00:00White Trash Alert
00:09The problem with drug screening is that you know if your sample is going to come back positive.
00:18There's a chance, Dave.
00:19And there's not much you can do about it.
00:22Yeah, there is.
00:22Unless.
00:23Sometimes with science you can't.
00:24Yeah.
00:25Unless.
00:25I took a magical pill.
00:26A 42-year-old woman in Florida named Jessica Beattie was caught trying to defraud a court-ordered drug screening by using pee that she somehow collected from her aunt's dog.
00:45Whoa.
00:46Do you think that that would come back with some real crazy numbers?
00:51Yes, absolutely.
00:52They'd know it wasn't human.
00:55Would they?
00:55Yes, sir.
00:56I believe so.
00:57Yeah.
00:57Yeah.
00:58Now, in her case, it sounds like she was caught with the pee before submitting it.
01:05And she then admitted that it was her aunt's dog's pee.
01:10You got to time that right to get that pee.
01:13Well, I guess, yeah.
01:13They put that leg up.
01:14You got to get ready.
01:15Get right there.
01:16Get ready.
01:17Yeah.
01:17Oh, yeah.
01:17You're going to get someone.
01:18The dog is like, this is weird.
01:20Yeah.
01:20What are you doing down there?
01:22What are you doing?
01:23Yeah.
01:23Gets real weird when your dog fails it for meth.
01:25Oh, yeah.
01:28What are you doing?
01:29What have you been up to?
01:30What are you doing?
01:33Not what you'd expect.
01:34No.
01:35If you want to check this woman out, we did link to her mugshot up at DavidChuckTheFreak.com.
01:39Got to get some more friends.
01:42Maybe she just has no friends that are clean, I guess.
01:44That's probably it.
01:45That's it.
01:46Oh, that's probably it.
01:47Yeah.
01:47If you run in those circles.
01:49Oh, my urine is worth a fortune.
01:52Okay.
01:52Let me ask you this.
01:53Yeah.
01:53Someone says to you, Chuck, dude, I need your pee.
01:59Fill it up.
02:00Would you do it for someone?
02:01I think so.
02:01I don't think that.
02:04You don't do that.
02:05I've given it for someone.
02:07Oh, you have?
02:08Wow.
02:08You lent someone your urine?
02:10But it worked?
02:11Yeah, it worked.
02:12I mean, just because this woman got caught, I don't know how.
02:14They put it in the whizinator or whatever.
02:17It's pretty risky.
02:17There's some people that I know that now that I'm living my current lifestyle, you know,
02:22it's like a gold rush.
02:25Yeah.
02:25I'm an untamed oil well.
02:27Yeah.
02:27Exactly.
02:28You're living clean.
02:29Paying off those gambling debts.
02:31They aren't so much.
02:33Hey.
02:33Get your hot pee, man.
02:36Get your fresh hot pee.
02:37That's it.
02:37One addiction for another.
02:39You know what I mean?
02:39Yeah.
02:39Hanging outside those testing centers.
02:42Get your hot pee, yeah.
02:46Someone else.
02:47Man, people are trading their urine.
02:49Yeah, of course, man.
02:50Can I ask how much you got paid?
02:52I didn't get anything.
02:53Oh, you didn't?
02:53You just did it for free.
02:54No.
02:54Yeah, it's just a friend who had a job and asked if I would lend mine, and yep.
02:59If you've ever traded your urine for someone so they could pass a test, reach out to us
03:04quickly.
03:041-855-954-6969.
03:07That's the number.
03:081-855-954-6969, or text 46969.
03:12Someone said they did it for some Magic the Gathering cards.
03:15Not a bad trade.
03:16They traded some of their clean urine.
03:18Yeah.
03:18For some Magic the Gathering cards.
03:20It's kind of like getting stocks.
03:22Like trading some stocks.
03:23You just hope to God, like, are these going to be any good?
03:25Right.
03:26Put them away.
03:27Don't touch them.
03:28Used a friend's once.
03:30I'm a guy.
03:30The friend was a girl.
03:33Probation officer said, well, you didn't drop dirty, but you are pregnant.
03:37So off to jail for me.
03:39Oh, wow.
03:41Yeah, that would be the thing.
03:42You'd get a lot of medical warnings if you used my urine.
03:47They'd be like, well, it looks like you've got this and this other thing and the cholesterol
03:53and also your liver and some other things you're picking up.
03:58That's right.
03:58You got a lot of issues.
04:00Yeah, like you were healthy the last time you were in here, but all hell is broken loose
04:04and we don't know what's wrong.
04:06It looks like you're taking Ozempic.
04:10Cream is in Boston.
04:12Hello, Cream.
04:14Prepare to peg.
04:15Prepare to peg.
04:16What have you done to get fake urine?
04:19Okay, so there is a fake pee, like a fetish urine that's supposed to be so close to realistic
04:27urine that it actually comes with peach.
04:30Yeah, it feels great.
04:31Oh, so people use it like for golden showers if they can't.
04:35Perfect.
04:35Exactly.
04:36Get it right.
04:37Okay.
04:37So it comes with a heating pack and everything.
04:40And I went in.
04:42Yeah, super convenient.
04:44I put it in between my legs and my pants and went in, and it totally worked.
04:48I had no issues.
04:50Oh, wow.
04:50So it is so much like pee that it actually passes a test for you.
04:54It does.
04:55It doesn't come up as fake at all.
04:59Well, there you go.
05:00I can't even imagine going on a website to buy fetish urine.
05:04I can't imagine inventing it.
05:05I've got an idea for a product.
05:10They were way ahead of the times, huh?
05:11Yeah, they were.
05:12There it is right there.
05:13My God.
05:14You just type it in.
05:15There's like a million.
05:17I love that it's X, but stream.
