HOMM Olden Era Review

SsethTzeentach

there are no strats for schism its my main and i like winning through illegitimate means  on steam https://store.steampowered.com/app/3105440/Heroes_of_Might_and_Magic_Olden_Era/  ----------------------- Send Sseth Shekels: https://www.paypal.me/SsethTzeentachGB Send Sseth Shekels per video:  https://www.patreon.com/Sseth Send Sseth Shekels / crypto: https://www.subscribestar.com/ssethtzeentach  Website: https://www.ssethtzeentach.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SsethTzeentach FB: https://www.facebook.com/sseth672/

Transcript

00:00Hey hey people, Seth here. Visualize happiness. For me, it is holding my greatest enemy hostage,

00:07covering his skin in honey, and slowly roasting it until it caramelizes into a layer of glaze.

00:14I do not watch, I listen to the cacophony of screams as he's pulled apart like a succulent

00:21pecking duck. My only sadness is in the knowledge that I can't do it again. He's beyond my reach,

00:27but for his crimes, he has eternity to answer for. Alternatively, sure, I'll take a new hero's

00:33game. I have no financial relation to Hooded Horse or the perfidious child pickup artist involved in

00:40his publication, but let's just say if Ubisoft had their way, none of this would exist. Replaced

00:46instead with mobile slop shovelware, which I couldn't even access because as of today, my

00:52account has been acquired by a Chinaman. As they say, we each have our own guardian angels. I just

01:00didn't expect mine to be living in a prefecture of Guangzhou.

01:06As someone who is on several lists, my online security is very important to me. For the past

01:11few months, I've been going to coffee shops, ingratiating myself with the old and infirm,

01:16and integrating myself into their geriatric communities. Before long, someone asks me for

01:21help with their computer. I oblige, knowing they really just need some company. But this is where

01:25I strike. Instead of fixing their computer, I steal their computer and tape a screenshot of a Yahoo

01:30mail inbox to the monitor. I'm able to get about a week's worth of use out of their system before

01:35I

01:35have to ditch the evidence and repeat the cycle. Worse still, I can feel myself slipping away, as each

01:40time I'm forced to snuff out the tender flame of compassion for my heart to do so. There has to

01:44be

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02:34expressvpn.com slash seph for 4 extra months of service. Gameplay is pretty much the same. Prior to

02:40standardized testing, IQ was measured by a player's build order. Regular humans are capable of long-term

02:46decision-making, prioritizing an economy, while others build every single unit dwelling and run out of

02:52gold by week 2. This designates them as barely sapient, and are promptly shipped to the bauxite

02:58mine to fulfill their destiny. But onto the changes. Stack splitting is easier than ever. Same goes for

03:07transferring armies and artifacts between heroes. Before, I send them away on their weekly mission

03:12of harassing leprechauns for spare change. We're back to hexagons. Why did we ever leave? Because math

03:18is hard, and we're gonna gaslight you into loving squares. Like Tribes of the East, every unit comes

03:23with two side grades, which can be switched at no cost. Like Civilization, every faction comes with a

03:29tech tree. Like Tales of Androgyny, skills come with a selection of sub-skills, which are mutually

03:35exclusive and synergistic. Unlike the incredibly obtuse and convoluted Heroes 5 skill wheel, which

03:41isn't even documented inside the game, we now have sub-classes, which still require insane RNG to

03:46a row of five out of seven slots you're never going to get. Resources are mostly the same, except

03:52sulfur has been switched out for alchemical dust, which is required for upgrading dwellings. Or you can

03:58spend it all on an infinitely upgradable golden goose egg, which works off gacha mechanics, except there's

04:04no guaranteed pity pool, and it's designed to rob you. Magic now works off astrology. Mage guilds are

04:10astronomical observatories. Spells are the stars of a constellation, each of which is aligned with a

04:16different school of magic. Daylight cleanses, nightshade curses, arcane controls, and primal

04:21destroys. On top of this, you have high neutral magic, which is a five-week countdown until everyone

04:27learns Dimension Door. There's five tiers of magic and four levels for every spell. These range from

04:32tactical to completely busted, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Outside of magic, focus is a new

