00:00 I was 13 years old when I discovered that I was an intersex person.
00:04 I had to do an ultrasound to look at my female reproductive organs
00:08 and the doctor told me that he couldn't see anything.
00:11 I immediately started crying.
00:14 I didn't want to date boys at that point
00:17 because it's scary to just tell them I was an intersex person.
00:21 My current boyfriend and I have been together for a year.
00:24 My mother, she was very cautious at the beginning.
00:26 She did always know I wanted to have kids.
00:29 So she was like, "Are you sure?"
00:31 I think I was like 11 years old when I started really doing my makeup
00:37 and that kind of thing.
00:38 I always really felt like feminine, I think,
00:43 because I also just grew up with the idea that I was a girl.
00:48 I'm Joyce, I'm 21 years old and I'm an intersex person.
00:52 Girls have XX chromosomes, boys have XY chromosomes.
00:56 I have androgen insensitivity syndrome,
00:59 which basically means that I have XY chromosomes,
01:02 but because I'm 100% insensitive to androgens or testosterone,
01:09 I developed as a woman in the uterus.
01:13 I identify as a female, I always felt like a female.
01:16 So when I got my diagnosis,
01:18 at first I was a bit struggling with my own identity.
01:21 I was like, "Am I a boy? Am I a girl?"
01:24 I was like 40 years old when I discovered that I was an intersex person.
01:29 It was, of course, for all of us, a shock,
01:31 because we didn't know what it was.
01:33 I've never heard of intersex before I was diagnosed,
01:37 and also my parents didn't know what it was.
01:40 Is this me? - Yeah.
01:42 And how old was I here?
01:44 Uh...
01:46 Seven. - Seven.
01:48 And at this age, I think I was also really tall, right?
01:51 Yes, you were always tall.
01:54 When I was younger, I went to the pediatrician regularly
01:58 to get a check-up on how tall I was growing.
02:01 I also had really a lot of pain in my back
02:04 because I was growing so much,
02:07 and I always was really, really tired.
02:09 I always thought there was something happening,
02:13 but I didn't know what it was.
02:15 I went to the pediatrician with my mum for just a check-up,
02:19 and then they discovered that my hormone levels were really high.
02:24 I needed to do an ultrasound
02:27 to look at my femur reproductive organs,
02:30 and the doctor told me when he was doing the ultrasound
02:32 that he couldn't see anything.
02:34 So that was a really big shock to me,
02:36 and I immediately started crying
02:38 and had an awful day that I will always remember.
02:42 I think just afterwards, my diagnosis,
02:45 that was just the most confusing and negative time.
02:50 At the beginning, we were worried
02:51 because we didn't know what intersex was,
02:57 and we heard, "You can't have children of your own,
03:02 and you are so good with children."
03:05 So, yeah, we were worried about that.
03:07 At that time, I was in the middle of puberty
03:09 and really finding out who I was as a person.
03:12 So when I got my diagnosis, it was kind of difficult for me.
03:16 It was just a really hard time for all of us,
03:20 but I have an amazing family,
03:22 and they were just really accepting
03:24 and helping me also with all of the things
03:28 that I went through at such a young age.
03:31 - You know, there are good days and there are bad days.
03:34 - Of course, that's the funny thing with intersex.
03:37 You can accept yourself,
03:39 but you always will have part of your life
03:42 that it is harder that you have a diagnosis,
03:45 because I see friends of mine that are gonna get pregnant
03:49 and will have children,
03:51 and I will be not able to have those kind of things.
03:55 Sometimes it will hurt a little bit more.
03:58 - I understand.
03:59 That's why I'm so proud of you,
04:01 because you've been strong, a strong woman now about this.
04:06 (speaking in foreign language)
04:11 (laughing)
04:13 - My current boyfriend, I met on a dating app.
04:16 We've been together a year.
04:18 In the middle of puberty,
04:19 I saw a lot of my friends started dating boys,
04:23 and I was just surrounded with my head.
04:26 I didn't wanna date boys at that point.
04:29 It was really scary to just tell them
04:32 I was an intersex person,
04:34 but then I started to put it all on my social media,
04:37 so I never had to tell them face to face.
04:40 So that was always a really safe place for me
04:44 to just keep the distance a little bit.
04:47 - Hey.
04:50 Now let's go take the dogs for a walk, yeah?
04:54 - I know he told a friend of his
04:58 that he was matched with me on Tinder
05:01 and that I'm an intersex person,
05:04 and he was like,
05:05 do you think I should go on a date with her?
05:07 But then the friend told him,
05:09 of course, just go on a date with her.
05:11 You don't know what's gonna happen,
05:12 and maybe you really like her.
05:14 - Before you meet with some people,
05:16 you go look them up online,
05:18 and you try to find something about them,
05:21 and it happened to be when I Googled Joyce,
05:25 but it's not something that held me back.
05:27 I was planning on telling my parents.
05:29 My sister's also a very nosy person, just like me,
05:32 and she was looking up Joyce,
05:33 and my mother Googled her as well.
05:37 So they found out through that way.
05:38 They were like, hey, is there anything you want to tell us?
05:40 I was like, not particularly.
05:43 'Cause it's not like I'm ashamed or anything,
05:44 but it's just like how,
05:45 it's quite a delicate subject sometimes.
05:48 Like, how do I introduce it properly
05:49 without a stigma or anything around it?
05:52 - So of course, me and Gus can't have children
05:55 of our own in the future,
05:57 because I don't have any female reproductive organs.
06:00 But yeah, I still have a big wish
06:03 to maybe be a mom in the future.
06:05 So we discussed that maybe we can adopt
06:08 or have children through surrogacy.
06:10 - My mother, she was very cautious in the beginning.
06:13 She didn't always know I wanted to have kids,
06:15 and so I'm quite a family person.
06:18 And so she was like, are you sure?
06:21 Just being a cautious parent, just warning me,
06:25 like, hey, have you really thought well and clear about it?
06:28 But the most important thing is that you also become
06:31 a parent with someone who you truly love
06:32 and share a special bond with.
06:34 So yeah, that's Joyce for me.
06:37 - Intersex has always been a really big taboo.
06:40 I would wish that all the people knew
06:45 about what intersex just basically is,
06:48 so that other people that are diagnosed
06:51 as an intersex person, they would see
06:54 that it wasn't just really a big thing to be intersex.
06:58 - I think the main reason for the stigma
06:59 is people just do not understand what it entails.
07:03 And if people do start to understand what it entails,
07:08 it will lead to so much less confusion
07:10 and maybe to perhaps more acceptance.
07:12 Our relationships, like any other,
07:13 it's not different from previous ones I've had,
07:15 but it is possible to have a normal,
07:17 meaningful relationship with someone who's intersex.
07:21 - A lot of people still feel ashamed about being intersex
07:26 because there wasn't being spoken about.
07:29 So there are a lot of intersex persons
07:32 that don't want to tell their story.
07:34 So I hope my story reaches them
07:36 and they see you can just talk about it
07:38 and it's fine to just be who you are.
07:42 (upbeat music)
07:46 (upbeat music)
07:48 (upbeat music)
07:51 (upbeat music)
07:53 (upbeat music)
07:56 (upbeat music)
07:59 (upbeat music)
08:01 [BLANK_AUDIO]
Comments