Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview | Milton & Hugo LLC

Name: Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview | Milton & Hugo LLC
Uploaded: 2026-08-14T00:14:53+00:00
Duration: 16 min 58 s
Channel: Milton & Hugo

00:02this is the speaking of writers podcast i'm steve richards this is the speaking of writers

00:10podcast i'm steve richards every family story is unique for some the path to parenthood is

00:17straightforward for others it's filled with years of hope heartbreak perseverance and unimaginable

00:23strength today's guest has written an unforgettable memoir that shines a light on a journey so many

00:29people experience but far too few openly discuss in rainbow baby jennifer shabib shares her deeply

00:37personal story of infertility miscarriage ivf a failed adoption delayed motherhood and ultimately

00:45becoming a first-time mother at the age of 47 it's a story about resilience partnership grief joy and

00:52believing that miracles sometimes arrive on a different timeline than we expect more importantly

00:58it's a book that gives voice to countless families who have silently endured fertility struggles and

01:04reminds readers that hope can survive even life's greatest heartbreaks jennifer welcome to the speaking

01:11of writers podcast thank you so much for having me steve appreciate it it's great to have you here so

01:18what made you decide that now was the right time to tell your story and who did you hope would

01:25find

01:26rainbow baby well steve um i've been thinking about writing the story um since i had my rainbow baby

01:34nicholas um because i had some time once i had him i reflected back on everything i'd gone through to

01:41have him and i remember thinking during that journey that there wasn't a lot of support there was support

01:47but from it was coming from a science angle or a doctor angle and i i wanted to connect with

01:53just

01:53you know mothers or people expecting mothers or prospective mothers that um maybe had a similar

02:00journey and it wasn't finding that um unfortunately i lost my i've been in executive recruiting for 20

02:07plus years and a few months ago um i lost my position due to an acquisition so what that did

02:13leave me with

02:14was time so then i decided okay well maybe there's a sign you maybe it's time to tell my story

02:20so

02:20while looking for a job i was able to write this book and my hope was that it would reach

02:26um you

02:28know women out there i'm certainly not alone i know many women have been through this journey have

02:32walked this path but um infertility is often taboo women it's very personal which i completely

02:39understand many women don't want to tell the story but i feel like maybe it's because um they haven't

02:45been able to connect with others that have been so vulnerable about their story so my hope is by my

02:50putting everything that i went through very raw very real um what it's like to go through the fertility

02:57journey having a child at a mature age the guilt the shame everything that you carry um i wanted it

03:04to

03:04be out there i wanted it to be something that um other women and and men for that matter because

03:10this journey is for them too um just not the physical one but the emotional one is there so

03:15i was hoping to connect with couples um that are going through a similar path that them could pick

03:20it up and say oh wow there is still hope for me um you know in my 40s late 40s

03:26because when i was

03:27going through the process i just didn't um i didn't have the resources that i was hoping for they didn't

03:33really talk about some of the options i would always hear of women having their babies in their late 40s

03:38and i was like well then i you know obviously i can do it but you didn't really know what

03:43was

03:43behind the scenes that allowed them to have the baby so that's why i told my story because i feel

03:49like um it is sometimes a taboo or a topic that we shy away from but it was important for

03:55me to put

03:55it out there in hopes i could connect with others jennifer the phrase rainbow baby represents hope

04:02after unimaginable loss what does that term mean to you today it means um kind of just what you said

04:12that hope prevails it's the rainbow after the storm you know the storm wasn't only the loss of pregnancy

04:19but just the journey it took me to get here um i actually have a tattoo um of a rainbow

04:26with my son's

04:27name on it because i want to be able to look at it every day and know you know i

04:32would be reminded

04:33of everything that i i went through to have him so it's a very you know why i named the

04:37book rainbow

04:38baby because i think it will really resonate with others um that have experienced a loss but now are

04:43on the other side of it you begin by sharing your upbringing career and life experiences before trying

04:49to have a child why was it important for readers to understand who jennifer was before becoming mom

04:56well i think it was important steve because i again reading the book you'll find this out i didn't

05:02um grow up really knowing if i wanted a family um you know i i grew up in a multi

05:08-generational home

05:09single mom who worked very hard so those values were instilled in me so that was on the forefront

05:15versus having a family i knew i wanted to go to college and and have a career so it wasn't

05:21until

05:21almost my late 30s when i met my now husband brad that i even wanted really wanted a child so

