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00:00OK, come on.
00:02Two for ten.
00:03Blood.
00:04Come on.
00:09Someone call the police.
00:11What?
00:12They're like robbery.
00:14Ladies, come get your night owl outfit. Come on.
00:17Come on. Come on.
00:25Er, is my mum about?
00:28No.
00:28Hello.
00:32There he is.
00:34I was going to pop in as soon as I heard you were back,
00:36but I thought I'd give you a bit of space.
00:40I don't know if you've heard that I'm going to join Cindy on her honeymoon.
00:44I'll stand by my friend of hers, but I'll be back in a few weeks,
00:47so I thought we could get together for a catch-up and a coffee.
00:53I don't think that's a good idea.
01:04I don't have the capacity for that right now.
01:06The capacity?
01:08Look, I need to focus on rebuilding my life and my businesses.
01:16I'm sorry.
01:21Look at it.
01:22It's weird.
01:23Oh, I'm sorry.
01:24Sorry.
01:24Sorry.
01:24Sorry.
01:24Sorry.
01:25I didn't see you there, OK?
01:26That's what you said last time you tried to mow a kid down.
01:29I've paid for my mistake.
01:31Oh, putting it all behind you.
01:32Yeah, good luck with that.
01:33Show him.
01:37I can't wipe this away.
01:38I'll take it from someone who mows.
01:43Ian!
01:48Did you hear about him kicking off in a big last night?
01:50What?
01:52What a state of it.
01:53How many do you have?
01:54Well, you've got to celebrate your wiggies, don't you?
01:55What, by getting completely and utterly trollied?
01:57Er, part of Kettle much?
01:59I'm a small nighter.
02:00You sound like Mum.
02:01Who?
02:02Apparently she gave Lee an earful.
02:04Well, he's giving an open goal, isn't he?
02:05Out in the last two nights on the bounce.
02:07Yeah, well, he actually left just after you.
02:11And then I checked in with him later.
02:13Apparently Mum wanted to talk about this Jess situation.
02:16She's taking him off to find her.
02:17You look absolutely hanging, Pat.
02:19Anyone else want to chime in on how terrible I look?
02:21I literally had a few drinks to celebrate my win.
02:23Oh, great.
02:24Well, now you've got that off your plate,
02:25you can pull your finger out with a contract.
02:27Yeah, that's fair enough.
02:29Where is Lee?
02:30Er, I don't know.
02:35Do you want to go for a drink later?
02:36Yeah, I do actually, ooh.
02:38You want?
02:39No, the baby's just kicking me in the bladder.
02:41Right, um, message me, tell me where to meet.
02:44Yeah, we'll be.
02:44See you in a bit.
02:45See you later.
02:53Someone's up to no good.
02:55You said not under my roof.
02:57This ain't exactly under your roof, so.
03:00Fair.
03:02So, what are your plans for today?
03:04Eh?
03:05Just sit here, get wasted on your toad?
03:09Sound like a rise, I'd say.
03:12I'll meet you up with someone later, if you must know.
03:14Mmm, anyone I know.
03:16Nah.
03:17Never matter.
03:19Looks like I found your new hiding spot.
03:22I was just, er, finishing walking bud and I thought I'd, er, chill for a bit.
03:28Taking off yesterday, early, meant that someone else had to pick up your slack.
03:32Now, out in the real world, people ain't gonna stand for that.
03:36Won't happen again.
03:38I mean, um, if I'm given a chance.
03:43Anyway, er, I'm gonna take him home and go for a run.
03:47Yeah, good choice.
03:49Yeah.
03:50Oh.
03:53For the record, Ned, it was my idea to duck out early from work yesterday.
03:59Nice.
04:00And I'm sure you had your reasons.
04:03And I do appreciate you taking an interest in the boy.
04:06Well, he ain't exactly a boy anymore.
04:09I mean, he needs to live his own life.
04:11Oh, I got no problem with them living his life.
04:14As long as it's the right one.
04:24Dad!
04:27So good to see you back where you belong.
04:30I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when he came home, but
04:32Jamie was running a temperature and I didn't feel I could leave Lauren on our own with him.
04:36How are you?
04:37Er, yeah, yeah, I'm, er, I'm fine.
