5
- 7 weeks ago
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TVTranscript
00:04Wait.
00:05Yeah?
00:05Any sign?
00:06Er, not since he did a run after we kidnapped him on the stag, no.
00:10That's all we need.
00:11Well, listen, you go and see if you can find him, yeah?
00:14I'll stay here.
00:15Yeah.
00:15See if he turns up.
00:23Hey, Dad, what's the rush?
00:24It's the price for Kim.
00:25Drank way too much last night.
00:27Forgot it was coming early.
00:28What's coming early?
00:31Huh?
00:37Oh, thanks.
00:39What a lovely arm.
00:42You sure about this, Dad?
00:43Yeah, she's gonna love it.
00:47I don't know.
00:48I mean, having to go up there with her dress and hair and nails,
00:53the heels, the veil as well.
00:55Yeah, all right.
00:55Yeah.
00:59Cindy!
01:01You look great.
01:02I love what you've done with your hair.
01:04I mean, who's gonna come round the corner next?
01:06Steptoeing, son.
01:07She's got practically all a wall for dessert, I guess.
01:10I mean, who have I got?
01:11The dregs.
01:13Well, this will make this conversation easier.
01:16We're not coming.
01:17What?
01:18I'm just, I'm so tired and I'm so pregnant.
01:21And I thought I'd be okay, but, er...
01:23Sorry.
01:25Thanks.
01:26Nice flowers.
01:28Yeah, Cindy Junior.
01:30Another no-show.
01:34Oh, Linda!
01:35How can I help you?
01:38Right, okay, er, a migraine.
01:40Who can I help you?
01:49Do you know what you need?
01:50I've got a migraine.
01:51See?
01:52Get worse soon.
01:58Anyone else gonna stab me up?!
02:12Can't we have one day where Dad ain't being a total drama queen?
02:15What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with the groom?
02:19Cufflinks. Dad's cufflinks. He left them here for safekeeping.
02:23Mum? Makeup artist is ready now.
02:25Oh, finally. How long does it take to get some brushes together?
02:33He's gone AWOL, hasn't he?
02:35Yes.
02:36What are you doing? You're supposed to be getting dressed. Go, go, go, go.
02:38By the way, I want to look sophisticated. I don't want to look like a drag queen.
02:42Right. Let's get this fizz opened.
02:46Peter.
02:46Peter. Laura wants a word.
02:52They are up to something.
02:53No, no, no. They're just getting a bit giddy, that's all.
02:58Be careful. You're making a mess before you've even started.
03:03Mum?
03:05Oh.
03:06Cheers.
03:06Cheers.
03:08Well, Kim may have the quantity, but I've got the quality.
03:15Because I am marrying the man of my dreams.
03:22So this surprise that Howie's got from me...
03:25Ah, stop fishing. You'll love it.
03:28You'll assure me shoot got shrunk in the wash, you know.
03:31Is that salt?
03:33Patrick.
03:33Mm-hmm.
03:36Oh, that's Jasmine.
03:38Wish Kim good luck from me.
03:44Soap and the champagne, shall we?
03:45I don't mind if I do.
03:47I think I will stick to black coffee.
03:49Coffee?
03:49Yeah, I think that's a good idea, you know.
03:53Is that...
03:54Is that Dee?
03:56Oh, Dee!
03:59You look beautiful.
04:01Oh, natural mentor.
04:05But it's not the same without you here.
04:07Amy?
04:08Will you do the honours?
04:11Honours?
04:12Oh, what's this?
04:15It's, er...
04:16Something borrowed.
04:18Something borrowed.
04:19Something borrowed?
04:25Tee!
04:26I see you can spell, then.
04:29You wear that, and I'll be right where I need to be.
04:36Close to your heart.
04:47I, er, I thought it best if I stay away today, so Mum's gonna take Annie, and Annie's gonna
04:53spend the day with Johnny instead.
04:55Why did you do that, Linda?
04:57Why did you wait till the night before my wedding to tell me something I've been waiting
05:00years to hear?
05:02Timing's bad, I know.
05:05I think you'd get off on it.
05:07What?
05:08Throwing me breadcrumbs.
05:10And they send back my head.
05:12I've never done that.
05:13What is it?
05:13What, you think you're just gonna click your fingers, yeah?
05:15You're gonna click your fingers, I'm gonna come running to you.
05:17I think you should go.
05:18I ain't going anywhere.
05:21Why don't you tell me what you want?
05:27I'll just...
05:29Go and see Cindy.
05:31Tell her it's not happening.
05:32No, Max, please don't.
05:33Oh, exactly, yeah, yeah.
05:34Exactly what I thought.
05:35As soon as it comes to it, as soon as it comes right to the edge of it, you can't
05:38take
05:38the jump, can you?
