- il y a 8 heures
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Art et designTranscription
00:00Before our honeymoon to the Amalfi coast,
00:02my husband Julian cancelled our flight behind my back.
00:05He swapped them for tickets to Ibiza
00:08with his childhood best friend, Poppy.
00:11Even his pack of party boyfriends thought he'd gone too far
00:14and tried to talk him down.
00:20The fuck?
00:21Julian, this is messed up. Claire's been looking forward to it forever.
00:25Julian didn't care. He brushed them off without a second thought.
00:28It's Poppy's birthday wish.
00:30One more single girl trip with her before I'm locked down for good.
00:33Claire always blows everything out of proportion.
00:35This'll be good for her. Reminder she's not the center of the universe.
00:39The Poppy he was talking about was his weepy childhood playmate.
00:42And I was Claire, the wife he couldn't even bother to say my wife about.
00:46I didn't fight. I didn't argue.
00:48I pretended I had no idea, quietly cancelled the honeymoon,
00:51and bought a one-way ticket to another country on the other side of the ocean.
00:55My phone was lagging. The cancellation screen kept spinning.
00:58Meanwhile, on Poppy's pink tablet,
01:00an iMessage group chat called Astor's Royal Guard wouldn't stop lighting up.
01:04I tapped it open. Poppy's avatar filled the screen.
01:08What the hell is wrong with you assholes?
01:09Every single one of you is taking Claire's side!
01:12Like she's your bro, not me!
01:14Fine. You're right. It's all my fault.
01:17I'm just a bitch.
01:18I shouldn't have a birthday.
01:20I definitely shouldn't have wished for Julian to come with me.
01:23I should be like the rest of you, kissing Queen Claire's ass.
01:26You're her real friends.
01:28I don't matter at all. Happy now.
01:30Julian, who'd been ghosting me for two days, claiming he was in meetings,
01:33replied in seconds.
01:34He at the other six guys and sent one thing.
01:37A single question mark.
01:39Sorry, sorry, sorry.
01:41It's just one bachelorette trip.
01:43Queen Poppy says jump.
01:45We don't just send Julian.
01:46All six of us drop everything and show up as bodyguards.
01:51Screw you. Claire's the one you actually answered to.
01:54Claire, please.
01:55So they had a wedding. Big deal.
01:57Julian's still got that paperwork locked in his safe.
01:59She's a wife in name only.
02:01Legally, none of it counts.
02:03Last laugh's still up for grabs.
02:05I blinked, staring at the group chat that was so much livelier without me in it.
02:09If Poppy hadn't left her tablet in Julian's car,
02:12I wouldn't have even earned a peek at all this fun.
02:15And there I'd been, naively reading travel guides,
02:19hoping the honeymoon would make for great photos.
02:22I stared at the empty itinerary for a long time.
02:25Then I went back to the home screen,
02:27typed in a new destination, and made a call.
02:32Mom, I'll go to London with you.
02:34On the other end, my mother caught it immediately.
02:37Something was wrong.
02:38Back then, she'd turned down a once-in-a-lifetime job offer for my sake.
02:43Mom, I know you have questions.
02:45But right now, I don't have the energy to explain everything that just happened.
02:50I've made up my mind.
02:51Once I wrap up work and get my visa sorted, I'll fly out.
02:55Then I'll tell you everything.
02:56Mom went quiet for a few seconds.
02:58In the end, she didn't push.
02:59I hung up and collapsed onto the couch, trying to steady myself.
03:03Julian's friends had a point.
03:04We'd signed a prenup.
03:05We'd had a wedding.
03:06But he deliberately locked the marriage license.
03:08The one we still had to file with City Hall, in his safe.
03:11Until it was legally binding.
03:12I was just a wife, who could be swapped out at any moment.
03:15Which, right now, meant I didn't have to wait for him to come home.
03:18No divorce proceedings.
03:20No drawn-out fights over assets.
03:21I pushed the wave of feeling back down, and forced myself up to start packing.
03:25In the closet, the his-and-hers vacation outfits, freshly pressed, seemed to grin at me.
03:30I'd designed them myself.
03:31For the honeymoon.
03:32For Julian.
03:33I'd pulled all-nighters.
03:35Revising them over and over.
03:37The final pieces had just come in today.
03:39Half an hour ago, I'd still been waiting for Julian to come home and try them on.
03:43Now, I just wanted to throw every single one of them in the trash.
03:48By the time I'd packed and dragged my suitcase to the door, it was the middle of the night.
03:57Julian, say it.
03:59Come on.
04:00You're my royal stallion.
04:01Giddy up.
04:02Yeah, yeah.
04:03Through my stinging, blurred vision, I saw Julian, who hadn't been home in three days,
04:08giving Poppy a piggyback ride.
04:10Her face was flushed red.
04:12One hand had his ear in a death grip.
04:14The other was patting his head, demanding he neigh.
04:20Poppy's drunk.
04:21I didn't know why he was bothering to explain.
04:24When he'd moved in with me, and Poppy bought the apartment directly above ours the very next day,
04:29he hadn't explained.
04:30When Poppy had giggled in our doorway, hanging off Julian and purring,
04:34sweetie, I'll always be on top of you, he hadn't explained then either.
04:38All he ever said was,
04:40Claire, you know what we are to each other.
04:43They were childhood sweethearts, after all.
04:45Two old money families joined at the hip.
04:47Everyone had watched them grow up.
04:49For years, they'd been the golden couple in every photo.
04:52Until Julian launched a three-year campaign chasing me in college.
04:55To him, that was proof enough that there was nothing between him and Poppy.
04:59Once I tore myself apart over it, I obsessed.
05:02I picked fights.
05:03But now, whatever they did had nothing to do with me anymore.
05:05I looked away.
05:06All I said was,
05:07Yeah, of course.
05:08Then I started to wheel my suitcase past him.