04:40Um, Jimmy okay now?
04:43Much better, yeah.
04:45Lauren's staying a few more nights with her mum, er,
04:48so the journey doesn't set him back.
04:51But, I mean...
04:56Listen, it's, er, it's you I'm worried about, though.
05:00Ian!
05:02In here.
05:04Oh, er, hello, love, you're back.
05:06Hi.
05:07I got the first train back this morning.
05:09Oh, that's nice, isn't it, Ian?
05:12Er, Marie said you were looking for me.
05:15Did you need me at all?
05:17Er, er, no, I, erm...
05:19I just popped in on my way from the, er, the chippy.
05:23I should probably go there now, cos I've got my, erm, first probation meeting later and, erm, I haven't got
05:28much time.
05:29Well, to do what? I mean, Peter's only just got here.
05:32Yeah, but I need to check everything.
05:34Well, maybe you could do it together.
05:36Oh, right, so he can keep an eye on me.
05:39Look, obviously you've told him what happened last night.
05:41Said he's gotta rush back here to keep an eye on his dad cos he's losing it.
05:44No, it wasn't like that!
05:45Don't lie to me!
05:49Sorry.
06:00Look, Mummy, shall I try and walk again?
06:05Well done!
06:06But no, darling, we'd better work our way up to that, yeah?
06:10Right, let's get you home, shall we?
06:12Strap in, break off.
06:19Good job.
06:35Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane? No. It's Super Baby!
06:39OK, careful! I just fed in. He's gonna be sick.
06:42Sorry, sorry.
06:43Oh, he's so cute!
06:46Oh, we're gonna have to watch out, you know, with Ivy in years to come.
06:51Oh, don't worry, his dad will keep him in line.
06:53Who's his dad, man?
06:55Oh, er, I am.
06:57Luckily, he takes after his mum in the looks department.
07:00Oh, he has to go.
07:01Shhh is gonna be the one.
07:01Shhh shhh shhh.
07:02Oh!
07:18I got a bird.
07:20I got an bird and a bird and a bird there with my dad.
07:28I'm going to be the one who's coming, though.
07:32Hey, what are you listening to?
07:34You wouldn't know it.
07:36It's kind of obscure, digi-dub, 90s, I didn't talk vibes.
07:4190s?
07:42You're very well preserved, you don't mind me saying.
07:45My dad got me into it.
07:47You could blame him.
07:48What do you mean your dad?
07:50You're moving way faster than I'm used to.
07:53Need a hand?
07:55It's not coming off very easily.
07:58Looks like you need some white spirit.
08:01Just so you know, I didn't kill anyone.
08:05Yeah, I know that.
08:10Kind of scum who do things like this.
08:12They're more interested in outrage than accuracy.
08:21There's another rag in the bucket.
08:31Might take a bit of elbow grease, but at least now you'll have a fighting chance.
08:39I'm Ned, by the way.
08:41Staying at number one.
08:43I'm Nicola's brother-in-law.
08:46Uh...
08:47Ian.
08:48Ian Bell.
08:53I saw the article in the Gazette this morning.
08:56The kid you hear, by accident.
08:59Is he local?
09:04Come on.
09:06I apologise if I've overstepped.
09:08It's fine.
09:08I don't have to say.
09:12Sometimes, talking to a stranger helps.
09:15But then again, I suppose I would say that.
09:19I was in the army.
09:21Had a fair bit of therapy.
09:24And so I retrained and became a therapist myself.
09:28I'd like to think I've helped a few people along the way.
09:36The, uh...
09:37The kid, he's a...
09:40He's a neighbour.
09:41His name's Jordan.
09:46And will he recover?
09:49Eventually, yeah.
09:53What about you?
09:55Will you recover from this?
09:58Sorry, mate.
09:59I think your flies are open.
10:01Ah!
10:03Alice.
10:03This is my idiot cousin, Harry.
10:06Enjante.
10:06What are you doing?
10:07Enjante.
10:08Get out of here.
10:09Come on.
10:11Sorry about him.
10:12So this really is your family's place?
10:15Yeah.
10:16Yeah, I expect I'll end up running it one day.
10:18Ryder.
10:19You couldn't run a bath.
10:33Bit early for romance, innit?
10:35Ha!
