Magic the Gathering Bust

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a game store in Florida that was busted for not following the 'stay-at-home' order and imagine how the nerds inside reacted to the police showing up.

Transcript

00:00The owner of a store that specializes in card games like Magic the Gathering and Transformers

00:11was arrested by Pinellas County deputies for violating the Safer at Home order.

00:17Was he letting people come inside to play their games?

00:20Yes, he was.

00:21Ah, shame, shame.

00:23Alan Wood owns Kitchen Table Games on 66th Street in Pinellas Park.

00:28He faces charges of operating a non-essential business and traveling to operate a non-essential business.

00:33They were called to the 36-year-old's business five times over the past week.

00:39We're not stopping.

00:42What a crazy time for the cops, too.

00:44They have to bust up a raid, a magic gathering.

00:49They kick in the door and everyone just poops their pants.

00:52Oh, my God, it's a gun!

00:54Jesus Christ!

00:54It's a cop with a gun!

00:56It's a copper!

00:58Cast a spell!

00:59Cast a spell!

01:00Lightning!

01:01Lightning!

01:03Tap the mana!

01:04You don't have enough mana to tap to cast a spell on this officer!

01:07Oh, my God!

01:11And they really got to touch a real woman!

01:13I'm going to jail!

01:15Throw imaginary lightning bolts.

01:17Yeah.

01:18Lightning.

01:19They wouldn't be ready.

01:21No.

01:21That'd be the easiest thing cops have ever had to bust up.

01:25Easiest.

01:25You can just, like, knock on the door.

01:28Possibly the smelliest, too.

01:31Basement dwellers.

01:32Oh, man.

01:32Social distancing guidelines were not being followed.

01:36I mean, I know they weren't being followed with each other, but you know they weren't coming

01:41into any other human contact.

01:43That's probably the only human contact they've had.

01:45You know what I mean?

01:46I mean, it's one of the safest gatherings that there can be, is a magic gathering.

01:51Yeah, they haven't been social.

01:54No.

01:55They're not.

01:55A couple bags of Doritos and some pop and some soda pop cans.

01:58Yeah.

01:59Maybe some candy.

01:59Maybe a dirty magazine if they got the real rebellious nerds.

02:02Dirty magazine.

02:03Dirty magazine.

02:04Other than that, it's, you know, some 20-sided dice and some cards.

02:08Yeah.

02:08They made contact with the owner, who says, I'm not closing up shop.

02:15Of course.

02:16Of course.

02:17So they took him into custody.

02:19Yeah.

02:19He was booked at the Pinellas County Jail, and he looks like he owns the Magic the Gathering

02:24store for sure.

02:26Oh, my God.

02:29Joke's on the government.

02:30I'm really a wizard.

02:33I'll just.

02:34Never take me.

02:35Oh, my God.

02:36I'll just use my teleportation skill.

02:39I've casted a spell of immunity on my immune system, and the coronavirus will never get

02:43me, and I will never cause anybody else to get sick of you.

02:48So this store, Kitchen Table Games, they specialize in Magic the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh, which I've

02:53heard of, but there's a Transformers card game, too?

02:56Oh, yeah.

02:56There's tons of different card games.

02:59Transformers, Walking Dead, Lord of the Rings.

03:01Yeah, there's a lot of the games that are all similar where you battle, like, Pokemon

03:05and Yu-Gi-Oh and all that stuff.

03:07And you have to do it in person, right?

03:09There's some, like, Magic the Gathering technically does have, I can't believe I know so much about

03:12Magic, like, where's Andy when he needs him?

03:14I know, I know.

03:15He actually was playing with the cards.

03:17I haven't played with the cards since, like, junior high school, and I decided I want to,

03:20you know, get touched by a woman in my life.

03:23Yes.

03:23But you can actually play Magic the Gathering online, and you can still buy packs, and you

03:28can get cards and all that stuff.

03:29And if you do buy Magic the Gathering packs, you put in a code, and you get certain cards

03:32in your online deck.

03:34And so you can do all this online, too.

03:36Because they have big, there's big Twitch streams, isn't there, of people playing Magic?

03:40People streaming on Twitch, and, you know, one of the guys on the station here, like,

03:45he's almost got me involved in playing it online, because he makes it sound so cool, because

03:49coming up soon, they're going to have giant kaju monsters, so you could actually get Godzilla

03:53and Godzilla monsters in your deck.

03:55And you can battle.

03:56Don't do it, James.

03:57Don't do it, James.

03:59Don't do it.

04:00He's right on the edge.

04:01Godzilla card games.

04:02He's right on the edge.

04:03He's going to be swallowed up by the nerd Sarlacc.

04:07I'm going to enjoy every moment of it.

04:08But it's crazy.

04:09Like, you'd think that this card nerd would back down when the cops were like, shut it

04:13down.

04:14And he was like, I'm not shutting it down.

04:15I'll never back down, coppers.

04:16I'm not shutting it down.

04:17He's probably...

04:18He's messing with the most powerful wizard.

04:20Yeah, he's...

04:20In all whatever state this story is taking place.

04:22His eyes are so close together.

04:24Well, you know it's...

04:25The most powerful wizard of Florida.

04:27It's a dead giveaway, at least.

04:29Mm-hmm.

04:30I make Harry Potter look like a bitch.

04:32Well, yeah.

04:33Now he's the bitch behind bars.

04:34Yeah.

04:35He's in the Pinellas County Jail this morning because he wouldn't shut down his magic.

04:38I will cast my protective spell of analis rapias.

04:43You'll never penetrate me.

04:46And then two minutes later.

04:48Ow!

04:49Oh!

04:50It hurts!

04:51The spell's not working!

04:52Ow!

04:53Call my mom!

04:54He's safe, though.

04:55No one's going to want everything.

04:56Well, yeah.

04:57No thanks.

04:58I think his booty's fine.

04:59Yeah, yeah.

05:00It'll be safe and fine.

05:02Yeah!

05:02Okay.

05:03How would you like to keep it open?

05:06Bye!

05:07No!

05:08Bye!

05:09Bye!

05:10Bye!

05:11Bye!

05:12Bye!

05:13Bye!

05:14Bye!

05:15Bye!

05:16Bye!

05:21Bye!

05:23Bye!

05:24Bye!

05:27Bye!

05:28Bye!

05:29Bye!

05:30Bye!

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