00:00 When I think about the mentality I was in, not thinking I'd make it to 25, being here
00:04 right now at 32.
00:05 Honestly, I'm like, "Damn, that was a dramatic little boy.
00:08 Shame on him.
00:09 Dramatic ass.
00:10 Go to sleep, little nigga."
00:11 I'm like, "Damn, thank God I don't feel like that no more."
00:13 What I remember most about making "Heavenly Father" is that Punch was not going to let
00:23 me not make that song.
00:25 He recorded it.
00:26 If he wasn't there, I wouldn't have made it.
00:28 I wouldn't have had the courage to sing.
00:29 Ten years later, it's a very pivotal part of my music and creative process and probably
00:34 more known for the singing in a bar.
00:36 That's what I remember most.
00:37 And it says it came and saved it.
00:38 It was going to be on the fucking floor, scrap floor, because I didn't like it.
00:41 It's the making of people believing in me, really.
00:44 It was me giving something raw to myself and the homies making me put it out.
00:47 "Now everybody telling me a lie.
00:51 Well, Lord, you gave me something for my soul.
00:55 See I don't want to think of suicide, so please don't take the lock of your mind door."
01:00 Those opening lines come from my awareness as a young man, feeling that people were feeding
01:07 me information and lifestyles that I wasn't really sure was really conducive to just living
01:13 every day.
01:14 It was like, "Everybody's telling me a lie."
01:15 "And I was tired of fucking all them girls.
01:18 And I was tired of spending all my dough.
01:21 And if I give my story to the world, I wonder if they bought me for a show."
01:26 I, as a kid, was very much so influenced to have as much sex as I could.
01:32 And I don't know if it was just the culture of 90s babies or whatever, but in college
01:37 it was just fucking and it was pretty toxic.
01:39 I was early realizing that.
01:41 And I guess when I look back on it in reflection, I'm like, "Damn, I'm subconscious."
01:44 I realized I was a storyteller when I realized I wasn't good at telling stories.
01:59 I'm not good at telling a linear story or how you can listen to Snoop Dogg old shit
02:03 and he's starting the morning and ending or some good day.
02:06 I'm not like that.
02:07 That's why I appreciate Future and Wayne because they taught me how to use non sequiturs and
02:12 vivid imagery to paint a whole movie instead of a story.
02:16 In the midst of self-deprecating and fucking woe is me-ing, I think I'm blessed that I
02:32 always seem to remind myself, "Chill, you ain't the only one going through it."
02:38 Compassion for self is compassion for others.
02:40 When I think about the mentality I was in, not thinking I'd make it to 25, being here
02:56 right now at 32, honestly I'm like, "Damn, that was a dramatic little boy.
03:00 Shame on him.
03:01 Dramatic ass.
03:02 Go to sleep, little nigga."
03:03 I'm like, "Damn, thank God I don't feel like that no more."
03:05 When I was six, I accidentally hung myself and my parents had to come get me down.
03:32 It was an Eastlake project, so I don't know how it happened.
03:34 We were fucking around and I thought it'd be funny.
03:36 And then I didn't think it was that funny no more.
03:38 And they cut me down.
03:39 I was like six.
03:40 So I was just referring to that.
03:41 It's some crazy shit.
03:42 Yo, my dad used to call me drunk all the time.
03:54 He's an alcoholic.
03:55 Shame on that man.
03:56 Shame on niggas who come into their kids' lives and be crying on the phone, talking
04:00 about da-da-da-da-da, "You don't love me."
04:03 And it's like, "Nigga, I didn't ask you to call me like this.
04:04 It's six o'clock in the morning, bro.
04:06 Why you drunk?"
04:07 My dad's really put me and my brothers and my sister through it, man.
04:10 So fuck him.
04:11 But shout out to Recovery, man.
04:32 When I hear this third verse, I'm like, "Damn, what the fuck was I doing, bro?
04:35 Where were my friends?"
04:36 Like right now, I don't feel like I have actual friends.
04:38 Which I'm cool with saying that on Genius.
04:40 I got a couple homies.
04:41 I know we're closer than siblings, but I don't think I've made any friends the past few years,
04:45 which is sad.
04:46 Totally have been focused on not doing the right shit, man.
04:49 Like being entertainment for other people and not treating my life as serious as I should've.
04:54 I know some niggas that talk good, the wise men from a long line, the bitch made and bridesmen.
05:00 You never had nothing but fucking dreams.
05:02 You just caught up in the hype.
05:03 The fashion and so on seems the limelight.
05:06 I know that I rhyme tight.
05:07 No need for your two cents and burning your blueprints.
05:11 These people think I really give a fuck about the shit they give a fuck about.
05:15 Just need a moment of silence.
05:16 Just close your fucking mouth.
05:17 Infatuated with violence, gun in my fucking mouth.
05:20 So you'll know that I'm serious, know what I'm talking about.
05:23 I just don't like rapping ass niggas, bro.
05:25 I've never liked dudes who rap about fucking rapping and they shits about rapping and it's
05:31 about how good of a rapper they are.
05:33 Whatever they getting for being a good rapper, it's like you can't even spell, nigga.
05:38 You not that tight.
05:39 Your entangles aren't that good.
05:40 You not using proper vocabulary.
05:43 It's like you not a real rapper.
05:44 Like chill.
05:45 So I hate hearing lyrical miracle ass niggas, bro.
05:48 I bet you Black Thought ain't got one book in his car.
05:51 Cause he a real one.
05:52 His words is his shit.
05:53 You feel me?
05:54 I ain't got punchlines so I be saying what I be meaning.
06:22 This one makes me doing the genius kind of weird.
06:24 It's like, yeah, confirmed.
06:26 For sure.
06:28 We living in the present, but the past still exists.
06:32 That kid still going through that shit.
06:34 And I just feel terrible for putting him through it.
06:36 But you know, we straight now.
06:38 We all right now.
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