- 3 days ago
thousands of hours in
my honest opinion is
its the worst (10/10 thoroughly recommended)
35% off - Steam:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2059170/Quasimorph/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=sseth&utm_campaign=sseth2
33% off - GOG:
https://www.gog.com/en/game/quasimorph
100% off - Malaysian Private Tracker:
https://his-magnum.com/
-----------------------
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my honest opinion is
its the worst (10/10 thoroughly recommended)
35% off - Steam:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2059170/Quasimorph/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=sseth&utm_campaign=sseth2
33% off - GOG:
https://www.gog.com/en/game/quasimorph
100% off - Malaysian Private Tracker:
https://his-magnum.com/
-----------------------
Send Sseth Shekels: https://www.paypal.me/SsethTzeentachGB
Send Sseth Shekels per video: https://www.patreon.com/Sseth
Send Sseth Shekels / crypto: https://www.subscribestar.com/ssethtzeentach
Website: https://www.ssethtzeentach.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SsethTzeentach
FB: https://www.facebook.com/sseth672/
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00Hey hey people, Saf here. Quasimorph has hit 1.0.
00:03And, like a moth to flame, I subject myself to its repeated tortures.
00:07After finishing the most bullshit series of story missions, sweating and whimpering for days, I finish the game.
00:13My reward? Ampreg.
00:15I became fag pregnant and died.
00:17The end.
00:18The last words I got given was,
00:20Don't scream. It's bad for newborns.
00:23And then Heavy Metal played, as I stared at the game over.
00:26I hate this game, and I can't put it down.
00:27So, here's my marketing pitch for 1.0, and all its glorious features.
00:32I hatch my eight-legged children, and, because GMO spiders have opposable thumbs,
00:37hand out west side machine pistols to each and every one of them.
00:41And because of my clone's Talmudic training at the IDF,
00:44they no longer have four action points, which is the highest in the game.
00:48They have seven, which they spend exclusively unloading bullets into my backside.
00:52This is a PMC operator.
00:54The only difference is he works for another PMC.
00:57There are no other differences.
00:59Every contract now has two sides, and we're not the only contractor.
01:02Take the job, and someone else is being paid to take you out instead.
01:06The new jobs are a lot of fun.
01:07Escort missions are absolutely hellish,
01:09and the only way I succeed is by shoving the VIP in a toilet,
01:13and having him wait until the coast is clear.
01:15Alternatively, I install a cortex bomb in my head.
01:18So, in the event of head trauma, I kill myself, the VIP, and everyone around us.
01:23The contract does not stipulate inviolability of a client's assets.
01:28You can even botch contracts on purpose.
01:30The Emerald Empire is under attack.
01:32My lord, I send you the finest full-body amputee.
01:35And thus, the Quasimorphic Legions were defeated.
01:38Not by resistance, but incompetence.
01:40And if you ever get tired of working for others,
01:43we can always reshuffle management of a minor corporation
01:46by liquidating the chief executive.
01:49This is, of course, specific to each faction.
01:52So, going after the Church of Revelation does mean
01:54that we have to kill Pope John Paul VI.
01:56Please understand that we can now revise the terms of our demonic contracts
02:01by smearing the correct configuration of feces in a pentagram.
02:04Allow me to explain essence in terms you would understand.
02:08Gavok is condensed human suffering.
02:10When a YouTuber molests a child, he creates Gavok.
02:14Look, I have no clue what I'm doing.
02:16Nobody else does either.
02:17Somebody wrote a guide, and my eyes just glazed over.
02:20All I know is that I've successfully swindled an Arabic gin.
02:24And now, I spend calories instead of action points.
02:26I've demolished every campaign through Ramadan.
02:29Inshallah, the fasting will continue.
02:32Alas, brother, I have no dates for Iftar.
02:34So instead, I must settle for this 3,600 kcal MRE.
02:39Just as the Prophet envisioned.
02:41Most people genome edit their operators for more accuracy,
02:44health, or different perks.
02:46I modified Percy to have a deeper stomach
02:48for accelerated fasting.
02:50Unfortunately, this means he has to be recloned.
02:53So the question does emerge.
02:55What happens to the old one?
02:59There's more than a hundred pacts,
03:01most of which are obtained by occult esotericism,
03:04which is why we have an entire department for it.
03:06They're incredibly powerful, incredibly fun,
03:09and incredibly permanent.
03:11Irrevocable, binding, persisting beyond death.
03:15Maybe I should have mentioned that at the start.
03:16But what about Banes, Seth?
03:18You can't use demonic pacts.
03:19You're gonna get Banes.
03:20Who cares?