05:11It was the answer he should have wanted.
05:13He didn't take it well.
05:16Say that again?
05:17I said,
05:18We're done, Julian.
05:20I'm breaking up with you.
05:24You're really not done throwing this tantrum, are you?
05:26And by the way, Claire,
05:28we had our wedding last week.
05:30If you're throwing a fit,
05:32the words divorce,
05:34not breakup.
05:36Breakup.
05:37Divorce.
05:37To Julian, they were the same kind of joke.
05:40He looked at me lazily,
05:41the way you humor a child who's being unreasonable.
05:44I didn't bother arguing.
05:45The corner of my mouth twitched.
05:47Call it whatever you want.
05:48But I couldn't leave.
05:49The standoff lasted only a few seconds.
05:56Enough!
05:57I can't deal with you two anymore!
06:03Julian instinctively reached down to help her up.
06:05She shoved him away.
06:06Don't touch me.
06:08Don't touch me.
06:08I'm done.
06:08I'm done.
06:09The second she sees me,
06:10it's I want to break up.
06:11I'm leaving.
06:12Am I some kind of prop?
06:14Am I garbage?
06:14Why is she so disgusted by me?
06:17Julian,
06:18let's cut each other off.
06:20I am sick of walking on eggshells around her.
06:24It's all my fault.
06:26I shouldn't have ever shown up in your lives.
06:28I shouldn't have grown up with you.
06:30Right on cue,
06:31she launched into dramatic dry heaving,
06:33faking that she couldn't breathe,
06:34tearing through her Hermes bag for something.
06:36My pills!
06:36Where's my Xanax?
06:37I'm dying!
06:38Maybe I should just die!
06:39Anything's better than being treated like this every single time!
06:41The heat at my wrist disappeared.
06:44Julian had already pulled her into his arms,
06:46stopping her.
06:47It took maybe a few seconds.
06:51Poppy was gasping wildly against his chest,
06:53her eyes red.
06:57Happy now?
06:58It was always like this.
06:59The instant I showed even a hint of resistance,
07:02Poppy would declare an anxiety attack
07:04and start frantically hurting herself.
07:06Can't speak to her.
07:07Can't touch her.
07:08Can't even walk away.
07:10In the early days,
07:11Julian had begged me to humor her.
07:13Claire, you've been through it yourself.
07:15You know how it is
07:16when she's like this,
07:17all you can do is go along with her.
07:18Because lives were on the line,
07:20I caved every time.
07:21I avoided the storm,
07:23but eventually,
07:23I figured it out.
07:24Poppy's condition
07:25only flared up
07:27when Julian wasn't choosing her over me.
07:29That so-called anxiety disorder,
07:30it was just possessedness in costume,
07:32forcing him to pick a side.
07:33I looked down at the smug little look on Poppy's face.
07:36I nodded.
07:38Sure.
07:39Very happy.
07:41Though,
07:41you moved a little too fast.
07:43You didn't get to find the pills.
07:44Your acting could use some work.
07:47Try harder next time.
07:48A flash of shock crossed Poppy's face.
07:50She froze,
07:51then started gearing up for round two.
07:53His tall frame loomed over me.
07:55Suddenly,
07:55my whole field of vision went dark.
07:57The shoulder that used to shelter me
07:59was now carrying another woman.
08:01Carrying her
08:02while blocking my way out.
08:04Claire,
08:06I really have been spoiling you too much.
08:11She has every right to make you pay for that.
08:13Be grateful,
08:14Claire.
08:14I'm the one holding her back.
08:16For a moment,
08:17the world went vacuum silence.
08:19I couldn't hear a thing.
08:21Even Poppy froze.
08:23Then she snapped out of it,
08:24jerked her hand free,
08:25and swung it hard at my face.
08:26A second before her palm hit me,
08:28Julian caught her wrist.
08:29Those eyes.
08:30The ones that used to watch over me through the night.
08:32That used to pull me out of nightmares.
08:34Tonight,
08:34they were cold as ice.
08:36A flicker of disgust.
08:37A warning.
08:38You really thought you could just walk out on me?
08:40If she'd actually hit you,
08:42you'd be throwing a fit for days, right?
08:44She got hurt,
08:45and you don't even care?
08:49When you're ready to be reasonable,
08:50you'll apologize to Poppy yourself.
08:53I stood there,
08:54watching the floor numbers climb,
08:56my whole body shaking.
08:57Cold.
08:58So cold.
08:59The kind that crept up from the bottom of you,
09:01that no coat,
09:02no matter how expensive,
09:03could keep out.
09:05Five years.
09:06Five whole years.
09:07My body could make a clean break.
09:09My heart couldn't pull free that fast.
09:12I don't know how long it took.
09:14Eventually,
09:15I flagged down a cab
09:15and headed to a hotel near work.
09:17Until I left the country,
09:18that's where I'd stay.
09:21While I waited for my visa,
09:22I had to close out the project
09:24I'd been leading for almost two years.
09:27My personal life was already a wreck.
09:30My career wasn't going to be.
09:31I buried myself in overtime,
09:33kept myself slammed,
09:35partly to speed things up,
09:36partly so I wouldn't have time to think.
09:38As long as I was busy,
09:39I couldn't dwell on anything else.
09:41Maybe it was the toll on my body and nerves.
09:44Lately,
09:44I'd been constantly tired,
09:46constantly nauseous.
09:47My boss reminded me to pull it together.
09:49The client was coming a sting in this afternoon
09:51to finalize the contract.
09:54At the head of the table sat someone I knew.
09:56Julian,
09:57in a sharp suit,
09:58and beside him,
09:59in a cinched waist,
10:01backless cocktail dress,
10:02sat Poppy.
10:03My nails dug into my palms
10:05before I could stop them.
10:06My boss thought I had nerves
10:08and whispered,
10:09Relax,
10:09the proposal and the designs
10:10have already been signed off
10:11by their project lead.
