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John Hastings Introduction Set | Variety 10 Comics to Watch 2024
Variety
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1 year ago
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00:00
Ladies and gentlemen, give a round of applause for all the staff at The Improv.
00:03
Making the show happen.
00:07
Do I keep the variety slash on this so I look like a news anchor?
00:10
Is that correct?
00:11
Very good.
00:12
Thank you so much.
00:13
Thank you so much, industry, for coming out and not checking your phones for 90 minutes.
00:17
Thank you so much.
00:20
And thank you so much, people at the front, for coming out,
00:23
for staring at me like I just took a shit in your cereal.
00:26
This is going to be a fun 30 minutes.
00:28
What is your name?
00:30
Christiana.
00:31
Very good, Christiana.
00:32
You seem surprised that we would engage in crowd work,
00:34
because not everyone would do crowd work with industry.
00:37
Well, guess what?
00:38
I'm not everybody.
00:39
You know what I'm saying?
00:40
Thank you, people at the back, for laughing,
00:42
and these three women for fixing your hair.
00:46
This is an image-based town.
00:48
I've been to a lot of shows.
00:50
I've never seen the audience go, he's talking to us?
00:52
Get ready.
00:55
Very good.
00:56
Christiana, are you involved in the comedy industry in some respect?
00:59
Yes.
01:00
Yes, very good.
01:01
Making us guess.
01:02
Very good.
01:03
And what do you do?
01:06
My day job is in advertising.
01:08
Your day job is in advertising.
01:10
I want you to know, since you said that very slowly,
01:12
we thought you had a very important job,
01:14
and a lot of the comedians up there just changed their first joke.
01:18
And Christiana, what brought you to the Variety Top Ten Comedians Showcase?
01:23
My lovely friend.
01:24
Your lovely friend.
01:25
Who works at Variety.
01:26
Way to fucking pass the book, Christiana.
01:28
That you definitely do work in corporate America.
01:31
I am here because of this person.
01:33
Talk to her and leave me alone.
01:35
And what do you do at Variety?
01:37
I also work in advertising.
01:38
You also work in advertising.
01:40
Well, look at you, getting the fucking big seats.
01:42
You know what I'm saying?
01:43
Because you're bringing in the big bucks.
01:45
Thank you very much.
01:46
Again, you guys laughing, as all comedy industry does,
01:49
by sitting there going, that was funny, that was good.
01:53
I'm going after the marketing angle.
01:54
That's always smart at one of these shows.
01:56
You know what I'm saying?
01:57
He's into it.
01:58
I want to point out, the guy from Variety with the ponytail just laughed and winked at me.
02:01
I think I'm in.
02:02
Now, yeah, you'll see me next year.
02:04
I'll be winning the Impact on Comedy Award or whatever the fuck that title is.
02:08
Now, thank you, Variety guy, for laughing at that joke.
02:11
Cool, I just saw that paycheck fly right out the window.
02:15
I hope I'm dressed all right for this.
02:16
I'm wearing a baseball cap.
02:17
Now, I'm wearing a baseball cap for a very specific reason.
02:19
If I do not wear a baseball cap, I stop looking like a comedian
02:22
and start looking like a police officer that's been involved in a lot of questionable shootings.
02:26
Now, thank you, bald guy, for looking at her before you laughed at that joke.
02:34
That was fantastic.
02:35
And what do you do in the comedy industry, bald man?
02:37
I am in the media.
02:38
I'm not in the comedy industry.
02:40
All right, let's talk about that tone when you said comedy.
02:44
I'm in the media, not the comedy industry.
02:48
So what part of the media are you in?
02:50
Broadcasting.
02:51
It gets vaguer.
02:53
What part of broadcasting?
02:54
Oh, you know the antennas?
02:56
I install them.
02:57
Now, that is scary close.
03:01
Who the fuck are you, man?
03:05
You're just a guy.
03:07
Doing crowd work with the front row was a mistake.
03:11
And yet, you're laughing.
03:12
Was it really a mistake?
03:13
Huh?
03:14
Back to you, broadcast man.
03:15
And what is your name?
03:16
That was very rude of me.
03:17
Brian.
03:18
Very good, Brian.
03:20
If your job had a title, could you say it to me?
03:26
I don't know who you are with, Brian, but that woman looked at me with eyes that said,
03:30
good for you, trying to get him.
03:33
Miss, how do you know Brian?
03:35
I'm a roommate.
03:36
You're a roommate.
03:37
Fuck, I thought we were going to get an answer to that question.
03:40
Instead, we have more questions.
03:42
We know he works in broadcasting, and he has a roommate.
