- 8 months ago
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00:00Syed, it's Janine.
00:02Call me back, will you, when you get this.
00:04I just wondered how it went with your mother.
00:06I wondered how it went and whether she's onside or not.
00:10After everything we've been through,
00:12all that pain, all that cumiliation,
00:14you're just going to forget about all that, are you?
00:16Don't blame Mum.
00:18You know, every time I put on this uniform,
00:20I remember what I once had and how it was taken away from me.
00:22I know why you're angry and you've got every right to be,
00:24but that was the old, Syed. I've changed.
00:26He has changed, Matt, if you were just listening to me.
00:28Where's he going to live?
00:29Yes.
00:35This isn't over.
00:37Masood.
00:41Well, I think that went rather well.
00:45He'll come around.
00:47Once I've had a chance to work on him, of course.
00:51OK, so, er,
00:53plans.
00:55It's probably best that you start off with the books.
00:57You'll want to get an idea of our customer base and...
00:59Until Dad agrees.
01:01I don't want him to feel like we've gone behind his back, really.
01:03I'm happy to help with the food for a bit, though.
01:05Oh, Papu, you are a good boy.
01:07What about moving in?
01:09Well, again, that's only going to wind him up, isn't it?
01:11I don't want you staying with that girl.
01:13Just till he comes round, yeah?
01:15Why doesn't your father choose to see this side of you, eh?
01:19Oh, Saeed.
01:21Why are you ironing the sheets?
01:33What's with the starch?
01:37What's with the starch?
01:39Just goes to show, doesn't it?
01:41I always iron the sheets.
01:43And with starch.
01:45And the fact that throughout our 25 years of marriage
01:47you've failed to notice this
01:49just goes to show how little you actually contribute
01:51to the running of this household.
01:53So you're not ironing them for Saeed, then?
01:55You've invited him to stay here, haven't you?
01:57Why shouldn't I, Miss?
01:59Any mother would.
02:00Only, he said no.
02:02Because he's worried about how his father might feel.
02:06So what's with the sheets?
02:08You have a very unforgiving nature, Masood.
02:10You know, it doesn't reflect on...
02:11I really don't want to go through what we went through before.
02:14You want him to fail.
02:16You expect him to fail.
02:18That's what this is all about.
02:20Ever since he was a little boy.
02:21Oh, really?
02:22Yeah.
02:23He was brighter than you, cleverer than you,
02:25and you just couldn't bear it, could you?
02:30So, Nab, where are you going?
02:36So do you actually want to work for your mother?
02:39I want a second chance, yeah.
02:40Or are you just after her money?
02:42That's you, Janine, not me.
02:44I have an instinct for these things.
02:46Come on, I think we should celebrate.
02:47Why don't you go and get a drink?
02:48Er...
02:49Oh, please don't tell me you're one of those good Muslim boys
02:51who doesn't drink.
02:52Well, actually, yeah.
02:53Are you kidding?
02:54I'm quite happy to go to the pub with you.
02:55Okay.
02:56Excellent.
02:57Fine.
02:58You're paying.
02:59Well, I'm paying.
03:00You stayed here last night for free.
03:05Oh, perfect.
03:06I was just bringing these round.
03:07Er...
03:08Yeah, and what are they?
03:10Well, Saeed is very particular about his bed linen.
03:13Aren't you, Saeed?
03:14It's up there in my top three most important things.
03:16I always know when he's teasing.
03:19Saeed?
03:20What?
03:21How clean are my sheets?
03:22Very clean.
03:24So thank you, Mrs Massoud, but it won't be necessary.
03:26You can keep your sheets.
03:27Well, where were you going?
03:28Janine was about to give me a guided tour.
03:29Don't be long.
03:30See ya.
03:31Just a minute, young lady.
03:32One word.
03:33Don't.
03:34You know what I'm talking about.
03:35You've been warned.
03:36But, Mrs Massoud, what with him being a Muslim and me being Jewish, don't you think that'd
03:49be a big step forward towards, well, peace?
04:02Nice.
04:03I've got something.
04:04It's no big deal.
04:05Um, Billy, I'm not staying, but this is for Tori.
04:08Well, thanks, Jane.
04:09All right, see ya.
04:10Hiya.
04:11What's the surprise card from Jane in, eh?
04:13Late Valentine, is it, Billy?
04:14No.
04:15He gets dozens of them every day from adoring females.
04:18Flowers, chocolates, billadoos.
04:19Yeah, you should feel privileged.
04:20You know, you are looking at the love of God and Walford there.
04:22In fact, the only reason we come in here is to be in his presence, hoping that some of
04:26his magic might rub off of us.
04:27Stop it!
04:28Leave the loser alone.
04:29He's the birthday boy, aren't you, Billy?
04:31Oh, yeah.
04:32Party, party, party.
04:33You forget all that, all right?
04:34Cos I ain't doing nothing.
04:35Oh, does Jane know that?
04:36What do you mean?
04:37Oh, I think I've said too much already.
04:41I've just seen him buying a load of balloons and stuff.
04:44Oh, hang about here.
04:45Jay's organising a surprise party for Billy.
04:47And Janine's gone and blown it.
04:48Well done, Janine.
04:49That'd be, er, 7.50, please.
04:51Oh, you know what I've gone and done?
04:54Oh, well, that's very convenient, that is, isn't it?
04:56It's the oldest trick in the book, that is.
05:00I am not your mother.
05:03You owe me and her child's interest.
05:06Yeah, I'm certainly interested.
05:08Does that count?
05:09Billy.
05:10So where'd you get all this?
05:12A few people tripped in a tunnel.
05:14Shouldn't you be at school?
05:15Sick.
05:16One hundred and ten, one hundred and three.
05:19Nice one.
05:20You like the menu?
05:22Well, I don't know what half of it is, to be honest.
