- 5 weeks ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00ah poor little fellas when I think of their childhood all those cute little maggots
00:15our story is about a man with nobler ambitions he likes to kill human pests and he does it in
00:29front of an audience now that's entertainment so hang on to your hats kiddies this one's a real shocker
00:59so
01:01so
01:11so
01:23so
01:25so
01:35this here is charlie ledbetter sitting in his cell out the state penitentiary
01:59it's long about midnight charlie's gonna die in a few minutes
02:05one thing mr ledbetter ain't thinking about is joe sailor his old boss you see one day charlie had
02:13a half pint of vodka for lunch he got to thinking about how they turn him down when he wanted that
02:18raise now he felt real bad about that old charlie did he'd been working there for about seven years
02:24and he didn't have too much show for it so he went down got his cold blue 44 out of the glove box of
02:30his chevy took it up to mr sailor's office two slugs went into sailor three went wild last one went
02:38right through a glass wall into a secretary that's passing by got it right behind the ear killed a big
02:45big as hell
02:46kind of a lucky shot really about the only kind of luck charlie ledbetter ever had
02:52i guess right about now charlie ledbetter's starting to think pretty serious about that valley of death
03:06he's thinking about that rubber diaper they give him to wear
03:09wondering if he's gonna crap all over himself when i juice him in a couple minutes
03:13he will
03:18first thing you've got to understand is when it's their time all these big tough guys go yellow
03:35crying and hollering and screaming blubbering the governor's gonna call and all that
03:39well i've been here 12 years and the governor ain't called yes people say the damnedest things about
03:46electrocutions they say your eyeballs pipe out they say black blood comes out your mouth
03:51they say you get all foamy like a rabid dog all that's bullshit it ain't true at all
03:56nice thing about electricity is it's clean of course i have seen a few heads smoke after it's all over
04:02smoking head ain't very party
04:09i'll knock it off charlie
04:16i'll knock it off charlie for being some damn chicken shit you killed somebody now you're gonna do the hot squat
04:31it all evens out don't it baby why are you doing this you know people tell me most executioners never look the prisoners in the eye
04:50the prisoners in the eye afraid they're gonna get spooked or something not me i always look
04:57okay mr ledbetter now you're all ready for your regulation two jokes the state requires
05:09i think we should proceed now there's been a word from the governor yes
05:19well sir
05:20let us pray as i enter here with a sense of my own worthiness of jesus may the blessings of god and unmixed joy
05:34no it's not right
05:39let no evil spirit
05:41no
05:42no
05:43no
05:44it ain't right
05:47unworthy though i be may my entry be blessed by you who are holy
06:01you who are merciful
06:03you who abide for the father
06:05they say electric current so fast the brain gets cooked just as soon as the switch is stowed
06:10prisoner never feels a thing
06:12boy i'd hate to think that was true
06:16i'm a country boy but i like the city you know it's big it's dirty lets you know what it really is but at night there's all those lights
06:44it's real pretty isn't it
06:47my name's niles calvert i've been the executioner in this state for the last twelve years
06:55when i got here from oklahoma i caught on as an electrician and after a while i got a job out to the prison taking care of the generators
07:03i like electricity
07:06it's dependable you can trust it
07:10unless they do it with gas or with some lethal injection
07:15i don't take to that
07:18that's how you kill a dog or a cat or something not a man
07:21it's gotta be the old electric chair for me
07:25special agents called coyote busters the effort which often includes agents from your drug enforcement administration the fbi and other federal agencies
07:36cheese sandwich honey cup of coffee black
07:38elsewhere today the legislature is prepared to vote whether or not to rescind the death penalty in this state
07:44only a few hours after the execution of charles ledbetter
07:47opponents of the bill claim the death penalty has proven an effective deterrent against violent crime
07:52and its abolition will only push the crime rate higher and produce more overcrowding in our prisons
07:57many also claim that execution is still murder in the eyes of god
08:01i'm terribly sorry niles
08:04hey listen it wasn't your fault
08:07nothing you could do
08:08i gotta admit the damn thing caught me by surprise
08:11well if you'd like i can write you a letter of recommendation
