Shot His Balls Off

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a 66-year-old man in Michigan who suffered a self-inflicted gun shot wound destroying his testicles.

Transcript

00:00We're going to start with the story of a poor old guy from Michigan, 66-year-old guy from

00:11Penfield Township, accidentally shot his balls off.

00:16Both of them?

00:17Jeez.

00:18Blew them both right off, huh?

00:20Oh!

00:21At least he was older.

00:22At least he was older.

00:23They had their runs.

00:24I don't need them!

00:25Nothing but trouble.

00:28My whole life.

00:30Korea didn't take it from me, but I did.

00:33I'm sure they were hanging real low.

00:35Oh, I bet.

00:36Easy shot.

00:37I shot my kneecap and my balls off!

00:40I shot myself in the ankles and balls.

00:43Who's this?

00:44All in one blast.

00:46Couldn't believe it.

00:49This 66-year-old guy from Calhoun County, Michigan, accidentally shot himself in the balls while

00:56adjusting a gun in his waistband.

00:58Man, oh man.

00:59The old gun in the waistband.

01:01It's just not a good idea.

01:03That's so crazy.

01:04That's why my dad's in work, man.

01:06He trains people for common gun safety and use.

01:09Yeah.

01:10You know?

01:10Yeah.

01:11And it's like, people never get it.

01:13Like, should I put it right directly aiming at my wiener?

01:16Is that like his first course?

01:18Listen, now, nobody needs to be blowing their dick off, okay?

01:25Now, first thing you're going to want to do is you're going to want to put that safety

01:28on and not point it right at your donger.

01:30Yeah.

01:31Because if you do, you have a...

01:32Wait a second, like this?

01:33No, no, no, no, no.

01:34Easy, whoa, whoa.

01:35Easy, fella.

01:36Easy, fella.

01:37Whoa.

01:37Don't do that now.

01:39Now, where are you going to put that?

01:40In the holster?

01:42Are you going to put it?

01:43Where are you going to put it?

01:43I want to put it in my waistband.

01:45No, no, you're aiming it right at your dick, man.

01:47Come on, now.

01:48I want to put it...

01:49Don't you do it.

01:50That's the wrong way.

01:52I got to give you an F.

01:54I got to give it back to the drawing boards.

01:57Oh, boy.

01:57He has to retake that course over and over again.

02:01What if I like this?

02:03I'm Mr. Queen.

02:05God damn it.

02:07You know what?

02:08I bought a rifle.

02:09If you had a course, how not to shoot your dick off, it would be packed.

02:13I do think that any normal gun safety course has to at least say...

02:19I think step one is be like, don't point it at your wiener.

02:22Yeah.

02:22Or anything vital that you want to keep.

02:25Because those are bullets that zing out of there.

02:27So they call it the appendix carry, right?

02:29Just based on where it's placed?

02:31Yeah, I guess.

02:33I just don't understand that one.

02:35I'd get a holster or a sidearm type thing or something.

02:38One of those jacket ones.

02:39There's plenty of places.

02:40Jacket ones.

02:41That'd be cool.

02:41I like those holsters that you pull them out of your pants.

02:45Have you seen those?

02:46Uh-uh.

02:47Where they're down in your pants and they rest sort of down by your leg.

02:53And then when you need it, you just pull a thing and it pops straight out of your pants.

02:56I like that under the suit jacket stuff.

02:57Because you get hot and you look extra cool when you're like, I got to take this jacket off.

03:01Oh, that?

03:02That's just my gun.

03:03Oh, yeah.

03:03If I had guns to carry around and I was allowed to just carry them around all the time at work,

03:10I'd have one of those sweet leather underneath the jacket.

03:14They're like, it's cool.

03:16Oh, yeah.

03:16Like the classic 80s police officer.

03:18Yes.

03:18That's the way to do it.

03:19Yes.

03:20Like the chief's riding my ass.

03:21The mayor don't know what he's doing.

03:23I want to know if there are any guys listening right now that do the ball carry.

03:28Like, do you carry your weapon right next to your Johnson?

03:32Are you not worried about shooting it off?

03:341-855-954-6969 is toll free.

03:361-855-954-6969.

03:39So what happened in this case with this old guy, it was late Wednesday night.

03:43Sheriff's deputies responded just before midnight to a report of a shooting.

03:48Police determined the man had suffered self-inflicted gunshot wounds to his testicles while adjusting

03:55his gun in his waistband.

03:57Jesus.

03:58Yeah.

03:58So he must have been messing around with it and then it hit the safety off.

04:02And then some guns, you barely have to touch the trigger.

04:05Oh, yeah.

04:06A hair trigger.

04:06Depending on what you got.

04:08I just, it's so easy to be safe with guns.

04:11Yep.

04:12I've been learning it since I was a child.

04:14I don't get it.

04:14Police determined the man had suffered an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.

04:19He was treated at the scene by Life Care Ambulance Service paramedics and Penfield Township

04:24firefighters.

04:25They tried to do all they could for his balls before they had to take him to an area hospital.

04:29They're dead.

04:30Triage my nuts!

04:32You gonna be able to put them back on there?

04:34Oh, my God!

04:35Is there anything left?

04:37Tiny Shirley, surround him!

04:40Did all they could.

04:42Did all they could to save them.

04:43He's like, sir, your old balls are gone.

04:47And that's your fault.

04:48Chuck makes a good point, though.

04:49He's 66.

04:50If I was 26 and I blew my balls off, oh, devastation.

04:53Yeah.

04:53But 66, I mean, really, you don't need them anymore.

04:56Yeah.

04:56Sure.

04:57You don't, but you've said you hope that when you're 66, you're still using them.

05:01Oh, I do.

05:02For sure, I do.

05:03You hope you're using them.

05:04But if I had to choose 26 or 66, of course, I'm going 66.

05:08Yeah.

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