05:20You tired of having golden showers and you just don't have to go?
05:26I'm tired of drinking water all day.
05:28Extreme.
05:29Yeah.
05:30I pour it all over my face.
05:32There's other brands, but that seems to be the leading brand.
05:36It is wild to me that, you know, like I'm trying to take care of stuff myself.
05:41And the only way I'm going to get there is to grab that bottle.
05:46It's a sad life.
05:47You can't even get anyone to pee on you.
05:49Drench myself down as I'm self-pleasuring.
05:52You should be able to find someone to pee on you.
05:54I don't know if it's as easy as you're making it sound.
05:57I feel like, Chuck, you could put an ad up today looking for someone to pee on me.
06:01Yes, but also, am I not trying to find someone I actually enjoy the company of?
06:08Because, yeah, I mean, I could go on Craigslist.
06:10But I think at this point, all that matters is the pee.
06:13If you're buying fake urine, you don't care.
06:15Oh, but.
06:16You know what I mean?
06:17I think you're buying.
06:18It's much like buying a flashlight.
06:21I buy a flashlight because I won't just sleep with a troll.
06:27So it's harder to find someone you'd actually enjoy.
06:31Exactly.
06:32So you do it yourself.
06:33I get it.
06:33I get that point of view.
06:35I thought if you don't care and you're willing to put even fake urine on yourself.
06:39I think fake urine is better than a strange man coming over and peeing on me while I pleasure myself.
06:46I didn't mean man.
06:47I meant.
06:47I just, you know, it's like, hey, it's the best I can do.
06:50Are you looking for someone to piss on you?
06:52Yeah, come on in here.
06:53All right.
06:54You know, I'm thinking of being in love with someone and they also will pee on you while you are pleasuring yourself.
07:02It's almost $10 a bottle.
07:03That doesn't seem very reasonable.
07:05I thought it was a pretty good price.
07:07You think?
07:07I think of an emergency.
07:08How much pee?
07:10These people, I thought, go through a lot of pee, though.
07:13Like more than three fluid ounces.
07:14Yeah, I was going to say, because even myself, like, I'd have to drink a lot of water to fill up that.
07:21Because that's like one use, right, for them?
07:23I think so.
07:23I don't think you put it in the fridge.
07:25But I don't know.
07:26I don't know.
07:27So there's a factory somewhere that that's.
07:29Yeah.
07:29They're pumping out.
07:31They're kicking that stuff out.
07:33Somebody clocked in this morning.
07:35Met the fetish urine factory.
07:37I met the pee.
07:38Hey, did you hit your piss quota?
07:39Sure did.
07:42500 gallons.
07:46Little do you know, it's just a bunch of poor Asian kids peeing in bottles.
07:50Oh, don't.
07:51No, it's fake.
07:52It's fake.
07:52It's not actual urine.
07:53Right.
07:54It's fake.
07:54Oh, no.
07:55Yeah, but everything tastes the same.
07:57It's like a milking machine, but it takes your urine.
08:00Jesus.
08:02Someone said, played two college sports, and after a knee surgery, I did a round of steroids to rebuild.
08:07Ended up doing an oil change.
08:12Swapped my pee and my buddy's pee with a catheter.
08:17Oh, like right in the body.
08:19Holy F.
08:20Yeah.
08:21Worst pain ever.
08:23And looking back, it was super dangerous.
08:27Yeah.
08:27I've never even heard of that.
08:29An oil change?
08:31I would not have done that for my friend.
08:33No.
08:33Come on.
08:34Sorry, bud.
08:35We're not strapping up catheters.
08:37Well, no.
08:38I think you just have to pee.
08:39You just have to pee still.
08:41He's got to put the catheter in, drain himself, and then take yours and squeeze it back up and in.
08:47Jesus, God.
08:47Oh, maybe I'm the sicko.
08:48I was thinking of us sitting in chairs next to each other.
08:50No, you're not like docking.
08:53You're not like weird stuff.
08:54You're not end to end.
08:54You put the tube in.
08:55I got the tube in.
08:56Yeah, you're not peeing into him.
08:57I'll let it out.
08:58Fill you up.
08:58Yeah, you're not peeing into him like a gas tank.
09:00That's better.
09:02I'm the sicko.
09:03Yeah.
09:03Yeah.
09:03You are.
09:04Yeah.
09:04And one more here.
09:06Let's go to Will.
09:07Hi, Will.
09:08Hey.
09:09How's she going?
09:10How's she going?
09:11A woman got caught trying to use dog pee in a drug screening we're talking about if you've
09:14ever made a pee trade.
09:16Yeah.
09:16So a guy at work who I knew was pretty straight laced offered me some of his urine for a test
09:22that I had coming up.
09:23So I go in there and I use it and they look at me funny and they go, you own any prescription
09:27drugs?
09:28And I'm like, no.
09:29And he ended up testing positive for Adderall.
09:33So I would have been better off using my own urine.
09:36Oh, damn.
09:37Yeah.
09:37You got to give me the heads up if you're like, yeah, just so you know, I got a little bit
09:41of ADD kicking around, you know, so I take some stuff for it.
09:48Yeah.
09:48Yeah.
09:48That's doing someone dirty.
09:49You have to tell them if you're, you know, I think sometimes people who they don't really
09:55care about you, they're like, oh, yeah, use mine.
09:57But they do all the drugs, too.
09:59They're just looking for that money.
10:00They get a little bit of money and then all of a sudden you get let go.
10:05They don't care.
10:07A lot of people don't care.
10:08That's why you got to ask a friend.
10:09Like, I'll ask Jason now from now on.
10:12A trusted friend.
10:13And then you know he'll do it.
10:14Not trusted, but I'll do it for you.
10:16Yeah, he'll do it.
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