08:16yeah well i was kind of hoping i'd get my old job back
08:20i mean you still need somebody to look after the generators down at the powerhouse
08:24we already have someone for that niles
08:27hey you remember you trained them
08:29hey now listen i've been working here a lot of years
08:33i mean to an electric shop another 12 throwing a switch for the state
08:38don't seniority count for something
08:41it's not that niles
08:44it's just that uh
08:48well we thought it wouldn't be good to have you around the prisoners
08:53i mean they all knew what you did
08:56i mean they all knew you were the men who
08:59could get pretty ugly
09:01listen it's nothing i can't handle
09:03if somebody gets out of line i'd take care of myself
09:06i can't let it come to that niles
09:08i'm sure if you think about it you'll understand
09:11yeah i understand
09:13i guess this ain't the kind of work they give you a gold watch for is it
09:20one thing a man needs is a friend
09:28someone to talk to when you're feeling down and out
09:31i suppose that's why they invented bars you know
09:35you nurse a drink you think things over
09:38have a little chat
09:40all of a sudden things ain't quite as bad as they seem
09:44most ballroom conversations is either about baseball football boxing or pussy
09:49but with me it's different
09:51maybe you usually want to talk to me about my job
09:53i guess i ought to say my ex-job
09:56this one's on me mr talbot
09:59this goddamn criminal
10:01i can't believe those chicken shit politicians really did it
10:05after all those years of service and they canned you like you were some fucking guinea off the boat you know
10:11i hate to see talent go to waste
10:18it's a fucking shame
10:20thank you vic
10:22you're real buddy
10:23well they're doing lots of shows on tv about the whole thing
10:26yeah
10:27tv people don't know nothing
10:30they won't do something good
10:32but they really ought to do
10:34is i ought to put a lot of little tvs in all the cells of all the prisons
10:38you know closed circuit
10:40so that all the guys who's locked up
10:42can watch their buddy when he gets cooked
10:44now that might be a real education
10:46hell i'd watch it
10:47well there's this editorial on tv
10:50and the commentators saying how
10:52if they televised executions
10:54the whole country would just stop the death penalty
10:56they'd all be too sick from it
10:58they wouldn't let it happen again
10:59fucking guys on tv
11:00what do they know
11:01yeah let me tell you something
11:02they put executions on tv
11:04be the fucking highest rated show of all time
11:07be nielson's through the roof
11:09other networks would start killing people just to compete
11:13pretty soon
11:14it's all a big food chain
11:20we eat shit and shit eats us
11:22they can be for my job because they're afraid of me
11:35they're afraid of death
11:37they don't see it's all around them
11:39it's a disease
11:41you eat it
11:44you drink it
11:45you breathe it
11:46you fuck it
11:47we're all pregnant with it
11:49growing inside all of us
11:51like them
11:52over there
11:53you see those two junkies
11:54pitiful bastards
11:55pitiful bastards
11:56ain't they
12:00i tell you something
12:02in a way i respect them
12:04they're honest
12:06they spend all the money they can get
12:08just to shoot a little death into their arms
12:10just what's real
12:12just get a little taste of the grave
12:14see they know death is coming
12:16they tease it
12:17they tease it
12:18they tease it
12:21i like that
12:23cause at the same time junkies are shit
12:27too big criminals
12:29upon examination of sworn testimony
12:35it would appear that the state has a strong case for the prosecution of James Flood for the crime of murder
12:42however having reviewed the district attorney's case i find that the warrant for arrest has been improperly worded
12:50i'm afraid i must rule that there are no grounds on which to prosecute James Flood
12:56Mr. Flood you are free to leave
12:59yeah
13:00objection to her
13:02your honor
13:03your honor i object
13:04this is a travesty of justice
13:06because of a simple clerical error you're letting this man go free
13:09order in the court
13:11this case is dismayed
13:12your honor i would like to petition immediately to the appellate court for a review
13:15order in this court
13:17order in the court
13:19son of a bitch you killed my brother
13:21order in this court
13:22get the fuck back will you
13:23come
13:24your brother
13:25my brother was a faig
13:28yelda
13:29yelda
13:30you
13:31you
13:32you
13:33you
13:34my
13:34you
13:36i've got nothing special against bikers
13:40hell i used to own a hog myself once upon a time
13:41bikers believe in freedom
13:53See, they figure they're throwbacks to real Americans.