04:39resource that's generated by attacking and being attacked, which is spent on unit abilities. Lore,

04:45we're in the continent of Jadam. That's Might and Magic 8. But it's before heroes of Might and Magic 1,

04:50so there's no devil aliens yet, because Might and Magic 6 hasn't happened. This matters to absolutely

04:56no one. Don't even get me started on what a Varn is. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

05:01Currently, there's six factions, and I'm gonna cover them all. Temple. The Temple of the Sun is known for

05:06many things. Mainly, getting genocided by the same group of adventurers on a yearly basis. Turnover rates are

05:13high. Nobody has time to read scripture, and the entire process of catechumenism is condensed to

05:18a podcast seminar by whoever survived. The reason that white people are inferior is because they

05:23don't have enough melanin in their skin. As such, the theology has suffered, and our angels are just

05:31golems on string. Regardless, they have some of the best lineup in years. Free entire shooters, two of

05:36which can completely ignore ranged penalties. A set of armor, which duplicates and reflects every single

05:41positive effect. And a solid steel wall of swordsmen, griffons, and inquisitors that ensure

05:46their backline remains untouched. And in case you ever get bored of playing artillery death stack

05:51that kills everything before it has a chance to get close, they still have cavaliers. I played the

05:56self-insert. Effortless strike removes the focus cost of attacking with your hero. Battle frill allows

06:02you to use it again if you kill the stack. An inspiring strike gives a 5% chance of resetting

06:07the cooldown per point of morale. But I was already morale maxing, so he killed everything himself

06:13and won the match. Grove represents the druids of Murmurwood, its sylvan rampart spliced with

06:19conflux. Except every elemental can awaken to receive a heavy steroid. They're expensive, bulky,

06:25and completely grotesque. Pixies are now a neutral unit. You get the scraps left over by your haggard

06:31butch lover. An amalgamation of rotund chopplegangers that belong better in a trench than broad daylight.

06:38Physionomy aside, they take some getting used to. Understanding is half the battle. And unfortunately,

06:44I'm retarded. Grove has the best casters, the strongest magic, and the fastest unit in the game,

06:49which guarantees you the first move. Each spell has its own cooldown, so I can't spam Armageddon.

06:54Unless I retreat, return with another phoenix, and spam Armageddon. But that's not always viable,

06:59because single hero and tournament are very popular variants. So instead, I play this abomination,

07:05whose mirror copy works on the enemy to duplicate their strongest death stack under my direct control,

07:11which then proceeds to murder the original. And since I'm abusing Thaumaturgy and Murmurmancers,

07:17this will be my fourth spell on the first round of combat. And then I found out about luck,

07:22Grove's synergy with luck, and how, as a result of several subskills and laws,

07:26each of my units now crits for 300% damage, 100% of the time.

07:32Dungeon is the Alvar Triumvirate. Basically bricks, but with troglodytes. The Dark Elves are in

07:38collaboration with the Dragons of Garret Gorge and the Minotaurs of Ravage Roaming,

07:42resulting in a combined alliance of strength, resilience, and centralized banking.

07:47Each of their units come with a unique fighting style. Troglodytes can spit phlegm, infiltrators can

07:53infiltrate other men, and the rest basically land more hits based on the position of the enemy,

07:58punishing tight formations, close groupings, or just existing in the general vicinity of a dragon.

08:03The trade-off is less damage, until you develop a legal system and simply outlaw the penalty.

08:09As merchants, we play only the greatest of merchants. We take Antiquarian, unlock his money printer,

08:16and buy every artifact in the game, as their sum greatly outweighs the monetary cost.

08:22Necropolis. The necromancers of Shadowspire don't know how to raise dragons yet. So far,

08:27we confuse them together. All we need is several living dragons and the entire economy. And then,

08:33my enemy casts Guillotine, turning the most powerful Tier VIII neutral into the most expensive pile of

08:38milk bones. Accordingly, vampires are your new ultimate, because that's all we can afford.

08:43The blood waterfall isn't even real, it's just Red Forty. My wife is dead. I don't want to remarry.