03:21I send my demonic patron an etheric projection
03:24of a soy jack.
03:26He chortles and slaps his belly
03:28and reverses all my shit.
03:29Unless you're dealing with a Buddhist demon,
03:31there's an array of permanently increasing penalties.
03:34All the way from fake elevator optical illusion
03:37to the entirety of a wild hunt is phasing in.
03:40If it gets out of hand, there's always bureaucracy,
03:42and we can ask the demonic courts for annulment
03:45or severance of the agreement,
03:47because the terms were predatory and unenforceable.
03:50There's a legal system in hell.
03:52Also, we have a fully fitted trade module
03:54with capacity for approximately 180 watermelons,
03:58which I did not know was a berry.
04:00In exchange, I received cutting-edge tech
04:03for a plasma launcher powered by scripture
04:05and a written apology from Dilfe.
04:07You see, a watermelon is more succulent
04:09than the pain of losing your station
04:11after I ventilated half the engineers
04:13and scrapped the prostitute droids
04:15to surgically augment Bob Denner
04:17with a pair of silicone double Ds.
04:19I will concede that the Botox head graft is elective,
04:22but the synthetic BBL is purely tactical,
04:25serving as a counterweight to the fact that
04:28he no longer walks, he skitters.
04:30And he no longer talks, he just screams.
04:33But we can turn the horror of his existence
04:35into happiness by implanting TikTok reels
04:38directly into his brain.
04:40Most of your progression is tied to the ship,
04:42which is left damaged and destroyed
04:44by civil resistance during the intro.
04:46Now, there is something that, once unlocked,
04:49makes Magnum very unique in the solar system.
05:07It's called a walk-in freezer,
05:08and basically, it's peak.
05:10My chill-ass fridge got everything stocked,
05:12except fresh produce.
05:14Because, at some point, the fear leaves your body,
05:17and you'll see demons for what they truly are.
05:20Victims.
05:21We out here in the Pleroma,
05:23between time and space,
05:24between the quasimorphic Bramfaturas of Shadanakar,
05:28and we're hungry.
05:29Lord, I'm tired of testing the spirits.
05:31I'm going to try digesting them instead.
05:33We ethically source our free-range hellcrab from Ur,
05:36and fly over to Floros,
05:38to disembowel Anshidae until they drop some nori sheets,
05:41so we can fry up the most expensive shrimp.
05:43For a side dish,
05:44we turn every squid to surimi.
05:46As a treat,
05:47every baron into liquor.
05:48And anyone who isn't edible,
05:50gets chopped and grafted to my operators.
05:52Every brown fatura now has its own soundtrack.
05:55That means there's three tracks each,
05:56and they're all bangers.
06:41We make the place worse,
06:42because we get more music.
06:44As mentioned before,
06:45you can now finish the game.
06:46There's a bunch of branching storylines,
06:48with different endings.
06:49The downside,
06:50is that every story mission is fixed.
06:51After running the numbers,
06:53the very first introductory mission,
06:55for a certain group of well-meaning Knights Templar,
06:58had over 300 enemies,
06:59which does not include,
07:01the orbital artillery on your way out.
07:03This game doesn't have a difficulty curve.
07:05There's a peak,
07:06and we stay there.
07:07On the upside,
07:08every story mission is fixed,
07:10and we can take our time,
07:11bloat-maxing Percy,
07:12into the perfect life form.
07:14However,
07:14there's a billion new damage types,
07:16and you will die,
07:17and you will get very upset.
07:19I used to make fun of my friend,
07:20after he punched through his laptop,
07:23because of football manager.
07:24Now,
07:25I truly understand.
07:26For the good ending,
07:27there is no good ending.
07:28You're the man who sold the world.
07:31Magnum,
07:31already signed humanity's fate,
07:33before the game even starts.
07:34But this is a sandbox,
07:36and I can play however I want.
07:37So,
07:38we ignore the plot,
07:39get hitched with Jane,
07:40and rent a condo in 434,
07:42Hungary.
07:42From here,
07:43we fabricate toilet paper,
07:44because it requires no crafting ingredients.
07:47We're no longer a PMC,
07:49we're a wet wipes manufacturer,
07:50and we send bulk shipments across the void,
07:53for infinite profit.
07:54If every path leads to ruin,
07:56I simply choose not to walk.
07:58Is it necessary,
07:59to read Rosamira,
08:00to understand Quasimorph?
08:02At some point,
08:03this guy talks about,
08:04miniaturizing elephants,
08:05to the size of a mini piglet,
08:07so they can develop speech more quickly.
08:09So,
08:10no,
08:10it's a loose adaptation.
