- 9 months ago
Therapy Thursday: We Got Asked What To Do About A Lady's Son That Likes To Play With Explosives!
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00:00All right there, Nick. What up? All right, let's see. We got geniuses in here.
00:04We are here. We've actually been here all morning.
00:08Well, we don't become geniuses until we become therapists.
00:11Oh, after Dr. Nick.
00:12Yeah, we went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College. We're going to use this degree.
00:17Meredith, you ready?
00:18Oh, yes. Absolutely.
00:19Dobby, you in?
00:19Genius activated.
00:22All morning.
00:23Okay. 888-429-0941 is the number. If you got a question, go ahead and rock with us.
00:28Oh, we have one that came in out the 813. This lady needs help.
00:32It says, I have an issue with my son. My soon-to-be 17-year-old is very interested in explosives.
00:38He has been for years. I've been hoping this was a phase. Well, it's not.
00:42Last year, I even got a knock on my door from law enforcement because he was looking up bomb-making videos and websites.
00:48Now, let me be clear. His plan is to join the military after he graduates next year, focus on that, and eventually wants to join the bomb squad.
00:56But this really, really scares me. There's no way I can change his mind. I've been trying.
01:02I guess the therapy is for me. I'm so scared he's going to blow himself up or lose a hand or fingers or something.
01:08How can I let go of this fear and just be happy that my son is chasing his dreams?
01:12I don't know if that's ever going to go away because you want your kid always safe.
01:16And if he's going to enter a career like that, he's always going to be potentially in danger.
01:20I would be worried, but I would make sure that I flood him with information because you can go down to the police station and say,
01:28hey, my son is really interested in explosives. Can you have somebody talk to him?
01:32They have somebody there who would absolutely talk to him and kind of get him, first of all, get a good gauge on him.
01:38Secondly, identify him just in case he can do something silly.
01:42We'll fingerprint you now.
01:44If your son walk around the house smelling like gunpowder, we might want to get to know him.
01:48But, I mean, you can get the information so you can make sure that he can make the right decisions
01:53and learn a little bit more while he's preparing.
01:56If he's going to do some military service, that's going to be great because that'll get him A-1 training.
02:03And then he comes back and he can, you know, join the force or do whatever he can to get in the bomb squad.
02:08And you have helped him get on that path.
02:10So he's always going to love you for that.
02:11You know, it's actually like a part of like law enforcement or military that we rarely think about
02:15is like the moms and dads at home that are probably having sleepless nights and watching the news.
02:21And when something happens in the Ukraine or in this neighborhood that you're patrolling,
02:25they're probably freaking out.
02:27Yeah.
02:27Of course they are.
02:28And then you have other people who work for government agents.
02:30I have a friend I went to college with.
02:32He works and we don't know what he does.
02:33Right.
02:34Like his wife answers the social media stuff.
02:36Oh, wow.
02:37So like your family sometimes can't, you know, your extended family can't know.
02:42So, yeah, help him out.
02:44Get him as much education as you can and kind of buy into his dream.
02:48And that'll make your bond even stronger.
02:51All right.
02:51What else we got?
02:52A freak show out of the 727.
02:54Good morning, freaks.
02:55I own a small business and it's pretty successful, but I suck at saving day to day money.
03:00It has become a stress with money because I spend it just as fast as I make it.
03:05Do I give my business up and get another job or how do I learn to save so I can pay my bills
03:11without stress?
03:12I mean, giving your business up isn't going to help your money, like your irresponsibility with money.
03:18I think somebody that's in a situation like that, I think it starts with getting a budget
03:23and following it to T. Map out all your bills, map out your different expenses, money coming in,
03:30money coming out, a lot of percentage to save or a flat fee to save.
03:35And you have to check back with that budget weekly, if not monthly, but you have to have the self-discipline to stick to it.
03:43And that's it.
03:44You can't stray from it.
03:46Lists are going to be your friend if you're a boss.
03:49Because you have so many things going on.
03:51If you own your own business, like you said, putting down a budget, putting it on paper,
03:54a legal pad in front of you is always your friend.