05:25Pop back later, you can try some, all right?
05:27Morning, Christian.
05:28Sorry I'm late.
05:29Er, has Saeed introduced himself as yet?
05:31He's not been in, babe.
05:33Oh, that's unlike him.
05:34Maybe he overslept.
05:35Well, I just saw an Indian fellow talking to Janine in the cafe.
05:38Indian.
05:39Oh, whatever.
05:40Joe Brown, you just made my day.
05:44What's that man giving me daggers?
05:51Ian.
05:52He's always had a crush on him.
05:55That's Ian B.
05:57Mm-hm.
05:58Ian.
05:59Saeed Masood.
06:00Mum's telling me all about you.
06:01I wish I could say the same.
06:02Er, do we have a problem?
06:03No.
06:04My problem's with your mum.
06:05Sticking members of her family on the payroll without consulting me.
06:06I'm sure there's enough washing up for both of us.
06:07Washing up?
06:08I'm joint owner.
06:09Or did she forget to mention that little fact?
06:11What do you think you're doing?
06:12Eating breakfast?
06:13Breakfast?
06:14Breakfast?
06:15It's nearly lunch time.
06:16You were meant to start at nine.
06:17Mm-hm.
06:18That might be my fault.
06:19Yeah, I can believe that.
06:20Do you realise that I had to put my foot down for you to get this job?
06:22Your father's going to be then 15 minutes.
06:23Do you want to make me look like a fool?
06:24Come on.
06:25Come on.
06:26Come on.
06:27Come on.
06:28Come on.
06:29Oh.
06:30Oh.
06:31Oh.
06:32Oh.
06:33Oh.
06:34Oh.
06:35Oh.
06:36Oh.
06:37Oh.
06:38Oh.
06:39Oh.
06:40Oh.
06:41Oh.
06:42Oh.
06:43Oh.
06:44Oh.
06:45Oh.
06:46Oh.
06:47Oh.
06:48Oh.
06:49Oh.
06:50Oh.
06:51Oh.
06:52Oh.
06:53Look, I know you don't want me working here.
06:54Yeah, but your mother did, and she's the bossed.
06:55You never know.
06:56Might be useful.
06:57Just stick to washing up, and everything will be fine.
07:00So this is how it's going to be, is it?
07:03Pretty much, yeah.
07:06Here, let me.
07:07Thanks.
07:09I'm Said.
07:10Christian.
07:11Muslim.
07:12Nice to meet you.
07:15Manly shake you got there?
07:17Well, wouldn't it be?
07:19No reason.
07:20What, gay man, limp wrist?
07:22Is that it?
07:23No, that's not what...
07:25Oh, what's the point?
07:27Well, it's a bit bland.
07:30Bland.
07:32Bland.
07:33Your taste buds must be defective.
07:35Wait, I've paid my money, so I've got a right to tell you what I think about your spring rolls.
07:39Spring rolls?
07:40He's right, Mum. He's the customer.
07:42He's a child. What does he know?
07:44Oh, well, forget the old thing and I'll have me go back then.
07:46Fine.
07:47I'm going elsewhere.
07:48Good.
07:49Will everyone just calm down?
07:51Look, we know tonight's important to you, and you want everything to be just right,
07:57and that includes the food, and it's important to us that you're happy.
08:02So what could we do to improve it?
08:04Add some dipping sauce, maybe, you know, jazz it up a little bit.
08:07Dipping sauce?
08:09What kind of dipping sauce?
08:12Barbecue, maybe.
08:14Barbecue?
08:15We can do that.
08:17But I'm sure we could come up with an authentic dipping sauce to complement your food, couldn't
08:22we?
08:23Of course we could.
08:24It's how you get in the kitchen, there's work to be done.
08:25It's good for me that I'm telling them I'm sorry.
08:26Yeah, yeah, I hope you're better soon, yeah?
08:27Me too.
08:28Masala Queen, food of the gods.
08:29And goddesses.
08:30Mmm, looks tasty.
08:31It is.
08:32You want to try?
08:33It's good for me that I'm telling them I'm sorry.
08:34Yeah, yeah, I hope you're better soon, yeah?
08:35Me too.
08:36Masala Queen, food of the gods.
08:37And goddesses.
08:38Mmm, looks tasty.
08:39It is.
08:40You want to try?
08:41I don't mind.
08:42Oi.
08:43Right, come on, I'm just being friendly.
08:44Where's he been all this time locked up in charm school?
08:45Only let me out for special occasions.
08:47Okay, I've tried calling Auntie Peggy, she's not answering, so if Phil shows up here just
08:54call me upstairs and I'll deal with him, yeah?
08:57How?
08:58I don't know, I'll knee him in the groin and time to the bedpost.
09:02Trust me, nothing is going to ruin this party.
09:05Here he is.
09:06Go on then.
09:07I said half an hour, where have you been?
09:09I don't know.
09:10Are you around?
09:11Listen, Gary says his apologies but Dawn's not well so he ain't coming, alright?
09:14Yeah, no worries.
09:15Have a drink on me, Billy.
09:17Cheers.
09:18Bill, what do you want?
09:19Hint, I suppose.
09:20Alright, listen, in Ibiza, we used to call this the accelerator.
09:24Guaranteed to get any party started?
09:26Yeah, I'm not really in the mood for a party face.
09:28No?
09:29Oh, alright, alright.
09:30We'll send all this lot home.
09:31Surprise!
09:32First Lady!
09:33First Lady!
09:34First Lady!
09:35First Lady!
09:36First Lady!
09:37First Lady!
09:38Try 1, Your Majesty.
09:39Aoooo.
09:40Bab...
09:41Right?
09:42Wie call it taste the tando.
09:45M.A.P.! M.A.P.!
09:48Try one, Your Majesty.