10:12These two are just bored
10:13trust fund babies
10:14playing at being adults.
10:15Smile through it,
10:16humor the rich kids,
10:16and we're done.
10:17Just give them your usual pitch.
10:20I drew a breath.
10:21I forced on a smile.
10:22I opened the deck
10:23and walked them through my design vision.
10:25Smooth, composed,
10:26point by point.
10:26Poppy propped her chin in her hand,
10:28nodding along all smiles
10:29under the table.
10:30My boss flashed me
10:31a discreet thumbs up.
10:33I exhaled,
10:34reading the room.
10:35Someone slid the contract
10:36across the table.
10:37Hmm,
10:37it's not doing it for me.
10:38The design's so boring.
10:40It gives me a headache
10:41just looking at it.
10:43I don't think I want a sign.
10:44The smile froze on my boss's face.
10:47I kept mine polite.
10:49Is there a specific element
10:50you're not happy with?
10:51Poppy didn't even glance
10:52at the contract.
10:53She held up her hand,
10:55admiring her fresh manicure.
10:56Hard to say.
10:57It's more of a feeling.
10:59Then she hooked her arm
11:00through Julian's.
11:01What do you think?
11:02Every eye in the room
11:03turned to him.
11:04Julian's eyes landed on me.
11:05On instinct,
11:07I looked away.
11:08Sounds like your project lead
11:09doesn't have much faith
11:10in her own work either.
11:11I'm suddenly losing interest
11:12in this investment.
11:14Pulling out.
11:16Oh, and just so you know,
11:17I've already authorized
11:19my people to begin
11:20a hostile takeover
11:21of your company.
11:22Congratulations, Claire.
11:23You'll be working for me
11:25very soon.
11:26Two years on this account.
11:27A thousand discarded drafts.
11:29I'd lost count of the nights
11:30I'd spent at my desk
11:31to get here.
11:32We were finally about to land.
11:33This was supposed to be
11:34the showcase project,
11:35the perfect closing chapter
11:36on this stage of my career.
11:38One careless sentence from him,
11:39and it was all stillborn.
11:40Back at the office,
11:42my boss came tearing in,
11:43white as a shield,
11:45shaking from head to toe.
11:47He was practically sobbing.
11:49Claire, he will destroy
11:50the whole firm.
11:51Please, just go apologize.
11:55It wasn't that I didn't
11:56want to save the project.
11:58It was that I knew exactly
12:00who Poppy was actually here for.
12:03The only way this project survived
12:05was if I disappeared.
12:09I just hadn't expected
12:10the one thing tying me
12:11to this city would get
12:12torn apart this fast.
12:13The wave of nauseous hit again.
12:15I stumbled out of the office.
12:17Julian, still here?
12:19His hands started wandering somewhere.
12:21It had no business going.
12:23I bit down on him
12:24with everything I had.
12:25The taste of blood
12:26bloomed thick between our mouths.
12:29Get out!
12:31Julian stood there,
12:32his expression unreadable.
12:38Claire,
12:39after all this time,
12:41why haven't you learned?
12:42I tried to twist away.
12:43The harder I fought,
12:44the tighter he held me.
12:47If you'd just apologized
12:48for what happened last time,
12:52none of this would be
12:53happening today.
12:57How hard is it
12:58to lower your head
12:59just once?
13:01Julian's voice was softer
13:02than any sweet nothing
13:03he'd ever whispered in my ear,
13:04but I was shaking anyway.
13:06Not from the cold,
13:07from a cramp
13:08tearing through my stomach.
13:09An eerie, sinking,
13:11dragging down feeling.
13:13Something was rushing out of me.
13:15A ridiculous thought
13:17surfaced in my mind.
13:18I tried to look down.
13:20Julian's grip on my chin
13:21held me in place.
13:23All I could do
13:24was bite my lip
13:25and hold on.
13:27Something warm
13:27slipped down my thigh.
13:29Dripping onto the carpet,
13:31Julian noticed.
13:39Claire, you...
13:41My head went blank.
13:45Everything blacked out.
13:47I couldn't hold myself up anymore.
13:49My whole body just folded.
13:56I had a long, long dream.
14:00I dreamed of the college campus.
14:05The first time I met Julian,
14:08leaning against a railing,
14:10bending down,
14:11to ask me a question.
14:15Hi.
14:17What's your name?
14:20I just looked at him.
14:21I didn't say a word.
14:24Ever since high school,
14:25since my best friend
14:26cracked under the pressure,
14:28jumped from the dorm roof,
14:29and shattered on the pavement
14:30right in front of me,
14:32I didn't talk much.
14:34Then my father died too.
14:35A lab accident.
14:39Two devastating blows
14:40in two years.
14:41I was diagnosed
14:42with moderate depression.
14:44To the other kids,
14:46to the teachers,
14:47I was the weird one.
14:48I ignored Julian,
14:50figuring he'd hit a wall
14:51and lose interest
14:51like everyone else.
14:53After all,
14:53the whole school
14:54said the same thing about him.
14:55He had no patience.
14:57But Julian kept asking
14:58for three solid years.
15:00He was like a shadow.
15:01Every place I went,
15:02he was there.
15:03The library,
15:04the lecture halls,
15:05the auditorium,
15:06every competition,
15:07every charity drive,
15:08pulling books down
15:08from the top shelf for me,
15:09holding an umbrella
15:10out to me in the rain,
15:12being the first to clap
15:12after my stumbling speech,
15:14handing me the first bouquet
15:15on stage.
15:16He got nothing back.
15:17He waited anyway.
15:18Until,
15:19finally,
15:19I spoke.
15:20Claire.
15:22Beautiful name.
15:26I started talking more.
15:28My therapy scores
15:29started climbing.
15:33Back then,
15:35Julian was the antidote
15:36to the nightmare.