03:57I was always told by people who were a lot smarter than me.
03:59So if you're going to make a list, add this to the list, stuff that you want to do with your business,
04:05stuff that you want to save for, make it a list, and then put that on the wall and check off the stuff.
04:10You start checking off things and you start realizing I'm not spending on frugal stuff.
04:15I mean, like frivolous stuff out there and I'm being frugal so I can get these goals.
04:19And as you knock down that eight and now it's five that you want, now it's four that you want,
04:24and you're seeing your business do better, you're killing.
04:27Like that list is going to be a motivator for you and put it right in front of you.
04:31Like if you do your online shopping for Amazon right there at your office desk,
04:35then put that list right next to the keyboard so when you get ready to start clicking away,
04:39doing your Meredith business, you know, and doing all your prime,
04:43you'll see that list right there and it'll motivate you to back up.
04:46And don't give up your business though.
04:48That's nuts.
04:48Yeah, that was about the dumbest thing.
04:51All of us who heard it out loud was like, she didn't mean that.
04:54Damn sure didn't mean that.
04:55Um, let's see here.
04:57Uh, we can squeeze in one.
04:59Uh, this says, uh, how do you get your man to take part in cleaning the house?
05:05Forget jobs, forget gender roles.
05:07The time for being a woman's job for cleaning is way over.
05:11I start cleaning.
05:12He goes for a run or to the gym.
05:14I walk out of the bathroom with a mop bucket and he's already gone.
05:18Can somebody help me translate that cleaning is both of our business?
05:22Well, he obviously doesn't care.
05:24And obviously you've let this slide for a really long time.
05:27It's called, you need to have a sit down and a heart to heart and how you feel like all those responsibilities are on your plate.
05:33And especially, I don't know your situation if you both work, but if you both are working and you're both contributing to the house,
05:38then that also needs to go ahead on into doing chores and keeping up with everything.
05:43You just have to have a clear cut list of, of who handles what.
05:48Yeah.
05:48And some people prefer to dust.
05:50Some people prefer to do laundry and all that and see what, what he would like to do.
05:54He has to help.
05:54Like in my household, I'll admit my girl definitely does a lot more of that than I do, but it doesn't absolve me.
06:01Like I definitely still have a couple of things that if they're not done, she's going to be looking at me sideways,
06:06especially because we both know that it's kind of lopsided.
06:10So like the least I could do is the few things that are on my list.
06:14Dishes.
06:14Like why are they dishes in the sink all the time?
06:16You got a list.
06:17And honestly, the more that you communicate with each other, like say, say for instance, he wants to go out for a date night.
06:22When you get ready for the date night, walk past him.
06:25Like he's dressed and ready for you.
06:26Walk past him with the bucket.
06:28Oh yeah.
06:28Like it's eight o'clock at night.
06:29Walk past him with the bucket.
06:30He's like, babe, I thought we was going out.
06:31Oh, I'm sorry.
06:32I'm still cleaning.
06:33Yeah.
06:33I'm busy.
06:34Let him know.
06:35I'm busy because somebody didn't help me.
06:37And then guess what?
06:38Once you miss one of them shots to Ocean Prime or 80Vs, he going to pick up the Fabuloso.
06:43Like in my house, I'm the litter box guy.
06:45And I know that I have to handle that every single day.
06:49Like at some point in my day, I got to get in there and clean that litter box.
06:53She looking at you and the cat looking at you.
06:55Right.
06:55Because if not, it's not going to get done.
06:57It's her cat.
06:58Foxy's like, rah.
06:59Right, right.
07:00What's up with my box?
07:01Really?
07:02Rah.
07:02My husband and I are trying something new that I read about in Cosmo.
07:07We're trying honesty over everything.
07:09It says where you specifically say what you mean and mean what you say.
07:16We've been fighting more than we ever have when we've started doing this.
07:21How is honesty giving us all of this drama?
07:24What's our problem?
07:26Doing this exercise sounds like is the problem.
07:29I mean, do you have to be completely blunt every single time you have a conversation with your significant other?
07:35Is honesty ever bad?
