00:00Hey, Pugzai.
00:01Hey.
00:02Okay.
00:03Good morning.
00:04Good morning.
00:05Today, we're eating lamb.
00:07Lamb.
00:08Grilled lamb.
00:09We're eating crab rangoon.
00:11Yeah.
00:12It's definitely going to be delicious.
00:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15And then, we can make pizza.
00:18Today is going to be a lot of fun.
00:21And, you know, we got the fellas coming,
00:24so we're about to bro down with the boys.
00:26Listen, a lot of people said this reunion wasn't going to happen.
00:29China, Meiguo, they're not on good terms.
00:33Nah, nah, nah.
00:34We back.
00:35We are one.
00:37One.
00:38Together, we persevere.
00:40Together, we drink.
00:42And together, we eat.
00:45After reuniting with Pugzai the previous night
00:48over a feast of donkey and copious amounts of beer and baijiu,
00:54he offered to take me to the headquarters of his mobile lamb business
00:58for another day of eating and drinking like kings.
01:02Hey, how are you?
01:03So, we're here at Pugzai's lamb headquarters.
01:07I didn't know the extent of his lamb business,
01:09but it looks like he has a fleet of trucks that have lamb ovens in the back.
01:15They all have his logo on them.
01:17This is legit.
01:19I mean, we got his logo up there on this giant sign.
01:22This essentially translates to Pugzai's fully cooked mobile lamb service.
01:26He can bring a lamb anywhere you want one,
01:29moving 150 kilometers of this location.
01:35He threw in the charcoal.
01:36Now he's got, like, a leaf blower.
01:38He's just feeding the flames.
01:44That's a nice-looking lamb right there.
01:46Very nice-looking lamb.
01:48And it looks slightly more appetizing than the donkey had.
01:52Alkan.
01:53Okay.
01:54So, he's just going to let that cook for three hours.
01:56Can you tell him?
01:57I'd like to give him some sunglasses.
02:11Oh, yes!
02:12And Pugzai had some gifts for me, too.
02:14Oh, this fits perfectly.
02:16My very own Pugzai mobile lamb business merch
02:19and his famous shades that he's worn in so many vids.
02:25Yeah.
02:33Is that a truck that has fucking cannons on it?
02:36Oh, yeah.
02:40Okay, right now there's a funeral procession going on,
02:43and they're shooting fucking cannons out of that thing.
02:49Oh, wow.
02:54Oh, my God.
03:01Wow, that thing's wild.
03:05Can you sharpen a knife?
03:06Yeah, sure.
03:21It's not bad.
03:22That's like the meanest thing a Chinese person can tell you.
03:28While we waited for the lamb to be ready,
03:30we ripped some tornadoes.
03:36And Pugzai and his buddies helped me chef up some crab rangoons.
03:39Oh, my God.
03:40Oh, my God, that's a crab rangoon.
03:42Oh, my goon.
03:43So they could try them for the first time.
03:48Watch the next Gooned Up episode for a full recap of that.
03:51But spoiler alert.
03:55Pugzai is definitely a goon guy.
04:02He enjoyed them so much,
04:04I figured he should try another American delicacy as well.
04:11No, so he has never tried a pizza.
04:13We brought him a couple frozen pizzas from Shanghai.
04:17We've got Italian-style salami and cheese,
04:20and then Italian-style cheese and beef
04:23that we're going to try to cook in the lamb oven.
04:26I don't think this is going to work, but we'll figure it out.
04:29Actually, coal-fired pizza is my favorite type of pizza,
04:31and I think he has coal at the bottom of that.
04:38I think this is going to work really perfectly.
04:40I mean, it's Chinese pizza cooked in a Chinese way.
04:48Lamb-infused crust.
04:50You've heard of stuffed crust.
04:51Pizza Hut has that, but we got lamb crust.
04:54I think this is the first lamb-roasted pizza ever in history.
05:03I think they need another five minutes, and then...
05:06We got this frozen pizza in China too,
05:09so even if we cooked it perfectly,
05:10I can't vouch for this type of frozen pizza.
05:13I'm going to give a very honest review,
05:14but I am going to be rating this pizza on the China pizza scale.
05:18It's going to probably gain a couple bonus points.
05:21Whoa.
05:23Ooh, this is getting a little hard.
05:25The middle of it is so soft.
05:27I don't want to move it too much.
05:31Three minutes.