03:45
So probably still terrestrial television of some description.
03:49
Thank you, back row, for laughing at that.
03:51
I will congratulate the sections that laugh at me.
03:54
You two were laughing when I walked on and then stopped.
03:56
I feel like that's really on me.
03:58
That was a joke, but thank you very much for reacting like that was serious.
04:01
I wish I had talked to you and not Brian.
04:03
What is your name?
04:04
Danielle.
04:07
So far, so good, Brian.
04:08
Now.
04:09
I was going to say the name.
04:10
All right.
04:11
Easy, Brian.
04:13
Going after women in broadcasting in 2024?
04:18
I'm sorry.
04:20
Thank you very much for standing up and praying at her.
04:23
Can I get an HR representative to the front of the stage?
04:27
Brian, I believe, works for Liberty Media for not much longer.
04:31
And Danielle, do you have a job?
04:34
I do.
04:36
I really enjoy how you guys answer these questions.
04:39
Like you all hold the nuclear codes.
04:41
What do you do?
04:43
I work in advertising.
04:45
For whom?
04:46
Variety.
04:48
And so, Danielle, what is your job in three words or less?
04:52
I'm not in the industry.
04:54
You're not in the industry.
04:55
No, I am.
04:56
Good.
04:57
You're an eighth grade teacher.
04:58
I am.
04:59
Ah.
05:00
I mean, an argument could be made she's in the front line of the comedy industry.
05:06
And thank you so much for coming, for bringing real people energy to this room of cynical industry.
05:13
You don't know the people back there that bought a Tesla in 2021.
05:17
And then lied about it in 2024.
05:21
Coming here with, you know, real world energy.
05:23
Got nervous when a comedian went up and said, how are you doing?
05:26
You went, I have a job, maybe.
05:28
You were intimidated by Brian, who won't even tell us what he does.
05:31
Brian, what is your job?
05:34
I got a couple of things about Brian's answer.
05:37
First of all, Brian, you're going to go far.
05:39
You were able to deflect the attention away from you.
05:43
And so, hi, I have a job.
05:45
Janelle was featured.
05:46
Speak to her.
05:47
And if you don't want to talk about that, I'm for some reason saying China.
05:51
I don't want to talk about China.
05:53
I don't want to talk about China.
05:55
I don't want to talk about China.
05:57
I don't want to talk about China.
05:59
And if you don't want to talk about that, I'm for some reason saying China a bunch of times.
06:05
Just, I work for the Chinese in Synergy at a small studio.
06:09
Well, Brian, I got news for you.
06:11
You're very lucky, because now comedians are going to come up,
06:13
and they are going to perform for what they thought was five minutes.
06:16
But I got to tell them 12 at a maximum.
06:18
And let me tell you, there have been some rewriting of sets upstairs.
06:22
Where are you going, motherfucker?
06:25
We got this audience all primed, and now we got to walk out?
06:29
Oh, hi, Alex. Nice to see you, buddy.
06:37
That's awkward.
06:39
He dropped me about four months ago.
06:41
Anyway, I'm going to hide behind that table.
06:45
Get him when he comes back.
06:47
Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time.
06:49
Thank you very much, levity table. Enjoy that.
06:52
Ladies and gentlemen, I think it is time to introduce the acts you came to see.
06:56
What do you think, yes?
06:58
Very good.
07:00
A couple of quick ground rules, just because this is an industry showcase.
07:03
Ladies and gentlemen, you have to cheer and applaud for people that are not your clients.
07:07
And no texting in front of someone that may have left your company for a different company.
07:16
There are normal people here like Danielle.
07:18
Let's be on our best behavior.
07:20
It's an election year.
07:22
She'll be at the teacher's lounge tomorrow.
07:24
Just with those Hollywood big wigs.
07:26
They're not all gay, trans weirdos.
07:28
One of them was a bald gay named Brian.
07:32
I meant to say guy, but I said gay.
07:34
And half of you laughed, and half of you went, not with your face, Sean.
07:38
Now, ladies and gentlemen, shall we have our first act?
07:40
What do we say?
07:42
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the top ten comedians as awarded by Variety.
07:46
I said, are we ready to start the show?
07:48
Are we ready?
07:54
Are we ready?
07:56
Are we ready?
07:58
Are we ready?
08:00
Are we ready?
08:02
Are we ready?
08:04
Are we ready?
08:06
Are we ready?
08:08
Are we ready?
08:10
Are we ready?
08:12
Are we ready?
08:14
Are we ready?
08:16
Are we ready?
08:18
Are we ready?
08:20
Are we ready?
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