- 4 hours ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a couple massage parlors that were busted for offering extra services. And, one of them talks about providing care for the "modern man". We also find out Chuck would like a shower massage...is he a modern man?
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00:00Rawr! Be-beow! Be-beow! Be-beow!
00:02Playing with your toys again, Chuck?
00:04Yeah! Cotton Candy 5-Hour Energy Flavor is back!
00:07It makes me feel like a kid again! You should try it!
00:10Akpagosh and Begorn, wait, David's here!
00:12Oh, there he is!
00:13Give me that!
00:20And...
00:21Dave and Chuck the Freaks, Pervert of the Day!
00:25Listen, we've heard of many of these stories through the years.
00:30But I don't believe anyone has been charged with this crime.
00:37Maybe it's specific to this place.
00:41What are you talking about?
00:42You're charged with masturbation for hire!
00:48Wait a second. I can... that can be a job?
00:52Chuck.
00:55Wait a second.
00:56How much your hands could be worth a lot of money?
00:59How much money have I left on the table if that's a job?
01:01Oh my god, dude.
01:03I mean, I've been doing it for a solid, a solid amount of time.
01:07Decades, decades.
01:07You've been doing it for free.
01:09Yep.
01:11I'm literally at retirement age from it.
01:15You know what I mean?
01:16Like, I've worked long enough to qualify for the pension.
01:18For that jerker's pension.
01:19Yeah.
01:21Damn it.
01:22But yes, it's a rub-and-tug bus, but that's the charge they faced, and I've never seen that charge
01:27before in my life.
01:29Masturbation for hire.
01:30Where is it?
01:31This is in Fayetteville.
01:33That's nice of them to put it that way because it's like, listen, I'm actually, I'm not having any kind
01:39of sexual contact with someone.
01:41I'm simply allowing them to masturbate me.
01:45I would be doing it myself, and that's, and that's allowed.
01:50Right, I know, but they're not spinning it that way.
01:53They're not.
01:53Which I really appreciate.
01:55You like, okay.
01:56It's like, no, because I'm not attracted to this 65-year-old Asian lady.
02:00She is just performing a service.
02:03Masturbating me.
02:04It looks like she would massage me.
02:06Exactly.
02:06She's just performing a service.
02:08That's it.
02:09All right, these ladies were a bit aggressive, though.
02:10They were going out to the gas station next door to, hey, you want to come get some love?
02:15Yes, yes, I do.
02:16Two women were arrested after an investigation into prostitution at a Fayetteville massage parlor.
02:23This all began after a undercover cop was just pumping gas.
02:28He was off-duty pumping gas, and he called into the station,
02:34I've got an Asian female out here trying to get me away from the gas pumps
02:39to go into the massage parlor for a little something extra, if you know what I mean.
02:43Wow.
02:44So they then conducted an undercover operation.
02:48They sent undercover cops in, and they did all perform sex acts for cash.
02:55So that guy got jerked several times, huh?
02:58I mean, I'll do this one if you want.
03:00Yeah.
03:00I'll handle this case if I have to.
03:04Well, they just got too aggressive.
03:06Yeah, you can't go out and recruit men to come in.
03:09No, it's like those.
03:10Can you imagine you're pumping gas, and some lady's like, hey, you want to jerk?
03:15Don't tempt Chuck with a good time.
03:17I am not doing anything.
03:21Another one busted, too.
03:23This one in New Jersey.
03:25They've got a fantastic website.
03:27It's called the Waterfall Spa.
03:30Oh, very nice sign.
03:31Beautiful.
03:32Yeah.
03:33Really?
03:33They just went all out on that.
03:35They could afford light-up part to say therapy, but then they ran out of money in the waterfall
03:40part.
03:41They had to stick up there.
03:42Two women arrested as police searched the waterfall therapy in the festival mall following
03:48a lengthy investigation into a suspected rub and tug.
03:51That's when they busted 50-year-old Ku Chen and 60-year-old Wen Jin Zhao.
03:58Each of them charged with third-degree counts of prostitution.
04:03The website says, at Waterfall Spa, we understand the luxury extends beyond the massage.
04:11Yeah.
04:12No details of the investigation were released.
04:15The business did not hide that it was geared toward men, saying, our exclusive massage offerings
04:22are designed with the modern man in mind.
04:24Modern man.
04:25We will elevate your experience with the captivating dance of our forehand massage.
04:30Oh, the forehander.
04:32A symphony of skilled therapists working in harmony to enhance your sense of well-being.
04:38I don't think you're really ready for a forehander.
04:40I can't imagine a forehander.
04:42You know, Chuck, are you a modern man?
04:44What do you think?
04:48Take one good look.
04:50We've got the modern man in mind.
04:53That's me.
04:54That's you.
04:55That's me.
04:56New balances, track pants, and wacky t-shirts.
04:59Get on in here, modern man.
05:01Touch me with all four hands.
