00:00 So I originally started wearing the mask
00:02 because I'm a very anxious person
00:04 and my friends, if they had found out
00:07 that I was the one making music
00:08 like the music that I was making,
00:10 they would have just roasted me to death.
00:12 Three years later, I've reached a point
00:14 where I don't need the training wheels anymore.
00:16 I should be happy with who I am
00:19 and I should be able to express myself.
00:22 Everyone has told me this is a bad career choice.
00:24 Maybe it is, but fuck it.
00:26 Like, this is what I wanted to do.
00:28 (upbeat music)
00:30 The feeling of wanting to take the mask off started
00:37 around the time I wrote "Migraine."
00:38 It was me taking control again of Boy With Uke.
00:42 I felt very good about the decision.
00:44 Obviously I felt a lot of pressure.
00:55 It felt like I needed to just continue blowing up on TikTok.
01:00 If I didn't, I would fail and I'd lose everything.
01:03 Obviously that's not true.
01:04 It's an irrational fear, but when you're in the process,
01:07 I feel like a blowing up really fast,
01:08 one slip up and it's like, you're gone.
01:11 You fall like when you're on a tightrope.
01:13 I've never been on a tightrope,
01:14 but it was ultimately just like a fear of losing it all.
01:18 ♪ I'm on a tightrope, can't hit the high notes ♪
01:20 ♪ Baby I need Iboprofen, I know ♪
01:23 ♪ That you'll take me back home ♪
01:24 ♪ Don't leave me alone, I need a friend ♪
01:27 It's literally impossible to make new friends.
01:29 I can't talk about what I do.
01:31 Few months ago this summer, I met a new person.
01:33 It was my friend's friend,
01:34 and he was actually a Boy With Uke fan.
01:37 And he had no idea I was Boy With Uke,
01:38 but we were talking and he was like,
01:40 "Hey man, what do you do?
01:42 Why are you here?"
01:44 And I was like, "Oh, I'm a project manager for Snapchat."
01:46 And he was asking me questions.
01:47 I was like, "Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah."
01:50 I'm not actually supposed to talk about this
01:52 that much it's not supposed to be public.
01:53 And he's like, "Oh yeah, I understand."
01:55 But it's so funny 'cause he's a fan and he had no idea.
01:58 That was what I genuinely felt like a few years ago.
02:11 It was really in theme of who I was
02:14 and what Boy With Uke was at the time.
02:16 It didn't matter if people knew Boy With Uke
02:18 or knew the person behind the mask.
02:21 It was just this desire to be heard by everyone.
02:24 But if I could rewrite that line,
02:25 I'd probably say like,
02:26 "I'm not stressed that you've never heard of me.
02:28 You can listen to me if you want."
02:30 When you hop off the highway,
02:44 the highway is a metaphor for, I guess, the music industry.
02:47 You can't stop.
02:49 If you stop, other people will start,
02:51 they'll go past you.
02:52 You can't turn around.
02:53 It's just nonstop.
02:55 Sometimes you just want to like, get off of it.
02:58 I was supposed to sample the Roblox "oof."
03:08 It is like a dying sound.
03:10 Like when you die, it goes, "Ooh, ooh, ooh."
03:12 And I wanted to use that in a song.
03:13 The paperwork would have been a headache
03:15 'cause it's not even Roblox's sound.
03:17 So I just said "oof" with my own voice.
03:19 Looking back now,
03:39 the biggest thing that was trapping me,
03:41 I think, was the mask.
03:42 Even if it was just in my own head,
03:44 it was like, I couldn't get away from that.
03:45 Without the mask, I can breathe a lot easier
03:49 and I can see a lot better too.
03:50 It's a nice change to be able to see my hands.
03:53 Inside, I feel like relieved, you know?
03:56 Free, I feel free now.
03:57 The beginning of the third verse sort of comes from,
04:10 I guess, a more youthful side of who I am
04:12 and just wanting to do as many things as I can
04:16 before I die.
04:17 So the ending of the third verse,
04:30 first of all, it's very difficult to perform.
04:32 There's no more air in my lungs
04:34 by the time I'm done with it,
04:35 which I think is cool 'cause it sort of reflects
04:38 how I feel in my career.
04:39 Now, it's not about having the most numbers.
04:43 It's more so just making what I personally think
04:46 is really cool.
04:49 It sucked wearing it.
04:50 Like, I get physically ill from thinking about putting it on.
04:55 It didn't smell very good,
04:56 especially after hot days.
04:58 It's like sensory deprivation
05:00 when you need all your senses.
05:02 Like, I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe,
05:04 I couldn't smell, I couldn't hear.
05:05 I couldn't keep doing it.
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