05:39That's not true.
05:39I can't say I blame you.
05:41Max Brennan.
05:43Damaged goods, innit?
05:55Maybe I do want to be with you.
05:58You're a good man.
06:01Not perfect, but you have changed, Max.
06:05You think I'm a good man?
06:07Yeah, what's wrong with that?
06:08Well, I've been having an affair.
06:11What?
06:12Yeah.
06:14I would sleep on my prayer.
06:19Still think I'm a good man, do you?
06:26Tommy?
06:30He ain't come out of that room since he's been back.
06:33I think he's worried about bumping into you-know-who.
06:35Do you know what?
06:37When I think of him on my stomach, it was like that.
06:39Hey!
06:40You all right?
06:41The mum have arrived.
06:42Oh, Lily, look at you.
06:44You look gorgeous.
06:45I love weddings.
06:46It's going to be so romantic.
06:47And we're going to the right one because I think Max and Cindy's is going to be a 40-car
06:51pile-up.
06:54I've been even a bit late to get ready, innit ya?
06:55Oh, I think my invite got lost in the post.
06:57I think it's more that they all still hold a massive grudge.
07:01Yeah.
07:01All right, Jane.
07:03Just come without saying, I'm going to notice.
07:04You can't turn up without an invitation.
07:07They'll have a seating plan and everything.
07:08Jane!
07:09Hold on a second, darling.
07:09We'll go in the community centre, okay?
07:10Not Westminster app.
07:11It's all right.
07:12I'm fine here, honestly.
07:13Now, you know what?
07:14If Jasmine ain't good enough for them, then neither am I.
07:17And in fact, I'm staying here, so I think you should all boycott it.
07:22Right, listen.
07:22I'm going to go grab Bert and Ernie.
07:24If anyone's coming, we need to get a move on.
07:25Come on, let's jog on.
07:26Come on, let's go.
07:27Bert, Ernie, what's holding you up?
07:29Are you getting something out of telling me this?
07:30Is this to get back at me for what I said last night?
07:32No, not at all.
07:33This is me, Linda.
07:34This is a man that you love, yeah?
07:35That ain't pretty.
07:36Oh, I get it.
07:38I get it.
07:39You want me to pity you?
07:41Poor old Max.
07:42It's not his fault he can't keep it in his pants.
07:47I mean, what about Cindy?
07:49Do you even love her?
07:53You're pathetic.
07:53Just get out.
07:54Oh, right, so what?
07:56Now you hate me again.
07:59It's flip-flopping, isn't it, Linda?
08:01Flipping and flopping.
08:02That's you all over, innit?
08:03Just get out, all right?
08:04I'm not playing your stupid games!
08:06I'm not telling you, all right?
08:06You can't just switch it on and off like a tap.
08:08Well, how about this?
08:09I'm sorry I ever said anything!
08:16Kim has got the whole world and his wife going to her wedding.
08:20I can't even get two of my own daughters to come to mine.
08:24Even a freeloader like Priya's cancelled.
08:27I wish you could come, George.
08:29Yeah, I'm sorry.
08:30It was a late booking, but it's too big to turn down, so...
08:33But you know I'd come if I could.
08:35Yeah.
08:36Yeah.
08:36It means a lot to have your blessing.
08:38Mum, the car's here and, erm...
08:40Well, I'm really sorry, but Phil's called Harry back for some emergency job
08:43and he couldn't say no, so...
08:46Doesn't matter.
08:47What's another one?
08:48I've just got to go and check how Annie's doing, OK?
08:51Right, should we get this dress on, then?
08:52Yeah?
08:53Yeah.
08:54Right, Mum, let's calm down, yeah?
08:58What is going on?
08:59I am not stupid!
09:01Just tell me!
09:04What do you call a fish without an eye?
09:07I don't know.
09:07A fish!
09:08Come on, come on, come on!
09:10Stay into your jackets on, all right?
09:11Leave the camera upstairs.
09:12I'm not going to have these pair of herbats running right at the wedding, all right?
09:15And Mo's going to catch us up.
09:17Right.
09:17She's on a booty called Fat Elvis.
09:23Hey, erm...
09:23I'm going to leave you to...
09:25We'll head off, we'll meet you there, yeah?
09:27Come on, girl.
09:27Yeah, I'm all right.
09:28Where you been?
09:30Just chilling.
09:31Listen, just come.
09:33Joel won't be there, right?
09:34There's no need to worry.
09:35I'm not worrying.
09:36I just don't want to go, yeah?
09:38Weddings are boring.
09:39Oh!
09:40Come here.
09:41I love you.
09:42I love you too.
09:47Come on, kids, let's go!
09:55Oi!
09:56You're back then.
09:58How you been?
09:59Anywhere nice?
10:02My aunt, er, need help with her dogs.
