- 1 day ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who was arrested for stealing lap dances in Florida. Then, hear from listeners about their wild strip club experiences.
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00:00Reel, pe-pew, pe-do, pe-do!
00:02Playing with your toys again, Chuck?
00:04Yeah!
00:04Cotton Candy 5-Hour Energy flavor is back, it makes me feel like a kid again, you should
00:09try it!
00:10Oh proclaiming the Bosn, we give it's here!
00:12Oh there he is!
00:20Have you heard of laplifting?
00:24No, I have not.
00:25That's what the crime is called
00:27When you get a lap dance and don't pay for it
00:30You're a lap lifter
00:32Worked with a guy who did that
00:34He got lap dances and didn't pay for them?
00:36Yeah, we got stuck with an $800 bill
00:39$800 they wanted
00:40And we were like
00:42You know who he is
00:43You can find him
00:45This guy that we
00:48A little itchy
00:49Oh my god, he walked out on a tab like that?
00:52He must have been drunk
00:53Oh, must have been
00:54Yeah
00:55But this guy, a drunk man in Florida
00:58Has been arrested after getting 15 straight
01:01Private dances at a gentleman's club
01:03That's a lot
01:04And then trying to skip out on the bill
01:06Actually, it's quite a bargain
01:08$40 a dance
01:10That seems low, does it not?
01:11To me, I come from a school of time
01:14When it was like $10 at the table
01:16And like $20 back
01:17I remember it always being $20
01:19Yeah, $20 in the back
01:21I think in this day and age, $40 a dance is cheap
01:24I don't know
01:24I would assume
01:25Oh, I don't even know
01:27I mean, now you're getting jerked
01:29Sure
01:30You're getting a lot more
01:31Here's the dude here
01:32Oh no
01:32She had to know at least a little bit
01:35That there was no chance of getting paid here
01:36His mugshot is up at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com
01:39Police allege that Roberto Maldonado, 46
01:43Got 15 straight private dances at Rain
01:48A gentleman's club in Clearwater, Florida
01:50As I mentioned, the dances cost $40 a piece
01:53And an additional $50 fee
01:58Brought his tab up to $650
02:00Wow
02:01However, after Maldonado enjoyed the lap dance marathon
02:03He refused to pay the stripper's bill
02:05Instead, offering only $50
02:09Which is all he had on him
02:10Oh, geez
02:12When the cops arrived at the club around 1.15 in the morning
02:14A cop explained to Maldonado
02:16Who appeared to be under the influence
02:18That payment was required
02:20For the services he had received
02:23They say he started to speak in circles
02:25And he refused to make any effort
02:27To pay his lap dance balance
02:29Yeah, it is wild
02:30Because it's like
02:32There is no real proof of, like, services rendered
02:36It's not like, oh, I have the product
02:39That I should have paid for
02:41It's just like this thing that happened
02:43You know, in the back
02:44Are there cameras in the champagne room?
02:49You know, I've seen some stuff from the champagne room
02:52So maybe you could be like
02:53Let's check the security footage
02:54I don't know, though
02:55But I would feel like it would be
02:56Against their best interest
02:58To have cameras
02:58You swallowed his wiener
03:00You swallowed his wiener
03:01It doesn't seem like it goes together
03:02You know
03:02What they might have
03:04Is like a camera
03:05At the entrance
03:06Of the champagne room
03:09Right?
03:09So you see when someone
03:11Walked in together
03:12And then you see
03:13When they come out
03:14But all the stuff inside
03:16The hand jobs
03:17The mouth jobs
03:17The RJ's
03:18All that stuff
03:19You probably don't want that on film
03:21RJ's
03:23Kicking it up
03:24In the champagne room
03:25You know it happens
03:26Oh, you know it
03:27I'm sure many guys
03:28Have licked many a lady's rear
03:29Oh my god
03:30So many, dude
03:31I was offered the nipple
03:32And I declined politely
03:34To suck it?
03:35Mm-hmm
03:35She wanted me to suck her nipple
03:37And I was like
03:37No, thank you
03:38No, thank you
03:39I was very, very young
03:40It's the only time
03:41I've gotten a lap dance
03:42In this trip
03:42And she like put it
03:44She presented
03:45No, no, no
03:46No, thank you
03:46She presented
03:47Oh, she did
03:48Oh, no, thank you
03:49I will pass
03:52That's yours
03:52That's yours
03:53Was she offended?