13:59You know, what the country was all about before it all went to hell...
14:02...with big city lawyers and computers...
14:06...corporations, time clocks and what all.
14:09There's a lot to be said for that. Those ain't bad ideas.
14:14But this biker, Jimmy Flood...
14:19...now, he went way out of line.
14:25And he ought to pay.
14:49...
14:59...
15:01Authorities believe a short circuit may have been responsible for the freak accident...
15:17...which claimed the life of alleged murderer, Jimmy Flood. Flood, often characterized in the press as a motorcycle hoodlum...
15:23...based on his lifestyle and...
15:25Can you believe that? And some people say there's no God.
15:29Sure there's a God. No doubt about it.
15:32Problem is, he spends too much time making assholes like that biker.
15:36Hey, I know what you mean. He looks like a real creep to me.
15:39You know how on TV they get these experts, you know, the ACLU types...
15:43...and they're always saying that it's only the minorities that get the chance.
15:47Did you ever notice that?
15:49They're all pretty dark when I get done with them, Vic.
15:52Yeah, yeah.
15:55Will the defendants please rise?
16:00Will the jury foreman please read the verdict?
16:04In the charge of first-degree murder, we find the defendants, Cynthia Baldwin and Theodore Carney, not guilty.
16:13The defendants have been found innocent of all charges...
16:16...and are free to resume their private lives.
16:19This court is adjourned.
16:22I'm very happy for you.
16:25It's over.
16:26Oh, thank God.
16:29This fella, Corny, decides to unload his wife in favour of this little husky that he had on the side.
16:42But his old lady had all the loot in her name, so he figured that divorce wasn't quite good enough.
16:47I know where his head is at.
16:50We all do.
16:52Right down there, between his legs.
16:55Well, I gotta see this for old Corny.
17:00If you don't do it, make sure she's worth doing it for.
17:04And this girl of his is awful pretty.
17:06Of course, everybody knows beauty's only skin deep.
17:10Looks just don't last.
17:20Here.
17:21Look, I have 200 bucks in my wallet.
17:35Sit my pants in the other room.
17:36I have some money in my purse.
17:38Please, take it.
17:39Just don't hurt us.
17:40Keep it.
17:41I ain't here for your money.
17:44I don't get it.
17:45What do you want?
17:46I find you both guilty of the murder of your former wife, Mr. Corny.
17:49Were you a friend of hers?
17:50Who are you?
17:51And I sentence you to death.
17:53That sentence to be carried out immediately.
17:55Wait a minute.
17:56Wait a minute.
17:57It was his idea.
17:58I didn't know he'd really go through it.
17:59Shut up, Cynthia.
18:00You gotta believe me.
18:01Shut up, Cynthia.
18:02No, no.
18:03Wait, wait, wait.
18:04What?
18:05Ah!
18:06Ah!
18:07Ah!
18:08Ah!
18:09Ah!
18:10Ah!
18:11Ah!
18:12Ah!
18:13Ah!
18:14Ah!
18:15Ah!
18:16Ah!
18:17I never had no problem with women.
18:22If I wanted one, I just went out and got her.
18:27Easy peasy Japanese.
18:29Woo!
18:30Ah!
18:31Ah!
18:32Give me a beer, honey.
18:34They just want you to love them, is all.
18:36That's all they ever want.
18:38They just want you to love them, that's all.
18:41That's all they ever want.
18:43They get that from their mamas,
18:44from all the trashy magazines they read.
18:47It's easy to be successful with dames.
18:50Just don't fall in love and you're okay.
18:53You give them what they want,
18:55you fall in love,
18:57they'll kill you.
19:00They can't stain you no more.
19:04They either dump you and move on,
19:06or if they let you hang around,
19:07they cut your balls off.
19:10Weird, ain't it?
19:12Now, as far as strategies for getting into their panties,
19:15that's easy, too.
19:17The old rule,
19:19treat whores like queens and queens like whores,
19:23you got no problem.
19:24Down their backs faster than you can say,
19:26son of Sam.
19:30Oh, look at those honeys.
19:31And up there,
19:38you got the queen bitch herself.
19:43Yes, sir,
19:44I got just what the dark doll is for you.
19:47You might have fooled that jury,
19:49but you didn't fool me none.
19:52I wonder how you gonna dance
19:54when I put 10,000 votes
19:55through your ass.
19:56Oh, man!
20:21Oh, man!
20:21In a couple of minutes,
20:31we're gonna have ourselves
20:32one dead little go-go dancer.
20:36Well, honey,
20:37it's your time.
20:42Goddamn hell is going on here.
20:44Mr. Talbot,
20:51you are under arrest.
20:53You have the right to remain silent.
20:55Anything you say
20:55can and will be used against you
20:57in a court of law.
21:01Do you have the attorney's license
21:03to make instructions?
21:04Do you have the attorney's license?
21:05Do you have the attorney's license?
21:05Do you have the attorney's license?
21:08They don't know you got off.
21:10Right.
21:11Hi, Rick.
21:14I got some good news for you,
21:37Mr. Talbot.
21:38Since you're such a staunch supporter
21:40of capital punishment,
21:41you'll be glad to know
21:42the state legislature
21:43has just reinstated
21:44the death penalty.
21:45And guess who's not
21:46pulling the switch this time?
21:48Yeah!
21:48Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
21:52Hey, Paul.
21:53Just a government call, yeah?
21:55Listen, you're just as late
21:56as saying just a couple of minutes.
21:58That's all I'm asking for.
21:59Just a few damn minutes.
22:02Come on, now.
22:02I'm not like Bill Owens.
22:04You know me.
22:06You won't know me!
22:07I ain't so watch here,
22:09for Christ's sakes!
22:09Come on, I'm telling you,
22:12the government's gonna call!
22:14You know what I did with him?
22:16You know what that old rat's
22:17and all the fucking crumbs
22:18that I took care of?
22:20All the shit that they wanted me
22:21to get rid of?
22:22You heard of Paul, Rick?
22:24You gotta let me go,
22:25you son of a bitch!
22:27That phone is gonna ring!
22:29I'm telling you,
22:31he's gonna call.
22:32He's gonna call.
22:34He knows.
22:34And when he does,
22:36if you juice me
22:37before he fucking calls,
22:38you're all gonna get canned!
22:40You hear me?
22:41You shitheads!
22:44I didn't do nothing
22:45that you didn't want.
22:47I didn't do nothing
22:48you didn't go along with.
22:50All's I did was something
22:51you wanted you chicken shit
22:53to do yourself!
22:55You miserable chicken shit bastards!
22:59Chicken shit fuckers!
23:02You can't do this to me!
23:04Let me out of here!
23:31Niles, I'm terribly sorry.
23:32It's come to this.
23:34It's my job.
23:44That's why I did it,
23:45because it's my job.
23:48If a man ain't good at his job,
23:51then what the hell
23:52is he good for?
23:54What's anything good for?
23:55I'm the one that I'm going to call him?
24:01Grace and I turn it up!
24:03Divina prosperita,
24:06serena,
24:07like
24:07tija,
24:08carita,
24:09sanita,
24:11semper interiorly,
24:13and I'm...
24:13Magnifico domine, super nos nomens.
24:37I didn't want no haircut.
24:39They said that was a mistake because my head might catch on fire from the electricity
24:44when they juice me.
24:45I told them, don't worry.
24:47The governor's going to call.
25:00God, what a revolting development.
25:04And what a switch for poor Talbot.
25:09It just goes to show you what happens when you get too caught up in your work.
25:23Don't worry, though.
25:25I'm sure he never knew what hit him.
25:28So remember, boys and girls, safety first.
25:36Uh-huh.
25:44Uh-huh.
25:54Uh-huh.
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