09:54Barbecue?
09:55We call it taste of the tandoor.
09:58I know.
09:59Right, ladies and gents, can I have your attention, please?
10:01Can I have your attention? Hello?
10:03Shut up!
10:06Right.
10:07He's fearless, he's bold, he's 50 years old.
10:10Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr Billy Mitchell!
10:15Beech! Beech! Beech! Beech!
10:20I'm unaccustomed as I am to this.
10:24I just want to thank you all for coming.
10:29It's been the best party I've had in years and I really didn't expect it, so thank you.
10:35Thanks to Ron and Rox.
10:37You're welcome.
10:38And Sala Queen for lovely grub.
10:41A special thanks to Dawn and Gary for bringing my babies here tonight.
10:46That was smashing.
10:48And lastly, a big thank you to my mate, Jay.
10:52Don't know what to say, boy. It means the world, this.
10:55I know I'm not your...
10:58Well, I'm not really anything to you, am I?
11:00But...
11:01We look out for each other, don't we?
11:04He's... he's a brave boy.
11:07Bravest boy I've ever met.
11:08So, please all raise your glasses in a toast.
11:12To my mate, Jay.
11:13To Jay.
11:14To Jay.
11:15To Jay.
11:16Well done, son.
11:18Well done, Jay.
11:22Happy birthday, Billy boy!
11:27Fifty years.
11:28Fifty...
11:29years.
11:31Fifty years...
11:32...of...
11:33...failure.
11:34I...
11:37...crown...
11:38...you...
11:40...king...
11:42...of...
11:43...naffle.
11:45Phil, come on here, come upstairs and have a cup of coffee.
11:47Come on.
11:48It's all right, don't worry.
11:49I can have a look.
11:57Seemed to like the food, don't you think?
11:59Yeah.
12:00Went down well.
12:01I...
12:03Oh, go on.
12:06No, I was just gonna say, credit where credit's due.
12:08I thought Saeed played his part.
12:13You think that I don't know what he is?
12:18I do.
12:20For good or for bad mess, I don't wanna fight anymore.
12:24Neither do I.
12:28I'm glad you found him.
12:31I'm gonna try my best to move on.
12:35But you have to let me go at my own speed.
12:38Yeah.
12:40I've got my eye on him.
12:41One step out of line and...
12:42Understood.
12:43Understood.
12:44Uh, Saeed?
12:45Perhaps you could, uh, help finish clearing up?
12:57Of course.
12:59I hope you're not mistaking my son's naturally fludacious nature for something else.
13:03Hmm.
13:04I'll try not to.
13:05Because I know my son and, uh, he's not interested.
13:08No, not at the moment.
13:09He's told me so himself.
13:10Oh.
13:11Exactly.
13:12He's only got room for one special lady in his life.
13:15Tell me, have you met his girlfriend yet?
13:17Yeah.
13:19Oh.
13:20You didn't know?
13:22Silly me.
13:23Silly me.
13:28You really should have told me about Saeed's girlfriend.
13:30I don't know anything.
13:31He must have told you something.
13:34What's her name?
13:36Hmm?
13:37What does she do?
13:38What's her family like?
13:39Is she well educated?
13:40Well, she's going home with Saeed, so probably not.
13:44Is she pretty?
13:46How often does he see her?
13:47Look, I need to know what you know.
13:48Which is nothing.
13:56I should invite her round for dinner.
14:00That's a terrible idea.
14:02How can you just invite her round without okaying it with Saeed first?
14:04It's got nothing to do with him.
14:05How are you going to ask her?
14:06You don't even know her name.
14:07By the end of today, I'll know her name and I'll know her number.
14:11Do I even want to know how?
14:13Less you know, the better.
14:22Couldn't this have waited till we were at work?
14:24Well, am I not allowed to come round and visit my favourite eldest son?
14:28Of course you are.
14:29As long as you don't tell me to tidy up.
14:32Well, it's your flat.
14:33You're an adult.
14:35Is this a smartphone?
14:36Is it yours?
14:38I'm thinking of buying your dad a new one.
14:41Do you think it would suit him?
14:42It's a bit over-specced for him.
14:46So, has your girlfriend seen this flat?
14:50Not yet.
14:51Planning on inviting her round any time soon?
14:53One day.
14:54I'm beginning to think she doesn't exist.
14:56And by she, you mean...
14:58My girlfriend.
14:59Okay, just tell me her name.
15:00Amira.
15:01All you had to do was ask.
15:02Amira.
15:04Princess.
15:05Oh, that's beautiful.
15:06Yeah, well, Janine means gift from God.
15:09Beats a princess any day.
15:17Mum, I need to get ready for work.
15:19Unless you're gonna make me spend my entire evening slaving over a hot stove.
15:23And I don't think you're gonna be that cruel.
15:26See you later.
15:32Any chance of you doing some work?
15:34That knife just looks so sharp.
15:36Get chopping.
15:38Go on.
15:43Uh, what is she doing here?
15:45Working.
15:46Or at least she will be.
15:47With Dad busy, I thought we could use an extra pair of hands.
15:49Yeah, not those sort of hands.
15:51Ahem.
15:53What's this?
15:54We've got a lot to get done for tomorrow.
15:56Mum's told me what a big deal the christening is for the business.
16:00I thought we said no more stuff.
16:01Did you okay this?
16:03It's a one-off, I promise.
16:04No.
16:08You follow me.
16:10Listen, do you have your phone on you?
16:11Because I was telling Tamwar all about it and he really wants to see it.
16:15Do I?
16:16Yes, you do.
16:17Oh, sorry, bro, you have to wait.
16:18Thanks to you messing around before, I left it at home.
16:26I'm gonna put this lot in the fridge in the cafe.
16:28Will you have one for the rest?
16:29Of course.
