- 16 hours ago
Category
🎈
FunTranscript
00:07I had a bad start to my Monday.
00:10Devastating putting on my underwear injury.
00:13Oh, what happened?
00:15I was putting them on and I hit my knee into the door handle so hard I thought I'd shattered
00:21my kneecap.
00:21Oh, wow.
00:23Holy mother of God.
00:25Starting to bruise up.
00:26Oh, that's not good.
00:28Why are you using so much force to put on underwear, dude?
00:31He is forceful, dude.
00:32He does everything with force.
00:33Everything is force.
00:34Have you seen him?
00:35He breaks doors.
00:36Put on your underwear like the Kool-Aid man.
00:37Yeah, he does.
00:38Has he ever come into that room?
00:41No.
00:41Kick the door open?
00:42Kicks it.
00:43Well, I'll kick it right open.
00:44I don't kick it.
00:45You ever see him replace the paper in the printer?
00:47I'm surprised it doesn't fly across the room.
00:50Generally, it's a panic situation.
00:52I'm under stress.
00:53I get it.
00:54Yeah, nothing quite as stressful as replacing the paper in the printer.
00:59No, like I've got two seconds and I need this to print.
01:02Look out!
01:03Get out of my way!
01:04I got paper to put in a printer!
01:08And I only kick the door open if I have my hands full.
01:11Which is all the time.
01:13And he'll kick it.
01:14He doesn't care who's on the other side.
01:16I do.
01:16I'll tell you that.
01:17I wouldn't intentionally kick it into anyone.
01:20It just happens sometimes.
01:21Get some ice on that thing.
01:22No, I'll be alright.
01:23Okay.
01:24Oh God, ow.
01:25Yeah, I think my whole foot's broken, so I don't know.
01:27I still have to go in, get it checked out.
01:29Well, you have it, you idiot!
01:30You idiot!
01:31With your whole foot now?
01:33I thought so.
01:33Oh, yeah, it's still a mess.
01:34It's been a week!
01:34In the last week, we said, go get it checked out!
01:36No, it's a mess.
01:39You guys are literally falling apart.
01:41I don't want to do this anymore.
01:42Oh, yes, we know.
01:44I know.
01:45Yeah, by the way.
01:47It creeps into my...
01:47I'm talking about life!
01:48It creeps into my dream.
01:49Oh, life.
01:50Oh, I meant to show.
01:51Oh, geez.
01:51No, I mean, the show's part of life.
01:53True.
01:54Life is life.
01:55Life is life.
01:56Da-da-da-da-da.
01:58Anyway, yeah, hopefully I didn't shatter anything in my kneecap.
02:00I need those.
02:01Take a step back from the door when you're putting your underwear on.
02:04I normally do.
02:05I don't know what happened today.
02:07I was in a rush.
02:08I was doing things on the go.
02:09Okay.
02:11Normally not around a door handle.
02:14I got to put mine on like it's classic operation.
02:18The video game.
02:19Or the game board.
02:20Whatever the stupid thing was.
02:21You're like just like super carefully.
02:23Oh, because if anything hits my toe, it's like just up.
02:27And get it!
02:28I'm dead, Chuck!
02:29Is it swollen, your toe?
02:31Uh, slightly.
02:33It's the joint right around the.
02:35But it's not red.
02:36It's not.
02:36And it's not gout before we get 72 text messages.
02:39It's not gout.
02:39They're still going to say it's gout.
02:40I know they are.
02:41Tell them it's gout!
02:42Putting pain cream on that thing?
02:43No, I'm not doing anything.
02:44Okay, well that's hard.
02:45I'm just sucking it up.
02:46Yeah.
02:46No, you know what?
02:47There's a couple bones that are on the bottom of the ball of your toe right by the joint.
02:53And it's like basically what can get injured by turf toe or whatever.
02:58I think I gave myself turf toe.
03:00How'd you get turf toe?
03:01Are you turfing?
03:02Turfing.
03:02A lot of turf.
03:03Surf and turf.
03:04You know?
03:05I thought you don't walk.
03:07Yeah, I do.
03:08I do.
03:08I walk a ton.
03:09Oh, no.
03:10You're still so lying.
03:11Ryan has a suggestion.
03:13I walk a ton.
03:13Oh, Ryan, yes.
03:14Oh, yeah.
03:14You want me to bring in some breast milk to rub on it?
03:17Yes.
03:18Apparently that's a cure-all.
03:19It is?
03:20Oh, yeah.
03:20You got rid of my cuts?
03:22I had a little irritation on my skin.
03:24Rubbed some of that on there.
03:26Woke up the next day, it was gone.
03:27Yep.