05:05No, when I heard waterfall therapy, I instantly thought of laying down on like a table and
05:12then, you know, like a rain shower where it's just like a square and it just like sends the
05:17water straight down on you.
05:19Do they have this where that's like a whole shape of a body and it just like rains down
05:24just on you the whole entire time?
05:26I don't know.
05:27I don't know.
05:27And like, uh, like a relaxing.
05:30I'm not sure.
05:32Setting.
05:32Cause I might, you might do that.
05:34I might want to be rained on.
05:35I do.
05:35I think I would like to be rained on.
05:37I think I would like to be rained on.
05:39You don't seem like you'd like to be rained on.
05:41I'm a modern man.
05:42Hold on.
05:43You want to be nude on a table and rained upon.
05:46I think I would.
05:46Is this a fantasy?
05:47No.
05:48Is this a dream?
05:48Did you have a dream about it?
05:50Chuck's waterfall fantasy?
05:51No, I just, when it, when it struck me, I was like, what would a waterfall fantasy even
05:55be or like a therapy even be?
05:57And then I was like, okay, well, it would be like water falling on you.
06:00So then I was like, okay, so is it one of those rain style, uh, shower heads?
06:07They have a waterfall therapy rinse for your hair.
06:10No, that's not what I want.
06:12That would feel good on your head though.
06:14I think the description just said that they play sounds of a waterfall.
06:18Oh, Jesus.
06:19Okay.
06:19That's different.
06:20Tranquility.
06:21Oh yeah.
06:21Just get there after.
06:23Like you just want to pee yourself.
06:24Uh, the site goes on to say, that's not pee rebel in the extra touches crafted for the
06:31modern man, including the comfort of complimentary hot towels that envelope your skin in warmth.
06:37Think about it, man.
06:38You just, uh, you get one of these.
06:40Oh, they do.
06:40What?
06:41Luxuriate in the embrace of our table showers.
06:44Luxuriate.
06:45Oh, a table shower.
06:45Well, a table shower is different though.
06:48A rejuvenating addition designed to leave you feeling refreshed and energized.
06:52Yeah, I know, but a table shower is different than what I'm talking about.
06:55I'm talking about like an automated system that maybe sets out, like can change the pressure
07:01of the water that goes down and kind of like sweeps from your feet all the way up.
07:06Oh, well, kind of look there, Chuck.
07:07That could be you.
07:08A little bit.
07:09A little bit.
07:09That could be you nude on the table.
07:11Because a table shower generally.
07:13There's a lot of them.
07:14Look.
07:14I'd feel like a dog.
07:16Yeah.
07:16It's perfect.
07:18Dreams do come true.
07:19Chuck, go get you a table shower, man.
07:21That's not exactly what I was thinking, but so they have thought of this.
07:26There you are.
07:27There he is right there.
07:28He's a modern man.
07:29Look at how happy you get.
07:32You want a lady to shower you.
07:35I mean, that is generally you're being ridden, I think, at the same time.
07:38But, um.
07:39Oh, here's a couple that got it done, but they did it under like a cloth.
07:44Well, because, yeah, it would add some like weight to it.
07:47I don't know.
07:47I just, I feel like, uh, I don't like to be touched, right?
07:50Like, I don't want some stranger to touch me, but.
07:54But you wouldn't mind them showering you.
07:55Well, a shower, it's not a stranger.
07:56It's just like waters on you.
07:59But I feel like it's both.
08:00I feel like that hits you and then they scrub.
08:02A hundred percent these people touch you at the same time as they turn on the old shower.
08:06Like, because when that Russian lady just scrubbed me down in that surprise attack and
08:10that massage, she had like a handheld thing.
08:13And then, but then she like scrubbed this stuff into my skin, like salt scrub or something.
08:18Oh, yeah.
08:19See, I don't want to be scrubbed.
08:20I was scrubbed.
08:21I would just like to be rinsed.
08:22Yeah, like a rinse.
08:23Like a massage.
08:24Like, you know, some of those shower heads of the pulsating.
08:27Yeah.
08:28That'd be awesome.
08:30That's what I'm saying.
08:30It's just like a human car wash.
08:32It completely does your whole entire body at the same time.
08:34I don't want to be soaked and scrubbed.
08:36That looks awful to me.
08:37Yeah, none of this appeals to you?
08:39No.
08:39None of this appeals to you?
08:40Yeah.
08:40I don't like the setup like it is.
08:42This isn't how I would do it.
08:43At Chuck's Spa?
08:45Chuck's Day Spa?
08:46It's different.
08:47Beautiful.
08:47What's the four hands you're using there?
08:49There's no four hands.
08:52It's my feet and my hands.
08:53Oh, my God.
08:54Two hands of a modern man.
08:56Yeah.
08:57The two hands.
08:58The hands and feet of a modern man.
09:00Strong little hands.
09:00The tiniest of socks will rub you on your back.
09:04Oh, yeah.
09:04Yeah, let me stand upon you.
09:08Yeah, you can get it, Chuck.
09:10You can get like a human massage.
