00:00Brad Williams, hey, thanks for having me back, you guys, and I'm glad, because last time
00:08I was here, we had a little viral moment of me slam dunking, and that was great, because
00:14for those of you who don't know, I'm not a tall man, so when I dunk, it's just like,
00:19oh my god, a dwarf dunk, I'm pretty sure I've got to go play the lottery right now.
00:24I'll tell you what, man, we've shown that footage to a number of people who are mightily
00:28impressed with your abilities.
00:29Oh yeah, white boys from Orange County, we can jump.
00:34You did the full-on Michael Jordan splits in the air, tongue out, slam dunk.
00:39Don't get me wrong, my legs are only about a foot and a half long, maybe, no, that's even
00:45too long for me.
00:46Yeah, so like, it doesn't take a lot of effort for them to spread, you know, like, it's not
00:51like I'm really getting it out there, no, they're freaking toothpicks, man, but yeah.
00:55Look at this, we have you frozen in motion, you've got a nice foot going on, it's good
00:59form.
01:00When dwarves dunk, that's the new when pigs fly, like your wife goes like, yeah, I'll
01:05give you anal when dwarves dunk, and then you just show them that video, and you're like,
01:09ah, let's get it in.
01:10Done.
01:11Well, that's our new phrase, when dwarves dunk.
01:13When dwarves dunk.
01:14Yeah.
01:15God, I love that.
01:17Wow.
01:17Actually, a lot's happened in your life since we saw you last.
01:20Yeah, I got married, I did that thing, still married.
01:25I'll tell you what, if you guys remember, we found out, you are an adventurous mofo when
01:30it comes to the realm of sexuality, and having fun, you like multiple menu items.
01:37Yes, well, my wife and I met on a threesome app.
01:40We met on an app called Field, where, yeah, that's like Tinder for threesomes.
01:47Really?
01:47Yeah.
01:47Because when you were here, you were actually, in fact, the last time you, when you had the
01:51run of shows here last time, were you able to broker a lot of stuff?
01:55Yeah.
01:57You son of a bitch.
01:58I've been setting stuff up for a year since then, because your listeners are also very
02:03inventive.
02:04There's a suicide girl that listens to this show that we're kind of lining up, so that's
02:09that's cool.
02:10Suicide girls are tatted up and awesome.
02:12They're really cool.
02:13Yeah.
02:13Shout out to Linnovative.
02:15Linnovative.
02:16Linnovative.
02:16I don't know what her name is, but it's going to be fun.
02:20Wow.
02:21Yeah.
02:21Good for you.
02:23Here's the thing.
02:24When you're a dwarf and you have sex, you can't be, I can't just missionary with eye contact.
02:33Because when a tall woman has sex with a dwarf, that's not the only thing she's into.
02:39She's into the craziness, all right?
02:41No one just, their bit of the freak starts at dwarf.
02:45No.
02:46Like, I've had some weird stuff.
02:48You make a good point.
02:49There's no, there's, so in other words.
02:51Yeah.
02:52Like, you would not be insulted if she was watching TV while you were, right?
02:56Because there's no.
02:57No.
02:58Yeah.
02:58No, I love when I would, like, when I was single and everyone was like, you know, that
03:03woman's only having sex with you because you're a dwarf.
03:05It's like, I'm having an orgasm.
03:06I don't dare.
03:07Right.
03:08Well, don't you feel exploited?
03:10No, I feel used.
03:11And it's lovely.
03:13It's fine.
03:14There's a difference.
03:16When Brad was coming in that he's done something you've always wanted to do, or we assume it's
03:19out of this realm of stuff.
03:20Well, this is, I mean, this is going to, we're taking a big step backwards on this.
03:23Okay.
03:24That's okay.
03:25I don't care.
03:26I read that you put a putting green in your backyard.
03:29I did put a putting green in my backyard.
03:30I thought about doing it.
03:32Wow, this is a left turn.
