00:00couples are actually throwing
00:11vasectomy parties now
00:13to celebrate the start
00:15of their childless family
00:17I hate those people
00:19and they're asking guests
00:20they're asking guests to name their car
00:23or their boat
00:24they're going to get instead of a baby
00:27so to me it sounds like
00:29it's not like you've had a couple of kids
00:31and now you're having a vasectomy
00:32I am making the choice to never have a child
00:36we're not going to have kids
00:37and he's getting a vasectomy
00:39and we're celebrating now
00:41no see no F you
00:43you
00:45have gift enough not having
00:48kids that's gift enough
00:50I mean you've already
00:51you can go buy that boat
00:53you can go buy that nice car
00:55you go ahead and do that
00:56because you're not shelling out a bunch of dough
00:59for these little brats
01:00you love your little kids
01:03but it's the truth
01:04I mean you spend so much money
01:07on these little
01:07they sound expensive
01:10oh they're very expensive
01:11like every day is a party
01:13for people that don't have kids
01:14oh it's so true
01:14like you should see what I do
01:16every day
01:17I can't even imagine
01:18can you tell me about it
01:19can you tell me about it
01:21every day to me
01:22is pretty freaking wonderful
01:24oh wow
01:25with the no kid thing
01:27yeah I mean I hate a party as it is
01:30and then you put a vasectomy party
01:32with that
01:33I mean like
01:34okay
01:34I'm not going to have the party
01:36about my vasectomy
01:37yeah
01:37congratulations
01:38yeah I'm glad you're gonna
01:40I think my life and your life
01:41are almost pretty parallel
01:43yeah
01:43except for all the horrible things
01:45that I have in my life
01:46right
01:47okay
01:48so
01:49no but they are
01:51I mean I would love to just be doing
01:53exactly what Andy's doing
01:54in fact I'm still doing some of it
01:56except it's sprinkled in
01:58with horrible
02:00it's got a bunch of horrible
02:01like sprinkled all over
02:02so
02:03like Andy
02:05wants to probably
02:06at some point
02:07take his pants off
02:08go sit on the couch
02:11watch TV
02:12or play video games
02:13you know
02:14something like that
02:16me too
02:17but when I
02:17now so you
02:18picture yourself
02:19you're sitting on your couch
02:20you're playing video games
02:21now have a football
02:23hit you in the head
02:23right
02:24see
02:24okay
02:25I would hate that
02:25when you just got your snack
02:27when I just got
02:28you just got your
02:29you know
02:29pizza pockets or something
02:31you know what I mean
02:31yeah
02:32and then all of a sudden
02:34and you throw away
02:35like you're mad
02:36yeah
02:36and then it hits you again
02:37and I'm like stop
02:39but doesn't stop
02:41it never stops
02:42right
02:42and you got that for 18 years
02:44yes
02:44dude I remember being young
02:46like my buddy was like
02:46yeah I can't wait to have kids
02:47I'm like are you crazy
02:48yeah
02:49I'm like do you know
02:50how terrible those things are
02:51no
02:52I'm like it's
02:53they're just like
02:54expensive
02:5518 year long
02:56fun killers
02:57yes
02:58and I
02:59listen I love my kids to death
03:00but I also respect the people
03:02that decide not to have them
03:03because I can all
03:04I can
03:04I'm not the guy
03:05who's
03:06who can say
03:06oh I can't imagine
03:07life without children
03:07I can
03:08yeah
03:09I can't imagine
03:10life without children
03:11you'd be lying
03:12if you said
03:13I totally can
03:14dude like
03:14every day I go home
03:16and I just live the dream
03:17I like
03:18I do
03:18I take my pants off
03:20I start making a bloody mary
03:21I like
03:23get hammered
03:25by like 5 o'clock
03:26and start making a bloody mary
03:29he's already drunk
03:29I'm like I'll play some video games
03:33keep talking
03:35I'm like if my girlfriend's yelling at me
03:36I take solace in knowing that I can still leave
03:39yeah
03:40it's true
03:40she won't take all your stuff
03:42yeah
03:42it's all mine
03:43all nine of my clothes are still mine
03:45still yours
03:46you know
03:47it's not messy
03:48I'm just now doing okay
03:50to wear like
03:51what am I gonna give all this new stuff
03:52to like
03:53some little kid that's gonna resent me
03:55in 20 years
03:55oh yeah I know
03:56I don't want that
03:57oh that's great
04:02that's awesome
04:02I'm telling you man
04:03I've got the same life as you
04:05it's just
04:06riddled with disappointment
04:07it's really different
04:08I mean it's gonna catch up to me at the end
04:10when I'm like
04:10where is everybody
04:11where am I so alone
04:12oh well
04:13but hopefully my heart just explodes
04:15before then
04:15by the time you're that old
04:16that'll be all you want
04:18is to be alone
04:19that's true
04:19that's the way
04:20like I'm trending towards alone
04:23okay
04:23like I'm moving
04:24it's always nice
04:26to have a partner
04:26just alone
04:28somebody to do things with
04:29someone to check in on you
04:31every once in a while
04:32maybe
04:32but
04:33I'm definitely trending
04:35towards loneliness
04:36there's sometimes
04:37I just sit in quiet
04:39and I'm like
04:39quiet?
04:41yeah
04:41yeah
04:42and I just like think
04:43and I'm like
04:44oh yeah
04:45I'm like
04:46ponder a lot of science
04:49I haven't thought
04:50in a long time
04:51I haven't
04:54I think it's sweet
04:55not having kids
04:55but
04:55I don't want to be like
04:57hey everybody
04:58we're having a party
04:58because I'm finally
04:59going to be able to
05:00let loose
05:01up in there
05:03it's a weird thing
05:05to celebrate with
05:06it is
05:06very strange
05:07just so there's your warning
05:09don't invite any of us
05:10to your vasectomy party
05:11I won't
05:11we're not coming
05:12you
05:13don't
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