05:29i felt

05:29it was important to kind of lay that foundation for other women that may you know have thought that

05:34they you know didn't want children but then later in life did um things like back then donor egg and

05:41freezing your eggs and those things really weren't in the conversation so that's why i was in it was

05:45important to me to kind of tell my story of where i was to lay that foundation so that um

05:50you know it

05:51was something that readers could connect with too that maybe had also thought i wasn't sure if i was

05:56going to have a family you write openly about multiple ivf rounds miscarriages of failed adoption

06:03financial stress relationship pressure and emotional exhaustion too looking back what and which part of

06:11that journey challenged you the most um it's a great question um i think it was just that the decision

06:22to keep going um after our first failed round i remember saying i don't think i can do this again

06:27to my husband um and then after you know a little bit of healing i said i think i i

06:34can do it again and i

06:35think it was just being able to keep um the hope through those processes knowing that i was older

06:43um and that it might take a might take a while i think i was naive going into it steve

06:49i thought oh

06:49you know i'm i'm in shape i'm healthy you know this is this you know i have you know first

06:55round one

06:55and done you know i didn't expect to have to go through so many so i think it was just

07:00the decision

07:00to keep going was absolutely the hardest one of the most beautiful themes in this book is that

07:06grief and joy can exist at the same time was that one of the hardest lessons to accept

07:14yes yes very much so um and and where that really landed for me was once um i had nicholas

07:21um you know

07:22finally after years and years of trying i had you know my rainbow baby but my miracle baby in front

07:28of

07:29me and um i was disconnected at first i you know obviously i was happy he was healthy and he

07:36was

07:36here but i didn't immediately feel that over sense overwhelming sense of joy that mothers always talk

07:42about and that scared me i thought you know i carried a lot of guilt like um why don't i

07:49feel this i i

07:50went through all of this and now i i don't feel that that sense of you know this is the

07:55the i love

07:56him more than anything in this world um so that was really profound for me um something that it took

08:02a while for me um a lot of counseling and therapy and you know obviously eventually i got through it

08:07but that's a postpartum is a very real very tough process that also women don't always talk about

08:13and the shame behind it quite frankly you mentioned your husband brad earlier you write movingly about

08:19brad's unwavering support how important was it to include his perspective in the story and what did

08:25you learn about marriage through adversity yeah he was my rock um you know we always say as the woman

08:34we go throughout the physicality of the process but then there's the emotional aspect that you have

08:39to lean on for your partner and it's also a loss for him too um just because he isn't physically

08:44going through it doesn't mean he isn't um going through his own grief and his own concerns and

08:50you know a lot he was worried about me like are you sure you can do this again and you

08:54know so

08:54just having someone you know be such a partner um i think is important if you're going to make the

09:01decision to go through some things like this um you want to make sure that you have a really solid

09:06relationship and solid partner now it got rocky there because of all the guilt that i carried when it

09:12wasn't successful and in my head i was thinking well he could just leave me for someone you know that

09:17can give him the child that he wants without having to go through all this but we had real conversation

09:23about that um concern as we went through it and so i think that's important to keep in mind is

09:27you know

09:29shutting down wasn't an option for me i needed to lean on him and so that and he was a

09:34great partner

09:34in that aspect society often places expectations on when women should become mothers what would you

09:43say to women who worry they've somehow missed their chance yeah i would say if you you know really

09:52you know want it to happen um there are um you know there are things that you can do um

09:59you know

10:00not ivf is not accessible for everybody i realize it's an expensive process i happen to work for a

10:06company um where the insurance covered it and this was before it was really normalized and more companies

10:12were offering it um i wouldn't have been able to go through it that many times but i would say

10:17if you

10:17have the means um explore all your options um and just because you're you know at a mature age um

10:25there are

10:25you know things that resources that can help you um there's lots of foundations lots of support out

10:32there um but if you you know truly you know don't give up on your dream if that's truly something

10:37that

10:37you want um you know ask the right questions of your your doctors ask you know dig into your support

10:44system make sure you have everything in place and it could still be an option for you

10:49many people understand infertility emotionally but don't always realize that physical demands

10:54what surprised you most about the toll it took on your body yeah um so steve i was always athletic

11:02i was

11:03you know a runner i was in shape and um those medications and the cadence of taking them and

11:10the amount you take them really does take the toll um emotionally and physically i wasn't you know there

11:17was times where i wasn't even able to really go for a walk just because of the the the side