16:31And if I don't, I can always ask Saeed if I can use his fridge.
16:35This place is great, you know.
16:37Ian always did have a good eye for business.
16:40Well, this is more me than him.
16:42Oh, good for you.
16:46Your son is such a laugh.
16:48He's a real credit to you.
16:49You can forget any designs you have on my son.
16:53I can?
16:55He wouldn't be interested in someone like you.
16:57Someone like me.
16:59White and Jewish, you mean.
17:01Racism takes many forms.
17:04None of them pretty.
17:19I can't.
17:21Okay.
17:23No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:36Well, that tube thunders over that bridge first thing.
17:39It's like the world's about to cave in.
17:42Oh, you get used to it after a while.
17:44Oh.
17:45Some don't need their beauty sleep.
17:47Me?
17:48I'm an eight-hour man.
17:50What?
17:51I could always review the sleeping arrangements.
17:54Oh, I'm touched.
17:55How many people swap their room with the lodger?
17:57That's sweet.
17:59Really, I'm quite happy with the status quo.
18:02I'm going for a shower.
18:04Well, chop, chop.
18:05Mollivans don't cook themselves.
18:09Are you kidding?
18:10I've been waiting 24 years to sample your cooking.
18:13It's not up to me, is it?
18:17Dad actually said that.
18:20Great, I'll see you then.
18:22If you think I'm supervising the Mitchells line-up at the Trough, don't we?
18:26Ian and Jane will serve enough at the christening,
18:28and my family and I will take care of the clear-up after lunch.
18:31Ever the dutiful son.
18:32Well, not perfect by any means.
18:33So, this girlfriend of yours.
18:36What's her name again?
18:37Amira, what?
18:38Yeah, what's she like, this Amira?
18:40She's a good laugh.
18:41Knows what she likes.
18:42Respectful of her faith.
18:43Oh, tick, tick, tick, top marks.
18:45Almost too good to be true.
18:47What?
18:48Never kid a kidder.
18:49The first rule of business.
18:50Tell the client what they want to hear.
18:51What's this got to do with my girlfriend?
18:52Well, I'm just saying, don't lay her on too thick.
18:54Zainab is supposed to be number one in your affections, right?
18:56Make her too perfect and she'll just get the help.
18:59I did not make Amira up to appease my mother.
19:01You'll never be able to play the field with that battle axe breathing down your neck.
19:06I appreciate she may be a little forceful, but please don't denigrate her.
19:11She's got a good heart and I love her.
19:14What's this? Spot of overtime?
19:17Oh, it's not for the christening.
19:19I just thought we could all sit down together as a family.
19:24The Book of Spice?
19:26We're honoured.
19:28Should I dust off the red carpet while we're at it?
19:31There you go again.
19:32Always so melodramatic.
19:33The answer's still no, Z.
19:34Zainab.
19:35We agreed.
19:36No.
19:37I'm renegotiating.
19:38Look, if you want to employ Saeed, that's fine.
19:39You're the boss over there, but this is still my home.
19:40You know, my name is on the mortgage tour.
19:41You expect me to sit down with him at our table and forget everything that's happened?
19:44This is a very important day for him.
19:45The least that we can do is put on a united front.
19:46What do you mean, united front?
19:48Zainab, why are there five placements?
19:51You stole his keys.
19:52The word you're looking for is borrowed.
19:53Why is it when Saeed's involved?
19:54Why is it when Saeed's involved?
19:55Why is it when Saeed's involved?
19:56We agreed?
19:57No.
19:58I'm renegotiating.
19:59Look, if you want to employ Saeed, that's fine.
20:00You're the boss over there, but this is still my home.
20:01You know, my name is on the mortgage tour.
20:02You expect me to sit down with him at our table and forget everything that's happened?
20:05This is a very important day for him.
20:07The least that we can do is put on a united front.
20:09What do you mean, united front?
20:10Please.
20:11The word you're looking for is borrowed.
20:12Why is it when Saeed's involved, logic and reason fly out the window?
20:16Logic and reason be damned.
20:17What matters is love.
20:18You can love someone too much, Zainab.
20:20Such idiocy.
20:21Would it kill you to be happy for him?
20:23Listen.
20:24Just, Zainab, listen to you.
20:25You're delusional.
20:26You rifle through Saeed's personal possessions like a thief.
20:29You phone her behind his bag.
20:30It's lunch.
20:31I'm hardly marrying them off, am I?
20:33It's an ambush, Zainab.
20:34Now you go and tell Saeed his girlfriend's on her way or I'll do it for you.
20:40Make sure you don't burn them.
20:45All right, stickler you.
20:48Perfection is my benchmark.
20:51Good luck, Amira.
20:53See for yourself.
20:57She's intelligent, sexy, creative, funny.
21:07You make her sound like a shopping list.
21:09OK.
21:10She makes me feel alive.
21:12All we do is laugh.
21:15Nothing else matters, just the moment.
21:18So she's the one, then?
21:21Insula.
21:22Well, she won't be over the moon to find out where you've been staying.
21:25My conscience is clear.
21:28Busy, I see.
21:30Ah.
21:31Here.
21:32Try this.
21:34Careful, it's a bit hot.
21:38Add a bit of paprika.
21:39Spice it up.
21:40Such flair.
21:41He'll make someone a good husband one day.
21:43Do you want to say it's a bit more of support?
21:46Erm, actually I forgot some cumin.
21:49What are we having?
21:50Er, lamp for Sunday.
21:52I can't wait.
21:53Twelve o'clock, no later.
21:55You've dressed her.
22:01So?
22:02Well, I wanted to dress her.
22:04Do you know what?
22:05Look at the time, OK?
22:06You haven't even done your hair.
22:07I was trying to help.
22:08Well, don't put yourself out of my account.
22:11What are you getting so het up about?