03:55No, I think she was just
03:56Trying to give me
03:57A fun time
03:59Right, okay
03:59She wasn't offended
04:00She wasn't like
04:01Mm-mm
04:02I think she was more like
04:03What are you, gay?
04:06What are you, gay?
04:08No one ever offered
04:09No one ever offered me
04:11Oh, you never got the nip?
04:12No, you know
04:13They don't give the chubby man
04:14Anything free
04:15Turning down a stripper
04:16Is wild
04:17But I'm sure it happens a lot
04:19Yeah
04:20I had a
04:21Like I can remember being young
04:23And there was like something
04:24And she said something
04:25About like
04:26Increasing the show's
04:29Visibility
04:30And I was like
04:31No, I'm just
04:31Just
04:33We're just gonna keep this
04:35What?
04:36Normal
04:36There was
04:37She was gonna do things
04:39And
04:40Stretch stuff?
04:42Manipulate air
04:43I was like
04:43No
04:44Thanks
04:45Uh-uh
04:46Nope
04:47They were just looking
04:48For an upsell charge
04:49You know
04:50Like kind of like
04:50Do you want to get fries
04:51With that?
04:53You know
04:53You wanna
04:54Would you like an apple pie?
04:55Supersized
04:56You want the supersized?
04:56Do you know what I mean?
04:57Like it's that kind of thing
04:58It was there
04:59It was like
04:59This is going okay
05:00But would you like me
05:01To increase
05:02How about this?
05:03You wanna see the insides?
05:05I would've seen the insides
05:07No, I mean
05:08No, it's gonna cost
05:09It was gonna
05:09Oh, how much
05:10Do they talk money?
05:12I can't
05:13Yeah
05:13Oh yeah
05:13She said
05:1420 bucks for the inside
05:15It was more than that
05:16But it was like
05:17And I was like
05:18Keep those doors closed then
05:20I'm like
05:20Listen
05:21I don't need to see
05:22A Goatsy or something
05:23Crazy
05:24For
05:2580 bucks
05:26When I made
05:274 bucks an hour
05:28If the stripper presented
05:28Her b-hole to you
05:30They presented to you
05:31But to
05:31For you to dine on
05:33That is crazy
05:34You can't
05:35You can't dine on
05:36Do never
05:37Do never do it
05:38Like when
05:39When did you go back there?
05:41How many other
05:43What else has happened
05:45In the whole night
05:47Before you've decided
05:48Like you
05:49That's a man soup
05:51That you're
05:51Dining upon
05:53Jesus
05:54I just
05:55Be careful out there
05:57On both sides
05:57Yes
05:58Well they
05:59I mean
05:59You know
05:59You're there to make money
06:01You're doing it
06:02Cause that's how you wanna make money
06:03One and only lap dance I have
06:05She put her lady button
06:06Right in my face
06:06And said
06:07Do you feel that?
06:08I don't even know
06:09What you're talking about
06:10Yes I do
06:10No
06:11Yes I do
06:12Yes I do
06:14I mean
06:14It's just wild
06:15It's a wild time
06:18Here's
06:19Well this is a wild
06:20Couple
06:20Wife and I
06:21Always go
06:21And we take a dancer
06:23In the back
06:24And we love on her feet
06:27Oh these poor girls
06:28They seem to enjoy it
06:29And we never have any issues
06:30Oh they seem to enjoy it
06:32Like do people not understand
06:34What's going on in there
06:36Professional actresses
06:37Like so many guys
06:38Are like
06:39I really think that woman
06:40Really likes me
06:42You have to pretend
06:43What?
06:44That's a crazy couple
06:46I've convinced my wife
06:47To come with me
06:48To the strip club
06:48And we're going to suck
06:50On strippers feet together
06:51I mean
06:52Holy hell
06:53Where have those feet been?