11:22effects of the medications um they weren't debilitating but they certainly made me more

11:27exhausted um you know in some ways it was um frustrating you know that i had to even you know

11:33go

11:34through all of this um but i tried to keep my spirits up and i tried to do what i

11:38could physically but

11:39there were certainly days where it took me down um and it was you know it was hard to kind

11:45of keep a

11:46normal the normal activity that i was used to doing um so i had to take a step back and

11:51reevaluate how i

11:52was um handing my physicality at that time jennifer there are moments in this memoir that are incredibly

11:59raw were there chapters you almost didn't include because they just felt too personal yes um there were

12:08sections i would say more and more or less than chapters um talking about the postpartum um

12:15you know not the immediate connection um even you know once he was born and going through the

12:21difficulties of him not sleeping and you know me just kind of second guessing was this the right

12:27decision were we too old you know can i handle this will i ever connect with him that was really

12:33difficult and then um the times where i was in a deep depression and you know i thought about you

12:39know do i want to be here anymore um that was really hard um to write and i'm i know

12:45hard for

12:46my family and friends to read too but it was a real emotion for me i i had it um

12:51thankfully i you know

12:52got past it and i you know put nicholas at the forefront everything i went through i'm not gonna

12:57you know not be here to raise him and see him through but there were those dark the very dark

13:03times and those were two two sections that worked what i did i did wonder if i would put down

13:09in the

13:09book but i'm glad i did because it was a real part of my journey even readers here who haven't

13:15experienced infertility no disappointment and loss do you see rainbow baby as a story that's

13:21ultimately about resilience rather than fertility yes i kind of see it as both but

13:27i i writing the book is not just to put out there um the story you know of having rainbow

13:35baby it's

13:36just it's it's broader than that it's you know the story about resilience the story about hope um

13:42everybody's journey might look would look different than mine but there's lots of similarities but um i do

13:49want it to be looked at as um a tool that you know maybe someone going through it can use

13:54to sort of

13:55um supplement you know their what they're going through and maybe see it as a um a ray of positivity

14:02um versus you know this is a book about infertility it's a book about coming out on the other end

14:09and jennifer jennifer someone watching or listening to this podcast has just experienced a miscarriage

14:15is beginning ivf or feels like giving up hope what would you want them to hear

14:23i would really want them to hear you know first and foremost you're not alone um you know because

14:29it can be very isolating um you know for me um having a child in my late 40s i was

14:36surrounded by

14:36friends and family whose kids were going off to college um so it was hard to find people to relate

14:42to

14:42so i would say find a and there's lots of them out there find a support system for you that

14:48fits your

14:48narrative because it's not one size fits all um you know going to um you know a group of folks

14:55that

14:56are that have a a different infertility need than you might not fit your support so just do some

15:01research get get support around you um because that's what will kind of guide you through the next

15:06steps and when you look at your son nicholas now what emotions come to mind knowing everything your

15:12family endured to reach this chapter in your life pure joy just pure joy um i i look at him

15:22and i can't

15:23believe he's going to be seven years old um i'm just i'm so grateful for where we are um we

15:30still have

15:30some challenges ahead um but i feel you know just i feel proud of myself for you know going through

15:37everything i i did to have him and very fortunate that he's such a great kid um and that you

15:44know i

15:44was you know blessed to to get to this point after so many years many women don't get that opportunity

15:50so for me i just i see pure joy is really the only way i can state it rainbow baby

15:56is an inspiring

15:57reminder that hope and heartbreak often walk hand in hand and that our greatest miracles

16:02sometimes arrive after our greatest challenges your honesty is certain to comfort countless

16:07readers and encourage conversations that have remained silent for far too long and this book

16:14rainbow baby is available at amazon barnes and noble milton and hugo.com as well congratulations

16:20jennifer on writing such a courageous and heartfelt memoir thank you so much i and i appreciate the

16:26opportunity to to talk about it with you today yeah thank you for joining me and thank you for

16:30watching and for listening and if you enjoyed today's conversation be sure to subscribe to

16:35the speaking of writers podcast wherever you listen to podcasts leave a review share this episode with a

16:39friend and join us next time as we continue bringing you conversations with today's most compelling

16:45authors i'm steve richards i will talk to you again next time

16:52this is the speaking of writers podcast i'm steve richards

Rainbow Baby by Jennifer Shebib | Radio Interview | Milton & Hugo LLC

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