00:00I am both male and female. I have XY chromosomes but I'm a woman. At 16 years
00:06old I hadn't started puberty and so when I went to see the doctor I learned I was
00:10intersex. When the doctors explained to us that they found no ovaries it was
00:15kind of a shock. I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have kids but
00:20that didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating. Today I'm
00:25going on a blind date and I'm nervous to see what my date will think about my
00:29being intersex. So is having kids like something you see for yourself in your
00:33future? This is basically how I get my estrogen. It's just a standard birth
00:43control pill that I take. I actually get four packs each time I get it so that I
00:50just get a period every three months. Basically with my condition I'm pretty
00:56much in menopause if I don't take it. Growing up people didn't know I was
01:01intersex because externally the doctors considered me a girl. By the time I was
01:0716 I hadn't gotten a period or started going through puberty and so we had to
01:12go to my pediatrician to kind of see what was going on. They saw that I had a
01:17uterus but it was really small because it wasn't developing and where my ovaries
01:23should have been they weren't developing as well and so that's why I wasn't
01:26getting any estrogen that would trigger that puberty. It was really awkward
01:32because everybody's already gone through puberty and I'm like buying my first
01:36bras in late high school and just learning how to use tampons and pads. I
01:42definitely felt a little different. I feel like why am I younger than everyone
01:47else physically? Like why have I not matured in that way? And it was just weird.
01:52I feel like starting out to me intersex meant this is taboo. I don't want to tell
02:00anyone about it. I just had a lot of anxiety around it. In the past couple of
02:06years I feel like it was kind of exciting because it just made sense like oh I'm not
02:10just this or that. I'm different and that was okay with me. Looking in the mirror
02:17now I feel like I've definitely come into my own. I'm still growing but like
02:22overall I just feel more confident in myself.
02:28Since openly identifying as intersex it's something I'm really proud of. Hey!
02:34How's it going? Good. How about you? Good. I am six feet tall. I wear size 11 shoes. I can
02:42palm a women's basketball. It kind of just reshaped my view of all things gender
02:46and how that's looked at in society. So basically I want to create like a
02:52wildlife habitat for all the butterflies. I'm creating a space where all of these
02:57butterflies can transform and come into their own which is kind of similar to me
03:02like I have to take my hormones my estrogen in order to go through
03:06puberty and like just become a full-blown adult. These tiny little ones are the
03:10aster. My mom supported me through the whole process by being the one who's
03:14taken me to my doctor's appointment, my surgeries, caring for me in the aftermath
03:20of those surgeries. She's always been there for me. When the doctors explained to
03:24us that they found no ovaries it was kind of a shock and then it's the first thing
03:30that you said before I could even kind of put everything together or think about
03:35it you said oh gosh I guess I'm just not gonna be able to have babies. For you to
03:39be that age that's the first thing for you to think about that's kind of
03:43heartbreaking you know. I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be able to have
03:48kids. I'm sad for my mom not being able to have like grandchildren from me but it
03:53didn't really stress me out too much until I started dating later in college. When I
03:59was still dating men I would worry about telling the person and if it would
04:02impact how they felt about me and if they would want to continue pursuing a
04:07relationship with me just based on the fact that I can't have kids naturally.
04:11It's definitely changed a lot now that I'm dating women I can be open about it
04:15and feel comfortable with it. So I'm going on a blind date today. I want to see if
04:22you can help me pick out my outfit. When I go on dates with people and I let them
04:25know about me being intersex I would hope that they are just open-minded and
04:31curious and hopefully that's something that wouldn't inhibit them from wanting
04:36to continue to get to know me. This top white jacket okay cute. So how do you
04:45think they'll feel once you explain that you're intersex? I feel like they're already
04:50dating women so they're a little more open-minded than the average person.
04:54What Sierra is actually searching for is love and a person that is like her
04:59kind-hearted and compassionate. As she's developed into a young adult I feel
05:05like she's also learning more about her intersex and she's wanting other people
05:10to listen. Okay. Well look at you! Oh my gosh you look so good! I hope that she finds the person to be
05:22interesting and open to listening and being positive with Sierra. Have fun! Thank you!
05:29Good luck! Yep I'll see you in a little bit. Have fun!
05:34I definitely get nervous about blind dates. I get nervous about dates in general.
05:38Especially with women. I'm scared. They're beautiful.
05:41Hi! Can I do like a mojito? I'll do a mark. Oh that sounds good actually. That's it. You can try mine.
05:58Were you nervous about today? Perfect. So am I. Yeah. I still am. Have you been on a blind date before?
06:04I've never been on a blind date before. I'm pleased. I don't feel like I've gotten too many questions from
06:14dates about being intersex because I feel like most of the time people don't really even know
06:19what to ask. I don't necessarily feel obligated to tell people right away but I'm definitely open
06:27to bringing it up naturally if it comes up. How has dating been for you? It's been all right. I've only had
06:33like one longer term relationship like with women wise because I figured out I was into women pretty
06:40late in life. It was kind of like this overall journey I was going on because I also learned that
06:47I was intersex at a later age. I don't know if you've heard of that before. I have but I haven't
06:52met anyone that's intersex. I was 16 when I first realized like I couldn't have kids and stuff.
06:57Oh okay. I was going to ask that too. Is having kids like something you see for yourself in your future?
07:03I've been pretty unsure about it. Sometimes I'm leaning towards no and then other times I'm like
07:08oh I think it would be cool to be have a family. What about you? I'm the same. Are you? Yeah. Yeah I
07:14think a family sounds cute. So how do you feel about like dating an intersex person? Like does it
07:19make you feel weird or put you off or like do you think you're comfortable with something like that?
07:23I don't think it puts me off at all. I would definitely be interested in dating someone that's
07:27intersex. I don't think it's a big deal. I think the day went really well. She was really nice and
07:34chill. I felt like we had a good conversation. I definitely would be open to dating intersex people
07:39in the future. Like I think it's just something that makes them unique but I think we're we're
07:43going to have a second date. Yeah. I think if people understood intersex more I feel like people would
07:50be more understanding and realize it's just who we are. Biological sex isn't binary and I'm living
07:57proof of that and I'm proud of who I am.
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