06:54Maybe it's her
06:55All on the ground
06:55They've been on that stage
06:58I'd bring bleach
07:00And a cloth
07:01Oh my gosh
07:01That's all Dave does
07:02Is actually just
07:03Washes their feet
07:04Let's clean those
07:05He's like
07:06Jesus
07:06I hit that with a
07:06Clorox wipe real fast
07:07I just
07:08Give it a little
07:09I'm not putting that
07:10Right in my mouth
07:11There's no way
07:12No way
07:13First lap dance
07:14The stripper wanted
07:15A kiss at the end
07:18She smelt
07:19Bad
07:19Oh no
07:21They never smell bad
07:22And she wanted me
07:23To kiss down there
07:24Oh no
07:25God no
07:27Thank you
07:29Went in for the kiss
07:32Oh no
07:34That's how you get
07:35Stuff on your face
07:36Do you still have
07:37Your lips?
07:38No
07:38I mean he's got extra
07:40I don't know
07:40He's got some extra stuff
07:41That pops up
07:42Every once in a while
07:43I mean for sure
07:44Right?
07:44Oh my god
07:45You're getting something
07:46Do you still have your lips?
07:47You're getting something
07:48Excuse me sir
07:48Do you still have your lips?
07:49It's like sticking them
07:49In a bucket of acid
07:50No
07:51Oh my god
07:52Why would you
07:52If it smells
07:53It should smell like
07:55Strawberries and cream
07:56Normal
07:56Just not fish and chips
07:58It smell
07:59Normal
08:00I mean I'm not
08:01There's no way
08:03There's no way
08:04Another guy said
08:05I turned down
08:06Sucking a nipple
08:06Just like Jason
08:08Because all I could think of
08:09Is how many guys
08:10Sucked that nipple
08:10That night
08:11All right
08:11All of them
08:12I'm like I'm not
08:13You're not
08:13Yeah
08:13I didn't have anything
08:15That she was like
08:16Oh look at this stud
08:17In my jeans
08:20I was like a kid
08:22Pretty cool
08:23Went to Pittsburgh
08:23For my bachelor party
08:25My buddy
08:25Walked in and sat down
08:27Instantly told the first stripper
08:28He saw that he wanted to
08:30Dine on her rear
08:32We didn't see him
08:33The rest of the night
08:34Oh my god
08:35You die
08:39I feel like
08:40If that
08:40If you
08:41If you take
08:411.5 seconds
08:43To
08:44Walker told me
08:45I had AIDS
08:48If it takes you
08:49One second
08:49To ask a stripper
08:52Or to tell her
08:53That you want to
08:54Dine upon her backside
08:55And then you disappear
08:56You know what you did
08:57Couples are crazy
08:58You guys
08:59Yeah Dave
09:00Me and my girl
09:01Go to the strip club
09:02All the time
09:02We go in the back room
09:03With the girl
09:04The stripper
09:05Will get me all excited
09:06Then my girl
09:07Will finish me off
09:08In front of the stripper
09:10Oh well that's just
09:11They're making money
09:12Not even working
09:13Barely working
09:16I guess that's easy work
09:17Right
09:17That's easy work
09:19That's easy work
09:20Yeah
09:21Oh fire up
09:22And watch
09:23Well probably just
09:24Dances on him
09:25And then he gets going
09:26Little do you know
09:27She has two glass eyes
09:28She can't see it anyway
09:29Perfect
09:32It's my favorite
09:33Kind of strippers
09:34Who could be offended
09:35During this discussion
09:36Oh yeah no
09:36They're not listening
09:38I just
09:38I'm amazed
09:39That the amount of couples
09:40The amount of kinky couples
09:41That go
09:42Yeah
09:43I think a lot of it
09:44Is still
09:45Is that
09:47That's poor Dave
09:49Poor Dave
09:51Went with some co-workers
09:52To a strip club
09:53In Canada
09:56Stripper put a sucker
09:58In her
09:58And then the co-worker
10:02Aided after
10:03Yeah
10:03Oh yeah
10:03Yep
10:04Many guys
10:05Walker told me
10:06I had eight
10:07Yep
10:08I mean it's not
10:10Recommended guys
10:10You gotta keep
10:12Yourself together
10:12What was it
10:14Blow pot
10:14It doesn't go into
10:16It doesn't go into
10:17The type
10:17What flavor
10:19Butterscotch
10:19Dumb dumb
