Peep Show: Trust No One Help No One

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak want to know when has the 'Trust No One, Help No One' mantra helped you, or maybe it didn't end so well.

Transcript

00:00what's your trust no one help no one story where you trusted someone and it went wrong

00:08or you said oh hell no and this lady says all right guys i have a crazy story that i have to

00:14share with you all i'm a 27 year old female esthetician and i work nights in a big strip

00:20mall type of place well last night i'm walking to my car about 10 p.m parking lot deserted

00:26i have to walk a good distance because our company doesn't want us taking up the front spots

00:31for customers sure so anyway i get to my car i sit in the driver's seat i'm checking my phone quickly

00:38seconds later there is a long-haired scabby dirty man pounding on my window

00:45i jump sure i turn my music down and i put my window down but not even an inch

00:53i say what do you need he pointed to a bank across the lot which by the way i realized had

01:02been closed for five hours at this point and said hey my car's dead i really need a jump

01:08no i said oh sorry i don't have a jump kit and he said no no i have one i just need a jump

01:14then he said listen i'm a really nice guy you can trust me i didn't mean to scare you

01:21but i'm desperate right now i've got a jump kit in the trunk can you just help me out

01:25she said this is where listening to you guys paid off i think you did yeah well that and being raised

01:32by a cop oh well well i knew something was off i panicked i said uh you know what i sorry i got

01:39to get home to my kids which i don't have and i just peeled out of there good good for you the

01:45whole way home i kept saying out loud to myself trust no one help no one yep no he died out there

01:51that night well this morning i see a story that an attempted kidnapping of a woman took place in

01:59that parking lot by the same man that approached me so thank you guys so much for burning the trust

02:06no one help no one mantra into my head yep i love you so much abby that's good could we help

02:12someone that's scary yeah i wouldn't even have put my window down a little bit to talk i just

02:17the second someone pounds on your door there's a poof of smoke oh yeah oh my god you cannot in a

02:23deserted parking lot at night at night no i mean listen it's scabby he's very scabby he's a scabby man

02:30that's how she described him yeah yeah like it's it sucks like if you if that really happened to

02:37you like i'm in the middle of some parking lot and my my car battery is dead i guess any normal

02:46person has a phone they would just call someone call for help you call a tow truck family tow truck

02:52anyone anything you don't you would never just start knocking on the windows i would never because i

02:58know a woman would be terrified a single woman yeah i don't even know approach a single woman like

03:03in a store to ask for something i just assume they think i'm up to no good yeah yeah and he was

03:09allegedly yeah that's wild this person said i was driving to work at 2 a.m the only car on a three

03:15lane road where out of nowhere a crackhead lady almost ran in front of my car with her thumb out

03:21trying to forcibly get me to stop i just yelled no effing way yeah and drove around her as fast as i

03:31could i like that she was so cracked out she thought just putting her thumb out would stop any vehicle

03:35what did the miniature mr t guy uh do to try and get you to stop well as i was approaching down the

03:45road here yeah it was like a big like scooby-doo type van that was at a complete stop in the middle

03:51of the road oh scooby-doo and mr t came together to try and get dave i think he might have just been

03:58high no i was not now that i think about it it was dave on a trip it was like a dark brown van but

04:06like the shape of the mystery machine that is an exact episode of scooby-doo i was gonna say

04:10was there a talking dog no lights on no blinkers nothing right and as i'm getting closer and it's

04:17dark down there i realize like i'm like is that a vehicle oh damn that's right in the middle of the

04:24road like anyone could have hit it right and that's as i got closer that's when mr t jumped out and was

04:29like little mr t a little smaller than mr t yeah help i'm like hell no right i mean i will say you

04:38guys half a second i was like oh i should stop yeah and then thank god the trust no one helped

04:44no one clicked in because i swerved around mr t in the mystery machine and just kept on going to work

04:50i understand like it sucks for mini mr t that he was possibly stranded at that location because he's

04:57probably not going to make it but it's i never knew what happened you have to keep going i think i did

05:03call the cops i think i did call 9-1-1 just to report that there's you know yeah they got right

05:10to oh my god they put that at the very bottom of the mystery machine with mini mr t is stranded in