22:13Ronnie, this is supposed to be a special day, all right?
22:15Aunty Peggy's not coming.
22:16Phil smells like a brewery and Billy couldn't organise a booze up in one.
22:20This family's a shambles.
22:22Why don't you lower your expectations, then no-one can disappoint you?
22:28What about you and Amy?
22:31She can turn to you, right?
22:34Why?
22:35Cos you're a rock, aren't you?
22:38You're a leader.
22:40And some people just aren't.
22:42Amy doesn't need me.
22:45You're not coming, are you?
22:47I'm sure you'll manage.
22:52I did this whole thing for you, Ronnie.
22:55This whole day was for you.
22:58Because I felt sorry for you.
23:00I don't want your pity.
23:07Slide the vic as quick as you can.
23:10Is this it?
23:11Is this what you've been doing for the last half an hour?
23:13I bet.
23:14Hello!
23:17All right!
23:18All right!
23:22Oh, baby, I'm really sorry the alarm didn't go off.
23:24Do you know what, Christian?
23:25I really thought at least I could rely on you.
23:27It's not opening till we get back.
23:28We can set up then.
23:29It looks like an explosion in a party shop, Christian.
23:32Stuff this.
23:33I'm going on my own.
23:34Oh, Roxy!
23:35Careful!
23:36If I would have wanted bulging biceps, I would have gone to the gym.
23:42Are we okay to start setting up?
23:44Do us a favour, will you?
23:46Help these two with the decorating.
23:47Put that away, it's fine.
23:48You sure?
23:49We're on the same side, right?
23:50Apparently.
23:52I owe you one.
23:54Don't be long, boys!
23:55Oh!
23:56Sorry, mate.
23:57Sorry.
23:58No problem.
23:59Oi!
24:00Is nobody capable of keeping their minds on today?
24:02What's Ronnie done now?
24:03I just...
24:04I can't keep walking on eggshells with her, you know?
24:05She does my head in.
24:06Well, she doesn't.
24:07You're a mind reader now.
24:08Can you just hold that, please?
24:09We all know how this ends.
24:10You two blow off one minute, kiss and make up the next.
24:12Not this time.
24:13Bet you a stiff G&T.
24:14Her Majesty's already caught up.
24:15I don't know how this ends.
24:16I don't know how this ends.
24:17You two blow off one minute, kiss and make up the next.
24:20Not this time.
24:21Bet you a stiff G&T.
24:23Her Majesty's already called herself a cab.
24:26Speaking of which...
24:28Your carriage, mademoiselle.
24:30Come on.
24:35Oh, have a look out, sir.
24:37Oh, little dear Rabbit called you in for a big moment.
24:41Isn't she lovely?
24:43She's my granddaughter.
24:45Well, Jim's really.
24:46I've taken the liberty of reserving the two front puke.
24:49Oh, you didn't need to do that.
24:51Well, sometimes it pays to have friends and I, please.
24:56Oh, look, look.
24:57You've rambled a few feathers.
24:58Oh, them.
24:59Oh, they're what you call them.
25:00Poopy groupies.
25:01Do them good to be on the door at the church door once in a while.
25:04Oh, Vicar, you ain't met my son, Nick, have you?
25:08I don't think I've had the pleasure.
25:10Oh, he's a good Samaritan offered to drive me here.
25:13Right out of the blue.
25:14Didn't have you down as the religious type?
25:16Dottie's face rubbed off on him.
25:18Do you know, Vicar?
25:19She was top of her class in the Sunday school, so I was told.
25:22I used to love Sunday school.
25:24Did you?
25:25Yeah, we had this teacher, Mr Chalmers.
25:27Could have stared at him all day.
25:29Anyway, the reverend's agreed to do the baptism at the end.
25:31All right.
25:32Let's hope the honeymooners get back in time.
25:34Yeah.
25:35Those two truly understood the commitment they'd undertaken.
25:38Yeah, well, it's just going to be, um, Auntie Peggy today.
25:40Dad's not well.
25:41And the rest of your party?
25:43My sister's just been held up.
25:45She'll be here.
25:46Sure aren't.
25:47She'll be here.
25:49I must robe up.
25:51Enjoy the service.
25:53Now, excuse me.
25:54I'm going to do the collection, please.
26:05All things bright and beautiful
26:13All creatures, great and small
26:17Yeah, all right, just as quick as you can, yeah?
26:19All things wise and wonderful
26:23The Lord for living well
26:31Good morning and welcome.
26:35Everyone.
26:42Our Lord Jesus Christ has told us
26:44that to enter the kingdom of heaven
26:46we must be born again of water and the spirit.
26:50And has given us baptism
26:52with the sign and seal of this new birth.
26:54Here we are washed by the Holy Spirit.
26:57For me?
26:58Pick them from the park.
27:00Every time.
27:01Only because I let you.
27:02Dad?
27:05Said.
27:07Let me take your jacket.
27:09You look nice.
27:11Oh, it's comfy.
27:12I should check on the pasanda.
27:14Smells gorgeous.
27:16So it should.
27:17Your mother's been at the stove since half nine.
27:19Talk about the VIP treatment.
27:20Yeah, well, you know what your mother's like.
27:22She wouldn't want to let you down.
27:24I'm easy.
27:25You seem remarkably at ease.
27:27I bit my fingernails to the quick the day my parents met your mother.
27:30Still, I suppose it mattered to me what they thought.
27:32What are you talking about?
27:33What's with the suit anyway?
27:38You swore to me.
27:39I thought it best if it came from you.
27:41If what came from you?
27:45Your mother's invited Amira around for lunch.
27:48She did a little detective work and found her number.
27:51You lied to me.
27:53Don't start with the injured looks.
27:54This is what it's like to be on the other side of the fence.
27:56Amira sounded so lovely on the phone.