10:20I don't know
10:21I'm a sucker
10:22For one of those
10:24You're not very specific
10:25With that
10:25Well I know
10:26They're good
10:27They are the best ones
10:28They're good
10:28They are the best ones
10:29You know
10:30Strawberry blow pot
10:33Went to a local
10:34Detroit strip club
10:35With my older brother
10:36For the first time
10:38My oldest brother
10:39Offered to buy me
10:40A lap dance
10:40The girl I pointed to
10:41Comes over
10:42Shakes her boob
10:43Pinched her nip
10:44And squirted me
10:45With milk
10:45Oh boy
10:46We left
10:47Oh no
10:49Walker told me
10:50I had eight
10:51Yep
10:53Yep
10:53I don't know
10:54What I would have done
10:56If when she
10:56Offered it
10:57And she squirted
11:01They would have
11:02I would have been
11:03In a sense of
11:04Of awe
11:05And wonder
11:06I really would have
11:07Been like
11:08I can't
11:08I can't even believe
11:10What's happening
11:11As long as it
11:12Didn't happen to me
11:13Like if I saw
11:14Someone else get
11:16Shot like that
11:17I'd be like
11:17Oh my god
11:18Oh my god
11:20He's into it
11:21Crazy
11:22Oh my god
11:23Crazy
11:23This is wild
11:24We're talking about
11:25It's turned into
11:26Tales from the strip club
11:27That I never would have
11:28Expected
11:28But this guy
11:30In Florida
11:31Was arrested
11:32For getting like
11:32A ton of lap dances
11:33And not paying for it
11:34Now everyone's
11:35Sharing their stories
11:36With us
11:38I went to the back
11:39For a private dance
11:40At a strip club
11:41And the gal says
11:44You want the
11:44Goat's brain special
11:46The goat's brain
11:47What
11:48You want the
11:48Goat's brain special
11:50I think I know
11:50What she's gonna do
11:51I know what she's gonna
11:53I was curious
11:55So I agreed
11:56No
11:5720 bucks up front
11:59Can I guess
11:59You wanna guess
12:01Just tell the story
12:02When it's right there
12:03Let me guess
12:04Okay well then
12:05She's ready
12:05Okay it's ready
12:06It's right there
12:07She's gonna
12:08Push a prolapse
12:11Butt
12:11Out of her
12:13Like she's gonna
12:14Prolapse her butt
12:17He's insane
12:18You guys
12:18Is he right
12:19No he's not
12:20Thank god
12:20So it's
12:21What he said
12:22Is worse than
12:23Yes
12:24Lisa
12:24Way worse
12:25No that's not that
12:26Big a deal
12:27No that can't be
12:27That big a deal
12:28Oh that's great
12:29Well what's the brain
12:31She pulled my balls out
12:33And massaged them
12:34With her lady bits
12:35What the hell
12:37The goat's brain special
12:38Goat's brain
12:40Prolapse
12:41What the hell
12:42That would have
12:42Shocked the world
12:43You ever seen that
12:45You ever seen the people
12:46That can just do that
12:47That's what I thought
12:48She had that skill
12:49I was like
12:50Oh my god
12:51Oh no
12:52You're wild man
12:54I'm just saying
12:55I've seen it all
12:55And uh
12:56You're not ready for it
12:58In real life
12:58I don't think
12:59I would love to
13:00Get set someone up
13:00To show Dave that
13:02I don't need to see
13:03A lady's prolapse
13:05You do
13:05Cause then
13:05She has to
13:06Push it back
13:07You know what
13:08Nothing
13:09St. Patrick's day
13:09Okay get out of here
13:12I need to get on the horn
13:13To find somebody
13:13I need prolapse
13:15And strippers out there
13:17Um
13:18Just do me a favor
13:19Look it up
13:20Just to see if it exists
13:21No no
13:22Not to book it
13:23Not to book it
13:23We're never gonna book it
13:24I wanna know
13:25If someone has that
13:27Do they advertise
13:28That skill
13:30Cause that's nuts
13:31My buddy went down
13:33On a stripper
13:33In Mexico
13:34Oh
13:35Walker told me
13:36I had age
13:36Playing it for every story
13:38Well because
13:39Every single time
13:40You get it
13:40You're at risk
13:41I know
13:41You get it
13:42Every time
13:43You know how
13:44The beach
