Butt Physics 101

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak watch a video of a girl who suffered an asstastrophe which leads to Chuck and James explaining their theory of how they would want the scenario to play out for them.

Transcript

00:00What is the worst thing that has happened to your ass?

00:11What was your ass-tastrophe?

00:13Now we bring it up because of this video that's making its way online

00:17of a British girl who took a tumble.

00:19She's dancing with her friends.

00:20Yeah.

00:22And apparently she tried something called a slut drop.

00:28Christ is a slut drop.

00:31On the British TV show, Jory Shore, which is like their version of Jersey Shore.

00:35I think it's kind of like dropping it like it's hot.

00:37Yeah, you basically just drop down real fast, right?

00:39Like Dave does.

00:41Yeah, Bonnie Lee Brown was getting ready for this night out

00:43when she tried this slut drop.

00:45And instead she ended up with an ass-tastrophe.

00:48I haven't watched this yet because I wasn't sure if it was bad or not.

00:52What's the scale of bad on this?

00:55Yeah, James isn't very...

00:57It looked incredibly painful.

00:59It's not going to be that thing, is it, that's behind her?

01:01This?

01:02Yes.

01:02Yeah?

01:03This thing here?

01:04Uh-huh.

01:05Okay, here it is then.

01:06Here's Bonnie Lee Brown and her ass-tastrophe.

01:10Can we listen to it?

01:11Oh, where did it get her?

01:17Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

01:20Ah!

01:21Oh.

01:22Oh my God.

01:23Uh-oh.

01:25Ah!

01:26Okay.

01:27Ouch.

01:27All right, I'm not going to listen to that song over and over again.

01:30But like, it looked honestly, though, like she's taken it so many times in the poop shoot

01:34that it just slid right in there and out.

01:36No, that's not it.

01:38She said it didn't go up my butthole, but went into my ass-cheek and I had to have three

01:44stitches.

01:45The cheeks are designed to offer a lot of protection.

01:48Yeah.

01:48In cases like these.

01:51In cases like these?

01:53That was very technical, Lee.

01:56You sounded like you were a doctor giving an ass-lection.

01:58In cases of a classic slut drop, the ass-cheek has been known to offer quite a bit of protection.

02:04I feel like I'd be in real trouble.

02:08Why?

02:09You have cheeks?

02:11Cheeks could protect?

02:12Why, thank you.

02:12I think you're saying base.

02:13You almost stick out the word big.

02:14You know, the thing is, though, a lot of my cheek has got some muscle mass, and I feel

02:22like you'd want as much...

02:23You want fat.

02:24You want fat, right?

02:26What are you trying to say is you have a real muscular ass?

02:28Is that what you're saying?

02:28I have more...

02:29I feel like when it hits the muscle, it would hurt more than if it just oozed into...

02:34Would you want an ass-muscle or b-hole?

02:39I'll slide right in and out of my b-hole.

02:41If it was a perfect...

02:44He's going b-hole.

02:45I'll say this right now.

02:47If it was a perfect shot, if it was a perfect shot, I'd want b-hole.

02:52If it was perfect.

02:55If it was perfect.

02:57It makes sense.

02:58What you're saying makes sense.

02:59Yeah.

03:00Because the pole is so thin.

03:02Yep.

03:02It's such a thin little pole.

03:04That if it was a perfect shot...

03:05It probably would hurt less going up the b-hole than penetrating the skin of the butt

03:09It would be like, I think something happened, but I'm not sure.

03:12Oh, did I just fart?

03:13Yeah.

03:13Did the deterrent just fall out of my butt?

03:14What happened?

03:15Crazy.

03:15No, I'm telling you.

03:17I think you're crazy.

03:18If I sat on a pen perfectly, I would just get up and I could write a sentence with my

03:24butt.

03:25That's it.

03:25I know.

03:26This wouldn't hurt.

03:27But did you see how she was high up and she landed?

03:31She slipped and dropped down.

03:32Like, it's a forceful...

03:35I bet if I took my pants off and you took this pen and you were like, wham!

03:40And you got me perfect.

03:43Pulled by.

03:43Right in the stinker.

03:44It sounds like you want that.

03:46It sounds like this is what you want to happen.

03:48I think so.

03:49This is what we're discovering.

03:50This is a different discussion.

03:51He's opening the gateway to butt stuff.

03:53Maybe.

03:55No, but I'm just saying, a perfect shot.

03:58It would hurt so much more to get punctured in your ass than to just slide up a butthole.

04:04Your butthole is like, it's just air.

04:07Your cheek's designed to take...

04:08That's where they give you shots and stuff.

04:10Yeah.

04:11No, I know.

04:12It's designed to take a lot.

04:13I know, but my butthole has been through a lot, too.

04:16I don't think that it would hurt.

04:17It's designed to take a lot, too.

04:19But I think that the butthole is designed as a release and it's not designed as an entrance.

04:23Exactly.

04:24I think what you've not realized is just how easy it is to get in there.

04:29Into yours.

04:30I think into anybody's.

04:31You risk damaging, too, that area.

04:34Lisa, I said, if it was a perfect shot, if it was going to damage me, I don't want it in my butthole.

04:42Are we really arguing about this?

04:43If it's just going to go...

04:44Big b-hole debate.

04:45Like, it didn't...

04:46Don't show us.

04:48If it was just going to go in and out like that...

04:52God, Chuck, that's too much.

04:54Like that and out.

04:56Not like tear and out.

04:58No.

04:58If it tears, I don't want it.

05:00That's why I think it's long enough to where you're going to get some tearing.

05:02Yeah.

05:03And this is, I think, where you guys are getting me wrong is you think...

05:08Chuck's defending it.

05:08I am willing to take some kind of butt damage.

05:12I'm not.

05:13It would only...

05:14But it would damage it.

05:16It's guaranteed it would damage it.

05:17There's no way it's going to be that perfect that it's going to come in and out without causing damage.

05:21And this is what I'm saying.

05:22Like, if it is going to cause damage, I'd rather damage to my cheek.

05:26If it was not going to cause damage and it was just like, whoa, like a shock, I'd rather have just the shock.

05:33And not have to go to your hospital.

05:35I'm going to stress right now on what Chuck wants up his waist.

05:37Christ.

05:37Okay?

05:38I do like the idea.

05:39Explain something to you guys.

05:40If you were to take this pen and I were to bend over and wham!

05:45How much more do you guys need?

05:49Hold on.

05:50I'll start writing up a thesis.

05:51The way Chuck's explaining it, too, reminds me of my physics professor in college.

05:55When we talk about, like, the bowling ball or the feather, which one drops at the same speed.

06:00In a vacuum, they drop the same speed.

06:02If your butthole leaves Cincinnati going 305 miles an hour.

06:06Soon this will be a course.

06:08Yeah.

06:08Oh, it absolutely will.

06:09You guys are just...

06:10Butt physics?

06:11Mm-hmm.

06:12It will be.

06:12Well, they need it for the lead.

06:14Yeah, we're going to need it.

06:15Yeah.

06:16Yeah.

06:17Yeah.

06:18Yeah.

06:19Yeah.

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