03:34That's what I'd step by.
03:35We're going from orgies to, it's Sunday at the Masters.
03:40I just figured that maybe we'll just, we'll revisit.
03:43Yeah, yeah.
03:44Sure.
03:44But if you can get, it's all hole-based.
03:47Yeah, it's all putting balls in holes.
03:49That's it.
03:50That's the only thing we're talking about today.
03:52You're a big golfing fan, then.
03:53Yeah.
03:54I like it, not only because I like the sport, I think it's fun.
03:59I just like the looks on people's faces when I roll up, and people are just like, oh, man,
04:05this isn't going to go well.
04:06And then I'm actually good.
04:08So just, and that, and I love the sort of golf dad jokes that I'm allowed to do.
04:14Like, because I'll be in a city, and I'll just want to go play.
04:17So I'll go play to a chorus, and they'll usually put me with, like, another twosome or threesome
04:22or something.
04:23And they'll always ask the question, like, hey, man, so you're playing with us.
04:26What's your handicap?
04:27And I go, dwarfism, you a-holes.
04:29It's easy.
04:31Every time.
04:32Do you have to, so obviously you get clubs that are sort of tailored to you, but I mean,
04:36do you have to go, are they more expensive because?
04:39No, they're just kid clubs.
04:41Are they really?
04:42Well, like, that's how it used to be, but not to get too inside baseball.
04:47And this is really going to drive you nuts, because I have a putting grade in my backyard.
04:50But I know the head wedge designer at Callaway.
04:55Oh, nice.
04:55His name is Roger Cleveland.
04:56Yeah.
04:57He started Cleveland Golf.
04:58Oh, no kidding.
04:59Yeah.
04:59Okay.
05:00So I know him very well.
05:01Nice.
05:01And so he gets me some custom clubs that aren't exactly on the market yet.
05:05God, that rocks.
05:06Dude, we're looking at the video.
05:08What tees do you play?
05:09Dude, I do the white tees.
05:12Okay.
05:12Not the blues, not the tips, not the reds, which, by the way, I have no problem with Caitlyn Jenner.
05:21No problem at all.
05:22You do you.
05:23You want to be a man.
05:24You want to be a woman.
05:25Whatever the hell.
05:26You be happy.
05:27Be who you are.
05:28Play the blue tees, though.
05:29Play the blue tees.
05:32You cannot play the red tees when you were on the Wheaties box.
05:37All right?
05:37That is the only problem I have.
05:39When you're, like, and she went, she used to play the blues.
05:44She got the surgery, hacked it off, and now you're, and now you're 50 yards ahead.
05:49No, get back.
05:51Get back.
05:51She's good.
05:52My friend plays golf with her, so she's really good.
05:54Of course she's good.
05:55At one point, she was the best athlete on the planet.
06:00You're like, oh, yeah, baby, she should play.
06:02No, you're playing for money.
06:05Get back there, Caitlyn.
06:07Wait, was that Craig Preston?
06:09Yeah.
06:09Come on.
06:11Jeez, man.
06:13That's like if Tiger Woods kid applied to have, like, an African-American scholarship.
06:19No.
06:20That's for people that need it.
06:22Yes.
06:22Yeah.
06:23Not you.
06:24Not you.
06:24That's for people that need it.
06:25That's for people that need it.
06:25That's for people that need it.
06:25That's for people that need it.
06:26That's for people that need it.
06:27That's for people that need it.
06:27That's for people that need it.
06:28That's for people that need it.
06:29That's for people that need it.
06:30That's for people that need it.
06:31That's for people that need it.
06:32That's for people that need it.
06:33That's for people that need it.
06:34That's for people that need it.
06:35That's for people that need it.
06:36That's for people that need it.
06:37That's for people that need it.
06:38That's for people that need it.
06:39That's for people that need it.
06:40That's for people that need it.
06:41That's for people that need it.
06:42That's for people that need it.
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