The Tale of Ole Bean Dong

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a 30-year-old Michigan man who went to the hospital after putting six kidney beans up his dong and attempting to fire them out of there.

Transcript

00:00all right time now to play if we will yes this now it's time to play what's up his penis

00:16it's huge

00:21a 30 year old michigan man is the guy we're talking about michigan man

00:2830 year old michigan man yeah he was looking for some odd sexual gratification i get that

00:37and he decided the best way to get that would be to shove something up his pee hole

00:45a little sounding action huh what's up his penis he probably got the idea to pleasure himself by

00:53listening to our show exactly oh somebody gets put that in there let me get one of those yeah

00:57corkscrew toothbrush oh it's something you could purchase in a grocery store

01:05is it produce now does that mean it might be it might be what about green beans

01:13oh i'm close you're close frozen peas no

01:18what about canned beans you can now they mush i know lima beans oh we're getting closer

01:27we're getting closer kidney beans

01:29wow this 30 year old michigan man stuffed six kidney beans into his pee hole jeez he pushed

01:41them all the way into his urethra for sexual gratification and was apparently hoping his body would shoot them out

01:50when he finale it's not that strong it didn't work no he finale'd

01:59the beans got stuck yeah and he had to be rushed to the hospital

02:02i mean that's so many beans up there

02:07mine's only six beans long if that i think you're being generous i know for sure i couldn't put a kidney bean in

02:16i don't think it i don't think it's i don't think it's happening i'm more of a i'm more of a baked bean man

02:25i want you to they have some x-rays yeah see look at i'm i can't even i don't even want to tell you

02:35how many kidney beans i mean they had to put a ruler next to him

02:40he got almost five inches worth of kidney beans up there

02:45there's how they looked inside of him

02:48wow that's so dumb

02:50oh god

02:51they started bunching up there

02:53some of the beans were found in the urethra bundled up together

02:57that would have caused a problem you think

02:59how did they get all these photos did he release them

03:03i don't know

03:05that one almost looks like an artist render

03:07it was written up in the in uh oh they put it in a medical journal

03:11oh okay

03:12he tried um yeah so he tried to first

03:16like you know

03:18them out right

03:20yeah i don't know what you're talking about but yes

03:23natural emission

03:23yeah uh-huh uh-huh

03:24and then tried using tweezers

03:26yes

03:27that didn't work either

03:29this was in lansing

03:30wow i mean just what a thing to even attempt

03:34what a thing to be what gets you off

03:38imagine that emergency call

03:39right

03:40imagine that

03:41yeah

03:42how horrible that is

03:43i got some beans in my dick

03:44i i wish that the medical journal had like a comedy edition

03:48where like somebody

03:49because i'd call that the tale of old bean dick

03:52because you know they just

03:55every weird story they have

03:56i wish they had like a comedy lean to it

03:58you don't want to be old bean dick

04:01no you don't you don't but i don't know how he cooked up that idea

04:04i well i want to know what else he's had in there

04:06yeah that wasn't his first go-round right

04:09you don't do six kidney beans

04:10first out of the gate

04:12i think he had probably had a lot of stuff that he could easily remove

04:15so

04:16you know like

04:17pens

04:20pens and things like that

04:21yeah

04:21yeah i don't know

04:22his imagination of what was going to happen at the end was

04:26really hilarious

04:27well he thought he'd like shoot them out right

04:29right out of them

04:31no they're too

04:32i mean

04:33maybe with something much smaller

04:35that could have happened

04:37i still think even then

04:38yeah like could you put a toothpick in there

04:39and then fire it out like a blow

04:41that's too long

04:41i'm thinking like tiny and

04:43like a

04:43even a bb i think is even too

04:45maybe too

04:47weighty

04:48you know

04:48and you have to be like one of the guys who

04:51you know

04:52it's like fires it

04:53you you know

04:54oh you gotta have quite a stream

04:55you know

04:56you gotta be like peter north to really get kidney beans out of there

04:59yeah the average human can't shoot kidney beans out of their dong

05:03no

05:03yeah

05:04when they finale

05:04it's a wild dream he had

05:06it's insane to know that that happened not too far from here

05:09usually these stories are like

05:10in

05:10far away places

05:11yeah

05:12to me as well like just

05:14you know you could i could see

05:16you put the beans in

05:18but the fact that you shove them up

05:20more and more and more

05:21and one gets to your bladder

05:23i'm like what else

05:25what are you doing

05:26it's almost like he was loading it like an old school musket

05:28yeah you're right

05:29the whole idea of sounding

05:31gives me the heebie jeebies

05:33it does give me a chill too

05:34you know like i can't even imagine

05:36voluntarily shoving something up my pee hole

05:39to get sexual grab

05:41to me that's how you torture me

05:43it's the pain

05:44if i'm in abu grabe

05:45that's what they do

05:46right

05:47that's how you get me to spill all my secrets

05:49yeah

05:50threaten to shove beans up my dick

05:51yep

05:52i'll tell you anything

05:54someone said jack and the bean cock

05:58that's another good

06:01that's quite a tale

06:03so for doing it for pleasure

06:05can't wrap my head around that

06:07i'll never get it

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