Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about the most American things people have done.
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00:00What is the most American thing you've ever done?
00:13And we're not trifling.
00:16We never are, though.
00:17We're not playing around here.
00:19No.
00:20We want real, true, authentic, badass American things.
00:26Jake from Canton.
00:28Good morning.
00:28We're talking about the most American thing you've ever done.
00:32All right.
00:32Me and my family were heading up north to go on vacation.
00:35We went on the lake, went fishing, and my buddy caught a walleye and took too long to get the fish, the hook out of the mouth.
00:42My sister looks up in the air and is like, is that a bald eagle?
00:45Sure enough, bald eagle comes swooping down, grabs that fish, goes up into a tree about 10 feet above us, and just has the most amazing dinner of its whole life.
00:54We all look at each other like, we just fed America.
00:58Yeah, you did.
01:00What's that, America?
01:02You let America eat.
01:04This one, this, wow, this one's crazy.
01:07So play, yeah, follow along here, okay?
01:09Okay.
01:09All right.
01:09I stone-cold Steve Austin two beers.
01:13Okay.
01:13Slid down a mud hill into a pile of women jello wrestlers.
01:19I stood up, lit two sparklers, and then ran through red, white, and blue balloons and was shot out of a cannon into an American flag.
01:28American!
01:29Oh, my God!
01:30That's everything.
01:32Yep.
01:34And then he promptly took a nap, because that sounds exhausting.
01:36Yeah.
01:36Oh, yeah, of course.
01:38That's what I do every morning.
01:40That's how I get here.
01:41America.
01:41Is that how you get out of bed?
01:42You shot out of a cannon down the hallway?
01:44Slide down a hill with sparklers.
01:46Into a jello wrestling ring, into a cannon, onto Americans.
01:49That's right.
01:50How about this one?
01:52Tattooed an American flag on my dong.
01:56You want the freedom, Becker?
02:00There's only room for one of the stars.
02:03Why don't you suck on some freedom?
02:08No, that's a freedom stick.
02:09That's the best line ever!
02:11Oh, suck on freedom, bitch!
02:15You're about to get shot with freedom.
02:17Ever wondered what freedom tastes like?
02:19We're about to find out.
02:20You're going to get some freedom in your eye!
02:22Yeah.
02:24Oh, my God.
02:26Don't worry, I'll get a towel and wipe that freedom off you.
02:31I got freedom on you.
02:32I'm about to freedom!
02:34Freedom!
02:38Oh, yeah, I love it.
02:41Replace finale with freedom.
02:43Man, that was a lot of freedom.
02:46I freed him twice that night.
02:48Yeah.
02:48That's what I'm going to call it.
02:51Isn't that amazing?
02:53Ah.
02:54Ah!
02:54Freedom-y!
02:55Prepare for some freedom.
02:58Say ah.
03:00Freedom's a-brewin'.
03:01Let's go on to the next call here.
03:06What's the most American thing you've ever done?
03:09John, who's calling us from Indiana.
03:10Hey, John, good morning.
03:12Hey, good morning, guys.
03:13So what is it for you?
03:14Uh, my parents' name's my sister, America.
03:20No way!
03:21Holy Christ.
03:22You have a sister named America?
03:25Yep.
03:26And, uh, we have another, I have another sister whose name is, uh, Reagan after President Reagan.
03:32Wow.
03:32That is an all-American family.
03:34Yes, it is.
03:35So what about you, John?
03:36Uh, me?
03:39My sister's name's America.
03:41Yeah.
03:43You're just John.
03:45Yeah.
03:45I named it a John Adams, though.
03:47John Adams.
03:47I don't know if it was like an American.
03:49John F. Kennedy.
03:49I didn't think they would have told him that.
03:51This is America.
03:53Is America here?
03:54Yeah.
03:55America is here.
03:56She's right over there.
03:57America, get down on your knees, America.
04:00Oh, that's his sister.
04:02Wow.
04:03Wow.
04:04America don't get down on her knees for nobody.
04:05I'm about to put it in America's mouth.
04:07It's a good thing that he didn't have another sister named Bush.
04:10Oh, yeah.
04:11You know?
04:11Reagan, America, Bush.
04:13Bush.
04:13Oh, yeah.
04:14Bush would have been, that would have been a bad name.
04:16You don't want to be a girl named Bush.
04:18No, you can't be a girl named Bush.
04:20Hey, who's your sister?
04:20That's Bush.
04:21My sister, Bush.
04:25Big Bush.
04:26Big old Bush over there.
04:28Hey, what's up, guys?
04:30I'm Bush.
04:32Because you met my slutty sister, America.
04:35Yeah, America's like a hot cheerleader.
04:38She's a whore.
04:39Bush is a big fat.
04:42I just tell you, it's hard.
04:43Might mean fellas.
04:44We got a sister like America.
04:47She's always stealing my thunder.
04:49I'm just Bush.
04:51Bush, uh, hey, Bush, I heard you won the state fair for the fried food eating contest.
04:57That's goddamn right I did it.
04:58I sat down and ate every kind of fried thing you can imagine.
05:01Twinkies, Snickers bars.
05:03No.
05:04They weren't ready for me.
05:05But nobody cared because America won the beauty pageant.
05:09You didn't get in there, Bush?
05:10No.
05:11No, they didn't care about old Bush.
05:14They never did.
05:14Oh, yeah.
05:17Not with America.
05:18Flutting it up.
05:19Yeah.
05:20She's in just an American bikini top.
05:22Just always.
05:23That's all she wears.
05:24Yeah.
05:24I don't even think she has a job.
05:27Doesn't need a job.
05:29Gonna try at the fair next year.
05:31Eat that, eat those pies.
05:37Give me that goddamn pipe.
05:39They will remember Bush.
05:41Good, big, good show today, big Bush.
05:46Thanks.
05:47Oh, you're being mean and facetious.
05:50Just like always.
05:52Oh, poor Bush.
05:53Everybody's sweet to America.
05:57Bush's got it rough.
06:00America's got the whole football team.
06:03Yeah, she's just a whore.
06:05Everybody, nobody wants to talk about it.
06:06Poor, poor Bush.
06:09Poor Bush.