- hace 5 meses
KAOS kidnaps the Chief and prepare to give him mind-control surgery. Max pretends to be a doctor in order to try to free the Chief from Harvey Satan. Len Lesser (Seinfeld's Uncle Leo) has a small role as a KAOS agent. The title is based upon the book, film, and television series, Peyton Place.
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00:00Take it easy, Chief. Now watch your step.
00:10Someday, Max. Someday I'd like to leave my apartment by the front door.
00:14These precautions are necessary, Chief. After all, you're a very important man,
00:17and we never know what the enemy is going to try and do next.
00:20I suppose you're right, but somehow or another it doesn't seem dignified.
00:24Security first, Chief.
00:26Anyway, I certainly hope you have a nice vacation.
00:30You've got a good rest coming to you.
00:31Thank you, Max.
00:32I'll see you on Monday, Chief.
00:33You sure you've got everything under control?
00:34Don't worry about a thing, Chief. You can count on me.
00:45Oh, I'm sorry about that, Chief.
00:47Never mind, Max. Just put the bags in the trunk.
00:50Right, Chief. No sooner said than done.
00:52Ah, Chief, if you've got a key...
00:59What's the matter, Chief? Can't you get it started?
01:02Doesn't seem to turn over.
01:06Well, now, I don't intend to be an expert on these things,
01:09but I'm willing to make a large wager that I know just where the trouble is.
01:14Where, Max?
01:15The engine.
01:17Good thinking. You want to take a look there?
01:18Where?
01:20In the engine.
01:35Look there. Try her now.
01:40Max! Max!
01:42Oh!
01:44Operator!
01:44Oh, Max!
01:50Come on!
01:51Max, what are you doing here?
01:52That's pretty good now.
01:56You're getting the backfire.
01:58Max!
01:59Max!
02:00Help me!
02:01Oh!
02:09Okay, Chief.
02:11Now, just take these suitcases and put them in the trunk.
02:13Woo-hoo-hoo!
02:18Chief, you forgot your luggage!
02:22Hurry, hurry, hurry.
02:24Ha-ha!
03:25I'm sorry, Winters, but I just can't subscribe to the theory that the chief met with foul play.
03:31Now, let's face the facts, 86.
03:32The automobile was found abandoned 10 miles away, about two hours ago.
03:36We went over the car very thoroughly, Max, and we found a few things. They're in here.
03:42Oh, thank you, 99. Now, let's see what we've got here. Some strands of hair, odd-shaped piece of metal,
03:49button, and this piece of paper.
03:58Okay, Windish, now for a little basic detective work.
04:03This should be interesting.
04:05Go ahead, Max.
04:05What's your conclusion, Max?
04:14The chief has been kidnapped. May I ask which one of these items led you to that conclusion?
04:19This innocent-looking piece of paper.
04:21Why, Max? What is it?
04:22A ransom note.
04:23If they want $200,000 for the chief or they're going to kill him.
04:29Now, where are we going to get that kind of money?
04:31Oh, couldn't we ask the government for help?
04:3499. We're a top-secret organization.
04:37Not even the State Department knows about us.
04:39We just can't go running to them every time we've got a little problem.
04:43Then what about Congress, Max? They could put through a special appropriation.
04:46How long would that take?
04:48Three months.
04:49Well, what if it was an emergency?
04:50Four months.
04:52Get it.
04:53I guess you're right, Max. It's just that I'm so worried about our chief.
04:56Well, I'm worried about the chief, too, 99.
04:59My gosh.
05:00There's no one fonder of the chief than I am, and no one closer to the chief.
05:05But $200,000?
05:07After all, he is a huge chief.
05:09Max, maybe this is something that you should take right to the top.
05:14You mean call him?
05:15Oh, I couldn't do that, 99.
05:18Maybe I can get in touch with one of his aides.
05:20Max, it's got to be him.
05:24Well, maybe you're right.
05:25It's just that I hate to bother him.
05:27He has so many problems now.
05:29Well, I'll use the hotline.
05:39Hello, sir.
05:49This is Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, from Control.
05:53Fine, thank you, sir.
05:55Sir, I don't exactly know how to tell you this, but our chief has been kidnapped.
06:01Yes, we think it's a shame, too, sir.
06:02Well, they want $200,000 for his return, and we thought perhaps you could help us.
06:10Oh, well, thank you, sir.
06:13That's very nice of you.
06:14We certainly appreciate it.
06:16Yes, sir, thank you.
06:17What did he say, Max?
06:19He said to put him down for $12.
06:20You'll never get away with this, whoever you are.
06:31I'm sorry, I neglected to introduce myself.
