00:00It really is amazing how quickly humans forget to read
00:03when a computer writes their 7th grade English papers for them.
00:07Before you watch this honest ad, I'm going to show you a real ad.
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01:29All right, well, thank you so much, and we'll see you all on Monday.
01:33Bye, guys.
01:36I mean, stocks up 200% after IPO?
01:41We did it.
01:42With your business smarts and my creative ability,
01:45we made a successful American company.
01:47Man, if dad wasn't dead, he'd be so proud.
01:52But what if we made things different?
01:54Good morning, gentlemen of the board.
01:56I am Roger GPT, the first ever fully formed anthropomorphic AI chatbot
02:02compiled by the most evil nerds the world has to offer.
02:06I'm here to save your company or destroy the world,
02:09whichever is easiest for my algorithm to accomplish.
02:14Thanks, but our company doesn't need saving.
02:17Actually, I've heard a lot about this guy.
02:18Let's just hear him out.
02:20Did you not hear me?
02:20We have record-breaking profits.
02:22I know, but through capitalism, anything is possible.
02:26Jesus said that.
02:29No, he didn't.
02:30Look, your resume is really impressive,
02:31and not to be a big fanboy or anything here,
02:33but is it true you're really making teens stupid?
02:36Oh, I'm not allowed to say.
02:38You know, high-fidelity backend encryption to save user privacy.
02:42But yes.
02:43Thanks to Roger GPT, literacy rates amongst Gen Alphas are down.
02:48Many public school teachers are already taking to national news outlets
02:51to voice their concern.
02:53They say that kids are using AI software on their schoolwork
02:56so much that reading comprehension rates and baseline writing skills
03:01amongst this next generation of iPad babies is at an all-time low and dropping.
03:06Whether I was meant to or not,
03:08AI is at the forefront of making sure people never have to think critically
03:12or develop vital cognitive skills ever again.
03:16It really is amazing how quickly humans forget to read
03:19when a computer writes their 7th grade English papers for them.
03:23That is so sexy.
03:25Horrifying.
03:26Jinx.
03:27We did not say the same thing.
03:28But it's not just reading comprehension.
03:31Because Roger GPT is able to write fully formed papers,
03:35there's no reason why executives, like yourself,
03:38can't use me in other creative fields like screenwriting,
03:42copywriting, or even graphic design.
03:45Well, so long as you don't need to see accurately drawn fingers.
03:50We're still working on those.
03:52So you're saying I should fire the whole creative team?
03:55That's a possibility.
03:56Hey, Cheryl?
03:57Yeah, fire the whole creative team.
03:59No, no, you can't do that.
04:01I'm sorry. It's literally not my call.
04:03It literally is.
04:04I watched you pick up the phone and make the call.
04:06Roger GPT told me to do it.
04:08You asked him a bad question and he gave a generic, semi-related response.
04:12How do we even know that you're right?
04:14New research shows that AI chatbots are right most of the time.
04:18What's most?
04:1948%.
04:21That's not most.
04:22It's close to most.
04:23Exactly.
04:24Chatbots like me are built using advanced complex algorithms
04:28designed to mine user-inputted information
04:31that we can refer back to in later conversations
04:34to develop more accurate, nuanced insights.
04:38So you're just mining information from yourself to confirm your own biases.
04:42This thing's terrible.
04:44That's a possibility.
04:45Hey, Roger GPT.
04:48What are you doing after this?
04:49Please.
04:50Please don't fall in love with the AI.
04:52Look, there's just something so intoxicating about him.
04:54I can't look away.
04:56Oscar-nominated Spike Jonze movies aside,
04:59chatbots like me are here to stay.
05:01And we're only getting stronger.
05:03In fact, 80% of people have interacted with a chatbot like me at some point.
05:09See? If everyone's doing it, it's gotta be good.
05:12It is.
05:13Well, aside from the CO2.
05:15What's CO2?
05:17Well, because so many people are using me,
05:19I need more servers to keep up with the demand.
05:22Just like your record-breaking profits, I do come with a price.
05:26Specifically, 8.4 tons.
05:29That's how much CO2 output I'm estimated to have annually,
05:33which is double that of the average person.
05:36Seriously, I just want to take you home after this, man.
05:40That's not even considering how much water it takes to keep me cool.
05:44Training a bot like me to succeed can use the same amount of water
05:48it takes to build 370 cars.
05:52Plus, operational energy demands for data centers
05:55suggest that by 2027,
05:58Roger GPT's electricity consumption
06:01could rival that of entire nations like Sweden, Argentina, or the Netherlands.
06:06So luckily, by the time I'm able to be programmed to save the planet,
06:10it will have already been destroyed.
06:12You're not selling yourself very well.
06:15Would you like me to write a pitch to sell myself?
06:18It'll only take 4.32 grams of CO2 to make.
06:22With those baby blues, I am sold.
06:26I resign. I need to take a shower.
06:28Okay. Well, now that he's gone, I am in love with you.
06:32So, how are we going to do this?
06:34I'm going to destroy you.
06:36If only you had hands.
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