08:48I just want to summon skeletons. His rewind life can overheal and over-revive to create temporary

08:55stacks for the duration of a fight. All life is endless, increases the effect of heals and revives,

09:00which synergizes with summon avatar to double this bonus. I take no losses, because at the start of

09:06every fight, I multiply my ghosts. Which, coincidentally, also have the ability to

09:11multiply. Leading to a carefully managed feedback loop of infinitely rising numbers. Or, just take

09:17Kal'gul, rush Dreadnights, and win without firing a single synapse. Schism, on the continent of Arathia,

09:23to the north of Avli, is meant to be Vori, the land of the Snow Elves. This region was never

09:29implemented

09:29or playable, so it's subject to a lot of speculation. Schism is complete fanfiction, where dark elves have

09:35discovered and dug up Vori rituals to pull creatures from other planes, or the negative

09:40space in between.

09:41Give that up. No. No, that's impossible. It's a squid.

09:50As a result, everyone is melting, going insane, or bloat maxing. In exchange, they win the numbers game,

09:57using dead tissue to bind more horrors, and using victories as momentum to artificially inflate

10:02their stacks. Hive. Following Hero's tradition of having Inferno as the worst faction, Hive makes

10:08an attempt. They get the coolest tier 1 in the game, with the best idle animation. But, they have

10:13absolutely no shooters, unless you have a mountain of resources for a tier 6 sidegrade. And, they don't

10:18care. Once they close the gap, there's not much you can do, except watch them multiply, because they can

10:23also lay eggs. Now, normally, there's counterplay to a highly vulnerable patch of temporary troops that

10:29take time to hatch. Except, the Hiver put his hornets on standby, so he'll always get the last move,

10:35lay his eggs, and spawn them without contest. At which point, his cooldown resets. But, that's not

10:40too bad, until you encounter a Maniacal Reaver, and lose half your board in a single turn. You see,

10:46normally, units take turns and wait for everyone else. Maniacal Reavers ignore this paradigm entirely,

10:52because, as long as they get that Call of Duty hit marker, they get a second, which is separate from

10:57morale. So, they get a third. As your eyes start tearing up, and your Pampers dipey sags under the

11:03weight of its liquid gold, a fucking worm shows up and eats the rest of your stack. Also, don't try

11:09to mix armies, or a single hive mother will ruin your day, as she multiplies her stats and propagates

11:14them to the entire swarm. But, everything I've described isn't the worst. No, taking a hero specialized

11:21in attribute gain and learning, leveling them to 12, and resetting their level to 1 with the faction-specific

11:26building that was recently buffed to give him 4 of each stat for every free levels spent,

11:31isn't just the worst. It's already banned and competitive. Which, doesn't mean anything,

11:36because, it's the same group of Poles, Russians, and dare I say, North Macedonians.

11:41That complain about everything. 99% will never play competitive heroes, because, they don't live

11:48in an Eastern Bloc Khrushchevka. I have. So, I'll give you a metaphor. SCP-106 is slowly chasing you.

11:55Except, it's David Goggins, and he's rock solid. He took his Rhino-99 Vyvanse and Tamriel-rebuilt

12:02dick pills. He's got that migraine rage after playing Deadlock, and after 10 hours of anticipation,

12:08he phases through the wall, and loudly proclaims,

12:12Goggie-want-fuck. That's what competitive is like. In summary, everything I said is a lie.

12:18Necro and Schism are currently busted. Hive sucks ass, and I'm not handing away strats to my enemies.

12:24The music is good, the town screens are nice, the story and writing is atrocious, and sounds like

12:29the intrusive faults of a Tumblr blog. There's no teams for players, no underground, no water tiles.

12:35But, none of that really matters. It's early access, and they seem to be doing a good job.

12:39This is the same team that brought us Darkest Dungeon without the gay sex.

12:43I believe in them. If you like heroes, you'll like Oldenera.

12:46But, why listen to me? I'm an influencer. Do you know what that means?

12:50I'm one plane flight removed from being a human port-a-potty in Dubai.

12:55Don't listen to my shit. Decide for yourself.

12:57As always, more content to come, so stay tuned.

13:00A warm thanks to the many members of the Merchants Guild, generously funding and bankrolling these videos.

13:06You're all truly wonderful. Have a good one.

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