10:35Only day.
10:37This is Alice.
10:39Nice to meet you, Alice.
10:41Likewise.
10:42You know, Ryder told me he was meeting someone,
10:45but he was being a bit cagey about it,
10:46so I'm surprised he brought you here.
10:49Oh, he wasn't going to meet me.
10:52We've just met.
10:53At the park.
10:54Oh, first move as a barrier.
10:58Sorry, where are the ladies?
10:59Oh, they're just over there, darling.
11:06Pretty girl.
11:08No wonder you wanted to show her off.
11:10Show her off?
11:11To who?
11:12Or to whoever you thought was going to be here.
11:15Me.
11:16Harry.
11:17Your dad.
11:20I don't care who you've got hanging off your arm, darling,
11:23but she seems like a nice girl,
11:24so make sure you treat her right.
11:36I just want to say, um...
11:39Thanks for helping me.
11:41Really appreciate it.
11:43What do I owe you for the white spirit?
11:44Oh, behave, man.
11:46I've got you a coffee.
11:50Cheers.
11:51I'll have you inside.
11:52Uh, uh, no.
11:53Sit down.
11:55You've got nothing to be ashamed of.
12:03You mustn't worry so much about what other people think.
12:06The ones that matter don't think it anyway.
12:09And the ones that do will move on to hating someone else
12:11by the end of the week.
12:13Doesn't feel like that.
12:15That's because you're in the eye of the storm.
12:18You think that your life's changed forever
12:20because you nearly caused the death,
12:22but...
12:24You look around.
12:27All these people that you see,
12:29they tread in the fine line between life and death
12:31every single second of the day.
12:33The cyclist who jumps a red light.
12:35The bus driver distracted by his phone.
12:38Anyone who tries my cooking.
12:42The difference between them and you...
12:46is that they never have to confront their demons
12:48because they're nearly never happened.
12:51At least not yet.
12:55I've spoken to dozens of people like you.
12:58Soldiers, mostly.
13:00Men and women trying to face the consequences
13:04of something that they've done or...
13:07that was done to them.
13:10Some of them manage to move on with their lives.
13:14Some of them fall apart.
13:18Do you know what makes a difference?
13:21Talking to you?
13:23No, sadly not.
13:25I wish...
13:27No.
13:28The difference is...
13:30that some of them are prepared to go back down into the dark
13:34and wade through their fear and guilt
13:37and look their demons straight in the eye.
13:44You alright?
13:46Alice is gone.
13:52Do you want to talk?
13:56Would it be easier if I kicked things off?
14:03Or...
14:05would it be easier if I just said it?
14:11You're gay.
14:13Am I right?
14:22I love you.
14:26We all do.
14:33So...
14:34Anyone else know?
14:36Well, I suppose there's a few dozen fellas.
14:38You've probably got a pretty good idea, but...
14:43No one in the family, no.
14:47Well...
14:49You know your mum would be fine with him.
14:52Well, I could never put her in a difficult position, you know,
14:55because...
14:56his dad can never know.
15:04So, this is the place?
15:08Fine.
15:09Talk me through what happened.
15:16I can't.
15:17Yeah, you can.
15:17Yeah, you can.
15:18You're just choosing not to.
15:21You're looking away.
15:22Don't look away.
15:24Pick your head up.
15:25Come on, head up.
15:28Right, this is the moment, right here, right now.
15:31This is the moment...
15:35where you choose to be brave.
15:39So, wind it back.
15:43You...
15:44the car...
15:46the boy.
15:58I was, um...
16:02I was, um...
16:03I was with my mum.
16:05And...
16:07We got in the car.
16:09And she'd been drinking, so she was...
16:12turning the radio on, I was turning it off.
16:14She turned the air conditioning on, I turned it off.
16:17She turned the radio on again and again, and...
16:20I kept turning it off.
16:21It was...
16:22it was loud, and...
16:23and she was distracting me.
16:25Own it.
16:34I was distracted.
16:38I wasn't paying attention, and I...
16:44I put the car in reverse, and...
16:47jolt it back, and I...
16:51I thought I'd hit something, but I didn't...
16:53I didn't really...
16:55pay any attention.
16:57I just thought it was the traffic gun.