09:11It's not really what I'm after here, but that's closer, I think, to what I'm talking about right there with
09:18that lady.
09:22Um, but I don't know.
09:23I mean, so they've already thought of it.
09:25Yeah.
09:26It's called a Vichy shower, too.
09:29This one's just raining on his ass.
09:31That's what I want.
09:32You finally found it.
09:35He's so relaxed.
09:36Ass rain.
09:37Yeah.
09:37Oh, I think there's some rain coming down on his back.
09:40It's just light.
09:41Well, you can get, there's lots of places right here.
09:43Look, there's a Thai place you can go.
09:45That's what I would have thought.
09:46Yeah.
09:46That's what I would have thought.
09:48Right in the area, Chuck.
09:49Yeah.
09:49I've seen a few of those.
09:50You can get taken care of.
09:51I've seen a few of those massages in my day.
09:57Someone asked here, I'm assuming any place that offers a table shower is shady.
10:00Yeah.
10:01No, but there's lots of legit places.
10:02That table's dirty.
10:03Yeah, there's other people's skin.
10:04Well, like, you know, the pee thing.
10:09I'd be very concerned about that.
10:11The pee thing?
10:12That definitely happens.
10:13It definitely happens.
10:14People are just sitting there, and then they realize the water.
10:16They piss themselves on the table?
10:17The water makes them pee.
10:19No, get out.
10:20Yes.
10:20Or they're into that.
10:21Or they're into that.
10:22Oh, they're into that.
10:23That's different.
10:24Or they're into that.
10:24Well, also, don't you think for the right price,
10:29you're already on the table shower.
10:31If you don't think people are going to the table shower to get peed on.
10:36Peed on?
10:37Yeah.
10:38Dude, yeah, dude.
10:39Yes, it didn't even cross Dave's mind.
10:41What?
10:42That the lady might stand upon you and pee all over you.
10:45Mm-hmm.
10:45Yeah.
10:46Four hands, I get.
10:48Hot piss, I don't.
10:49You're not a modern man.
10:50You're not a modern man, Dave.
10:52I guess I'm not a modern man.
10:54You're behind the times.
10:57Get with the current modern man.
11:02Chuck is a modern man.
11:04Yeah.
11:04Do you like hot piss?
11:06Listen.
11:07I'm not averse to whatever.
11:11What does the lady want?
11:13There's one near you, too.
11:14Look right there.
11:15Oh, of course, yeah.
11:16Of course.
11:17Yep.
11:17Get it.
11:18Go and get it.
11:20Well, like I said, I mean, you know, the places that are near me,
11:23it's like there's full service stuff near me, which you wouldn't really think,
11:27but yep.
11:29That's the only one in the area, Chuck.
11:30It's only $30.
11:31That's what I'm saying.
11:32Well, because no one, I mean, I don't know, maybe no one touches you.
11:34That's what I would say.
11:35Our shower has seven shower heads that cascade water over you while you're lying down.
11:39You can combine it with scrubs, but you don't have to.
11:41Exactly.
11:43$30.
11:44There you go, dude.
11:46Go get your shower.
11:47Or I could just get in my own shower.
11:49Or you could do that.
11:52Or I could just go get in my own shower.
11:54You go into the strange place.
11:55Which has one of those things.
11:56Right, right.
11:56And I could just stand underneath it.
11:58Stand underneath it.
11:59Can still get a happy ending, too.
12:01That's true.
12:02The two-handed.
12:03That's true.
12:04No forehands, but just the two-handed.
12:05It would be wild, though, to put a chair in there.
12:09In your shower?
12:10Yeah, like a lounger.
12:13A lounge chair?
12:13I mean, a lot of people have, like, shower chairs that they, you know.
12:17Oh, sure.
12:17Ladies shave their legs and stuff.
12:20I have a little shelf, but I have a...
12:22But you want, like, a relaxing...
12:24Oh, yeah.
12:25Well, just put, like, an outdoor chair in there, I guess.
12:27That's what I'm saying.
12:28That's what I think it would look weird.
12:30I've got, like, all of my baseball chairs in there.
12:33Oh, yeah.
12:34That's nice.
12:35That's nice.
12:36I've got those shocks on them.
12:38I'm like, oh, I can.
12:39Rock.
12:40That's very nice.
12:42All right.
12:43I mean, no one's ready to go.
12:45Like, I mean, my cleaning lady would be thrown for a loop if she walked into the bathroom
12:49and saw that there was a...
12:51Was a chair in there?
12:51Yes.
12:52...outdoor chair.
12:53Yeah, she would.
12:54She'd be like, what is this guy up to?
12:55She probably already says that every time she comes to your house.
12:57Yeah, she wouldn't say a thing.
12:59Honestly, she wouldn't say a thing.
13:00No, she wouldn't.
13:00I already know.
13:01There's no way.
13:01She wouldn't say a thing.
13:02She's like, just check another one.
13:03Check another one.
13:06No.
13:07No.
13:07No.
13:07No.
13:08No.
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