00:00The only times I tend to wear colors is if I'm borrowing somebody else's clothes.
00:06The most striking part of myself is definitely my modification.
00:10I feel like other people expect me to be a bad mom just because of my appearance alone.
00:16I hope that I'll still look super weird when I'm, like, really old, because otherwise what was the point?
00:22Today I'm transforming from heavily modified to suburban mom.
00:27I'm uncomfortable and it's not even on my flesh yet.
00:30One, two, three.
00:33No, no.
00:35I don't recognize me.
00:46It takes literally, like, 20 minutes to style my hair.
00:49Makeup can take me anywhere from about 15 minutes to two to three hours.
00:56I would describe my style as between punk and goth, a little bit of emo in there.
01:03The most striking part of myself is definitely my modifications.
01:07I have 44, 46 piercings at the moment.
01:11I tend to lose count just because of how often I get them.
01:15My earlobes are currently at three inches.
01:17It took me about eight to nine years to get my ears this big.
01:23I've only been getting tattooed for about a year, year and a half now.
01:26Eventually I would like to have my entire body tattooed.
01:30The only times I tend to wear colors is if I'm borrowing somebody else's clothes.
01:34It's pretty much all black.
01:36I hope that I'll still look super weird when I'm, like, really old, because otherwise what was the point?
01:45I feel like people definitely stereotype.
01:49Everyone thinks I believe in Satan or that I kill animals or something when it's quite frankly the opposite.
01:56How many dots is there? One, two, three.
02:01I feel like other people expect me to be a bad mom just because of my appearance alone.
02:06I've looked like this since Penelope was born, so I don't really think she thinks anything of it.
02:12Sometimes I worry when I go a little too hardcore, but she just starts laughing and playing with me.
02:20Today I'm transforming from heavily modified to suburban mom.
02:25I'm going to reveal my transformed look to my boyfriend, my daughter, and my mother.
02:30Scissors, scissors.
02:32Let's see what this one is, baby.
02:34Oh no.
02:37Long sleeves too.
02:40I'm uncomfortable and it's not even on my flesh yet.
02:44Oh no.
02:46Everything is beige.
02:48It's like reverse Christmas, because I'm not very excited anymore.
02:53I'm a lot more scared now than I thought I was going to be.
02:59I would say we're giving a make-under today to Nyx.
03:03Something a little less severe as the black mascara and the mohawk.
03:11I love the feel of makeup on my skin, but holy hell do I feel so gross right now.
03:17I feel like I'm going to cry.
03:19Don't cry.
03:25One, two, three.
03:31No, no.
03:34No.
03:37No.
03:41And it's exactly what I thought. No.
03:44I don't recognize me.
03:46I feel like Becky.
03:49I feel like my name is Becky now.
03:51No.
03:55I think my boyfriend is going to hate it.
03:57Hate it, hate it.
03:59So much hate.
04:06Oh my God.
04:08So different.
04:11Still beautiful, but you're still so different.
04:15I would have never recognized you going down the street or nothing.
04:19This is not what I expected to be.
04:22I don't like it.
04:24I'd rather have her with all her piercings and her tattoos and all that,
04:29because I know that that's her and that's what makes her happy.
04:33That's mine.
04:34No.
04:35Nope.
04:36That's not your mommy?
04:38Hey.
04:39Pretty girl.
04:41No touch.
04:43I was not at all surprised by my boyfriend's reaction.
04:46I was really surprised that my mom genuinely liked the way that I looked before today.
04:53First thing I'm going to do is take off these heels.
04:56Screw all that.
04:58And this.
05:00This is annoying.
05:02And I'm sweaty.
05:04And I like short hair.
05:06Today's look, I don't think I'm going to take anything from it,
05:09because I would like to pretend it didn't exist.
05:12Today's experience made me realize that I just really like who I am,
05:16and I don't want to fit in.
05:19I don't want to look like this.
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