03:28Would you like Ryan's wife's breast milk on your face?
03:31Oh, I thought it was Ryan's.
03:32No.
03:33Oh, I only want Ryan's.
03:34Oh, okay.
03:35Yeah, mine stopped coming in.
03:36It was only the first two days.
03:37I know.
03:38I had to sit in.
03:40It's tough to keep it going.
03:42Oh, man.
03:43Yeah, because you did actually use breast milk to heal yourself.
03:47I did, yeah.
03:47Where did you put it?
03:48I cut myself shaving on my neck, and so she put it on, and within a day or two, it
03:53was
03:53completely gone.
03:54Wouldn't it have been completely gone without, do you think, the breast milk?
03:57No.
03:57No.
03:58No.
03:58You're a big believer in it.
03:59I thought it was crazy, but then I saw the miracles of it.
04:03To the point where anytime there was an abrasion or something, she'd be like, do you need some?
04:10Get the boob ready.
04:11And I'm like, I'm good.
04:13Were you cutting yourself on purpose?
04:15No.
04:16Of course not.
04:17Oh, my gosh.
04:17I'm cut again.
04:18Oh, yeah.
04:19Give me that breast milk.
04:21I'm rubbing dirt on my face to get pimples.
04:24Vandages.
04:25Spray a leg of fire hose at me.
04:27Works on pimples, too.
04:28Works on pimples.
04:29Oh, yeah.
04:29Oh, yeah.
04:30That's the best.
04:30If you could bottle it up and sell it.
04:32Stop.
04:32It's amazing.
04:34It's a natural neosporin.
04:35Chuck, give it a whirl.
04:36No, I mean, it's gross.
04:37I mean, I've dealt with it in my own time.
04:41Those days are over.
04:42They're different than Jason and Ryan.
04:45Yeah.
04:46Yeah, he's different.
04:47He looks at everything differently.
04:48It's blue in a bag.
04:50I didn't have it in my life.
04:51So I don't know.
04:52But if it worked, there's lots of natural remedies out there.
04:56We had peanut week when I have breast milk week.
04:59Try it on different stuff.
05:01Yeah, Dave tries it all.
05:02I put it on my knee.
05:03Put it on your knee.
05:03Look at that.
05:04Oh.
05:05I, okay.
05:07There is part of me that thinks two cuts at the same time.
05:13One is breast milk.
05:14One is not.
05:15See what happens.
05:16And see what happens.
05:17Are you using like a neosporin on the other one?
05:21I would do what I normally do, which is just be a man and leave it.
05:28There's nothing unmanly about putting breast milk on you.
05:31Put a little bandaid on it.
05:33What?
05:34Put a little wee bandaid on it.
05:35How do you cover it up?
05:36Can I ask you?
05:37I'll put a bandaid if I'm bleeding.
05:38Yes.
05:39Oh, I don't.
05:39I will use a bandaid.
05:40Yes, you should.
05:40Because I don't want to get blood everywhere.
05:41Because why would you get blood and you want to stop the bleeding, correct?
05:44Because it stops.
05:44Like here's a cut.
05:45No bandaid.
05:46Yeah.
05:46No breast milk.
05:47Just a man about it.
05:48Okay, good.
05:49I like that.
05:50There's blood everywhere.
05:52Yeah.
05:52Nah.
05:53Whoa.
05:54You don't want to get blood everywhere.
05:55Use a bandaid.
05:57Use a bandaid.
05:58When you put the breast milk on, do you cover it with a bandaid to like soak in or you
06:02just let it sit there?
06:03I think it just soaked in.
06:04Yeah.
06:04You just set it on there.
06:05Yeah.
06:05Like rub it on.
06:06I'm soaking in it.
06:07Yeah.
06:08Okay.
06:08Bet it fixes your headphones.
06:11Yeah.
06:11Try it.
06:12Dip your headphones in.
06:14Dump a little on that.
06:16They do break every other day.
06:18Fixes everything.
06:19I mean, at that point, it's nuts because we need to bring her in here so she can squirt the
06:24air conditioning.
06:26Have her spray it down.
06:29We've solved our heating and cooling problems.
06:31Ryan's wife's breast milk.
06:33We took her upstairs.
06:34The building sold.
06:36Yeah.
06:37Have her squirt the whole building.
06:40Oh my God.
06:41Squirt the whole company headquarters if we could.
06:45We need help.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Oh, well, someone said there is natural immunoglobins in the milk that stimulate the immune system
06:54and healing.
06:54It is science.
06:55Yeah.
06:55Okay.
06:56I love science.
06:58That's what I'm saying.
06:58Squirt yourself with your lady's breast milk, guys.
07:00I also don't take my science info from random texts.