05:32It would be a lot better if we could just put the pizza on the coals,
05:35but that's tough to do when you have a giant lamb
05:38covering the entire oven.
05:41Oh, okay.
05:42Whoa.
05:43And then we'll get some lamb grease on the top.
05:50I think this one is good, yeah.
05:52And then is it getting burnt on the bottom?
05:54Yeah.
05:58The bottoms could be absolutely torched.
06:00That's okay, that's okay.
06:02It's actually torched, but it's still edible.
06:05I'm worried about this one.
06:07You know what, I think it's fine.
06:09Oh, this one's perfect.
06:13Holy shit.
06:18I'm taking them off.
06:19I'm not going to have them eat their first pizza
06:21and have there be black olives on it.
06:22All right, let's go.
06:27He says you cut the pizza very seriously.
06:29I'm taking this very seriously.
06:34This actually, if I had this frozen pizza in the U.S.,
06:37I'd be like, this looks like good frozen pizza.
06:39So shut out all these.
06:41A German supermarket chain.
06:43We say, one bite, everybody knows the rules.
06:48Can you say it?
06:49One bite.
06:50One bite.
06:51Everybody.
06:52One bite, everybody.
06:53Knows the rules.
06:55Say it again.
06:56Knows the rules.
06:57Knows the rules.
06:59Yes.
07:00One bite.
07:01One bite.
07:02Everybody.
07:03Everybody.
07:04Knows the rules.
07:05Knows the rules.
07:07Everyone knows the rules.
07:09Okay.
07:19And he knows to take more than one bite.
07:21Let's go.
07:28All right, now I'm not speaking for Pongsai.
07:31In terms of frozen pizzas I've had,
07:34this is not bad at all.
07:37I mean, if I'm rating this just on a frozen pizza scale,
07:40this is like low eights, high sevens.
07:43And now, let's try one of the,
07:45this is like a beef and marscapone cheese.
07:51It's well.
07:52It's well.
07:53Now we have to explain to him,
07:55one through ten,
07:57how would he rate this pizza?
07:59And he can say like,
08:01he can say like 6.4.
08:03He shouldn't just say a round number.
08:06No, no.
08:07He needs a decimal.
08:108.2.
08:11Dude.
08:12You heard me say I was thinking low eights,
08:15and he agreed.
08:20He's a pepperoni guy.
08:21Dude, with one look at Pongsai,
08:23you can tell he's a pepperoni guy.
08:359.6.
08:429.
08:43Nice, nice.
08:4510 to ...
08:469.
08:489.
08:4910, 10.
08:50They need to work in a decimal.
08:519.8.
08:529.8.
08:53Wow, 9.8.
08:547.6.
08:56All right, all right.
08:57A 7.6, that's, I mean,
08:58that's probably what Portnoy would give this.
09:00This guy, this guy's had his fair share of pizza.
09:02share of pizza. Yeah I think that actually bumped it up a point. If we
09:07didn't cook these in the in the lamb oven and just cook these that like in my
09:12home oven it would probably be high sixes but like the lamb oven bumped it
09:18up to low eights. Can you tell him I'm very happy that his first time
09:23trying pizza was with me. All right and that's the review and look at it we got
09:30to give a lot of these folks pizza. That pizza was gone in like two minutes hmm
09:35and hey we couldn't have done it without your lamb oven so. Oh is he
09:41putting on it like a lamb headband? Holy shit. This guy fucking knows what he is
09:46doing. It was time for the master to get to work.
09:55Zai, Meiguo they call this being the pit boss and you're the one who just wipes
10:00down the meat. So he's gonna lather it on and then I'm gonna sprinkle it.
10:09Kuman goes great with lamb. This guy knows what he's doing. This is like
10:16watching Michelangelo paint Basilican Chapel. I don't know. Sistine Chapel.
10:25Okay. Whoa. Okay. Wow look at that just falls right off.
10:35All the skin. I got it. Okay. Best lamb I've ever had. This is like
10:46insanely good. No offense but better than donkey head.
10:54Oh you better not be throwing that out. There's a lot of good meat on those
10:58bones. 9.9. Lunch was served. Beautiful and I'm like so excited to eat more of
11:08this. Pong guy knew he was gonna have some Americans in town so he brought a
11:13bottle of 100 proof vodka. He might have been better off drinking baijiu buddy.
11:18However I'm so excited to eat this lamb that now concerned about all the baijiu
11:23and the vodka that's on this table.
