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  • 1 week ago
Unless you're deeply committed to the no-strings-attached life (or one of those mythical people who marries their high-school sweetheart), chances are you've experienced a breakup at some point in your life. It's a memorable feeling, after all, and usually one that culminates in a queasy, liberating mix of heartbreak, freedom, dating-app exploration, and just a hint of social media stalking.

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Transcript
00:00I have to do this for me, and it's time to start thinking for myself, and I care about you,
00:06but I honestly, I just, I need to do this.
00:24He's really gone. I can't believe it. Why am I not crying?
00:30I must be in shock. Or maybe I'm just not that sad?
00:34No, it's gotta be shock.
00:36Well, everyone in here definitely heard that whole tearful breakup and are now trying to pretend they haven't been eavesdropping.
00:41Man, I can never come back to this coffee shop now.
00:44It will forever be the coffee shop we broke up in.
00:48That sucks. It's such good brownies.
00:51I should buy a brownie.
00:52That's what people do when they break up with possibly the one person they will ever have the capacity to
00:57love.
00:58Oh, God. I'm never gonna kiss him again. Oh, my God. That's so sad.
01:05Then again, I am also never gonna have to touch that weird skin tag thing on his back again.
01:10And now, I can date anyone.
01:12I could date that guy.
01:16Or that guy.
01:20Or hell, that girl.
01:22Well, okay. Probably not her.
01:24She probably wants a baby.
01:26I cannot take on that kind of responsibility.
01:28I can't even take on the responsibility of watching The Wire.
01:32Oh, and I left the DVDs at his place.
01:34How long is the right amount of time to wait before re-downloading Tinder?
01:39Oh, my God.
01:41I met him on Tinder.
01:44This was our first conversation.
01:47Maybe I should just click on him to see if he's already on Tinder again?
01:56Can I order a brownie, please?
02:01What?
02:02Okay, so let's do that.
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