17:02So, we, um...
17:04drove off like...
17:06normal.
17:07Me and my mum, we just went home.
17:13It wasn't normal, was it?
17:17Everything changed.
17:21Everything changed forever.
17:23Of course it did.
17:26And it should.
17:30You nearly took the life of a child.
17:35You suffered the anger of family...
17:38neighbours...
17:39all the terrible things that happened to you in prison.
17:42Of course you changed.
17:43How could it not change you?
17:45But, has it ever occurred to you...
17:48that you might have changed...
17:50for the better?
17:52He eyes it well, but...
17:54underneath all the modern man stuff...
17:56you know, he'd not be alright with me being...
17:59well...
17:59you know.
18:01You sure about that?
18:02Because I mean, he must have had gay clients in the past.
18:05I suppose so.
18:06And if he did, I'm sure he...
18:08listened and empathised and...
18:10said all the right things, but...
18:12you know, words come easy behind your son.
18:16You don't think that you're just projecting this?
18:19You know, because you're, I don't know, scared or...
18:23Nah.
18:25When you grow up with someone, you pick up on stuff.
18:28You know?
18:29Like...
18:29Like, there was this one boy on my football team.
18:31You know, who...
18:32I guess...
18:33he was a bit...
18:34different.
18:35Like, he couldn't hide it like I do.
18:38The other boys were awful to him.
18:40Like, calling him gay and queer.
18:42Like, for years.
18:43And he took it and took it...
18:45until eventually he just left.
18:46And then when I went and told Dad what happened...
18:49he just shrugged and said it was probably for the best.
18:52Football and gays ain't a good mix.
18:55You didn't say that.
18:57Yeah, he said a lot more.
19:00About how I felt sorry for the lads.
19:02How it was a lonely road.
19:03That his life was gonna be harder just cause he liked boys.
19:09That's when I realised I probably shouldn't tell him
19:10I'd been hooking up with that same one going on two years.
19:19But...
19:20I guess that's when I fell out of love with football.
19:24Two months later I was done.
19:27Yeah, so I guess he was right.
19:29Football and gays ain't a good mix.
19:31No.
19:32Your Dad should never have said that.
19:34It's okay.
19:35That is fine.
19:36No. No, it's not okay, Ryder.
19:38You should be able to be yourself around the people who love you.
19:43Well...
19:43I've told you now, haven't I?
19:45Maybe I can be myself with you.
19:48Of course you can.
19:51So...
19:52Are you seeing anyone?
19:56There is this one guy I've been chatting to online.
19:59He's always wanting to go on a date.
20:01He's actually kind of relentless.
20:02Oh, not stalker vibes?
20:03No.
20:04No.
20:05No, he's...
20:06He's sweet.
20:08He's funny.
20:09He's really into me for some reason.
20:12Because you're an amazing catch.
20:15Darling, don't let the fear of your Dad knowing dictate how you live your life.
20:21If you like this guy, then call him.
20:26What, like, on a phone?
20:28Yeah.
20:30How old actually are you?
20:32Jeez!
20:35My arms are aching now.
20:37You know, if you, like, look up to the sky, it makes you feel like you're going higher.
20:41Ha!
20:42Careful.
20:51Hey.
20:55I...
20:55I...
20:56Just want to say...
20:58You don't need to say anything.
21:00It's okay.
21:03I'm glad to see you.
21:06Feels like...
21:07Maybe you've been avoiding us a bit.
21:13Are you okay?
21:16It's not me I'm worried about.
21:20He's getting better.
21:21Aren't you, Jordan?
21:22Yeah.
21:23Stronger every day.
21:27It's good, it's...
21:31Look, if there's anything I can do to help, I mean, pay for physio, you know, stuff like that, I'd
21:38like to, I mean it.
21:40Can you push me?
21:42Mummy doesn't push me hard enough.
21:45Well, I'm sure your mum does a very, very good job, but if you would like me to give you
21:51a push, I'd...
21:53I'd love to.
21:53Yeah.
21:54Go on then.
21:56Right.
21:57Uh-oh.
21:58Ready?
22:00Hiya!
22:01Up to the moon!
22:03To the moon!
22:04Well, then what, we're never gonna come back!
22:12Oh, I've got to go, I've got to go.