11:34It's 1700 RMB dude. For everything included. Everything. This would definitely be worth 1700 RMB.
11:43Look at how many people we're feeding. We're gonna have leftover food too. Do
11:48you throw in the cow pussy as like as like a bonus? While cooking Rangoon's
11:53earlier, Pong Zai offered to serve us a very unique side dish at lunch. Newbie?
11:58Oh my god Pong Zai. We're trying to make crab Rangoon's and he breaks out a cow
12:04vagina. I mean hey if you try my Rangoon's I'll at least take a bite of
12:10the cow box. Good for health? It's just not healthy. How many bulls did this cow
12:18sleep with? I need to know her body count before I eat her vagina.
12:24Never been kissed, never been touched until me and Pong Zai
12:30threw it in a pot and boiled it for a half hour. We're gonna be the first one to
12:35eat this cow's box. But something must have gotten lost in translation as it
12:40sure didn't look like any female private parts I've seen. This looks like the head
12:44of a human penis. I don't think I can do this. This is insane. I thought I was
12:48eating vagina. I did not sign up for like literally what looks to be a human penis.
12:52The whole time he's been saying newbien and not new. Yeah oh so the whole time
13:18this was cow penis. Because I was like obviously females don't have like a long
13:22thing like this hanging out but I thought it was the internal fallopian
13:26tubes. All right well one cock everybody knows the rules. It doesn't have an
13:34off-putting taste really but the texture is really fucking with me because I
13:39assume this would be the same texture of my own dick if it was cooked. Tried the
13:42dick now I'm gonna try the ball and then I can say I'm done. Definitely gonna need
13:48to dip that in the sauce. I tell them it's the best lamb I've had in my life
13:53and they immediately are feeding me cow dicking balls. I'm like come on let's
13:58keep the good vibes going. They just made me eat a lamb dick actually a cow dick
14:08which is a lot bigger. So I have a block of blue cheese that I was maybe gonna use. I
14:13haven't used yet. Everyone has to eat a chunk of blue cheese. This is not a fair
14:17trade at all. So you've seen it on land before.
14:23This dude just had the nerve to tell me that the texture of blue
14:29cheese is a little weird. How about the texture of penis and balls I just ate. I did not
14:36expect Pongzai's buddy to start spreading blue cheese on pieces of cow
14:39cock. Blue cheese dick? Listen I'm circumcised I don't get blue cheese on
14:45my dick. I need a slice of balls because I can call I can call it the blue balls.
14:48Blue balls sandwich. Bowl testicles, blue cheese, and a little bit of Chinese bread.
14:54Way better than the dick.
14:58Cumber. Yeah. Blue balls were a smash hit. Knife. I like a knife. Yep. All right we're
15:05gonna have blue ball vendors here soon. To repay Pongzai for the extravagant
15:10feast of lamb, cow penis, and vodka, I offered to help him film a quick
15:15commercial for his business.
15:40Welcome to the lamb van baby. If you live in the Hebei area within 150 kilometers of this
15:53location, Pongzai and his lamb van can pull up and cook you the best lamb of
15:58your life. 1,700 RMB all-inclusive. He pulls up in the lamb van, he cooks the
16:05lamb, and you and like 20 of your friends get to have the best meal of
16:10your life. And if you pay an extra 100 RMB, you also get a giant cow penis.
16:17I gotta shout out Bert who's been filming this whole thing. I'm in China
16:22solo so he's been a huge help. He has a YouTube channel of his own. Bert digs
16:27this? Yes. Yes. And shout out my guy Mike. This guy's Chinese is on point. So if if
16:34he wasn't here, we wouldn't be doing a lot of communicating with Pongzai. We'd
16:37probably just strictly be drinking the entire time and not talking to each
16:41other. So shout out Mike. Appreciate you and appreciate you Bert. You guys have
16:46been crushing it.
16:51Then we all went for a casual afternoon stroll to the beautiful farm fields of
16:56Hebei.
17:12Where we sadly had to say our final farewell. The haters said this couldn't
17:19be done. The haters said no, you know, now USA goes one way, China goes the other.
17:25I said no, no, no. I got some connections in Zhangguo and I'm so happy to
17:31reconnect.
17:39Dude, you always got to check in on your brothers. If you're watching this at home,
17:42always check in on your brothers. Lost track of beers, that's not the important
17:48thing. The important thing is that I didn't lose track of you.
18:25I didn't lose track of you.
18:55I didn't lose track of you.
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