00:00I bought a new alarm clock, and now it wakes me up with insults.
00:04First it screamed at 6 a.m.,
00:06Get up, disappointment!
00:08Then it started changing my ringtone to crying babies and fax machine noises.
00:14Yesterday it said,
00:15You're late again like your dreams.
00:18I tried to unplug it.
00:20It laughed.
00:21It somehow called my boss and said,
00:23He's still in bed.
00:25Fire him.
00:26Now it keeps setting alarms for 3 a.m.
00:29And whispering,
00:30The grind never sleeps.
00:32But you should be scared to.
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