07:36Honestly, it's a good thing, but to go in depth every single time about everything, I feel like it's completely unnecessary.
07:44If you're telling somebody what you honestly believe, they might not be prepared to hear it, but aren't you better for knowing what they honestly feel than them lying?
07:53Yes, but you also have to be in a relationship with somebody that is going to want to be with somebody that's going to be that blunt.
08:00I don't think honesty is 100% of the time the best way.
08:06Seriously.
08:07Sometimes you have to take other people's feelings and how they're going to take their response into consideration.
08:15And sometimes I think omission helps.
08:18You know, there are certain cases where...
08:20Omission is a lie.
08:21Certain times you don't want to put all your cards on the table.
08:24I don't want to hurt your feelings.
08:25I definitely don't want to hear that these pants are too tight and I need to change, you know, or I look fat or something like that.
08:31You know, sometimes you don't need to go there.
08:33If you're being honest with your person, that means I was always told that you love them.
08:38You're investing in them.
08:40You're trusting them.
08:41So they need to trust you with, like, you know, some sort of understanding maybe.
08:47Yeah.
08:47Like, give them credit for being honest.
08:49You might not want to hear what's coming.
08:51Right.
08:51Like, hey, you slipping.
08:53Or, hey, you did this bad.
08:55Or, hey, baby, this recipe ain't really hitting.
08:57You know, but at least we know we're going to be better after it.
09:01It's all about the delivery.
09:02But what if we're worse after it?
09:04What if that opened up Pandora's box to a whole other list of problems?
09:08And that's what's going on right now.
09:09But I mean...
09:10You can be selective.
09:12But I told you the truth.
09:13Yeah.
09:14You said Cosmos said tell you the truth.
09:16Well, I think we need to step off of that just a little bit.
09:18It's supposed to be pink.
09:20Like, I mean, this pork chop gravy ain't supposed to be pink, man.
09:23You also don't want to keep hurting your partner's feelings at the end of the day.
09:26Maybe they're a little bit more sensitive.
09:27There's a lot of doctors that are chiming in.
09:29The lab coats are on text saying you need to sugarcoat it.
09:32There's nothing wrong with that.
09:33Somebody says, also, wow, oh, wait.
09:37Sometimes you got to sugarcoat it.
09:40Truth hurts.
09:41Other person said acceptance is the key.
09:43Okay.
09:44Because y'all don't think alike.
09:45That's why y'all are fighting.
09:46And that's okay that we don't think alike.
09:48But you also don't have to talk to me like that every single time we have a conversation.
09:52I mean, sometimes.
09:53And we have different moods every single day.
09:55Like, maybe today I have thick skin.
09:56Maybe tomorrow I'm a little bit more sensitive.
10:00We're human.
10:00Y'all are complicated.
10:01Women?
10:02You can't tell.
10:03Like, somebody just said, this is a trap.
10:05Being honest is a trap.
10:07It can be.
10:07You want honesty.
10:08It can be because if you ask the right question and somebody gives you an honest response, you might not be prepared for that.
10:15Just switch it up every now and then.
10:17But honesty is still good.
10:19I'm a big fan of sugarcoating things.
10:22So don't.
10:22You can be honest with me.
10:23But let's wrap it up.
10:24Do you think any of my friends are very attractive?
10:26What if I do and I tell you and now you can't get that out of your head?
10:31Yep.
10:32Or do I lie?
10:33Or do I say, baby, I don't think anybody's attractive but you.
10:36Rocking hard place.
10:37You know?
10:38That's a good lie.
10:38But you lied.
10:39That's a good lie.
10:40And it's probably for everybody.
10:42Because I know your girlfriend.
10:43She got some fine friends.
10:44Right.
10:44And it's probably for everybody's benefit.
10:46Yours, hers, theirs.
10:48If you lie.
10:49Yeah, really.
10:50Damn.
10:51Some of these questions are a trap.
10:52Yeah, for sure.
10:54That's why Cosmo put it in there.
10:55There you go.
10:56Therapy Thursday is a wrap.
10:59Hooked up by the best bit of Dover, man.
11:01We got more coming up.
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