10:06Right.
10:07So you wasn't avoiding me then?
10:10Listen, the things that I did were terrible, but I've changed.
10:15Oh, just save it, Joel.
10:16Sorry, what do you want me to do, eh?
10:18Do you even know what's happened since I've been back?
10:20Everyone crosses the road when they see me.
10:21Yeah, and you've got what you deserve.
10:23So you didn't do anything then to them girls at school or your mum or family?
10:27Just shut up, Joel.
10:28You ain't gonna get back in my head.
10:29That's what you keep telling yourself, is it?
10:30Joel's twisted my mind.
10:31I was vulnerable.
10:32Yeah, cos I was.
10:34But we did what we did together.
10:37And when they came for us, you chucked me under the bus.
10:42But yeah, no, that's fine.
10:44Alright?
10:45Oh.
10:58What are you doing there?
11:02I just came to get my things.
11:04Right, I quit.
11:05What, again?
11:06Shut the door on the way out, will you?
11:08Saved your life last night, remember?
11:10Oh, great.
11:10What do you want in the middle?
11:12Might have one somewhere.
11:13I just want a clean break.
11:15Okay?
11:15Me, Ravi and the kids.
11:17Me and you's the past.
11:18And me and Ravi's the future.
11:20You better hope Linda don't blab then.
11:23What?
11:24What the hell did you tell her for?
11:28I just sort of slipped out.
11:29Slipped out?
11:30Mmm.
11:31You selfish idiot!
11:33Don't you ever think about anyone but yourself?
11:35You could write everything for me.
11:37Yeah?
11:37We should've talked about that prayer before you jumped into bed with me.
11:43Slipped in bed!
11:47Oh, my God.
11:50What was he looking for?
11:52Beautiful!
11:53Woo!
11:55Thank you!
11:56Thank you!
11:57Thank you, family!
12:02Your trusty steed awaits, my queen.
12:06Please tell me you like it.
12:13Are you joking?
12:18I love it!
12:27Kim, are you going to give us your Lady Godiva, then?
12:30I can't do your favour.
12:31This is my cowboy Carter moment.
12:34Yes!
12:35Yes!
12:36Yes!
12:36Yes!
12:36Yes!
12:36Yes!
12:37Yes!
12:37Yes!
12:39Hi!
12:43Hi!
12:44That's fine.
12:45Come here.
12:47I can't believe the registrar is late.
12:50You'd think they'd factor in the traffic, wouldn't you?
12:52This is why we didn't want you worrying, OK?
12:54We'll sort it.
12:55I promise you.
12:55Promise.
12:56OK?
13:04Hi!
13:05Oh, I'm happy.
13:06My Howie's got me the horse.
13:09Hi!
13:12Oh, you're the best.
13:15Oh, whoa, Nancy!
13:17Whoa!
13:18Oh, Cindy!
13:19you know it's true what they say the ear is so much thinner when you're up here
13:25and do you know what else they say no you can't buy class and you know what
13:31else they say you can't buy friends yeah but please excuse me as my entourage
13:39I'm getting a little bit restless
13:41giddy up
13:55I tell you what if Max is late too I'm gonna kill him with my own bear hat
14:01oh careful careful careful no mate no careful you stink I know it stinks that's
14:07the horse I thought to get you this job and this whole time you two have been at it behind
14:23my back
14:23isn't it I like that just get out please Lauren I just need to know you ain't gonna tell anyone
14:27get out now before I tell absolutely everyone about your dirty little secret go you know that
14:36Cindy is over there and she's the happiest that I've ever seen her dad give it all that Lauren you
14:40can't stand the woman this is gonna blow up our whole family and Peter's gonna kill you oh what's
14:47your name it's no white you ain't squeaky clean Lauren you selling dodgy motors you're fiddling
14:52the books I mean who knows what else you've been up to just a hypocrite you are what are you
15:00gonna
15:00do now I don't know okay well I'm done I don't want to be anywhere near this car crash I
15:09want
15:09nothing to do with it have a nice wedding dad
15:46it's a shame that Jasmine ain't here I know Patrick is is just not up to it yet old wounds
15:54look at
15:55his face Jasmine has been through a lot you all need to make peace
16:13can you see us Denise can you hear us yeah yeah there we go
17:00oh
17:04I'm so in love with you
17:19I'm sorry I'm sorry
17:22don't stop me please
17:27what's going on
17:39oh you know I love you yeah I know you do I know you don't have to convince me of
17:45anything
17:55trust me yeah you know I do
18:02all right sorry everyone heads up change of plan uh but stay tuned because we will see you down a
18:09bit
18:09later to raise a glass yeah
18:18saddle up
18:20saddle up
18:25jOSTAGE
18:27i'm you're mean TESlyn
18:35stuff
18:36hallmark
18:39I'm going to know what to do
18:48yeah
18:49josh patrick a word��ad we need to talk about jasmine
18:52now so just go and get ready that's no point it's going to end in disaster story in my life
18:57right
18:57this isn't it that cindy's already set off i just skipped kim's big day my wife's sister