22:15What is going on?
22:17You've asked me out for a drink and you just sat there like a couple of lemons.
22:20You're gonna have more fun passing a kidney stone.
22:23All right.
22:25Just...
22:25I'm tired.
22:27Drink?
22:28Clearly got drinks, come on.
22:31I'll just get a fresh one for me.
22:36Why is he being weird? You had a row?
22:38No.
22:39No, of course not.
22:42Okay, look, I should've told you this before, but Mum and Lee have gone to find Jess to try and
22:49work things out.
22:52So much for the whole no more secrets thing then. Oh, what, and she's told you not to tell me?
22:56No, no, it was both of them, actually. They don't want you worrying.
22:59She's the one who's worrying because I told her to keep her nose out.
23:02Yeah, why? She's literally just trying to make things better.
23:05No, she's trying to make it all about her, as usual.
23:10Right, well, I know she's not perfect, but I think you might be being a bit harsh.
23:15Of course you think that. You've been too close for too long. You're brainwashed.
23:20Great. So I'm some emotionally stunted mummy's boy now, am I?
23:23Yeah, that's exactly what you are.
23:27Sweet.
23:30So you're clear on the conditions of your licence?
23:34Yeah, I think so.
23:35It's important that you are.
23:37Because although you're back in the community, you're still serving your sentence.
23:40You can be recalled at any time if you don't adhere.
23:44Yeah, I understand. Thank you.
23:46Formal part over. Do you mind me asking about your mental health?
23:51No, I don't mind.
23:52I mean, to be honest with you, it's not been that good.
23:56No, you don't really mean that.
23:59Mum, I do.
24:01I mean, they're probably thinking I should just tell you that I'm fine, but I'm not.
24:05No, nobody's saying that. We're just worried about you.
24:07I know you are, son.
24:11Look, it's a pressure to just jump back into your life as if nothing's happened, but so much has happened.
24:20I mean, I'm not the same man I was before I went inside and I think that's okay.
24:28And maybe, um, eventually I can, I can be better.
24:37Nothing.
24:39But hope.
24:40I think that's the most honest answer I've heard all week.
24:43I'm looking forward to working with you, Ian.
24:47Mum used to say, out of all her four kids, I was the best baby.
24:52What does that mean, best baby?
24:55Er, well, I think she meant I just slept a lot.
24:59Yeah?
25:00Yeah.
25:00Okay, then, best baby, can you hold this one while I go to the loo?
25:04All right.
25:06All right, Ethan.
25:07Here we go.
25:12It's okay, all right? Hey.
25:14Calm down.
25:15It's okay.
25:16Hey.
25:16Ethan.
25:19You all right, then?
25:20Oh, Vin, what have you done? You told him a joke?
25:22Yeah, very, very funny.
25:24Actually, do you know what? You can have a go, then.
25:25Oh, go on, then.
25:26Yeah?
25:26That's right, you're finished.
25:28Oh, here we go.
25:29Here we go.
25:30Where is he?
25:31Yeah, where is he?
25:33Oh, shh, there we are.
25:36See, he likes me.
25:37Oh, no, you've just confused him.
25:39Look, he ain't sure if you're human.
25:45What's put a smile on your face?
25:48Oh, just Ryder, telling me about his plans for the evening.
25:51Oh, yeah?
25:53What's he up to?
25:55Nothing much.
25:57You two seem to be striking up quite the bond.
26:01Yeah, well, I think I've just got that new car smell about me.
26:05Do you know what I mean?
26:05Give him a month and he'll think I'm as boring as everyone else does.
26:10You don't need to be defensive about it.
26:12I'm just, you know, genuinely interested as to what you two talk about.
26:19Don't get up.
26:21To be continued.
26:26Ian!
26:28I just wanted to say thanks, OK?
26:30What you said earlier, it was a great help.
26:36I talked to Chelsea and to Jordan and it feels like a weight's been lifted, so thank you.
26:48Ian!
26:48You are more than welcome.
26:55Ian!
27:01You know you could talk to me anytime.
27:07I'd like that.
27:08My door's always open.
27:30I'm waiting for you.
27:33No!
27:34Come on, come on.
27:38I'm ready.
27:39We're waiting.
27:39You