07:04Well.
07:04But if there is a medical study on it.
07:07You got two buddies here that are giving you the same science.
07:10I get it.
07:11They've been through it.
07:11They've lived it.
07:11There's a lot.
07:12I've had a couple of buddies tell me some stuff that wasn't quite true.
07:16They say it works for them.
07:18Yeah.
07:19I think you should try it on that toe.
07:21Imagine if it cured your turf toe.
07:22I can't.
07:22That's so strange.
07:23It's like bones.
07:24Putting Ryan's wife's breast milk on Chuck's toe is just a new level of weird.
07:29It's not an open wound.
07:30It's not coming straight from her.
07:32I never said it would be his toe.
07:34His toe is better the next day.
07:37Hallelujah, Lisa.
07:40Hallelujah.
07:40He has hailed the power of the titty.
07:43I don't know how she feels about that.
07:46We'd have to talk to her.
07:47I don't think she.
07:48She won't have to be a part of it.
07:50It's just to give a donation and Ryan will bring it in.
07:52Yeah.
07:53She won't know.
07:53I got access to the stash.
07:55There you go.
07:55Oh, I see.
07:56I see.
07:56Oh.
07:57That's true.
07:58She doesn't have to be here to do it directly.
08:00She might hear about it since we're on a radio show.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Yeah.
08:03I can understand.
08:04I used to be in charge of the stash, kind of keeping up on, oh, okay, we're down.
08:09You know, you got to do a little more work.
08:11We need some more.
08:12You know.
08:13Go pump it.
08:14It's a big pumping day today.
08:15You better get after it.
08:17I say, if I was in the pain that you claimed to be in for the past week or so,
08:21I'd give anything
08:22a whirl.
08:23Except go to the doctor.
08:25Except go to the doctor.
08:25Yes.
08:26But you can have someone bring the cure to you.
08:28Yeah.
08:29I think I'll probably go to the doctor first before I dip my toes in a co-worker's wife's
08:38breast milk.
08:39Well, that is smart.
08:40Yeah.
08:41That's smart.
08:41You know?
08:41Yeah.
08:42And I probably won't go to the doctor just to let everyone know.
08:46This is how science gets all messed up.
08:49People start thinking that it's going to work for everything.
08:52Mm-hmm.
08:52Yeah.
08:53They're going to be dipping their broken fingers in breast milk.
08:55You don't think it would work on a show?
08:57No.
08:58I think I have an injury that most dancers get.
09:03Really?
09:03So you've looked into it and this is what you've discovered.
09:06Yes.
09:07Chuck Swan.
09:08Yeah.
09:08I'm like the black swan.
09:10And you don't want to say how you got this injury.
09:12You don't need to know how I did it.
09:13I already know how.
09:14You don't even know.
09:15You don't need to know.
09:17I already know.
09:17Was he dancing?
09:18Uh-uh.
09:19I already know.
09:21So what they make is like almost like a little donut thing that you can like sort of like
09:25put stick to the bottom of your foot and it'll take the pressure off.
09:30Because unfortunately, you walk on your foot.
09:33So every time I take a step, it just re-injures the thing.
09:38And they're like, use a stiff bottom shoe.
09:42What am I?
09:42Got wooden shoes lying around?
09:45Oh, I have a pair for you.
09:45Oh, man.
09:47Oh, yeah.
09:47I'm like, I don't have anything that's like officially-
09:50Like a dress shoe?
09:52To me, dress shoes even have a-
09:54A little cushion in them now.
09:55A bend to them in the toes.
09:58I don't know what they expect me to wear.
10:00Like big honking boots?
10:02My Indian shoes have like pretty much wooden bottoms.
10:05I can get you that.
10:06Yeah, I might have to go wooden bottoms.
10:08I don't know.
10:09It's just an awkward thing.
10:12So it's a note of breast milk.
10:15No, it's a big note of breast milk.
10:16No, I- Breast milk makes me want to vomit.
10:23Well, yeah, I don't-
10:24I was only okay because it was my lady's breast milk.
10:27You don't know how to take another lady's.
10:29No offense to your wife.
10:31I'll be honest.
10:32Yeah, I don't know why I'm so bummed out.
10:34You guys don't want my wife's milk.
10:37Sorry, I hate to let anyone down.
10:40I'm bringing in candles and breast milk tomorrow.
10:44I'm taking it all.
10:45That'll be a freaky Tuesday.
10:47It's breast milk and candle Tuesday.
10:50Oh, man.
10:51Yeah, I even looked at my kids like,
10:52you're drinking that?
10:53You are nuts.
10:55Oh, what's wrong with you?
10:55You're nuts.
10:56It was blue.