Wasting life on an unworthy person? || Acharya Prashant (2020)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ~~~~~~~~~  Video Information: Blessings from Beyond, 12.01.20, Advait Bodhsthal, Greater Noida, India  Context: Wasting life on an unworthy person Why do we easily trust someone? How to maintain a good relationship? How to choose a life partner?  What is real love?  Music Credits: Milind Date ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .

Transcript

00:00Acharya ji, the last and final question for today's session is from a 34-year-old lady

00:14from Mumbai.

00:15She is a professor.

00:17She has asked, Pranam Acharya ji, I was in a relationship with a person from last 8 years

00:25that is since 2012.

00:28We used to talk a lot over the phone and I was emotionally attached to him all this while.

00:39Since last 3 years, it was so that while being with me, he was also seeing and dating other

00:46women.

00:49I am very honest and loyal to that person.

00:52I have always been like that.

00:56And all this while, I never even thought of any other man other than him.

01:03After knowing that he is so mean, so dishonest, why am I still not able to give up on him?

01:14Kindly give me some technique how to get over him, forget him and ultimately dissuade myself

01:23from a person like him.

01:26You see, if you are keeping a dog, you will probably have to go to the meat market.

01:47There is no option available to you as long as you keep the dog very close to your heart.

02:05It makes no sense to crib about the stink and the squalor and the chaos in the meat

02:18market because your presence there has not been forced by anybody else upon you.

02:38As long as you stick to the dog, you will have to stick to the meat market as well.

02:47If you find that you are needlessly attracted towards an unworthy

03:01person, then it is not that so-called mean person you need to distance yourself from.

03:24Rather, you need to investigate what is it within you that craves for meanness.

03:46You say you have been in a relationship with that person since eight years.

03:53If the person is really mean, what were you doing with him for so long?

04:00Only meanness gets attracted to meanness.

04:08You say you are very loyal to that person etc. etc.

04:12What was so great about that person that you offered your loyalty to him?

04:19As far as I understand life a little, one's loyalties must be reserved for the highest

04:37one can come across or is one's loyalty a cheap thing, an article on sale that you

04:55can offer it to just about any random average mean person.

05:08I want to ask this question to all who either demand or profess loyalty from another person

05:18or towards another person.

05:28Those who have known life have taught as fundamental wisdom that only truth is worth being committed

05:39to.

05:40How do you afford being committed to some person?

05:45Does that person really represent the truth to you?

05:55With great moral righteousness, we come forward and say, look at me since the last 25 years.

06:24I have been an exceptionally committed and devoted and loyal to this person.

06:40You are bragging about your foolishness, nothing else.

06:48And don't feel offended, please.

06:51We all need to hear this.

06:59The one who is committed to the truth cannot be committed to anything or anybody else.

07:12And that is the only right way to live life, to be committed only to the highest.

07:21Look at what you are committed to.

07:26Are you really committed to the highest?

07:29What is your concept of loyalty?

07:32What do you mean by loyalty?

07:40There is the loyalty of the material kind, which is nothing but barter, trade.

07:47My employer pays me so much, so I must deliver him such and such services.

08:00Or if I have committed so much in a business agreement, then I must uphold my part of the

08:08commitment.

08:13This is nothing but material transaction.

08:17And then there is the inner loyalty.

08:22I understand if you are outwardly committed to somebody because that somebody is providing

08:32something material to you, that is part and parcel of the agreement, that is okay.

08:37But how do you get inwardly committed to somebody?

08:44Do you get what I am asking?

08:49How do you manage to say that you are committed to Rahul or Sheena or Raj or Farooq?

09:08How?

09:09Who is this person you are committed to, please?

09:14And then when you receive a jolt, like the questioner seems to have received, you come

09:22up and complain and cry, you say, oh, I trusted this person so much and he ditched me.

09:31Why did you trust in the first place?

09:39By offering your fidelity to just about any random person, first of all, you are guilty of infidelity.

09:57This is really blasphemy of the lowest kind.

10:11You make some Tom, Dick, Harry the center of your universe.

10:20And accordingly, you raise expectations from that person.

10:26Is that person, first of all, capable of and worthy of fulfilling your expectations?

10:34Obviously, he is not.

10:36He is just one general fellow like everybody else is an average human being.

10:46He will do what all average human beings do.

10:55And when his acts and transgressions come to light, then you put up such a sorry face.

11:07Oh, see, my trust has not been honored.

11:19You trust an elephant to fly.

11:28And instead of flying, it gives you five kilograms of elephant shit.

11:43You know, you are looking upwards, soon it would be flying.

11:51The thing raises its tail.

11:54You feel it is a takeoff signal.

12:01And soon all the ambrosia from heavens descends upon you.

12:07And then you come running to Acharyaji.

12:15But your darling was an elephant.

12:17What else could he have done?

12:25What's worse?

12:27There is something within you that still pulls you to the elephant.