06:34My name is Satan.
06:36Harvey Satan.
06:38How long do you think you can hold me here before my men find me?
06:41They'll never find you here.
06:45My private sanatorium is too well hidden.
06:47Besides, you'll be back in your control headquarters soon enough.
06:53After they've paid your ransom.
06:55You mean this is just a kidnapping?
06:57No, not just a kidnapping.
07:01After your organization has paid the $200,000 we're asking for you,
07:05we'll send you back to them, and you'll be in perfect health.
07:08But you'll be working for chaos.
07:10There is no way you can force me to work for chaos.
07:13As we speak, at this very moment, a certain Dr. Laszlo von Havik is on a plane from Europe.
07:20Now, I've never met the man, but I've been led to believe that he can perform the most incredible operation
07:24that will turn you into our willing slave.
07:30Imagine, Rudolph, the chief of control, a chaos man.
07:35The door, Rudolph.
07:36Your new quarters, Rudolph.
07:43Why are you putting me in there?
07:46We have to lower your body temperature for the operation tonight.
07:49I hope it's not too uncomfortable.
07:51My advice to you, chief, is try to stay cool.
08:01We'll never get $200,000.
08:04$43.50 from the lab technicians.
08:06$43.50, lab.
08:09Wow, here's one for $500.
08:11$500?
08:12Now, that's great.
08:13Now we're getting someplace.
08:15Who's that from?
08:16The boys in counterfeiting.
08:17Counterfeiting.
08:18Only a few more chances left on our punch board.
08:25Take a chance on our chief.
08:27Get them now.
08:27Only a few more left.
08:30That's the chief's special phone.
08:32Should we answer it?
08:33That's his private lawyer.
08:36I'm going to answer it.
08:37I'm going to answer it.
08:49Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 here.
09:16Would you mind repeating that, please?
09:19I said I'm speaking for your chief.
09:22If you wish to see him again, alive, pay close attention to my instructions.
09:27Get a tracer on this call, Hodgkins.
09:28Don't do it, Hodgkins.
09:29Go ahead, Hodgkins.
09:30Stay there, Hodgkins.
09:33At eight this evening, one of your agents will take the ransom money and carry it in a suitcase into Municipal Park.
09:40Enter the park by the southwest entrance and keep walking.
09:44You'll receive further instructions in the park.
09:47One agent, no more, or your chief will be killed.
09:52Wait a minute.
09:53How do we know you really have the chief?
09:55Well, who else knows about his abduction besides you and me?
10:01All right, Hodgkins, you can go now.
10:03Yes, sir.
10:04Hodgkins, come back here.
10:06Get a briefcase and fill it with all the money we've collected.
10:08And don't waste any time.
10:09There's no time to lose.
10:10Yes, 86.
10:11What's your plan, Max?
10:12I'm going into that park.
10:14Alone?
10:15Alone.
10:16But, Max, you'll be in terrible danger.
10:18I know.
10:18Those parks are murder at night.
10:20Don't turn around.
10:34Take two steps backward.
10:40The briefcase.
10:44Just a minute.
10:45How do I know we'll get the chief back?
10:47Don't worry, you'll get him.
10:48Satan always keeps his word.
10:50Satan?
10:52Harvey Satan of chaos?
10:53That's right.
10:54Hmm, I thought he was in jail.
10:56Wasn't he convicted of arson, treason, insurrection, and mass murder?
11:00He got time off for good behavior.
11:03And don't try to follow me.
11:05Don't worry, I wouldn't think of it.
11:20Hello, Control Central.
11:23This is Agent 86.
11:26Stand by to execute checkpoint tracking plan on Harvey Satan.
11:30Are all our agents at their proper checkpoints?
11:33Good.
11:33I'm putting a hold on my shoe and switching to my wallet.
11:42Hello, checkpoint Charlie?
11:44Is that you, 99?
11:46Pick up suspect at West Street exit.
11:49Yes, that would be north on Leonard Street.
11:51Uh-huh.
11:51He's in his car.
11:53Good.
11:55Hello, Central.
11:56I'm switching to my eyeglasses.
11:58Put a hold on my wallet, but keep my shoe open.
12:00Hello, checkpoint Baker?
12:08Suspect is heading your way.
12:11Where?
12:12East on Wyckoff Avenue, eh?
12:14All right, move out at a safe distance.
12:18Control Central?
12:19I'm switching to my top.
12:26Hello?
12:28Hello?
12:29Hello?
12:30Hello, Control Central?
12:33What's the matter?
12:35Oh, my tie is busy.
12:37Well, uh, put me on my handkerchief, extension 4.