19:03my wife who might be dead before the year's out so whatever little wobble you've had
19:08you get your big boy pants on and you'll be ready in five minutes otherwise i'll come and drag you
19:20out well i know he's my uncle but he's really hot when he's angry drag me out
19:45lauren finally where are you have you found him peter i um hang on hang on
20:01all right oscar's got him he's in a state but they're going to get him ready right can you go
20:05and help him
20:05please no you what jimmy is really gripey i think he's i think he's caught a bug uh okay is
20:15he all
20:16right like a grand look after him come to the ceremony at least lauren i'm sorry i can't peter
20:30what was that the registrar yes yes they're five minutes away
20:40okay yeah very well good nice to see you
20:58you're back early yeah um kim she couldn't go through with it because denise weren't there
21:05anyway alf is outside getting us a cab we're gonna gate crash max and cindy's do you gonna come
21:09i'm fine here oh come on max and cindy be too busy to even realize that we're there go on
21:15you go
21:16you don't miss out on the fun i'll see you later no so zoe i'm gonna stay with you yeah
21:24i'll text selfie
21:26get your old mum a drink yeah all right
21:37here
21:37peter what what's just going straight to voicemail lauren's not coming now mum's in there okay we'll
21:43just keep it together although i don't know how much longer i can hold her off peter
21:50the registrar said he's been here for hours you lied to me i swear if you don't tell me the
21:54truth
21:55what's going on what's going on um yeah it's we're one
22:04where have you been oh dolly donut took us to the wrong entrance didn't he oh yeah
22:10because this is all my fault well considering by what do you uh the address
22:16max what's up with your face oh stag do don't blame me
22:23i'm getting married in a while yes yes
22:35you're out of breath linda
22:40look i haven't worked i've got to get to the cash and carry please
22:45what do you want priya i just want to know that you ain't going to tell anybody
22:49oh you want me to keep your dirty little secret do you can you keep your voice down who the
22:53hell do
22:54you think you are to be asking me favors don't look down your nose at me like you ain't made
22:58the same
22:58mistake before what did you just say i'm sorry i'm just thinking of my kids your kids my daughter
23:06is there right now in the middle of this farce of a wedding how is this fair on her do
23:12you know what
23:12i'm not having it linda what are you doing i'm not having annie caught up in your sordid affair
23:21linda linda linda linda no please please don't do that linda
23:28please linda no
23:37i've got to stop her right no priya that's our cab
23:43hey that's our this is our cab this is our cab
23:47jean do what are you doing that's our cab
23:49i know sorry i've been messaging someone it's dad's taxi it's for sale
24:01look at that look at that elfie mentioned that you were a bit upset about the boy zero project
24:08i was what's he telling you that for because he cares and it got me thinking about dad
24:15and when i was at lynn's we were talking about the old days
24:20all crammed in the back of the cab going on adventures
24:25and i wanted to do something nice for you
24:28so i was hoping that we'd find it after a few drinks we started looking and we did
24:34i want to buy it show josh and jasmine and keep dad's memory alive
24:39so how much is it going for five grand right get the bloke on the phone we'll knock him down
24:47all right do you remember that time we went to
24:55so
24:55so
24:55so
25:12I don't know.
25:35Please be seated.
25:40We've come together today, not just to witness a marriage,
25:44but to celebrate a partnership built on shared dreams,
25:48on love, and most importantly, on trust.
25:57What's going on?
26:00I've... I've tried to call in Kim.
26:03I've tried Howie.
26:06I'll speak to you after.
26:11Erm...
26:12What the...?
26:20Oh! OK, wait, wait, wait, wait.
26:23Let me just get my breath back, yeah?
26:26And in fact, let me give you the 360.
26:30Oh!
26:31Yes!
26:33Yes!
26:34Oh! Look!
26:36Oh! Hey!
26:39What are you...?
26:40You're getting... you're getting married here?
26:43Yes!
26:44Oh! Yes!
26:47Because my beautiful sister is my guest of honour.
26:51Oh!
26:56OK.
26:57Right, you're on.
26:58Let's begin, shall we?
27:00Yeah.
27:04I love you.
27:06I love you.
27:11Yeah.
27:26Linda!
27:27I'm begging you, please don't do this.
27:36Cindy, do you take Max to be your husband?
27:38To share your life together?
27:42I do.
27:50Max, do you take Cindy to be your wife?
27:53To share your life together?
27:55Linda!
27:56Linda!
27:56Linda!