13:45They have colors
13:45When you're most at risk
13:46From like
13:47Yeah
13:48Yeah
13:48Red flag
13:48Red
13:49It's red flag
13:50At a strip club
13:51Every time
13:52Yep
13:52Yep
13:54Um
13:54My boss
13:56Had a stripper
13:57Put
13:58Her titty
13:59In his mouth
13:59He got strep throat
14:02Well
14:02Because like
14:04The other person said
14:05How many other people
14:06Have done that
14:06So someone in the
14:08In the club that night
14:10Had strep
14:12And they
14:13They dined upon
14:14The nipple as well
14:16Got a nice
14:16HJ
14:17Oh no
14:18Jason's having
14:19Emotional reaction
14:20In there
14:20Well of course
14:21Well it's prolapse
14:22For
14:22I've found like
14:23An entire
14:25Category
14:26Get out
14:27I don't know
14:27I don't know about
14:27Strippers
14:28With the talons
14:29Okay
14:29So you're not
14:29You're not finding that
14:30They don't advertise
14:32At least
14:32Do you see why
14:33I thought it might be
14:34The pink brain
14:35Yeah
14:35Yeah
14:36Thank you
14:37But it would be more than
14:38It should be more than
14:39$20 or whatever
14:40For whatever's
14:41Happening here
14:41I guess that's true
14:42Uh
14:43Got a nice
14:44HJ from a
14:44Deaf stripper
14:46Right after boot camp
14:47In Los Angeles
14:48Except she couldn't hear
14:49When I said
14:49I had finished
14:51Oh
14:52Keep going then
14:57Went to a
14:58Fort Myers strip club
14:59With co-workers
14:59We all got lap dances
15:01One
15:01Licked her own
15:02Vajayjay
15:02It's impossible
15:03It's an impossibility
15:06I know it's impossible
15:09I think
15:09I've searched for that
15:10Like the holy
15:11I've seen something
15:12That didn't look fake
15:13Oh no
15:14It's all
15:14It's always fake
15:15It's always fake
15:16There's
15:17It's impossible
15:17I've seen the most
15:18Flexible thing
15:19That's like my holy grail
15:20And if I could find it
15:22You've been saying that
15:23For years
15:24It's my holy grail
15:25It's Indiana Chuck
15:27Yeah
15:29That's my arc
15:30That's my arc
15:31Self-aid
15:32Vajayjay liquor
15:33And it just can't
15:34It just won't happen
15:36You can't find it
15:37I've seen the most
15:38Flexible Russian women
15:39Of all time
15:40And they cannot do it
15:43You okay man?
15:45Oh I've been through it
15:46I'm tired
15:47A lot of prolapse stuff
15:48Over there
15:48There's so much
15:49I know
15:50Cause really
15:50You kept investigating
15:51When we had way moved on
15:52So I can't help it
15:53It's like my
15:55Did you see
15:56Some that could just
15:57Do it though
15:58Like on command
15:59Type of thing
15:59Well it's like
16:00They're
16:02They're engaged
16:03In some activity
16:04Oh wow
16:05Some of that too
16:06Yeah
16:06They
16:07I don't even want
16:08To say the word
16:09I know you don't
16:09I don't want to say it
16:10That's fine
16:11We don't have to
16:13It's not great
16:14Starts with a G
16:17Ends with an 8
16:19Oh
16:21Okay
16:22Does that make sense?
16:23Yes
16:24Okay
16:24Yep
16:25Mmhmm
16:25You want to see it Dave?
16:27No
16:28I'm good
16:28Oh no
16:28He can't handle it
16:30I don't think he could handle that
16:31I can't
16:32Yes you can
16:32I can't
16:33No he could
16:33I don't think he could
16:34I don't think he could
16:35Nope
16:36Nope
16:37Was it a strip club?
16:38On a snowmobile trip
16:40I was wearing a nice winter sweater
16:44The stripper told me she would do anything for my sweater
16:47And I turned her down because I'm a chubby guy and I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath
16:51Oh
16:52I still regret it to this day
16:54Oh my god
16:58No you can't
16:59I'm nude under here
17:00Don't you go around
17:02I mean go ask your buds
17:04Yeah
17:04Hey I need to borrow your shirt
17:05A shirt
17:06I mean don't have sex with the snowmobile stripper
17:10No
17:12What's that?