12:42Uh, never mind the handkerchief, Central.
12:44My belt is ringing.
12:51Hello?
12:52Checkpoint easy?
12:54Yes.
12:55Well, I'll be right with you.
12:56Hold on.
12:58Hello, Central?
12:59Central, cancel my handkerchief, hold my glasses, cut off my shoe, and see if you can get that
13:04guy off my tie.
13:11Hello?
13:12Hello?
13:1386 here.
13:14Hello, Zebra?
13:15Uh, listen, there's a little static on my garter.
13:18Could you speak up?
13:18Ah, good.
13:19That's much better.
13:21Uh-huh.
13:21The car has pulled up to a private sanatorium.
13:24Hmm.
13:25That must be Satan's hideout.
13:27Uh, what's the name of the sanatorium?
13:29I should have guessed it.
13:35Satan's place.
13:52It looks impenetrable, Max.
13:54I know, 99, but it's the only way.
13:56We can't force our way in or they'll kill the chief.
13:59I think we better take a closer look around.
14:01Right.
14:05I'll check the wall.
14:06Watch it, 99.
14:08Have you got a hairpin?
14:09No.
14:11I've got one.
14:13What?
14:14I use it for picking locks.
14:18Stand back, 99.
14:18Just as I thought.
14:32Electric grass.
14:34Now, how are we going to get in there?
14:36I know.
14:37What about the green vault maneuver?
14:40Hmm.
14:40That might just work.
14:46Uh-huh.
14:47Look, 99.
14:49Here's the wire.
14:53And here's the plug.
14:56Look.
15:01No wonder we couldn't find it.
15:04The nightlight fell out.
15:0999, we've got to get over that wall.
15:11It's too high to jump.
15:13What have we got in the tool kit?
15:14Um.
15:15Oh, we could try this, Max.
15:20How am I going to get over the wall with a telescope?
15:22That's not a telescope, Max.
15:24It's a vaulting pole.
15:25Oh, good.
15:26I'll go first and you follow me.
15:28Right.
15:28Right.
15:40What else have you got, 99?
15:44Oh, these caterpillar shoes.
15:46Oh, good.
15:47These suction cups will fit to practically anything.
15:51I'll take them.
15:53Max, look out.
15:59It's a taxi cab.
16:01There are two people getting out of it.
16:02They're coming this way, Max.
16:03We've got to get out of here.
16:04Knock this into the bushes and cover it.
16:05Right.
16:06Let's get behind that tree.
16:07What is it, Doctor?
16:18Let me see your flashlight.
16:20I think this taxi driver shortchanged me.
16:22I hope Mr. Satan has prepared the patient for surgery, Dr. Von Havik.
16:25I'm sure he has.
16:26I've given him full instructions.
16:28By phone?
16:29No, I've never talked to the man.
16:31We always communicate by mail.
16:34Pardon me.
16:35Are you looking for Harvey Satan?
16:37Why, yes.
16:38Would you step this way, please?
16:40Which way?
16:41Doc-way.
16:4799 and the bell.
16:48Hi.
16:57Good evening.
16:58I am Dr. Von Havik, and this is my assistant.
17:01We've been expecting you, Doctor.
17:05Please, early.
17:10Satan wants to get this over as quickly as possible.
17:21We've done everything according to the instructions we received from Chaos, Doctor Von Havik.
17:25Ah, that is good.
17:26That is good.
17:27You have done well, Mr. Satan.
17:30I always do well, Doctor Von Havik.
17:34Now, your patient is ready.
17:35His body temperature is precisely as requested.
17:38Ah, that is good.
17:39Where is the patient?
17:39Bring him in, please.
17:40Rudolf.
17:41Gregor.
17:42Ah, yes, of course.
17:54Not much of a specimen, Mr. Satan.
17:58But we do what we can.
18:01And now, if you don't mind, gentlemen, my assistant, and I would like to be left alone with a patient.
18:07But, certainly, Doctor Von Havik, Rudolf.
18:17Look, 99, he's frozen solid.
18:18Poor Chief.
18:19Let's get him out of here.
18:20Right.
18:21Chief?
18:29It's me, Max.
18:31Can you hear me?
18:35Max, why don't you try to contact headquarters?
18:37Hmm.
18:38That's a good idea, 99.
18:39I'll call them on my shoe, and you breathe heavily on the Chief.
18:49Hello, control headquarters?
18:51Smart here.
18:52How soon can you move in on Satan Place?
18:55Good.
18:56Bring ropes, guns, 30 men, and three containers of hot coffee.
19:00How do you like your coffee, 99?
19:02Uh, cream and sugar.
19:05One with cream and sugar and one black.
