00:00 "Hey, Psych2Goers.
00:01 Is it the highs of the honeymoon period wearing off
00:04 or maybe you're about to begin a new relationship?
00:07 You're bound to wonder, and you are sure to ponder."
00:11 Wow, did that just rhyme?
00:13 "Anyways, where, oh, yes.
00:15 Is your partner the one?
00:17 And no, you're not alone.
00:19 It's only natural for one to have second thoughts
00:21 when you think about the long run.
00:23 You were in love, and that can make it hard for you
00:25 to see why you two don't work as a we anymore.
00:29 It can even occur way down the road
00:31 when you're beginning to settle in for the ride that is life.
00:35 It can be emotionally jarring to even contemplate a breakup,
00:38 as you may still love the person.
00:41 But when the realization
00:42 that you don't have a future together sets in,
00:45 it's all the more important to make the right decision.
00:48 Here are seven signs they are not the one.
00:51 Number one, they want you to change.
00:54 Have they made a list of things
00:55 they would like to change about you?
00:58 If any such list exists, even in imagination,
01:01 chances are they're not the one for you.
01:03 It's said love changes one for the better,
01:05 but if that change has to be enforced
01:08 rather than a gradual naturalness,
01:10 it sure does leave something to be desired.
01:13 Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated.
01:15 The right partner should bring out the best in you,
01:18 not change the very you of you.
01:20 If they're not comfortable with the funny, awkward,
01:24 clumsy, real you, it calls for some serious review.
01:28 Number two, you can't count on them.
01:31 Are you a go-getter?
01:32 In this day and age,
01:33 self-reliance comes with the territory,
01:36 but at the end of the day,
01:37 it feels good to know your partner's got your back.
01:39 As adults, you each have your own path to tread.
01:42 Still, you look for a partner you can rely on
01:45 in times when your path is not so smooth.
01:47 It's difficult to find motivation sometimes,
01:50 and it makes all the difference to know
01:52 that the one beside you is cheering you on.
01:54 So it does beg the question,
01:56 will they be there for you when you need them the most?
01:59 Number three, you have different values.
02:02 Do they revere the same things as you?
02:05 Now, it is surely difficult for two individuals
02:07 to have completely the same taste,
02:10 but when it comes to the big questions,
02:12 it's essential to be facing the same direction at least.
02:15 It's difficult to stay on the same road
02:17 if the destination isn't the same, right?
02:20 Relationship experts recommend discussing major topics
02:23 such as finances, intimacy, and others
02:26 thoroughly and openly from the get-go,
02:29 as they may become a major deal breaker later on.
02:32 If the two of you don't see eye-to-eye
02:33 on things regarding marriage or kids, for example,
02:36 it will only break your heart
02:38 the longer you wait for them to come around to your ideals
02:40 or for you to turn to theirs.
02:42 If your priorities don't match,
02:45 chances are they won't allow you to match either.
02:48 Number four, they can hear but not listen.
02:52 Does it seem like you're the only one making compromises?
02:55 Do you have a hard time getting them
02:56 to understand your perspective?
02:59 Communication is to a relationship
03:01 what sunshine is to a flower.
03:03 It's important for the ones in a relationship
03:05 to read their partner's emotions as well.
03:08 They should show a willingness
03:09 to work on the relationship together.
03:11 Conflicts are a given for every couple,
03:14 but it's important to have all hands on deck
03:16 and work towards a solution.
03:18 If it takes all your effort
03:20 to get the two of you on the same page,
03:22 it's possible they're not emotionally available.
03:25 Brushing things under the rug is only a temporary solution.
03:28 For the long-term, your partner should not only look out
03:31 for your needs as well,
03:33 but be willing to meet you halfway
03:35 in all the efforts you put in.
03:37 Number five, your intuition.
03:40 What does your gut feeling say about them?
03:42 Are you constantly feeling like something is off?
03:45 One of the first red flags in any relationship
03:48 is when you begin to question your relationship with them.
03:51 You have this gut feeling that something's just not right.
03:55 Maybe you've already envisioned that sparkling rock,
03:58 or maybe you've already picked that flowing mesh of white,
04:02 but the thought of the right one gives you pause.
04:05 Whatever you feel for them
04:06 is overshadowed by a sense of foreboding.
04:09 Number six, they are fond of you statements.
04:13 We're always late because of you.
04:15 You don't ever care how I feel.
04:18 Is your partner always quick to criticize?
04:21 As witnessed, couples are more likely
04:23 to engage in complaining behavior than most others, right?
04:27 But is it constructive or corrosive criticism?
04:30 They leave you feeling hurt and rejected
04:32 by using even honest mistakes
04:34 to make negative judgments about you.
04:36 They always find a way to blame you
04:38 for the smallest inconvenience
04:40 without even hearing your side of the story.
04:42 Psychologist, John Gottman,
04:44 who has analyzed couples for over four decades now,
04:47 found that repeated critiques
04:49 berating another person's intentions
04:51 can soon cause relationships to derail.
04:54 On top of that, expressions of contempt,
04:56 such as sarcasm on a daily basis,
04:59 can make it difficult for the couple
05:01 to lead the life they always dreamed of.
05:03 And number seven, your close ones can tell.
05:07 Has your best friend been telling you to stop seeing them?
05:10 Do your closest family members
05:11 feel like the two of you don't match?
05:14 It's very true that it is your life
05:15 and you should get to make all the major decisions,
05:18 but often your close ones can see
05:21 what you fail to realize way before you do.
05:24 Your friends and family are the ones
05:25 who have spent the longest time with you.
05:28 They're sure to know more about you
05:30 and are always on the lookout for you.
05:32 So if they recommend you revisit your decision,
05:35 there might be something that struck them as odd.
05:38 It's wise to understand where they're coming from
05:40 before striking them out as being too nosy.
05:42 It is highly possible for you to encounter such situations
05:45 in even the most longstanding of relationship.
05:48 Does that mean you're with the wrong one?
05:50 Not at all.
05:51 Every couple is unique.
05:53 There are good days and then there are bad days.
05:56 If you can observe these scenarios occurring sparingly
05:59 in response to particular events,
06:01 they're bound to go away with time.
06:03 But if you see a pattern forming too often,
06:05 it might be time for you to have a little talk
06:07 to figure things out.
06:08 For serious relationship issues,
06:10 we fully recommend seeking out a trained professional.
06:13 Feel free to leave a comment down below
06:14 with your thoughts, experiences, or suggestions.
06:17 If you found this video helpful,
06:18 be sure to hit the like button and share it with others.
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