00:02The story of Manuel W.
00:09Manuel W. remained silent for decades.
00:12He knew his story sounded too outrageous.
00:15Manuel was sexually abused as a child by a woman, his own mother.
00:22What is still the hardest thing for me to explain and bear,
00:34The fact that I still loved my mother during that time is my mother.
00:40It seems that as a child, one cannot live differently than one's parents.
00:47But of course, it also intensified the feeling of hopelessness.
00:52Manuel is eight years old when his mother approaches him.
00:55Tenderness can quickly turn into sexual violence.
00:58She hits him on his bare buttocks with a ruler until she herself comes to orgasm.
01:04I never understood it. I still don't understand it today.
01:08How can anyone take pleasure in their child looking at them like a beaten dog?
01:18But that was what gave pleasure and joy to this so-called mother of mine.
01:25These torments last for about three years.
01:28Only when Manuel is eleven does the sadistic sexual abuse suddenly stop.
01:34Manuel's mother denies all allegations.
01:38Manuel's case is exemplary.
01:41Dr. Kläuber has produced the only German study that deals with sexual abuse of boys in a differentiated manner.
01:48A shockingly high number of the perpetrators are women.
01:52Based on my clinical experience and the overall view of the international studies that I am aware of,
01:59I assume that 20 to 35 percent of perpetrators are female.
02:04These figures do not refer to transgressions such as the excessively intensive application of creams and massage of the penises of small children.
02:12Boys.
02:13This is about classic sexual abuse.
02:17Are female perpetrators less violent?
02:20We also have very sadistic forms of sexual violence perpetrated by women here.
02:25For example, stubbing out a cigarette on the boy's penis, pushing small stones between the foreskin,
02:32so that the boy suffers very painful injuries afterwards.
02:36This means we don't have to believe that women are less tormenting and hurtful in their abuse than men.
02:45The level of violence is the same.
02:48He too was abused as a young boy.
02:52We call him Uwe K.
02:54As is so often the case, the perpetrator comes from within the family.
02:58Uwe didn't visit his mother, it was his great-aunt.
03:04She was much taller than me and in some ways I felt dependent on her.
03:11because I didn't receive that love and affection from my mother.
03:16And I was somehow afraid and resisted the idea of being all alone.
03:22that I will then receive no security or tenderness at all.
03:27Uwe needs his therapist.
03:29This helps him to process the experiences he had between the ages of four and eight.
03:35Uwe's great-aunt touched his penis at every opportunity.
03:39Once she even forced him to perform oral sex on her.
03:42Uwe K. is severely traumatized.
03:46Suicide attempts.
03:47His mother is the only person in the family who believes him.
03:51She herself was sexually abused as an eleven-year-old girl.
03:56From the same perpetrator.
03:57The great-aunt.
03:59Based on my practical experience, I assume that
04:02that a maximum of three, four or five percent of boys are exploited by women,
04:09to be recognized as victims.
04:10Professional helpers, teachers, social workers, psychologists
04:14often lack more in-depth knowledge about the topic of abuse against boys and women
04:19as perpetrators, as they borrow on the street.
04:22This means that the victims are usually left alone,
04:27because their actions are also downplayed by the professionals,
04:32the signs are not perceived
04:34and they receive no support in their recovery.
04:37Self-help groups provide support for victims like Manuel W.
04:40In contrast, he encountered incomprehension or outright rejection from female therapists.
04:45Exactly nine out of ten women to whom I told my story,
04:54have reacted defensively to varying degrees.
04:58From "I'd rather not hear about it" to "it's something we know from raped women."
05:09They report the police interrogation as a second rape.
05:13And that's how it's always been for me.
05:16Manuel W. only found help at Tauwetter e.V. in Berlin.
05:20Over a thousand male victims of abuse have received counseling here in twelve years.
05:24In over a quarter of cases, the perpetrator was a woman.
05:27Thaw weather, as the oldest point of contact of this kind, still stands very much alone.
05:32To my knowledge, there are in the entire federal territory, in the whole federal territory,
05:36six counselling centers where men work to advise men,
05:41who were sexually abused as young people.
05:43That's not enough.
05:44Most victims of sexual violence, most male victims,
05:48have no adequate support services.
05:50They are being abandoned.
05:51So much is said about child protection, yet to this day...
05:57The state is partly to blame for the fact that these victims are not receiving help.
06:02Manuel W. still suffers from severe depression and panic attacks.
06:07Even decades later, he cannot live without therapeutic help.
06:11I certainly feel grief over my ruined life, but I cannot cry.
06:18And when I think about the story, I'm almost too stunned to cry.
06:29These are things that are otherwise found in military dictatorships,
06:35But at least they don't claim to love their victims.
06:38Now Manuel W. wants to write about the trauma he suffered.
06:42He hopes that one day he will be able to fall asleep at night,
06:47without constantly having to think about his mental anguish.
07:03See you next time.
07:30See you next time.
07:51See you next time.
08:20See you next time.
Kommentare