00:00 This video is for those who may have been raised
00:02 by narcissistic parents,
00:04 to open up and share your experiences.
00:07 Let's all come together.
00:09 From the outside looking in,
00:10 your parents might look perfectly normal.
00:12 To the casual onlooker, they appear to be kind and caring.
00:16 But behind closed doors,
00:18 you know your parents as cold, distant,
00:21 and how draining their incessant demand for perfection is.
00:24 If this sounds like your childhood,
00:26 you may have been raised by a narcissist.
00:28 Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD for short,
00:32 is a disorder in which one has an inflated sense
00:35 of self-importance.
00:36 Symptoms of NPD include an excessive need for admiration,
00:40 disregard for others' feelings,
00:42 an inability to handle any criticism,
00:44 and a sense of entitlement.
00:46 With that said, here are 10 signs
00:48 that you were raised by a narcissistic parent.
00:51 Number one, you've always struggled with low self-esteem.
00:55 Do you feel completely worthless sometimes?
00:58 Narcissistic parents can have their children believing
01:01 that your authentic self is somehow flawed,
01:03 and they can use shame to try to control you,
01:06 manipulating you into meeting their needs.
01:09 You may have been raised by a narcissist
01:10 if your parents belittled you
01:12 when you didn't conform to their ideals.
01:14 If you are feeling inadequate
01:15 or are struggling to believe in yourself
01:17 and find self-confidence,
01:18 then this could be because of how your parents treated you.
01:22 Number two, they had an intense reaction
01:24 to any form of criticism.
01:26 Did you ever happen to criticize your mom or your dad
01:28 and were met with an intense emotional reaction by them?
01:31 Would they shout and raise their voices at you?
01:34 A sharp overreaction to any kind of criticism
01:37 is a sign of narcissism.
01:39 For example, if you were in an argument,
01:42 your narcissistic mother or father
01:43 would hysterically scream at you,
01:45 "How dare you talk to your mother that way?
01:47 "Go to your room.
01:48 "We'll talk again after you stop screaming at me,"
01:51 while shouting at you.
01:53 They might've physically hurt you with a sharp smack
01:55 or some other form of physical punishment.
01:58 Number three, your parents had a favorite child.
02:01 Did you ever feel like you were the outsider
02:03 in your family?
02:04 Were you the possible black sheep of the family?
02:07 If you had one singled out sibling
02:09 that was seen as the perfect child
02:11 who could do no wrong by your parents,
02:13 chances are your parents were narcissistic.
02:15 If you were deemed the black sheep,
02:17 you were the one accused of causing most of the issues
02:20 and problems within your family,
02:21 even if you weren't ever truly at fault.
02:24 It is possible that these roles
02:25 could have also switched frequently
02:26 between you and your siblings.
02:28 Number four, you're a complete doormat.
02:32 Do you feel like you let people
02:33 constantly walk all over you?
02:35 A narcissistic parent will trample all over their family
02:38 to address their own desires
02:39 without giving much thought to what anyone else needs.
02:42 Because of this, you might be someone who overcorrects
02:44 and bends over backwards
02:45 to make sure no one could ever possibly perceive you
02:48 this way.
02:49 You may have grown up being told
02:50 that your needs don't matter.
02:52 You let people walk all over you
02:53 because you're not in touch with what you need
02:55 and you don't know how to express it.
02:57 Because either way, you were pushed to the side
03:00 by your narcissistic parent.
03:02 Number five, you're dealing with chronic shame.
03:05 Narcissistic parents will often project shame
03:07 onto their children and use shame
03:08 as an emotionally abusive parenting strategy.
03:11 You might not be able to recognize
03:12 this feeling of chronic shame until you're in adulthood.
03:16 The shame you experienced was ingrained into you
03:18 through your emotionally abusive parents.
03:21 You may continue to shame yourself unconsciously
03:23 when you fail to live up to the impossible standards
03:25 previously set by your parents.
03:27 Number six, you struggle to set proper boundaries
03:30 with people or think that boundaries are flexible.