19:06How about you, Chief?
19:07Hmm.
19:08Uh, cancel one of the coffees and make it tea.
19:10Right.
19:14Well, they'll be here in ten minutes.
19:15We've got a stall until they get here.
19:17Oh, Max, he'll never be thought out in time.
19:19Well, we'll just have to try and take him out the way he is.
19:23Right.
19:24Careful, you'll crack me.
19:25Well, Doctor, what's going on here?
19:29Ah, Mr. Satan, how fortunate you arrived just in time.
19:33The prisoner was trying to escape him.
19:35Right.
19:35He caught him just in time.
19:37How could he move when he's frozen solid?
19:40That is not my problem.
19:42I am just the doctor here.
19:43You will have to ask him that yourself.
19:45And now, if you gentlemen don't mind, I would appreciate it if you would put the patient on the operating table.
19:52Yes, Rudolph, put the patient on the operating table.
19:58We've got to delay the operation until I can figure something out.
20:01Most peculiar, Rudolph, most peculiar.
20:06Gregor, I want you to watch the doctor closely.
20:09Rudolph, go out and check the grounds.
20:11That's it.
20:17Doctor, I want your patient out of here within the hour.
20:19Uh, what happened to that other man, Rudolph?
20:23Out on the grounds.
20:24I sent him out to make sure everything was in order.
20:28Well, Doctor, are you ready to begin?
20:30Uh, yes, we'll begin just as soon as the doctor washes his hands.
20:34My hands?
20:36Ah, yes, of course, my hands.
20:39I will commence with the operation as soon as I have washed my hands.
20:44I don't suppose I have time to brush my teeth.
20:48Nothing.
20:50I didn't think so.
20:52You're Americans.
20:54Everything is rush, rush, rush.
20:57No wonder you'll never get anything done.
21:02Actually, this room is not cold enough for the operation.
21:13Your gloves, Doctor.
21:15Ah, good.
21:16Why'd you turn the temperature down?
21:19I can't explain now.
21:20Just keep stalling, and when I give you the signal, turn on that faucet with the hose attached.
21:25Right.
21:26Ah, now if we can just take the patient's temperature.
21:29Oh, right.
21:31Your thermometer, Doctor.
21:32Ah, good.
21:32Sweep, sweep that up and put it under the patient's top.
21:40Ah, never mind the thermometer, nurse.
21:43I think it is time to get on with the operation.
21:46Now, if you would just lay out the instruments.
21:48Here we go.
21:53Ah, good.
21:54Ah.
21:55But they are not in the right places.
21:58This is the European style.
22:00This operation is on the American plan.
22:03I will show you.
22:05Doctor, I think you'd better operate right now.
22:09You can't operate.
22:11He's not Dr. Van Havik.
22:13I found Dr. Van Havik and his assistant outside the world.
22:19You're right.
22:20I'm not Dr. Van Havik.
22:21I'm Maxwell Smart, secret agent 86.
22:23Now, 99.
22:28It worked, 99.
22:30What gave you the idea, Max?
22:31The frozen water in this sink.
22:35That's the end of Satan's place.
22:37Yes, and that's the end of those three hardened criminals.
22:40Max, what would you have done if your plan to freeze them hadn't worked?
22:45I had an alternate plan.
22:47What was that?
22:48I was going to go right ahead and operate on the cheap.
23:02Well, cheap, how does it feel to be back safe and warm in your own office again?
23:07Wait a minute.
23:13Where's my painting?
23:14Where's my desk set?
23:16My chair!
23:18It's all right, chief.
23:18It's just that we had to raise the money for your ransom.
23:21You sold all my office furniture?
23:23An auction, chief.
23:24Not sold.
23:26Well, where's the $200,000?
23:28Well, we didn't quite get that much, chief.
23:31$150,000.
23:33$100,000.
23:34$50,000.
23:38Am I getting warm?
23:40Uh, well, chief, let's look at it this way.
23:43Uh, you remember Tennyson's poem?
23:46Cannons to the left of them, cannons to the right of them, into the valley of death, rode the...
23:51$600.
23:52Right.
23:54$600, that's all?
23:57Why don't you go home and get some rest?
23:59You'll get a little sleep, you'll get warm, and we'll talk about it on Monday.
24:02I guess you're right.
24:03I haven't sent it around my car.
24:04Uh, my car, chief.
24:06You know what?
24:07Uh, I won it in the raffle.
24:08I won it fair and square, chief.
24:10You won my car?
24:11Well, that's okay, chief.
24:13You can have it on weeknights.
24:17He wants to go back to the icebox.
24:19He wants to go back to the icebox.
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