12:39What's even worse is that you not only are pulled towards the elephant, you still secretly

12:46hope that the elephant will fly.

12:55The elephant is not to be blamed.

12:57Blame that within you, which gets attracted to all kinds of animals.

13:10Whenever you get, you know, cheated in love, don't blame anybody else.

13:17Ask yourself, did you not have anything better to do with your life?

13:21That you went and clinging to a person, eight years of life.

13:29And if I recall, the questioner is a professor, right?

13:36Students, I'm thinking of them.

13:46Eight years of your life and golden years of your life.

13:51These are the years when you were at your youthful prime.

13:56You dedicated these years to some general moron who was having affairs all over the

14:04city.

14:05Only a few have been uncovered.

14:07I know him.

14:08He has five more.

14:12Five more in which he succeeded, 25 more in which he got beaten up.

14:20That's the way everyone is.

14:23I don't need to know particular personal details.

14:26That's the way each one of us is.

14:30Those are the ways of what we call as the common man, the general human being.

14:38I ask you, is he worth being devoted to?

14:44And why do you pick some man, some woman and put him on some high pedestal which he

14:51is not worthy of?

14:54Why do you do that?

14:55Why do you do that?

14:59You know the reasons, right?

15:03Some loneliness, some hormonal upsurge, some cultural predisposition, some peer pressure,

15:27some cultural norm, movies, a lot of movies.

15:43So we feel that it is very, very necessary to have the central spot in our life occupied

15:50by a person.

15:53The movies tell us that unless there is a special person in your life, you are really

16:00missing out on something big.

16:04And then you are seized by FOMO.

16:08What is FOMO?

16:10Fear of missing out.

16:11Oh my God, everybody has that.

16:15I'm the only one left behind.

16:17I must also have a partner, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, husband, wife, something.

16:22Hey, go grab somebody.

16:26So you go out and grab some Johnny next door.

16:36He was busy washing his sandals.

16:45And you went up to him and threw your most seductive smile.

16:53And then he too was infected by FOMO.

16:57He said, now that I have the opportunity, why shouldn't I capitalize?

17:02And thus came about the relationship.

17:05And you call it a holy bond made in heaven.

17:14Why do we do that?

17:21Eight years of life.

17:23Come on, think of it.

17:25Eight years of life.

17:28You are spending behind some unworthy person.

17:33And let me assure you, most persons are just unworthy.

17:39So it's always better and always safer to not spend your life on persons.

17:52If you have to invest your hours, your months, your years, invest them on a cause.

17:59The cause could be your own development or general development, social welfare, whatever.

18:08But let it be a cause, not a person.

18:11Let the cause occupy you fully.

18:19Don't just become somebody's washbasin.

18:31He keeps spitting and you keep collecting.

18:41And very soon, you clean yourself up just to receive more of the same stuff.

18:55This applies to both men and women, applies to all people, young and old, and especially

19:01applies to those who are gripped with loneliness and FOMO syndrome.

19:14There can be nothing worse than being saddled with, being tied to, being chained to some

19:28general unworthy person in life.

19:31That's the worst hell you can create for yourself.

19:38Don't do that.

19:44If life is benevolent enough to offer you a great, great companion, nothing like it.

19:59But if you cannot have a great companion, live all by yourself, your solitary existence

20:10is 200 times better than being coupled with a mischief maker.

20:24And remember, hurt comes from broken expectations.

20:33You expect so much from the other, basically because you have not internally achieved what

20:43you should have principally achieved for yourself, all by yourself.

20:50You did not do what you should have done for yourself, therefore you now expect somebody

20:56else to do good things for you.

21:02The responsibility to bring goodness to your life rests primarily upon you, not upon somebody

21:12else.

21:14To bring somebody to life and then expect that somebody to bring richness and goodness

21:20to your life is not wise.

21:28As an adult, it is your own responsibility to fill up your life with beauty, with wellness,

21:34with goodness.

21:37And if you are not doing it, why and how must someone else do it for you?

21:47But you expect that from the other person, the expectations will never be fulfilled and

21:53you will be hurt.

21:55Why do you want to invite so much sorrow?

22:11It is a fallacy that some person is very necessary for your life, no, no.

22:26Something else is necessary for life, especially in today's world if you see, you do not need

22:35a person for physical survival or physical security.

22:42There is the economy, there are systems and there is security.

22:49You do not need a male or a female to be around you for all those reasons.

22:56You can earn for yourself, there are all kinds of services available, you can have food,

23:00you can have medical care, you can have all these material things that you want.

23:07So it is obvious that a person cannot be your primary need.

23:13Your primary need is something else, identify that and work hard to meet that.

23:24Accepting it.

23:33If you will not fill your life with highness, with joy, with understanding, with beauty

23:50and purity, the result will be that you will be forced to fill up your life with some kind

23:59of rubbish.

24:01Often that rubbish is in the form of a person.

24:07Don't let that happen to you.

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