27:58I mean, she was beginning to wonder if we even existed.
28:01You have no idea what you've done.
28:04Amen.
28:05Amen!
28:07Now, if I may ask Amy Mitchell's family to join me at the font.
28:20Listen, I'm really sorry we just left the camera.
28:22Sorry.
28:23Sorry I'm late.
28:27I didn't realise you had to pay to get in now, dog.
28:29Don't mind me.
28:33Go on, carry on.
28:34Sing a hymn or something.
28:38That's it.
28:42Oh, careful, dog.
28:43If the wind changes, your face might stay like that.
28:48What?
28:49Give me that.
28:51I'm not just trying to help you on.
28:52Oh, right.
28:53What are you doing here anyway?
28:54You're not even a Mitchell.
28:56Jay.
28:59You all right?
29:00Yeah.
29:01Yeah, well you don't look well.
29:02I'm fine.
29:06As a side of the family, where are you off to?
29:10Fake break.
29:12Yank.
29:15If you could stand there.
29:16I've just got a dress caught up with a match, it's fine.
29:21All right?
29:22You want to look like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards.
29:25You're drunk.
29:26I am not drunk, okay?
29:27Just give it to me and I'll leave her.
29:29Leave her alone.
29:30Leave her alone.
29:31Leave her alone.
29:32Leave her alone.
29:33You just cut it out.
29:34Christian, stay quiet.
29:35Oh, my dear.
29:36Oh, my dear.
29:37Oh, my dear.
29:38Oh, my dear.
29:43Who's Nick?
29:44He's gone for some fresh air.
29:45I've been needing one myself if this carries on.
29:48I think it's best that we reach here.
29:50Just give me a cover, can you?
29:52Shh, shh, shh.
29:53Let us join together now and sing hymn number 356.
29:58Everyone's waiting for you.
30:11I can't even organise a christening, can I, without my mum making it into some sort of panamide?
30:16Look, it ain't your fault.
30:18I can't do this, Jack.
30:21My family is falling apart around my ears and I can't...
30:25I can't look after them, too.
30:27Well, you don't have to.
30:29Just get through today.
30:31I can't cope, Jack.
30:32All right?
30:33I can't do this on my own.
30:37You're not on your own.
30:40She's always been having a bow for you.
30:43Who's just saying that?
30:45She's my daughter, right?
30:46You're her mum.
30:47There'll always be a special connection with you and me.
30:57It's not what it looks like.
30:58Everybody's waiting.
30:59You had no right to interfere.
31:03Turn one!
31:04We would've been in our coffin by the time you introduced us.
31:05Excuse me!
31:06Hi!
31:07Hi!
31:08Er...
31:09I'm, er...
31:10Come in.
31:11I mean, that's not my name.
31:12Er...
31:13I'm...
31:14I'm...
31:15I'm...
31:16Tamwa.
31:18I was beginning to think that I have the wrong house.
31:20Heh.
31:21Oh.
31:22Oh.
31:23Oh.
31:24Oh.
31:25Oh.
31:26Oh.
31:27Oh.
31:28Oh.
31:29Oh.
31:30Oh.
31:31Oh.
31:32Oh.
31:33Oh.
31:34Oh.
31:35Oh.
31:36Oh.
31:37Oh.
31:38Oh.
31:39Oh.
31:40Oh.
31:41Oh.
31:42Oh.
31:43Oh.
31:44Oh.
31:45Oh.
31:46Oh.
31:47Oh.
31:48Oh.
31:49Belgian chocolates.
31:50Look.
31:51Mass chocolates.
31:52From Belgium.
31:53They're halal.
31:54You didn't need to.
31:55Thank you very much.
31:56Sorry, I'm early.
31:57Euston Road was practically dead this morning.
31:58Is that your convertible?
32:00Hmm.
32:01I wonder you got into Oxford.
32:03It was nothing, really, you know, is it?
32:06You're very well informed.
32:07Said is always going on about how great you all are.
32:09I wanted to find out for myself.
32:10Yeah.
32:11Well, a heads up would've been nice.
32:12Cancelled? Honestly, Saeed works too hard, just like my dad.
32:16Never stops. Meeting's here, auction's there.
32:18Let me take your coat. I'll take it.
32:19No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll take it.
32:24I keep telling him, you've got to make time for your family.
32:28Ah, I think we're going to get along just fine.
32:34Do you renounce the deceit and corruption of evil?
32:38I renounce that, I renounce.
32:40Do you repent of the sins that separate us from God and neighbour?
32:47Well, excuse me.
32:50Are you just going to leave me here?
32:52I need to sort this out.
32:53What could be more important than your own daughter's Christmas?
32:55Who asked you?
32:56You walk out this church, Jack.
32:59You close the door on Amy's life.
33:10Carry on, Reverend.
33:12It is more usual to have two godparents.
33:17Dot!
33:19Dot, would you do Amy the honour?
33:21Uh, bar be it for me to shirk me moral duty.
33:32Lemonade.
33:34Thanks.
33:36Where's mine?
33:37Oh, sorry.
33:39Forgot.
33:39Uh, did you have far to come today?
33:49Down the road from Sayy's place.
33:50Kensington.
33:51Told you I was thinking about letting that apartment go.
33:53Uh, do you still live at home?
33:54Yes.
33:55And your parents couldn't join us?
33:56Say, now, give the girl a break.
33:58It's fine.
33:59Uh, Dad's really busy and, uh, Mum died when I was young.
34:02Oh, I'm sorry.
34:03Well, I've seen the photos.
34:04No prices for guessing who you got your looks from.
34:07I'll tell Dad you said that.
34:09She'll be proud of you.
34:12Amy, Christina, Margaret Mitchell.
34:16I baptise you in the name of the Father
34:19and of the Son
34:21and of the Holy Spirit.