15:40He dragged me out
15:41of the dark.
15:43Told me that as long
15:44as he was with me,
15:45everything would be okay.
15:48I dreamed of our first kiss.
15:51The first time
15:52he held my hand.
15:53I dreamed of him
15:54bringing me home
15:54and the look
15:55his parents gave me.
15:57The screaming match
15:58in the study.
16:00Have your fun outside!
16:01Fine!
16:02But what the hell
16:03were you thinking
16:04bringing her into this house?
16:07Haven't you embarrassed
16:08us enough?
16:10Julian.
16:11Did you forget
16:11the clause on your trust fund?
16:13If you don't marry
16:14Poppy Aster,
16:15you lose your seat
16:16on the board!
16:17Destroy the alliance
16:19between our families!
16:20That was the day
16:20I learned the truth
16:21about Julian and Poppy's
16:22childhood sweetheart story.
16:24They were bound together
16:25by family trust funds
16:27and a corporate alliance
16:28woven in deep.
16:29No,
16:30it wasn't some
16:30ancient arranged marriage.
16:32But the two families' interests
16:33were tangled together
16:34at the roots.
16:35When it came to
16:36who their kids married,
16:37only one answer
16:38was acceptable.
16:39Each other.
16:39That day,
16:40Julian and his father
16:41tore the study apart.
16:42He smashed
16:43two priceless vases.
16:44The next morning,
16:45all his credit cards
16:46were cut off.
16:47He took me by the hand
16:48and moved out.
16:48A quiet act of defiance.
16:50I dreamed of
16:51the hardest stretch.
16:52Cramped together
16:53in a tiny rental,
16:54holding each other,
16:55dreaming out loud
16:56about the future.
16:57I had a dream.
16:58We had a baby.
16:59I asked him
17:00what the baby looked like.
17:01A little girl
17:02just like you.
17:03A little girl
17:04just like me.
17:05A baby.
17:05A wave of pure panic
17:07hit me.
17:07I shot upright in bed
17:09at the sharp bite
17:10of disinfectant.
17:11A white ceiling.
17:13I turned my head.
17:15There was mom.
17:16Her eyes were red.
17:18Her hand was wrapped
17:19tight around mine.
17:21Claire,
17:23do you want to cry?
17:25Cry.
17:26Let it out.
17:28Don't keep it in.
17:30Okay?
17:32This was the second time
17:34I'd seen that look
17:35in my mother's eyes.
17:36The first was when
17:37I'd slit my wrists
17:38in the depths of my depression.
17:43The time she'd almost
17:44lost her only child.
17:47And now this.
17:49I looked down.
17:51My belly hadn't changed.
17:54It just felt empty.
17:59There had been a life
18:00inside me
18:02and it had left
18:04before I even knew
18:05it was there.
18:06My hand drifted
18:07to where it had been.
18:08The place that no longer
18:09held any sign of life.
18:11And I tried to take
18:12in the truth.
18:13Out of the corner
18:14of my eye,
18:15I could see my boss
18:16through the window
18:17of the hospital room.
18:20I had collapsed
18:21in Julian's arms.
18:25I remembered hearing
18:26his pulse
18:27bammering in panic.
18:30Remembered him
18:31for once
18:31losing control,
18:33shouting.
18:34Help somebody!
18:36And then,
18:36a second later,
18:37his phone going off
18:38like a death knell.
18:40It was Poppy,
18:41crying,
18:42terrified.
18:43It hurts.
18:44It hurts so much.
18:47Julian,
18:47I think I'm dying.
18:50Then my boss
18:51had rushed in
18:51and it was him
18:52who'd taken me
18:53to the hospital.
18:55I had a pretty good guess
18:57what Julian
18:57had told him to say.
19:01Mr. Blackwood says
19:02if you'd just be willing
19:04to apologize
19:04to Ms. Astra.
19:05The project goes forward.
19:07Two years of the team's work
19:09doesn't go to waste.
19:11And the firm's future
19:12doesn't have to be
19:13a question mark either.
19:14The Blackwoods can offer
19:15whatever support we need.
19:19My nails sank
19:20into my palm.
19:21The wound
19:22that had just been bandaged
19:23tore open.
19:25I bit down on my lip,
19:27using the pain
19:28to hold back
19:28the storm
19:29rising inside me.
19:30To someone like Julian,
19:33born with everything,
19:34projects and achievements
19:35were small change.
19:36Things he could turn on
19:37or off with a word.
19:38Things he could hand out
19:39as party favors.
19:40Two years of mine
19:41bled out onto paper.
19:43To him,
19:43just a chip on the table.
19:45If he wasn't happy,
19:46he swept it back.
19:48And if I learned my lesson,
19:50he'd give me twice as much.
19:52The taste of blood
19:53filled my mouth.
19:54I swallowed it down
19:56and managed a smile
19:57for my boss.
19:58I'm sorry.
19:59I don't think
20:00I can do that anymore.
20:01Apologize to the rest
20:02of the team for me.
20:03They worked two years
20:04on this.
20:05If it weren't for me,
20:06maybe they wouldn't have
20:07gotten this unlucky.
20:08Forced to watch
20:09their project collapse,
20:10my boss didn't try
20:11to argue.
20:12He just nodded.
20:16Claire,
20:18you and Mr. Blackwood,
20:19is there some kind
20:20of personal history?
20:22I'm just curious.
20:23Why is he...
20:25Why is he doing this to me?
20:27If I were younger,
20:28maybe I'd want to fight it out?
20:30Want someone else to weigh in
20:31on who was right
20:32and who was wrong?
20:35But now,
20:36none of it seemed
20:37worth the breath.
20:39That was a long time ago.
20:41Going forward,
20:42there's nothing between us.
20:44After my boss left,
20:45I looked at my mother.
20:47There was so much
20:48I hadn't gotten to explain.
20:50I figured she'd have
20:51a thousand questions.
20:53But she just sat there
20:54looking at me.
20:55Quiet,
20:56for a long time.
20:58Until finally she spoke.
21:00She didn't ask
21:01why I'd suddenly cancelled
21:02the honeymoon
21:02to fly to London.
21:04Didn't ask about the baby,
21:05about Julian.
21:07About Poppy.
21:09Will you regret it?
21:11Will you regret
21:12walking away
21:13from the one thing
21:13that ever saved you?
21:15Going to a place
21:16where you may never
21:16see him again?
21:17I thought about it.
21:19I shook my head.
21:20Mom,
21:21the Julian I knew
21:22doesn't exist anymore.
21:24I don't want to spend
21:24my whole life
21:25living in the past.
21:27Mom wanted me
21:28to stay home a while
21:29and recover.
21:30I shook my head.
21:34I left on the original date,
21:36exactly as planned.
21:37The same date
21:38Julian and I
21:39were supposed to fly out
21:40for our honeymoon.
21:45just before I boarded,
21:47I turned and looked
21:48one last time
21:49at the country
21:51I'd planned
21:51to put down
21:52roots in forever.
21:58The moment we landed,
22:00there was someone
22:01waiting for us.
22:06Two years ago,
22:08a research lab abroad
22:09had invited Mom
22:10to come to London
22:11and work on something
22:12she'd been dying to pursue.
22:14She turned it down.
22:16She hadn't wanted
22:17to leave me alone
22:18in America.
22:20Mom had always carried
22:21gil for my childhood.
22:22She and Dad
22:23had been buried
22:24in their research.
22:25They'd missed so much
22:26of me growing up.
22:28Then Dad died
22:29in that lab accident.
22:30I unraveled.
22:32For a while,
22:33I hated everything
22:34they'd ever cared about.
22:35Mom couldn't get out
22:37from under it either.
22:38Not for a long time.
22:41Now,
22:42watching her laugh
22:43and trade ideas
22:43with the people
22:44who'd brought her here.
22:46The stone that had been
22:47crushing my chest
22:48loosened a little.
22:49People have to keep
22:50moving forward.
22:51Mom threw herself
22:53into her new work
22:54right away.
22:55Me,
22:55she ordered to rest.
22:57The miscarriage
22:58had been driven more
22:59by emotional collapse
23:00than anything physical.
23:02My body healed up.
23:03My mood didn't bounce back
23:04nearly as fast.
23:06I rested,
23:06but I also started
23:07learning the culture,
23:08laying groundwork
23:09for life here.
23:10When I came across
23:11something fun,
23:12I wanted to snap
23:13a photo for Instagram.
23:14Instead,
23:15I saw Julian's face first.
23:17The post was from Sophie,
23:18his friend's girlfriend,
23:19someone I'd added
23:20at a party once.
23:24The caption,
23:25this is how couples
23:26spend the summer
23:27glued together.
23:28The picture was
23:30the whole group
23:30on a tropical vacation
23:31with their partners,
23:32and next to Julian,
23:34in a bikini,
23:34was Poppy.
23:35I stared at it.
23:36There was a flicker.
23:38Then nothing.
23:38None of the old turmoil.
23:40I even calmly
23:41tapped like.
23:42Two minutes later,
23:43Sophie called.
23:44She sounded awkward.
23:46Claire,
23:47don't get the wrong idea,
23:48okay?
23:49I just copied the caption
23:50off some random post.
23:51I didn't double check
23:52the photo before I posted.
23:53but that's not
23:54what I meant at all.
23:58I answered her,
24:00even.
24:01It's fine.
24:03I didn't really
24:04want to talk.
24:05But Sophie was off
24:06to the races.
24:08Claire,
24:09did you and Julian
24:09have a fight?
24:10Because honestly,
24:11I can tell he still cares.
24:13He's been hanging out
24:13with us,
24:14but his mood's been
24:15in the gutter all week.
24:16He keeps zoning out,
24:17staring at his phone,
24:18like he's waiting
24:19for someone to text.
24:20Poppy's been all over him
24:21a couple of times,
24:22and he didn't even register.
24:23I knew exactly
24:24what she was getting at.
24:25Apart from me,
24:26she and the other girls
24:27had their own issues
24:28with Poppy,
24:29the eternal princess
24:29of the friend group.
24:30But none of that
24:31was my problem anymore.
24:32I made some excuse
24:33to end the call,
24:34then went through
24:34my contacts one more time,
24:36deleting anyone
24:37connected to Julian.
24:38I thought that would
24:39be the end of it.
24:40I missed one thing.
24:44My mom's contacts.
24:46A week later,
24:47the trip ended,
24:48and my mother's phone
24:49lit up with an incoming call,
24:51Mrs. Blackwood.
24:53Mom was in the kitchen,
24:54pulling an apple pie
24:55out of the oven.
24:58I took the phone out
24:59to the balcony
25:00and answered.
25:01The Blackwoods
25:02had let the wedding happen,
25:03but I knew they'd
25:04never wanted me.
25:07Not really.
25:09My mother had been
25:10the one paying for that
25:11in silence.
25:12I didn't give the other end
25:13a chance to start.
25:17This is Claire.
25:19Julian and I are over.
25:20You don't have to worry
25:22about me ruining
25:22the alliance
25:23between the Blackwoods
25:24and the Astras.
25:25And you don't have to
25:26keep pretending
25:26to accept a daughter-in-law
25:28you never wanted.
25:29Julian and I will have
25:30nothing to do with each other
25:32from this point on.
25:34Please stop calling.
25:35I thought about how arrogant
25:37they'd been before.
25:39The way they'd looked down
25:40on my mother
25:41for being just a researcher.
25:43so I added
25:44one more line.
25:46For the record
25:48I dumped him.
25:49The breathing
25:50on the other end
25:51went heavy.
25:51Whoever it was
25:52I'd hit a nerve.
25:55Claire,
25:56what did you just say?
25:57I said,
25:58Julian,
25:59from now on
26:00there is nothing
26:01between us.
26:02Don't call,
26:03don't come looking for me
26:04and don't touch anyone
26:05in my life.
26:05I didn't wait
26:06for him to answer.
26:07I hung up.
26:08Then I went through
26:09mum's contacts
26:10and scrubbed every Blackwood
26:11from her phone too.
26:13Life here turned out
26:14to be much easier
26:15to adjust to
26:16than I'd expected.
26:17I studied.
26:18I sent out resumes.
26:20I'd been bracing
26:21for a string of rejections.
26:23Instead,
26:23everything fell into place
26:24on the first interview.
26:25The interviewer
26:26was an American expat too.
26:28We hit it off.
26:29He walked me down
26:30to the lobby himself.
26:31Outside,
26:32I was humming as I walked,
26:33light on my feet,
26:34thinking about whether
26:35to take the long way home
26:36just to swing by
26:37that macaron place
26:38everyone raved about.
26:40I turned to leave.
26:41Julian closed the gap
26:43in two strides
26:44and caught my hand.
26:45Claire,
26:46this is your reaction,
26:48seeing me?
26:49Two weeks,
26:51nothing,
26:51no texts,
26:53my numbers blocked,
26:54every social account wiped.
26:56You vanish
26:57and everything you own.
26:59And the second I reach you,
27:01it's we're done.
27:01Then you sneak off
27:02to another country.
27:04Do you have any idea
27:05what you've done?
27:06You had to push me to this.
27:07Drop everything.
27:08Fly across an ocean.
27:09Beg in the street.
27:11Is this what it takes
27:12to satisfy you?
27:13Even now,
27:14Julian still thought
27:15I was throwing a tantrum.
27:16He thought I should be grateful
27:18that he'd shown up.
27:19Suddenly,
27:20it just hit me as absurd.
27:23Julian,
27:24don't flatter yourself.
27:27I told you
27:28we were done
27:28a long time ago.
27:30We've been over
27:31for a long time.
27:33You ran an illegal search
27:34on me
27:34to track me
27:35to this country.
27:37I can call the police.
27:39Do you understand?
27:41I warned him
27:42to let go.
27:44The fact that
27:45I didn't even care anymore
27:46set him off.
27:47His drive scraped
27:48my mouth,
27:49my ear,
27:51like he was punishing
27:52me for leaving.
27:53Claire,
27:55you don't get
27:56to make this call.
27:57I didn't agree to it.
27:59I fought back.
28:02Julian,
28:03did you forget
28:04there's nothing legal
28:05binding us?
28:06A breakup
28:07only takes one person.
28:12Let go
28:13or I'm calling...
28:16The interviewer
28:17was back.
28:19He pinned Julian's shoulder
28:20and passersby
28:22came over to help.
28:23Miss,
28:24do you want us
28:25to call the police
28:25for you?
28:25under Julian's shocked eyes.
28:28I nodded.
28:30During the statement,
28:32Julian never took his eyes off me.
28:34They went from disbelief
28:36to confusion
28:37to incomprehensence
28:39to pain.
28:40He seemed to finally understand.
28:43this time
28:44was different.
28:46Claire,
28:49you're really
28:50going to leave me here alone?
28:55I looked at him.
28:57I shook my head.
29:00As that flicker of hope
29:02rose in his face,
29:03I opened my phone,
29:04snapped a picture,
29:05and sent it
29:07with the address
29:08straight to Poppy.
29:14Someone had to bail him out
29:15and take him home.
29:18Before I could block Poppy again,
29:20her call came through.
29:22Claire,
29:22you scheming little bitch.
29:24You think this is going to
29:25get under my skin?
29:26You think you're winning?
29:27Listen to me.
29:28So what if he's there
29:29with you right now?
29:30We're childhood sweethearts.
29:31Our family's alliance
29:32is ironclad.
29:34Julian's lost his head
29:35for a minute,
29:35but he'll dump you eventually.
29:37You two never registered,
29:39believe me.
29:39As long as I'm around,
29:40you will never be legal.
29:42Not in this lifetime.
29:44You want to fight me?
29:45You're going to lose.
29:49Poppy had gotten
29:50the wrong end of it.
29:51She was screaming at me.
29:52Shut up!
29:59Claire,
30:00come back with me.
30:03We'll file the paperwork.
30:05Today.
30:06Even then,
30:07he was still finding ways
30:09to defend her.
30:11Don't take what she said to heart.
30:14Poppy...
30:16Poppy's having an episode.
30:18I looked at him.
30:20I shook my head,
30:22slowly.
30:23That's only with you.
30:24Around me,
30:25Poppy has always been
30:26exactly like that.
30:28and Julian,
30:30I'm so glad
30:30we never filed.
30:31Go home.
30:32Don't ever let me see you again.
30:40Poppy got there fast.
30:41The next morning,
30:42word came that Julian
30:43had been bailed out,
30:44but she couldn't drag him back.
30:46Julian became the same kind of shadow
30:48he'd been to me in college.
30:50Wherever I went,
30:51he stayed at a careful distance.
30:52Only this time,
30:54Poppy was the new tale.
30:55When she realized
30:56she couldn't get him on a plane,
30:57she escalated.
30:59She started pressuring him
31:00through his parents,
31:01through the family.
31:02Julian,
31:03your mom called again last night.
31:05She wants to know
31:05when we're coming home.
31:07She hasn't been feeling well.
31:08She's having nightmares.
31:10She can't sleep without seeing you.
31:11And your dad's board is in chaos.
31:14The other shareholders
31:15are getting restless.
31:16They all heard
31:17you got arrested overseas.
31:18Everyone's freaking out.
31:19If you don't get home soon,
31:21someone's going to make a move on you.
31:23Julian seemed almost convinced.
31:25Then a second later,
31:26he turned thoughtful.
31:28So let them all move to England.
31:30Poppy froze.
31:33What?
31:34They can do business over here,
31:36set up investments,
31:37makes it easier
31:38to get the visas to relocate.
31:40Are you out of your mind?
31:41You're going to move
31:42your whole family across the world?
31:44For Claire?
31:45Your parents are going to lose it!
31:47Pressure tactics weren't working.
31:48Poppy switched gears.
31:50She started getting
31:51her and her outfits
31:53custom made
31:53to match Julian's.
31:55Hung off him.
31:56Played up the cute act.
31:58Caught colds.
31:59Sprained ankles.
32:00Got drunk a lot.
32:02Needed Julian to keep her upright.
32:04Then tried to climb him
32:05like a koala.
32:06Every time she put on
32:07one of these
32:07too much for friends
32:08physical displays,
32:09she'd shoot me
32:10a sideways look.
32:11I recognized
32:12that silent message.
32:13It said,
32:14See?
32:14He's mine.
32:15I saw it.
32:16I thought it was funny.
32:16She thought I was
32:18playing hard to get.
32:19She had no idea.
32:20I'd already given Julian away.
32:22And besides,
32:24Julian was starting
32:25to pull away.
32:26He wasn't bending
32:27to Poppy anymore.
32:28He flinched
32:29when she crowded in.
32:31He shrugged off her arm
32:32whenever she hooked it
32:33through his.
32:34He kept two spapers
32:35of distance.
32:36Always.
32:36Sometimes he zoned out
32:38and his hand reflexively
32:40took whatever
32:40she handed him.
32:41A second later,
32:43his eyes would find me.
32:44His expression
32:45would shut down
32:46and he'd dump it
32:47in the trash.
32:49If you can't finish
32:50a drink,
32:50throw it out.
32:52What are you
32:53handing it to me for?
32:54I'm not your trash can.
32:57The third time
32:58she fake fainted
32:59and Julian sidestepped her.
33:02Poppy lost it.
33:05She went straight
33:06to the nuclear option,
33:07the anxiety attack.
33:10Julian,
33:10I am at it!
33:12I'm trash!
33:13Okay?
33:14I came all the way
33:16out here to chase you
33:17and you,
33:17you can't even see me!
33:20If you hate me this much,
33:22then I'll just die!
33:23I'll die
33:24and you'll all be happy!
33:28Claire!
33:29You'll be happy!
33:31Then Poppy committed.
33:33This time,
33:35Julian didn't run
33:36to stop her.
33:37He just stood there.
33:41His eyes didn't move.
33:43His cold gaze
33:44landed on her fingers,
33:46white-knuckled
33:46around the rambling.
33:47Poppy hadn't expected this.
33:49She froze.
33:50She couldn't climb back over.
33:52She couldn't jump.
33:53Passers-by were staring
33:55at her stunt.
33:56She bit her lip.
33:57For the first time
33:58in her life,
33:58she felt humiliated.
34:00Julian,
34:02if I die
34:03right in front of you,
34:04you really wouldn't care.
34:06His answer shattered
34:07the last of her fantasy.
34:09Your condition,
34:11it's cured now.
34:14Days of being ignored.
34:16Days of cold shoulders.
34:17And now this question,
34:19frozen over.
34:22Caught out,
34:23Poppy snapped.
34:31poppy's eyes landed on the pill bottle
34:34that had rolled out.
34:35Julian.
34:39Look.
34:40Look what this is.
34:42Seracitine antidepressants.
34:43Why would she be carrying this around?
34:45You've been following her
34:46like a puppy.
34:47And you don't even realize
34:49how unstable she is.
34:51She's insane.
34:52She gets out of the country
34:54and immediately finds another man.
34:57And now she's medicating
34:59to keep it together.
35:01Julian froze.
35:04He stared at the antidepressants,
35:06his throat working violently,
35:09struggling to breathe.
35:17I didn't dodge.
35:19I took the bottle
35:20right out of Poppy's hand.
35:22It's mine.
35:23I wasn't planning
35:24to explain anything to Julian.
35:26The faster he gave up
35:27and walked away, the better.
35:29But Poppy wasn't done with me.
35:30Wow, Claire.
35:31Look at you.
35:32Total psycho.
35:33Get on a plane
35:34and you're sleeping with strangers.
35:36Bet you did plenty of that
35:37back home, too.
35:39Julian just wasn't
35:40there to catch you.
35:42The smug look on her face,
35:43like she'd finally
35:44caught me in something.
35:45I suddenly didn't feel
35:46like letting this end
35:47so easily.
35:48Remember?
35:49You said you dreamed
35:50about our baby.
35:52As his confused,
35:53bewildered eyes met mine,
35:55I rested my hand
35:56on my stomach.
35:57She was real,
35:58but she's dead now.
36:00She died.
36:01The day you killed
36:02my project.
36:03Julian,
36:04you remember,
36:05don't you?
36:07You were in that
36:08conference room with me.
36:10You watched it happen.
36:12And this?
36:13This is what my therapist
36:15put me on after.
36:16He said I'd need it.
36:18After losing my child,
36:20Julian's pupils blew open.
36:24He must have remembered
36:26the blood on the inside
36:27of my legs
36:27and the call
36:28that had pulled him away.
36:30His whole body
36:31started trembling.
36:33His lips parted,
36:34but no sound came out.
36:36It took a long time
36:38before Julian
36:38found his voice.
36:40Claire,
36:42I didn't know.
36:43I'm sorry.
36:44I didn't know.
36:45It's my fault.
36:46What do I have to do to...
36:47He couldn't get
36:48to be forgiven.
36:51But I gave him a chance.
36:53Julian,
36:55I have a wish.
36:57I've always believed
36:58that people who love
36:59each other
36:59should be together forever.
37:01Poppy thought I was
37:02about to take him back.
37:03The color drained
37:04from her face.
37:05Then I turned the line.
37:07So I want the Blackwood
37:08Astana lion
37:09to last forever.
37:10And I want you
37:11and Poppy
37:12to grow old together.
37:14Something in Julian's eyes broke.
37:16He stood there,
37:17frozen like a statue.
37:19I turned around.
37:20I didn't look back.
37:23This time,
37:24Poppy got him
37:26on the plane home.
37:28What happened next?
37:30I heard from Sophie.
37:33I'd unfollowed her,
37:35but she couldn't help herself.
37:37She added me back
37:38to spill gossip.
37:39Julian agreed to marry Poppy.
37:43According to Sophie,
37:45once he got home,
37:47Julian was a different person.
37:51He moved straight
37:52into a flash wedding.
37:54His parents were over the moon,
37:55thinking the two empires
37:58were finally fusing.
38:02They had no idea.
38:04This was the beginning
38:05of the nightmare.
38:07On the wedding day,
38:09Julian was two hours late.
38:11He didn't wear the suit
38:13they'd had tailored.
38:15He showed up
38:16still wearing
38:17the wedding ring from me.
38:20He made it to the altar.
38:23But he humiliated
38:24the asters
38:25in front of every guest.
38:28And you know what?
38:30Poppy didn't have a meltdown.
38:32She got through
38:33the whole ceremony.
38:35The Blackwoods
38:36had put the wedding
38:37together themselves
38:38and invited
38:39every press outlet
38:40they knew.
38:44They tried to pay it down later,
38:46contain the damage,
38:48but somebody leaked everything.
38:51By that night,
38:53the scandal was everywhere.
38:56Then,
38:57it got crazier.
38:59Julian disappeared
39:00on the wedding night.
39:03Poppy spent it alone.
39:06He spent it
39:07in our old
39:08East Valley rental.
39:10The one we used to share.
39:13By dawn,
39:15he was spotted
39:16at a charity
39:17for miscarriages
39:18and infant loss,
39:20making a massive
39:21public donation
39:22in my name.
39:27I'm doing this
39:28in honor
39:30of my child.
39:31Strangers had no idea
39:33what to make of it.
39:35Paired with the wedding chaos,
39:38the rumor became
39:39secret love child.
39:41Nobody else knew
39:43what was going on.
39:44Poppy knew exactly
39:45who he was mourning.
39:46She couldn't take
39:47the public humiliation.
39:50She marched
39:51straight to him
39:52to confront him.
39:54And guess what happened?
39:56Sophie almost laughed
39:57out loud.
39:59Julian had her
40:00thrown out.
40:01He went public,
40:03said this guilt
40:04was on her too.
40:05They were going
40:06to have
40:06pwned together.
40:12He didn't stop there.
40:14Julian sold off
40:16every joint business
40:17the families
40:18had merged
40:18at fire sale prices.
40:21He donated
40:22all of it
40:23to that same charity.
40:25When Poppy found out,
40:27she completely snapped.
40:29She swore she'd destroy
40:31whatever Julian
40:32still cared about.
40:33So she anonymously
40:34fed page six
40:35a string of
40:36fabricated stories
40:38about my
40:38wild lifestyle
40:39overseas.
40:41Thank God.
40:45Julian caught it
40:46in time,
40:47killed the story
40:48publicly
40:49and stopped
40:49it from spreading.
40:53The Astors
40:54had already been
40:55simmering over
40:56Julian's behavior,
40:57but out of respect
40:58for decades
40:59of family ties.
41:01And with the
41:02Blackwoods running
41:03interference,
41:04they'd held back.
41:06This time,
41:07somebody could have
41:08gotten hurt.
41:09nobody could sit
41:10on their hands
41:11anymore.
41:13The Astors
41:14demanded an
41:15explanation from
41:16the Blackwoods
41:17and reparations
41:18for Poppy.
41:19The Blackwoods
41:19demanded the Astors
41:20hand Poppy over,
41:22calling her a
41:22malicious slanderer
41:24who'd nearly
41:25destroyed their
41:25only son.
41:26A friendship
41:27between two
41:28dynasties
41:29lasting decades
41:30done
41:31over.
41:33Claire,
41:35honestly,
41:36I always admired
41:38you.
41:39All those years,
41:41they treated
41:42Poppy like
41:42a princess.
41:44You were the
41:45only one
41:46who ever
41:47pushed back.
41:48The rest of us,
41:50we were too
41:51gutless.
41:52Now that she's
41:53fallen,
41:56I've thought about
41:57it for real.
41:58I'm not just
41:59calling for the
42:00gossip.
42:01I wanted to
42:02tell you
42:05I broke up
42:06with him too.
42:09The next time
42:10I saw Julian,
42:11it was winter.
42:13I was on my
42:14way out
42:15to build a
42:16snowman.
42:17There he was,
42:18standing outside
42:20my gate.
42:22It took him
42:23a long time
42:23to speak.
42:25Claire,
42:26I couldn't
42:27grant your wish.
42:28I got the
42:29divorce.
42:30I'm married.
42:31Right then
42:32the door
42:32behind me
42:33opened.
42:34A man
42:35much broader
42:36and taller
42:36than Julia
42:37stepped out,
42:38a warm
42:38cashmere
42:39coat in
42:39his hand.
42:41Claire,
42:42it's freezing
42:43out here.
42:44Why aren't
42:45you wearing
42:45a coat?
42:46He wrapped
42:46the coat
42:47around me,
42:48without
42:48leaving room
42:49for argument.
42:50His arm
42:51locked around
42:52my waist
42:52like an
42:53iron band
42:54and pulled
42:55me into
42:56him.
43:01get off
43:02my
43:02property
43:04before I
43:04call the
43:05cops.
43:05Julian.
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