00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video.
00:08 To start off, we would like to thank you all
00:10 for the support that you've given us.
00:12 Psych2Go's mission is to make psychology
00:14 and mental health more accessible to everyone,
00:16 and you definitely help us do that.
00:18 Now, back to the video.
00:20 Is there someone in your life who asks for your help a lot,
00:24 but then never takes your advice?
00:26 Do they always talk about how bad their situation is,
00:29 but don't do anything to help change it?
00:32 This person may have a victim-based mindset,
00:35 where they think that everyone is out to get them
00:37 and that everything is out of their control.
00:39 As a result, you may feel drained
00:42 to constantly witness their perpetual state
00:44 of discontentment.
00:45 So here are 10 signs
00:47 that someone is always playing the victim.
00:50 Before we begin, we would like to mention
00:52 that this video is for educational purposes only.
00:55 It's not intended to diagnose.
00:57 Please talk with a counselor, life coach,
00:59 or other professional if you're struggling.
01:01 It's also important to note
01:03 that there are people who have hardships that are valid,
01:06 even if it may be hard to understand.
01:08 This video is not to discredit
01:09 or devalue the experiences of others,
01:12 but to shed light on an issue.
01:14 Now let's begin.
01:15 Number one, they try to manipulate you.
01:18 Does it seem like there's always something bad happening
01:21 to this person?
01:22 While it may seem like someone
01:23 is just going through a hard time,
01:25 they may be pulling the victim card to manipulate you.
01:29 Perhaps they always try to find ways
01:31 to get you to feel sorry for them,
01:32 or they blame you for things out of their control.
01:35 They may be trying to get you to believe
01:37 that they are the victim,
01:39 to get you to abandon your own needs to support theirs.
01:42 Number two, they place blame elsewhere.
01:46 Have they ever taken any responsibility for their feelings
01:49 or made efforts to improve their situation?
01:52 People with a victim mentality
01:54 tend to blame their shortcomings on external factors.
01:57 Perhaps they feel that a bad relationship from their past
02:00 is the cause of their unhappiness.
02:02 They may use this as a reason to explain
02:04 why they are stuck at where they are in life.
02:07 Number three, they hold onto the past.
02:10 Do they hold grudges on other people
02:12 and refuse to forgive or forget their wrongdoings?
02:16 People playing the victim tend to hold onto past events,
02:19 no matter how big or small the experience was.
02:22 They're unable to let anything go
02:24 and may use it as an obstacle to stay where they are.
02:28 For instance, they may talk excessively about an ex-partner
02:32 long after the relationship has ended,
02:34 or ruminate about a past failure
02:36 to the point that it interferes with them moving forward.
02:39 Number four, they make excuses.
02:43 Are they able to make an excuse for any situation,
02:47 no matter what advice you give?
02:48 They may deflect it by making some excuse.
02:51 Maybe they think they aren't smart enough
02:53 to pursue a certain hobby,
02:54 or that learning a new skill takes too much time,
02:57 energy, and money to learn.
02:59 So they avoid it completely.
03:01 This habit combined with a tendency to hold onto the past
03:04 and placing blame elsewhere
03:06 can prevent them from moving forward in their life.
03:09 Number five, they're unhappy about their situation.
03:13 Are they extremely dissatisfied with the way things are,
03:16 yet do nothing to change it?
03:19 People with a victim mentality often have an idea
03:21 of the life they want to be living,
03:23 but find themselves unable to work towards the goal.
03:26 Sometimes they may even use this dissatisfaction
03:29 of their current life to make you take pity on them,
03:32 so you'll help them.
03:33 Apart from hurting their own wellbeing,
03:35 this can be especially damaging to their relationships.
03:38 Number six, they don't trust you.
03:41 Have they become needy and clingy to those around them?
03:44 They may do so to get you to support them and their needs,
03:47 so that they don't need to actually work
03:49 to improve their situation.
03:51 No advice may ever seem to suffice
03:53 and everything tends to stay at a standstill.
03:56 As a result, you may end up feeling stuck along with them
03:58 since you don't see them getting better.
04:01 Number seven, they're draining to be around.
04:05 Do you feel like you're always supporting this other person,
04:08 but nothing ever gets better or changes?
04:11 It can be tiresome
04:12 when someone is in a constant state of negativity
04:14 and is hungry for compassion.
04:16 It's possible to feel
04:18 that you're getting absorbed into their world.
04:20 They may become so dependent on you and others
04:23 to the point that excessive neediness
04:24 takes a toll on your energy level.
04:27 Number eight, they're passive.
04:30 Do they not take action
04:31 even when it's absolutely necessary?
04:34 They may let people take advantage of them
04:36 in a work setting, such as by refusing to speak up,
04:39 as they don't know how to stand up for themselves.
04:42 They may internalize these events and lash out at others.
04:45 These encounters may cause them to feel weak and powerless.
04:49 Number nine, they're insecure and unstable.
04:53 Do they have low self-confidence or self-esteem?
04:57 This may come from constantly comparing themselves
04:59 to others and believing that there is no way
05:01 to change themselves.
05:03 They may even sabotage themselves and their relationships
05:06 as assurance that nothing will improve.
05:09 It may be a sign when they always seem to be
05:11 in some sort of distress
05:13 and when the relationships never seem to last long.
05:16 And number 10, they attract drama.
05:19 Do they attract drama wherever they go?
05:21 Is it usually one-sided?
05:23 No matter what, it seems like there's always someone
05:26 out there mistreating them.
05:27 They may quarrel with others
05:29 over seemingly small things all the time
05:31 and say that the other person was completely in the wrong.
05:34 This refusal to accept any responsibility
05:36 of any wrongdoing, even in the face of evidence,
05:39 may be a sign that they're purposefully
05:41 trying to play the victim.
05:42 Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?
05:46 I have to admit, I do.
05:48 Tell us about it in the comments below.
05:50 If you found this video helpful,
05:51 please like and share it with others
05:53 who may find it helpful too.
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05:59 All the references used are added
06:00 in the description box below.
06:02 Thanks for watching and we'll see you in the next video.
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