34:26Amen.
34:27Amen.
34:32So, how did you two meet?
34:55I used to live in paperwork to her father's house.
34:58Dad runs a property company.
34:59Renovations.
35:00Half a mil plus.
35:00Saeed showed him around this bargain.
35:03Some people are born with the mightiest touch.
35:05Dad better watch out.
35:07Saeed's hungry for a piece of the action.
35:08When are we eating?
35:09This waiting's torture.
35:10Smells nice.
35:11You're honoured.
35:12Mum's persanda is the stuff of legend, apparently.
35:14Actually, it's Nani's recipe, but who's scribbling?
35:16So, what is my son up to this time?
35:19Hasn't he told you?
35:21It's early days, yes.
35:22So, modest.
35:24Saeed is looking at this apartment,
35:27but he's just waiting for the price to fall a bit more.
35:29Oh.
35:30Let me get you another drink.
35:35You should...
35:35You just can't help yourself, can you?
35:42Let me explain.
35:42You pretend to own a flat that you don't even live in,
35:45invest in a property with money that doesn't even exist.
35:48I didn't set out to deceive Amira.
35:49The situation just snowballed.
35:51Oh, it always does with you, doesn't it?
35:52Amira's the reason I went to Mum in the first place.
35:54Girls like her, there's a certain level of expectation.
35:59This is such a mess.
36:09Amira spotted these apartments.
36:11A great investment opportunity, apparently.
36:13You'd lost your job, Saeed.
36:14I thought I'd lose her.
36:16I said I'd quit my job,
36:18cashed up my assets to go it alone.
36:20Do you know I should have been stricter with you?
36:22Where's your sense of right and wrong?
36:23Have you never lied for love?
36:25For Mum?
36:25Must you always rely on your mother for backups?
36:27Love makes us do stupid things.
36:30Crazy stuff.
36:31Stuff we'd never consider doing otherwise.
36:34I'll tell her the truth.
36:35You have my word.
36:36Say anything in front of the family,
36:37you'll humiliate her.
36:39Don't make her pay twice for my mistake.
36:43Please help yourself to Bindi Bhaji in Bengen.
36:46Where are the chips?
36:48Chips?
36:49Just kidding.
36:50Does he tease you this much?
36:52He wouldn't dare.
36:53I propose a toast to the chef.
36:55And to Saeed's deal.
36:56The first of many.
37:01Mess?
37:05Yeah.
37:06It's a Saeed.
37:11Now let's tuck in before it gets cold.
37:13You are going to save Dua.
37:16Yeah.
37:17Thank you for reminding me.
37:21Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim.
37:28What button is it again?
37:30Give us a minute.
37:33I can't do this.
37:36What?
37:37I need to find Ronnie.
37:40What?
37:41What about all the...
37:42What about all the things you said about us being a family?
37:45I don't care about you, all right?
37:46You're Amy's mum.
37:47I'm always going to care.
37:47You've used me!
37:48No, I tried, all right?
37:50I really tried.
37:50All right, well, go!
37:52Go on, then, because I obviously can't stop you, can I?
37:54So what about Amy?
37:55You're going to let me see her?
37:57Well, you've made your choice, haven't you?
37:59I'm not going to...
38:00You're not going to...
38:01I'm not going to...
38:02I'm not going to...
38:04I'm not going to...
38:04I'm okay.
38:10Well, I'm fine...
38:12I'm fine.
38:14Dad spent heaps doing it up.
38:17How cool is the swimming pool in the basement?
38:20You would love the architecture.
38:22Dad used to take us around these National Trust places when we were kids.
38:25You remember when we went to...
38:26Tell me, what first attracted you to the millionaire's daughter?
38:29Don't worry.
38:32Um, do you also work for your father?
38:34I'm still thinking about what I want to do.
38:36Cosmetics company, fashion boutique, something cool.
38:40Or I might just get a rich go-getter to make me an offer I can't refuse.
38:45Can I interest anyone in seconds?
38:46Can Ronaldo kick a ball?
38:48Not for me, thanks. I feel a bit nauseous.
38:50Not for me either, thanks.
38:52You've hardly touched yours.
38:53I'm not really that angry.
38:54Is it okay?
38:55Um, was something wrong with it?
38:57It's lovely, really.
38:58It's been ages since I've had rustic food.
39:02Perhaps we should skip to dessert then.
39:04Here, let me give you a hand.
39:05Please.
39:08Yeah?
39:09Thanks.
39:18Rustic?
39:18I'm sure Amira didn't mean it like that.
39:21She is looking down her nose at us.
39:23What does that boy think he's playing at?
39:24He's a grown man.
39:25He can stand on his own two feet.
39:27Do you want to come back in and try that again?
39:29Sorry.
39:29Well, what is the matter with you today?
39:31I just don't get it, that's all.
39:32After everything he's put us through.
39:34What are you talking about?
39:34You two falling over yourselves to lie for Saeed.
39:37Who's lying?
39:38Oh, well, a lie of a mission is still a lie.
39:40When you have your own kids, you'll understand, all right?
39:42Sorry, that's a cop-out.
39:43Okay, just enough.
39:43Enough, please.
40:00You moron!
40:01You've been up to us like World War III, Dan.
40:04Leave me alone!
40:12Pills?
40:15Don't you laugh at me!
40:16Well, I thought you were a tough one.
40:18It's nice to know I'm not the only weakling.
40:20I am nothing like you.
40:23You'll, uh, want something to wash them down with.
40:29Your heart's not in it.
40:32Overdose.
40:34It's just a cry for help.
40:37You have no idea how I feel.
40:40What's your sister done this time?
40:45It's not just her.
40:46It's him, but she...
40:50She knew!
40:53She knew how I felt about him!
40:55Don't be surprised, you know.
40:57Doing the dirty.