08:12At no point in the book,
08:13does it ever say,
08:14John Quasi,
08:16Ecolapsed the middle manager.
08:17Babe,
08:17wake up,
08:18new corp just dropped,
08:19and they're invoking the mandate of heaven.
08:21All trade,
08:22is now based on trade goods.
08:24These can be anything,
08:25from industrial parts,
08:26to luxury lunches,
08:28to dark web cartel execution videos.
08:30This is not a joke.
08:31Terror pack operators,
08:32are trained by watching snuff footage.
08:34You need them for upgrades.
08:36Others need them to satisfy complex chains of supply and demand.
08:40Until you run a proxy corporation,
08:42and break the entire system.
08:44Because we're no longer paying for anything at all.
08:46In general,
08:47nothing is as it was.
08:48Everything is better,
08:49in every conceivable aspect.
08:51Every issue I ever had,
08:53is gone.
08:53Animation speed,
08:54adjustable.
08:56Amputation,
08:56a single click.
08:58Every bounce of a grenade,
08:59or saw blade ricochet,
09:00simulated by holding shit.
09:02And no more backtracking,
09:03because we can access the cargo hold,
09:05from any elevator.
09:06Every system,
09:07interacts with every other system.
09:09Nothing is solitary,
09:10or unintentional,
09:11once you spend enough time with it.
09:13At least 400 hours,
09:14the difficulties and frustrations,
09:16melt away.
09:17Replaced instead,
09:18by the abundance of possibilities,
09:20for running the dumbest builds possible.
09:22There are no rules of engagement,
09:24or Geneva Convention.
09:25Because,
09:26Realware nuked,
09:26the Geneva Convention.
09:28Unit 731,
09:29is just one of 14 classes.
09:31All of which,
09:32are fully customizable.
09:33Warcrime,
09:34isn't an NCE designation.
09:35It's a perk,
09:36and we can freely mix and match,
09:38to suit our operational objectives.
09:40Originally,
09:40I gave some of my best builds here.
09:42But then I realized,
09:43that's not the point.
09:44Also,
09:45I got bored explaining midway,
09:46and went to Al-Qarid,
09:47to farm guards instead.
09:49You're gonna suffer,
09:50and you're gonna learn.
09:51And it's gonna be beautiful.
09:52Usually,
09:53I don't cover something twice.
09:54However,
09:55I'm personally invested.
09:56Don't worry,
09:57it's not that self-aggrandizing.
09:58I usually get merc'd,
10:00like five weeks in.
10:01Then it's this guy,
10:02until he gets merc'd as well.
10:03Outer Belt Pirates,
10:04have a tenuous existence.
10:06My only critique,
10:07is that the developers listen.
10:09Sometimes,
10:10a messenger may be dubious,
10:11other times,
10:12he may be foolish.
10:13But mostly,
10:14he is from the Steam discussion forums.
10:16He is a retarded lobotomite.
10:18He is the result,
10:19of consanguinity.
10:21Between a brother and sister,
10:22that liked each other,
10:23a little too much.
10:24And a result,
10:25of his congenital blight,
10:27is that normal difficulty,
10:28has been relabeled,
10:29as hard.
10:30Listen,
10:31I haven't tossed family members,
10:32clean across the room for nothing.
10:34Their pain,
10:34and my passions,
10:36emerge from the intended experience,
10:37of highs and lows,
10:38that this game provides.
10:40Conversely,
10:40who gives a fuck,
10:42and you can play however you want.
10:43Which is why,
10:44almost every feature,
10:44can be scaled,
10:45and customized from inside.
10:46Or modified,
10:48to expand features,
10:49and offer quality of life,
10:50to those of you who work full time.
10:52Game is 35% off.
10:54It will,
10:54cause a rift in your family unit.
10:56I have no financial stake.
10:58And if you have to steal it,
10:59remember,
11:00that I,
11:00stole before you.
11:01In closing,
11:02my name is Seth Seentech,
11:03I'm 56 years young.
11:05My concubine has escaped,
11:07and I miss him dearly.
11:08As always,
11:09more content to come,
11:10so stay tuned.
11:11A warm thanks,
11:12to the many,
11:13members of the Merchants Guild,
11:15generously funding,
11:16and bankrolling these videos.
11:17You're all,
11:18truly wonderful.
11:19Enjoy the outro.
12:03The Merchants Guild.
12:32The Merchants Guild.
12:58The Merchants Guild.
13:11The Merchants Guild.
13:13The Merchants Guild.
13:46The Merchants Guild.
13:58The Merchants Guild.
13:59The Merchants Guild.
14:04The Merchants Guild.