know.
32:47I absolutely think that all the work at the dining room table really mattered at the restaurant today.
32:51I think it really paid off.
32:53Good job, Ryan.
32:54You guys are doing such a good job.
32:56Very nice, Ryan.
32:57It felt really nice and kind of relaxing.
33:00You are eating all your food.
33:01I'm so proud of you.
33:03All your food and then some.
33:05The kids ate really well.
33:07And Mum realized that how the kids were behaving earlier was nothing that Mum needed to feel embarrassed about.
33:13If there are some kids screaming at the table, then there are some kids screaming at the table.
33:18But we're going to do this and we're going to do it as a family and it'll get better.
33:22Well done to the pair of you.
33:24You should be proud.
33:28I've got a big surprise for Christy.
33:30She told me that in her father's eyes there was a lot of pressure with regards to how she raised her triplets.
33:35There are a lot of joking comments made that I think he doesn't realize probably how much they hurt.
33:44So I've brought her father over so they can have a conversation and resolve this.
33:49I have brought you both here because I actually have made wonderful progress with Christy.
34:06But when we touched on you, she became very emotional and cried because she never felt that she was able to get your approval.
34:19That's what I want to talk about today.
34:22He had certain expectations that she felt she could never meet.
34:25And so she's grown up as an adult being quite hard on herself.
34:28I get that I live in a family of men who have really high expectations and who make a lot of jokes.
34:36But I think sometimes you don't realize how much the jokes hurt when it's about my family.
34:44And I think as much as I go along with the jokes and as much as I joke back with it,
34:51that it's, it just has, I'm really sensitive to it, I guess.
34:57And it wasn't something that I had really, um, I don't think I really realized how much it was affecting me until this happened.
35:08She's always tried to please me.
35:10And so if I let her feel that perhaps something wasn't quite right, then that probably really hit her harder than either one of us realized that it did.
35:18I do a damn good job. I've got four fabulous kids and I work full time and, and I think I'm doing a really good job.
35:28And, and I know that you know that.
35:31What do you see Christie do that actually you admire?
35:35Well, it's just amazing that she holds down a job and comes home every night and has to work with the four kids.
35:40And, and they're demanding. They're very demanding.
35:43I mean, it's, it's a lot of work and I have a great deal of respect and love for her that she does it.
35:47And does it as well as she does it.
35:49Yeah.
35:50I think it was great to hear my dad say that he was so proud of me.
35:53Now the whole world has heard him say that he thinks I'm doing a good job.
35:56And that's nice. It's sweet.
35:58So where do we go from here?
35:59I acknowledge that I'm a little sensitive to things.
36:02Dad acknowledges it and stops the joking so much.
36:06This is about a woman feeling confident and making decisions that she's happy with.
36:10She feels good about what she does and so doesn't need the approval of everybody else.
36:17I love you.
36:18I love you too baby girl.
36:19I love you too baby girl.
36:26Jojo's going to go home now.
36:28Can I kiss?
36:29You're going to give me a kiss?
36:30Was that a kiss for me?
36:31Is that a kiss?
36:32Mwah!
36:34Mwah!
36:35I have really felt very content with the time that I have spent with the Heredia family.
36:39This really has been about practical parenting.
36:42Say bye bye Jojo.
36:44On a whole, I would grade this family an A for their efforts.
36:48You shy away from kisses don't you?
36:50Now these parents are both feeling very confident, enjoying what they're doing every day.
36:55To me that's what it's all about.
36:57So I'm a happy nanny.
36:58I leave them very differently to when I walked in.
37:01I like the fact they're all on the floor going la la la la la.
37:04When I first arrived they were like ahhh.
37:06Since Jo gave us the tools to calm everybody down.
37:09Thank you very much.
37:10Take care, you're welcome.
37:11The house has become a lot quieter and a lot more peaceful.
37:13Thanks so much.
37:14I'm feeling a lot better about myself since Jo's come here.
37:18I feel so much more confident and so much less worried about what people are going to
37:23think and what people are going to say and I'm doing what I need to do and it feels good.
37:43Thank you very much.
37:44Thank you very much.
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