40:58It's a Mitchell pastime.
41:01What would you know about it?
41:06You know, every time I look at Ben...
41:11...his eyes...
41:12...the shape of his head...
41:16...just a tiny, tiny little bit of me wonders...
41:19...maybe, maybe it was more than just once.
41:25What was?
41:28Grant.
41:30Kathy.
41:32You're kidding me.
41:34It's to you.
41:36It's art.
41:37Move yourself.
41:53What are you doing?
41:55Change of plan.
42:00Cab's here.
42:01Where's Waxley?
42:03Dallon?
42:04Toilet?
42:06I thought you said they were successful.
42:08Well, the catering's a new venture.
42:10You watch they'll be buying a place from your dad before too long.
42:14Mind if I use the bathroom?
42:15Uh, yeah, it's just, um, top of the stairs, second on, you're right.
42:24I can show you if you wanted.
42:25I can manage.
42:29Oi!
42:30She's way out of your league.
42:32You better watch it.
42:34Mum and Dad might be push-overs, but I'm not.
42:35Look, if this is about the $2.50 I bought...
42:37Sorry, we had a deal.
42:38You said you'd leave.
42:4020% interest.
42:4150 gold ones for doing nothing.
42:44What do you say, bro?
42:45His lamb forbids making money from money,
42:47but you'd know all about that, being such a good Muslim boy.
42:54Roxy, cab's waiting.
43:03Oi, come on.
43:04And this one time,
43:08Maz was driving us to Birmingham.
43:10Saeed was sitting in the front.
43:11You were how old?
43:1212?
43:1312 going on 30.
43:14Sorry.
43:14And I was sitting in the back with Shubnam.
43:16Tam was on my lap.
43:17He was a slave to Carson.
43:18Not this one again, please.
43:20And he was in charge of map reading.
43:23And he was shouting out directions like royal decrees,
43:25you know, go straight, turn left here, turn right there.
43:27And it wasn't until we got to Bromsgrove
43:30that we realised he had the map.
43:32Upside down.
43:35Do you remember what you said?
43:37I'm taking the scenic route.
43:40I hate to break up the party,
43:41but we really need to nip to Saeed's place.
43:46Oh, well, I was just about to put on the coffee,
43:48you know, break up in your box of chocolates.
43:49I promised Sasha that at the end of your season four of Lost.
43:52You know how happy she gets.
43:53Oh, I'm not really sure where it is.
43:55Well, it would be under L on your shelf.
43:57You label everything alphabetically weirdo.
44:00Saeed always was very fastidious, weren't you?
44:02I didn't make it to mosque on Friday.
44:03I'd really like to go to Maghrib today.
44:05But I never see you.
44:06I need to do my duty, Amira.
44:07Give me a break.
44:08Don't worry.
44:09Just go to your room.
44:10What?
44:11No, you know, I've had just about enough of your surliness today.
44:13Why are you punishing me when Saeed's the big liar?
44:15What do you mean?
44:19Saeed can't take you back to his flat because there is no flat.
44:25Saeed's broke.
44:26I never said that it was mine.
44:54You never said you were renting it either.
44:57What about the other apartment?
45:00I'm still working on raising the money.
45:01I didn't want you to think I was a failure.
45:03And you, you knew about this.
45:05Saeed promised me he'd tell you.
45:06You knew and you didn't even say.
45:08Cardus runs in the bloodline.
45:09Now, wait just a minute.
45:10No, no, no.
45:11Amira's got a right to be angry.
45:12Let her have her say.
45:13Dad had nothing to do with this.
45:15He's got more integrity in his little finger than I...
45:17You're a lying, snivelling little snake.
45:19You don't understand.
45:19I did it with the best intentions.
45:20You're all the same.
45:22You see the money and...
45:23You used me.
45:27You used me to get to my father.
45:28To back your pathetic scam.
45:30It wasn't about the money.
45:32It was never about the money.
45:33I love you.
45:34You don't seriously think we have a future, do you?
45:37You're not even connected.
45:39What's that supposed to mean?
45:40Catering business.
45:41Yeah, right.
45:42Takeaway, probably.
45:44What a cliche of a family.
45:45Now, listen, young lady.
45:46And I mean lady very loosely.
45:48Excuse me?
45:49Saeed's been stupid.
45:50I agree with you there.
45:51But there was no malicious intent.
45:52And he actually cares about what you think.
45:54And for the life of me, I can't imagine why.
45:57Are you going to stand there and let your father talk to me about it?
45:59This is our home.
46:01A guest you may be.
46:03But I'll be damned if I let you malign my family.
46:06Tamar, fetch Amira's coat.
46:08She's leaving.
46:09Hey, you forgot something.
46:28You could have ruined my car.
46:29It's okay.
46:30Daddy would have bought you a new one, no?
46:31She would have found out sooner or later.
46:40Oxford bound you maybe, but it doesn't give you permission to be so smart.
46:45Where did the chocolates go?
46:50You know, I might go and revise or something.
46:54Well, that went well.
46:57You didn't have to.
46:58I can fight my own battles.
46:59She crossed the line.
47:01And you're still my son.
47:07Sad thing is, Amira's right.
47:10I am a liar.
47:13The flat.
47:15Stealing the money.
47:16Well, at least you've shown some genuine remorse, and that's a start.
47:19I will pay it back.
47:22Every penny.
47:23Fine.
47:24Let your mother deduct an agreed amount each week from your pay packet.
47:28I have the lot.
47:28I work for nothing.
47:29I'm sure we can find plenty of chores for you to do around the house.
47:35What are you saying?
47:37Shubham's room's just gathering dust.
47:42Do you mean it?
47:44Oh, Mads.
47:46Come back.
47:47I'd say you'll come back.
47:49Are you serious?
47:50Yes.
48:02Little steps.