00:00Previously on Fast and Furious.
00:01I said it before on the last Fast and Furious, and I'll say it again.
00:03It's amazing how many highway crimes have absolutely zero other traffic on the roads.
00:07It's a perfect day for a prison break.
00:08And if I saw three souped-up cars blasting down the road while I was transporting prisoners,
00:12I'd probably ready my shotgun, maybe even stop the bus, and put the odds ever in my favor.
00:16Even though Brian's hitting the brakes, this bus impact should still have blown that car off the road.
00:19Instead, the bus flips, the car sticks, and Brian lives.
00:22Clearly, Brian's plan for springing Dom includes killing Dom.
00:24Never mind any of the non-main character prisoners that died in this horrific crash.
00:27Oh, well, here's what on board has been accounted for, except for one where Dominic Toretto accounted for.
00:33Did anyone die?
00:34Is this the most remarkable bus crash ever?
00:36This news broadcast montage never once mentions fatalities, which is what the news lives for.
00:40Where Toretto and O'Connor are now is anyone's guess.
00:43With the terrible copying we saw in the last film, couldn't they be in L.A. having beers at the
00:46Toretto home without law enforcement knowing about it?
00:48Rio porn.
00:49Yep, this shit is back.
00:50How's it feel?
00:51Feels great.
00:51Wait a minute, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:53Be on the other side of a wanted poster.
00:55Well, you can't really be on any other side of a wanted poster, can you?
00:58You can pick any side, and you'll still be on a wanted poster.
01:00There's no good side.
01:01This Mia putting the baby to bed scene couldn't possibly be foreshadowed her own pregnancy, could it?
01:05Yeah, you're sorry.
01:06Oh, man, I cannot believe it.
01:08It looks like you both could use the payday.
01:11Sure, they're poor.
01:11So, naturally, the only possible action to take is Grand Theft Auto.
01:14I guess it's a good thing these DEA agents and anyone else on this train who are Americans are super
01:18unobservant.
01:19But with Brian and Mia's faces plastered everywhere after the prison break, this stupid heist would never work.
01:23The chances of anyone seeing your crew alongside the train are much too high.
01:26There are many passengers facing the backside of the train, looking out windows, and would easily see you.
01:29These guys fall on their faces to avoid being killed by the dangerous sheet of death they ripped off the
01:33train.
01:33But in the next shot, they're standing tall, looking like conquering heroes, as if half the crew didn't almost die
01:37from their own stupidity.
01:38Oro Vando GST40.
01:39Wouldn't the plan be prearranged?
01:41Because he says this and isn't careful enough to think Dom speaks Portuguese, Dom gets suspicious, and the whole plan
01:45blows up in their faces for no reason.
01:46And the method of car theft virtually guarantees massive damage to all three vehicles, even though the movie doesn't think
01:50so.
01:50This car obviously has something in it that these guys want.
01:53But why didn't they call some sort of criminal dibs on it before this robbery even started?
01:56They could have said, look, you can have any car on that train, but the GT40 is off limits.
01:59Change your clearance.
02:01Wait for my call.
02:02They got to Rio yesterday, and had no idea until you stepped on this train car you were even coming.
02:06What prearranged meeting point could you possibly have under this scenario?
02:09I didn't mean to at least pretend to be going the right way until the dickheads on the train were
02:12out of sight.
02:12God!
02:13Dom throws this guy to the floor, rather than outside, making this fight to the death harder for himself.
02:16This movie wants to have everything both ways.
02:18Windows don't matter until they do.
02:19F*** you, movie.
02:20It's like I have a fatigue.
02:21Yeah, catch up to the GT40, which has a huge head start in this clunky-ass vehicle.
02:25Thing comes out of nowhere to imperil the stuff.
02:27Access car!
02:28Get the access car!
02:28Cops here to protect the train don't have an access car to the train doors.
02:31This guy picks up a crowbar, but he hits Dom in the back instead of lodging it into his head
02:34or neck and causing major damage.
02:36Maybe this weird vehicle has a blowtorch on it.
02:38Maybe.
02:38But for this guy getting kicked and driving the vehicle to be able to reach back and turn on the
02:42blowtorch to use as a weapon?
02:43Yeah, I know.
02:43Why haven't you thrown him off the train yet?
02:45Brian survives this.
02:46Also, wow, that is a lot of dead people for our heroes to steal a few cars, am I right?
02:50This train is this f***ing close to the bridge when Brian tells Dom about it, but somehow this will take
02:54more than one minute of movie time to actually get there.
02:56Car stunts that aren't possible are one thing.
02:57Humans living through s*** like this over and over?
02:59That's sinful.
03:00How are there any bad guys waiting for them anywhere near this water?
03:03Even if the dude back on the train radioed it in, how are there readily available assholes on standby under
03:07the train bridge?
03:08Alright, I'm gonna leave you in an easily escapable situation with my worst henchman on guard.
03:12I'll see you later in the movie.
03:13Walmart cuffs.
03:14Random guy with gun decides that guns don't have long-range capabilities and points it as close as possible to
03:18Dom's head.
03:18It's easy to look badass when these bad guys are idiots.
03:20Where's Vince?
03:21We'll see you later.
