- 4 months ago
A look into Project Talking Football, a men's mental health group at Minster F.C. that uses the beautiful game as a way to help their players cope with stress and their mental health.
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00:14Around 1 every hour, 19 every day and more than 5,000 a year, that's how often men take
00:21their own lives here in the UK.
00:23It's the leading killer of men, and mental health is more talked about than ever before,
00:28with specific movements like Movember, Man Up and Andy's Man Club cropping up across the
00:33country to help men's mental health.
00:35But where is it the worst?
00:37Looking at all age groups, those aged between 50 and 54 are most likely to commit suicide.
00:43So how can these numbers be fixed?
00:45Well here in Kent, one group has taken a different approach to tackling men's mental health.
00:50When I say tackling, I mean tackling.
00:52It's so too small.
00:54Go on then, if you want me to show it.
00:59Two!
01:01Eight!
01:04Wooo!
01:06Got a turn.
01:08Mark, follow the ball.
01:09Leave him up there.
01:10Oh, this is...
01:12Pass the ball then.
01:13Mark, turn.
01:22So my first memory of playing football, I would have been first year senior, sorry,
01:29first year junior, which would be what, year three now?
01:33And we had a school competition, and we played what had been the fourth year.
01:39We had a 12 goal head start, and we lost 13-12, and I remember crying my eyes out at
01:44the end
01:44of it.
01:46Mark Birkin is 52, and sport has always been a part of his life.
01:50Not just football, but rugby and cricket as well.
01:53After school he played for a Saturday team, whether it was as a right back or a left winger,
01:57he just enjoyed the sport.
01:59And then he went on to start a career in the legal industry.
02:02Yeah.
02:03Yeah, I mean, it can be very stressful.
02:05I mean, you're under...
02:05If you're doing litigation, you're under tight court deadlines.
02:10So, yeah, it can be stressful if you've got a lot of things coming up at once.
02:16With that stress, his mental health took a nosedive.
02:19I asked him what the days had been like around that time.
02:22Just ended up feeling like I didn't care about anything anymore.
02:28Sort of self-loathing, hatred of yourself, sort of took an overdose back in June.
02:40Just needed something to take the edge off it, you know what I mean?
02:44Mark's partner found Project Talking Football that played on Minster FC's training pitch.
02:49I love football.
02:50You know, I'm a West Ham fan, you know, I've had a season ticket for 10 years.
02:54I used to love playing football.
02:56My wife found it for me and I was like, I'll give it a go.
03:01And you know what?
03:01I loved it.
03:02It was so nice to be back on a pitch again.
03:06It was fun, you know what I mean?
03:08It was getting that buzz back and, you know, playing a good ball to someone or doing a good challenge.
03:16And it was just like, why have I done this for so long?
03:19Do you know what I mean?
03:19And it's only been a short time I've been going, but it's something I now look forward to every week.
03:24The project was started back in 2022 after a Head in the Game project in the area ran out of
03:30funding and was created by some of the participants alongside Minster FC.
03:34I guess I'm the chairman of the football club, so when we first saw Head in the Game what they
03:40were doing, it was something that as a club we felt we wanted to get involved with.
03:45Which is part of our ethos at the football club to try and get involved, keep the teams running, give
03:50football opportunities to youngsters, but also try and do things for the community.
03:54So it was, I mean, within the club it was a given, you know, let's do this, let's back this
04:00and see where we can go with it.
04:02The project is entirely free. It can have anywhere from a full 11 either side to more than 30 people
04:07turning up for a session.
04:09The players are a range of ages and abilities, but there's no flying challenges, diving or showboating to speak of,
04:16except for maybe the occasional celebration.
04:19But the members know it's not about the scoreline and instead it's more about support.
04:24Now you might be wondering, could playing football for an hour every week actually fix your mental health problems?
04:30And the answer is no, because it's not about fixing your mental health problems.
04:34Think of it less like scoring a goal and think of it more as passing.
04:39It's something you have to do. And for these men who come here to Project Talking Football, it's vital to
04:45their daily lives.
04:46Yeah, I think, I think I needed something just to get my mind off things. Life stresses and everything. And
04:56yeah, I think I just, I needed something like this. And since I've been coming, it's one of the best
05:02things I've done.
05:03So I had a big career change last year and I moved from quite a, quite a sociable work environment
05:08to working from home full time. And having an outlet like Project Talking Football where I can work on both
05:15my physical health, but also socialise and improve my mental wellbeing.
05:19I broke up with my ex-partner and I had three kids of her. And it was that thing of
05:25going to see my kids every day and then seeing them once every two weeks and then I realised I
05:29need to do something about it and change it all up.
05:31So yeah, I looked online for sort of a men's football team and I found this. So yeah, it's a
05:36perfect thing for me really.
05:38I probably would have crumbled if I didn't have this. I said to someone quite special to me who made
05:45this, Kyle, I said to him a long time ago that if it wasn't for him, me and probably a
05:54lot of guys here might not be here today.
05:57I've been new to this area, internet, so I didn't have much people to socialise with and I saw the
06:04opportunity. So I take advantage of the opportunity and I've been coming here ever since and it's something that I
06:10don't regret.
06:12Just things are nice, they get a bit much. And then it's just a way of letting go of a
06:17little bit of it at least. And there's normally someone here that's going through similar or has been and there's
06:23people that can help you if you need it.
06:25The group runs every Monday and starts with some free kicks. Then they'll move around the centre circle and speak
06:30about a mental health related topic.
06:32This can change between sessions. Sometimes they'll rank how they're feeling on a scale of one to ten with the
06:37aim to push that number up higher by the end.
06:40Other times that talk at the beginning of the session can range from someone sharing a personal experience of how
06:44they've been doing or giving more practical advice.
06:48Now, behind me, you might be able to hear the cheers of a goal being scored or the jeez of
06:52someone missing an open net.
06:54But the sounds aren't really the point. It's about what's not said, because for a lot of these men, this
07:00is vital to their mental wellbeing.
07:02They look forward to this every single week. But it doesn't just end at the full time whistle. There's a
07:08group on WhatsApp they can use to talk, whether they're not feeling very well or they want to check up
07:13on someone. And it can act as a support group on its own.
07:17I think the guys may have mentioned we have a WhatsApp chat that goes through the week and we're always
07:23contributing in that, whether it's a bit of banter about football, usual sort of Man United-Liverpool situation going on.
07:31But also, if somebody wants to reach out, then there's the opportunity there to do that.
07:36While I was interviewing one of the members, he brought up a name I recognised from doing a piece on
07:40the group several years ago.
07:42Kyle, who sadly passed away from cancer. Yeah, he got cancer back this time last year and then passed away
07:52six months ago.
07:55I wasn't aware that Kyle, who I'd interviewed in the past, had passed away from cancer earlier in the year.
08:01And while I was talking to members of the group about their group chat, they referenced something that he used
08:05to say.
08:06I think it was BBC with Dahir doing something similar to you and featuring us.
08:11But one of the things that he said was that we've also got people in their 50s and 60s coming
08:16down, which was, I turned that into, hold on a minute, you're talking about me there, Kyle.
08:21That little clip comes into our chat, which is quite a nice way for us to keep, well, keep seeing
08:27him really, keep seeing that little clip.
08:29It's quite a nice way to remember him. We always laughed about it and we'll continue to laugh about it.
08:34Kyle was one of the founding members of Project Talking Football back in 2022 and his passing happened on a
08:40Monday, which is the day of the week that the group train on.
08:43It was quiet and then it's almost like as you got home and then during the week, the WhatsApp group
08:49came alive in terms of people just sharing their memories of him and the passion that he had about doing
08:55all of this.
08:56Many of the players at Project Talking Football wanted to share their ways of coping and what they would do
09:01if they were talking to someone in their position before they joined the group.
09:04But I'll just tell them, you're not alone. There's always someone here for you.
09:09As you can see, we've got all different age groups of people. Some guys are as old as my dad,
09:15some are as young as my little brothers.
09:18Definitely come down, give it a go, see how you feel. You don't have to say anything if you don't
09:23want to, but it helps to be around people.
09:27I want to see myself as getting back to a position where I can enjoy life as much as I
09:35used to.
09:36When I spoke to him in his kitchen, Mark had only been attending Project Talking Football for two weeks and
09:41he spoke of his personal goals with his mental health.
09:44I'd say the football thing is great because it gives you exercise as well. Sometimes when you're struggling with your
09:48mental health, you know, you struggle to do the most basic things.
09:52You know, so actually, things like getting out for a walk or, you know, when I've been in a really
09:56dark place, you know, I've barely managed to get out of bed, let alone, you know, get up and run
10:02around for an hour.
10:03By the time the next week rolled around, he had injured himself and was forced to go in goal, then
10:07was sidelined for the next week.
10:09Despite that and the poor weather, he decided to come to the session anyways.
10:13How's your week been?
10:15It's been okay, yeah, so-so. I couldn't tell you what I did all week. I can't remember, but yeah,
10:22it was okay, thank you, yeah, good.
10:24The weather's not great, so it's not quite as much fun as open it would be, but yeah, no, it's
10:29part of my Monday routine now, so yeah, I look forward to it.
10:31Earlier, one of the members said that it was strange to say that people keep coming back to the group,
10:35but the point of Talking Football is to help people rather than attempt to quote-unquote fix them.
10:40And for people like Mark, it's that kind of support that really helps. From him saying he simply wasn't happy,
10:46so that he was doing okay, it might not sound like much, but to him it means a world of
10:51difference.
10:52A lot of men tend to bottle up their emotions, they work full days, and when they come home, they're
10:57around their family.
10:58And for a lot of men, even with their family, they can find it hard to open up and be
11:02vulnerable.
11:03But as modern views change, this is becoming less and less of the norm, which is a good thing.
11:08More men are feeling they're able to speak about their emotions, and we can recognise that it is a problem,
11:13but it's not always as easy as simply doing it.
11:16According to the British Medical Association, mental disorders like anxiety or depression among those above the age of 16 have
11:23risen over the years.
11:24And with that in mind, small community-focused schemes like Project Talking Football could mean the difference between bottling up
11:30their mental health problems or breaking through them for many men across the country.
11:34Back then, dude, it might be happy.
11:37Back then, dude.
11:39Back then, dude.
11:58To be honest, man!
12:00Closy Lewis with James Lee with James...
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