03:33 When you were raised by a narcissist,
03:35 you might struggle to establish good boundaries
03:37 with other people and in your personal life.
03:39 Do you think this has been a problem for you?
03:41 Enmeshment is a psychological term
03:44 that describes a blurring of boundaries
03:46 between you and your family members.
03:47 Enmeshment can contribute to the dysfunction in your family
03:50 and may lead to a lack of autonomy and independence
03:53 that is problematic.
03:55 As a child, you weren't allowed
03:56 to develop your own boundaries
03:58 or have a healthy sense of yourself
03:59 as a separate individual.
04:01 You may not have had any private space
04:03 to call your own while growing up.
04:05 Your narcissistic mother or father
04:06 would go through your room and private belongings
04:08 without telling you and find something to use against you
04:12 to try to get you in trouble.
04:14 Number seven, you engage in self-destructive behavior.
04:18 Do you drink excessively or have a habit of overeating?
04:22 Do you have certain addictions
04:23 that you just can't seem to shake?
04:26 When you were raised by a narcissist,
04:28 you may have reached for things to help you cope
04:29 with the emotional trauma that your parents put you through.
04:32 This can involve drinking, smoking, gambling, overeating,
04:36 or having a drug or sex addiction.
04:38 These habits are all problematic and self-destructive
04:41 when performed in excess.
04:43 As an adult, you may have sabotaged your career
04:45 or romantic and familial relationships.
04:48 You may be struggling with a deep-rooted belief or feeling
04:51 that you don't deserve success or happiness.
04:53 Number eight, your parents tried to control you
04:57 through an unhealthy level of codependency.
05:00 Did your parents ever say something like,
05:02 "Don't leave me," or "What would I do without you?"
05:05 Narcissistic parents may have made it almost impossible
05:08 for you to live a life of autonomy.
05:10 They routinely threw up barriers
05:12 when you tried to establish independent priorities
05:14 or relationships that didn't involve them.
05:17 If you attempted to do anything that wasn't helping
05:19 to cater to the needs of your parents,
05:21 they would throw out toxic codependent phrases like,
05:24 "I need you," or "I can't live without you."
05:27 If this sounds familiar to you and your familial situation,
05:30 you might've been raised by a narcissist.
05:33 Number nine, you were gaslit by your parents.
05:36 Have your parents ever made you question your own sanity?
05:39 Did they tell you that you said or did things
05:41 that you can't remember doing or saying?
05:44 In order to exercise more control over you,
05:46 they may have employed a psychological manipulation tactic
05:49 known as gaslighting.
05:50 They would deliberately make you feel crazy
05:53 or cause you to doubt your sanity
05:54 in order to gain the upper hand over you.
05:57 You may now be struggling with a constant sense
05:59 of self-doubt in your present life
06:01 because of this type of manipulation
06:02 from a narcissistic parent.
06:04 And number 10, you're experiencing depression and anxiety.
06:08 Are you having different issues with anxiety and depression
06:12 or difficulties in your personal and romantic relationships?
06:15 This may be a result of narcissistic parenting styles.
06:19 Due to a lack of agency and feelings of helplessness,
06:22 you might get depressed,
06:24 feeling like there's nothing you can do to improve your life.
06:27 When things go wrong in life, you may be left paralyzed,
06:30 thinking that you're unable to make an impact.
06:33 Narcissistic parents don't model good ways
06:36 of managing negative emotions like anxiety.
06:39 They spend little time helping their children
06:41 learn to self-soothe.
06:43 You may also be expressing anxiety
06:44 due to your reach for perfectionism
06:47 with overwhelming fear centered around criticism.
06:50 Performance anxiety can dominate your social interactions,
06:52 putting a stint in your relationships with people.
06:55 As a child raised by narcissists,
06:58 which of these signs do you most relate to?
07:00 Would you consider sharing your experiences below
07:03 so other people could relate to you and also open up?
07:06 This will create a chain effect
07:07 where we can all start our healing process together
07:10 by helping one another and being vulnerable.
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