05:16the middle of the road someone's gonna hit him they're hung up they're like some drug addict

05:20god bless the crackheads a crackhead's got a phone again

05:24you're not gonna believe this one he said miniature mr t was stopped in the mystery machine

05:34he must have not slept for like a week this guy he's been up for a day

05:39talking dog asked him to stop what would you call that style of van the mystery machine like the

05:46conversion van or something like that or yeah yeah it was that exact shape but like in a dark brown

05:53was it almost like the a-team van like did it have windows on the side yeah yeah same type of

05:59yeah it all went together he was a mini mr t impersonator oh wow what made him look like

06:07gold chain oh well if you listen if you're stranded on the road that dave is on and you have gold

06:14chains and it is late you're not gonna make it no you're not gonna make it i know and that's why

06:20half a second i was like oh should i but also to get out of your car with a bunch of gold chains on

06:26and not be afraid yeah you got to make sure the mystery machine's in work in order if you're gonna

06:30try that route yeah i know i mean i don't care i don't think there's anything that could get me to

06:39stop on these roads no you can't when i first started here i may have i may have considered it

06:43i would never stop now i just know the stuff that goes on around here yeah uh someone said i have a

06:49friend not too bright who picked up a hitchhiker while raining and being the nice guy he was he gave

06:54her a ride she was down her luck she needed a few bucks so he did ended up they hooked up he was so

06:59excited to tell us about it but didn't realize she was a hooker we were just looking at each other

07:05thinking who's gonna break that is hilarious i gave her some money we did it just help her out

07:11man just help her out she was totally into me listen bud she was just standing by the road like

07:16that she gets in my car yeah yeah pretty cool some money i give her some money and then we had sex

07:22you guys had some kind of uh intimate connection seemed like it yeah i never saw her again she had

07:27me drop her off on the road too i had to break it to you oh man uh that was a hooker oh

07:33oh no yeah oh yeah oh god hey whatever you got to tell yourself i guess uh chris is in dc what

07:44happened all right so about five years ago i got out of a relationship and i got on tinder

07:50and this girl messaged me and she said that she and her friend wanted to have a threesome

07:54and they would come pick me up and drive me back to their place to have a threesome

07:58at the time i'm like this is amazing yeah they come pick me up and then i get in the car and

08:03they're super hot and then it hits me as i'm driving through downtown dc and the car's these

08:08two hot girls to go have a threesome that i'm not that hot and then i realized it's probably gonna

08:12rob me and then i just jumped out of the car because i was like i would rob me to be honest

08:18like you jumped out of a moving car you're looking at two hot chicks oh stop and you're

08:23like oh i gotta get out this isn't right at the time it sounded it sounded great and then once i

08:28got in and i saw them and they're wearing yoga pants they're super hot and athletic and i was

08:31like this doesn't compute like they're certainly gonna take my money or probably beat me up and so

08:35i just i just stopped late just opened the door and they're like where are you going i was like

08:38doesn't compute gotta go they're probably like yeah we were really gonna have a threesome

08:42please don't don't put that in his head i mean that's terrible you can't you can't do that

08:50don't do that to him lisa lisa now i feel sad

08:54there's no god blessed way that those two gorgeous tans and yoga pants are gonna have sex

09:07there's no way they got it we are going to bang his

09:10american man it's funny that moment he was like wait a minute i'm not that hot

09:15oh my god oh my god they must be robbing me or wanting my organs

09:20oh no i just want threesome look at where you go oh that's so nuts

09:25wow i think he made the right he did he made the right decision for sure i think tens have like

09:33boyfriends that look like that one guy who was a gigantic dude it's like i'd have seen the right

09:39oh yeah sometimes it's worth a good beating

09:43i only got seven bucks on me anyway

09:46yep

09:47yep

09:48yep

09:49yep

09:50yep

09:51yep

09:52yep

09:53yep

09:54yep

09:55yep

09:56yep

09:57yep

09:59yep

10:00yep

10:01yep

10:02yep

10:03yep

10:04yep

10:05yep

10:06yep

10:07yep

10:08yep

10:09yep

10:10yep

10:11yep

10:12yep

10:13yep

10:14yep

10:15yep

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended