00:00Around 1 every hour, 19 every day and more than 5,000 a year, that's how often men take
00:23their own lives here in the UK.
00:25It's the leading killer of men and mental health is more talked about than ever before,
00:30with specific movements like Movember, Man Up and Andy's Man Club cropping up across
00:35the country to help men's mental health.
00:38But where is it the worst?
00:39Looking at all age groups, those aged between 50 and 54 are most likely to commit suicide.
00:45So how can these numbers be fixed?
00:46Well, here in Kent, one group has taken a different approach to tackling men's mental
00:51health.
00:52And when I say tackling, I mean tackling.
00:59So my first memory of playing football, I would have been...
01:06So my first memory of playing football, I would have been first year senior, sorry, first
01:13year junior, which would be what, year three now?
01:20And we had a school competition and we played what had been the fourth year.
01:27We had a 12 goal head start and we lost 13-12 and I remember crying my eyes out at the end
01:32of it.
01:33Mark Birkin is 52 and sport has always been a part of his life, not just football but rugby
01:40and cricket as well.
01:42After school he played for a Saturday team, whether it was as a right back or a left winger,
01:49he just enjoyed the sport.
01:51And then he went on to start a career in the legal industry.
01:54Yeah.
01:55Yeah, I mean it can be very stressful.
01:56I mean you're under, if you're doing litigation, you're under tight court deadlines.
01:59So, yeah, it can be stressful if you've got a lot of things coming up at once.
02:01With that stress, his mental health took a nosedive. I asked him what the days had been like around
02:22that time.
02:23Just ended up feeling like I didn't care about anything anymore. Self-loathing, hatred of
02:33yourself. Took an overdose back in June. Just needed something to take the edge off it.
02:46Mark's partner found Project Talking Football that played on Minster FC's training pitch.
02:51I love football. I'm a West Ham fan, had a season ticket for 10 years. Used to love playing
02:58football. My wife found it for me. And I was like, I'll give it a go. And you know what?
03:03I loved it. It was so nice to be back on a pitch again. It was fun. Do you know what I mean?
03:10It was getting that buzz back and playing a good ball to someone or doing a good challenge.
03:18And it was just like, why haven't I done this for so long? Do you know what I mean? And
03:21it's only been a short time in going, but it's something I now look forward to every week.
03:27The project was started back in 2022 after a Head in the Game project in the area ran out of funding
03:33and was created by some of the participants alongside Minster FC.
03:36I guess I'm the chairman of the football club, so when we first saw Head in the Game what
03:42they were doing, it was something that as a club we felt we wanted to get involved with,
03:47which is part of our ethos at the football club to try and get involved, keep the teams running,
03:52give football opportunities to youngsters, but also try and do things for the community.
03:56So it was, I mean, within the club it was a given, you know, let's do this, let's back this
04:02and see where we can go with it.
04:04The project is entirely free. It can have anywhere from a full 11 either side to more than 30 people
04:09turning up for a session. The players are a range of ages and abilities, but there's no flying challenges,
04:15diving or showboating to speak of, except for maybe the occasional celebration.
04:21But the members know it's not about the scoreline and instead it's more about support.
04:26Now you might be wondering, could playing football for an hour every week actually fix your mental health problems?
04:32And the answer is no, because it's not about fixing your mental health problems.
04:36Think of it less like scoring a goal and think of it more as passing.
04:41It's something you have to do.
04:43And for these men who come here to Project Talking Football, it's vital to their daily lives.
04:48Yeah, I think, I think I needed something just to get my mind off things, life stresses and everything.
04:56And yeah, I think, I think I just, I needed something like this.
05:01And since I've been coming, it's one of the best things I've done.
05:04So I had a big career change last year and I moved from quite a, quite a sociable work environment to working from home full time.
05:12And having an outlet like Project Talking Football where I can work on both my physical health, but also socialise and improve my mental wellbeing.
05:21I broke up with my ex-partner and I had three kids with her.
05:26And it was that thing of going to see my kids every day and then seeing them once every two weeks.
05:30And then I realised I need to do something about it and change it all up.
05:33So yeah, I looked online for sort of a men's football team and I found this.
05:37So yeah, it's a perfect thing for me really.
05:39I probably would have crumbled if I didn't have this.
05:42I said to someone quite special to me who made this, Kyle.
05:49I said to him a long time ago, a long time ago that if it wasn't for him, me and probably a lot of guys here wouldn't have, might not be here today.
05:59I've been new to this area internet, so I didn't have much people to socialise with and I saw the opportunity.
06:07So I take advantage of the opportunity and I've been coming here ever since and it's something that I don't regret.
06:13Just things in life, they get a bit much.
06:16And then it's just a way of letting go of a little bit of it at least.
06:21And there's normally someone here that's going through similar or has been and there's people that can help you if you need it.
06:27The group runs every Monday and starts with some free kicks.
06:30Then they'll move around the centre circle and speak about a mental health related topic.
06:34This can change between sessions. Sometimes they'll rank how they're feeling on a scale of one to ten with the aim to push that number up higher by the end.
06:41Other times that talk at the beginning of the session can range from someone sharing a personal experience of how they've been doing or giving more practical advice.
06:49Now behind me you might be able to hear the cheers of a goal being scored or the jeez of someone missing an open net.
06:55But the sounds aren't really the point. It's about what's not said.
06:59Because for a lot of these men, this is vital to their mental wellbeing.
07:04They look forward to this every single week. But it doesn't just end at the full time whistle.
07:09There's a group on WhatsApp they can use to talk whether they're not feeling very well or they want to check up on someone.
07:15And it can act as a support group on its own.
07:18I think the guys may have mentioned we have a WhatsApp chat that goes through the week and we're always contributing in that.
07:25Whether it's a bit of banter about football, usual sort of Man United-Liverpool situation going on.
07:31But also if somebody wants to reach out then there's the opportunity there to do that.
07:37While I was interviewing one of the members, he brought up a name I recognised from doing a piece on the group several years ago.
07:43Kyle, who sadly passed away from cancer.
07:48I wasn't aware that Kyle, who was one of the founding members of Project Talking Football, had passed away from cancer.
07:56And while I was talking to members of the group about their group chat, they referenced something that he used to say.
08:01I think it was BBC with Dahir doing something similar to you and featuring us.
08:06But one of the things that he said was that we've also got people in their 50s and 60s coming down.
08:11Which was, I turned that into, hold on a minute, you're talking about me there Kyle.
08:16That little clip comes into our chat, which is quite a nice way for us to keep, well keep seeing him really, keep seeing that little clip.
08:24It's quite a nice way to remember him. We always laughed about it and we'll continue to laugh about it.
08:29Kyle was one of the founding members of Project Talking Football back in 2022 and his passing happened on a Monday.
08:36Which is the day of the week that the group train on.
08:38It was quiet and then it's almost like as you got home and then during the week the WhatsApp group came alive in terms of people just sharing their memories of him and the passion that he had about doing all of this.
08:51Many of the players at Project Talking Football wanted to share their ways of coping and what they would do if they were talking to someone in their position before they joined the group.
08:59But I'll just tell them you're not alone. There's always someone here for you.
09:04As you can see we've got all different age groups of people. Some guys are as old as my dad, some are as young as my little brothers.
09:13Definitely come down, give it a go, see how you feel. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to. But it helps to be around people.
09:21I want to see myself as getting back to a position where I can enjoy life as much as I used to.
09:31When I spoke to him in his kitchen, Mark had only been attending Project Talking Football for two weeks.
09:36And he spoke of his personal goals with his mental health.
09:39The football thing is great because it gives you exercise as well.
09:42Sometimes when you're struggling with your mental health, you know, you struggle to do the most basic things.
09:47You know, so actually, things like getting out for a walk or, you know, when I've been in a really dark place, you know, I've barely managed to get out of bed.
09:55Let alone, you know, get up and run around for an hour.
09:59By the time the next week rolled around, he had injured himself and was forced to go in goal, then was sidelined for the next week.
10:04Despite that and the poor weather, he decided to come to the session anyways.
10:08How's your week been?
10:10It's been okay. Yeah, so-so. I couldn't tell you what I did all week. I can't remember, but yeah, it was okay. Thank you. Yeah, good.
10:19The weather's not great, so it's not quite as much fun as I hope it would be, but yeah, no, it's part of my Monday routine now, so it's, yeah, I look forward to it.
10:27Earlier, one of the members said that it was strange to say that people keep coming back to the group,
10:31but the point of Talking Football is to help people rather than attempt to quote-unquote fix them.
10:36And for people like Mark, it's that kind of support that really helps.
10:39From him saying he simply wasn't happy to that he was doing okay, it might not sound like much, but to him, it means a world of difference.
10:47A lot of men tend to bottle up their emotions. They work full days, and when they come home, they're around their family.
10:53And for a lot of men, even with their family, they can find it hard to open up and be vulnerable.
10:58But as modern views change, this is becoming less and less of the norm, which is a good thing.
11:03More men are feeling they're able to speak about their emotions, and we can recognise that it is a problem.
11:08But it's not always as easy as simply doing it.
11:11According to the British Medical Association, mental disorders like anxiety or depression among those above the age of 16 have risen over the years.
11:19And with that in mind, small community-focused schemes like Project Talking Football could mean the difference between bottling up their mental health problems
11:26or breaking through them for many men across the country.
11:33What is the problem?
11:35What the reason are we looking for?
11:36What the reason are we looking for?
11:38What the reason are we looking for?
11:43At what level of life is we looking for with the family?
11:48What the reason is we look for behind the entrails?
11:53You
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