17:13The up north snowmobile stripper?
17:15We went to one
17:16We went to one
17:17One time
17:18We almost got killed by all the locals actually
17:20Because every
17:23Girl that was working
17:25Her boyfriend was there
17:27It's just like a small town
17:29It's a small town
17:30They're like the
17:31All these guys that are with the girls
17:33And so like one of my buddies
17:35He's got a little
17:35You know
17:36Rambunctious or something
17:37And it was a whole bar that wanted to kill you
17:39What Dave?
17:41This is why you can't watch a prolapse
17:43My buddies and I went to a strip club
17:45Mm-hmm
17:47She took one of my buddies back to the champagne room
17:50He came out pale
17:52With a horrible look on his face
17:54Yeah I bet
17:55When she bent over to present herself to him
17:58Oh no
17:59Hemorrhoid?
18:00Nope
18:00Other guy's stuff dripped out of her
18:02Under his shirt
18:04Under his shirt?
18:06Oh
18:07He threw up
18:08Oh
18:09Sure he did
18:10He got the soup on him
18:11He did
18:11He got the soup
18:14That's why you don't die in there
18:15That's why you can't
18:16What are you thinking?
18:17What are you thinking?
18:19What are you thinking?
18:21What are you thinking?
18:21Oh
18:22Clean yourself up
18:24I know
18:25Like that just happened
18:27Yeah
18:29Oh my god
18:29You really bottled it in there you know
18:31You really kept it for later
18:32Gotta keep going to make that money right?
18:34You gotta keep going
18:35I guess
18:35It's about D's per hour
18:38A stripper offered me and my friends
18:40Shots of her breast milk
18:43I didn't do it
18:44But the rest of the guys drank it
18:46Walker told me I had AIDS
18:48Come on
18:48You can't
18:49You can't
18:51I just
18:51I mean
18:53Yeah like anytime I might think to myself
18:56Man I'm
18:56I'm kind of
18:57I'm a perv
18:58I realize no
18:59I'm not
19:00I'm really
19:00I'm just a guy
19:01I'm just
19:01It's
19:02Everything's fine
19:02I would never drink a stripper's
19:05Oh
19:07Ounce of her breast milk
19:09I wouldn't dine upon a stripper's soup
19:11There's ones that
19:13Like the story before
19:14There's guys that would
19:16Oh
19:17Clean that up
19:18Yeah they would love it
19:20Yeah they would love it
19:21Get out of here
19:22I got nowhere to go
19:23He's stuck in there
19:26This is where I am
19:28That's where he belongs
19:29That's where I'll stay
19:33One guy did
19:34He said went to a strip club
19:35In Japan
19:36Found a really good looking girl
19:38With a big butt
19:39Oh no Court
19:40Go on
19:42And we went in the back room
19:43She did let me dine back there
19:45I'll be right back
19:46Walker told me I had AIDS
19:48I'm sorry
19:48Sometimes it's worth it
19:50Where was he?
19:51Japan
19:51Japan
19:52Japan
19:53Everything's cleaner in Japan
19:54You guys know that right?
19:56Yeah they don't have AIDS over there
19:57Right
19:57Oh my god
19:59Did you hear Court got AIDS?
20:01Yeah
20:01Oh wow
20:01He thought they didn't have it there
20:02I wonder if he crunched the numbers on that though
20:04Bet it's really low
20:06In Japan?
20:08Uh huh
20:08We're gonna look at the AIDS numbers in Japan
20:10I think that's what we're doing
20:11That is what we're doing
20:1434,000
20:15Okay well that's more
20:16That's a lot of AIDS
20:16That's more than I wanted
20:17Oh I bet
20:18No actually only 900 right now
20:20Oh
20:21Alright
20:22Is that new cases?
20:24Alright
20:24201
20:26Oh man
20:27It's going way down
20:29Yeah they got it under control
20:30See it's very clean over there
20:32I just have to assume a Japanese stripper is very clean
20:36I'm picturing it in my head
20:38Very clean
20:39Okay
20:39Very attractive
20:42Oh my god she's touching me
20:43Okay
20:44Stop
20:44That's it
20:45It's gone too far
20:45We gotta go
20:46It's gone too far
20:47Thank you
20:47Yeah
20:48Yeah
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