00:00It's the more you've got a bullet free, the tighter it gets.
00:03Right, Barlow. Having trouble with your laces?
00:06He's got a knot in him, if you must know.
00:09Who's that?
00:10Oh, it's Simon Barlow. He goes to my school.
00:12His mum still ties his laces.
00:14Shut up.
00:17Ever tried Velcro?
00:20If you don't tie your laces properly before...
00:24Don't let him get gold side of your side. Drop back. Come on.
00:27Come on.
00:29My children.
00:31At the end of the day, one team wears a green jersey and wears blue.
00:36You think about all those mega-stars,
00:38none of whom have any connection at all to the cities they're representing.
00:42Cal-Cal, left-channel!
00:47It's always that way, of course.
00:50Tom Finney was born in Preston.
00:52Who did he choose to play for?
00:53Yeah, well, if Tom Finney was playing today, he'd be playing for Real Madrid,
00:57he'd be a Galactico with loads of products in his hair.
00:59Yeah, well, he wasn't averse to a spot of brill cream, even then.
01:03Some things never change.
01:04Come on, Si! Get stuck in, lad!
01:09Oh, Tom!
01:10I've all had sports halls, et cetera, et cetera.
01:12How are you?
01:14Yeah, back then, all right?
01:15What are you doing here?
01:16Oh, I'm just watching me lad play, er, number 12, Simon Barlow.
01:19Oh, mine's number six, Jordan.
01:24Oh!
01:25You never mentioned a son.
01:27Well, I did you.
01:29So, what about his mum?
01:32Separated.
01:32You?
01:34Oh, er...
01:35Divorced.
01:36What?
01:40Your mum's playing at a kids' football match.
01:42Can she sink any lower?
01:45Don't let him get away from your side, Steve.
01:47All sides are better than that.
01:49You only got picked if your mum's knocking off the couch.
01:52Could her skirt be any shorter, by the way.
01:59Referee, keep your eye on number 12.
02:01You do your job and I'll do mine.
02:02I wish you would.
02:04Why don't you put a blue shirt on and have done with it?
02:11This is all rather unseen, mate.
02:14Are you keeping count, ref?
02:15Cos that's three.
02:16I've got three.
02:16Why don't you keep it shut?
02:18You know what that is, mate?
02:20Fancy dress.
02:20One more word from you and you're off.
02:22What are you going to do?
02:23Send me to the stands?
02:24Just watch the game, pal, yeah?
02:25You stay out of it.
02:31What did I tell you? Number 12.
02:34Get up!
02:34Is that Simon?
02:36Get up!
02:37Get up!
02:38Get up!
02:39You all right?
02:40You deserve that.
02:47Is he okay?
02:48I don't know.
02:50It's all right.
02:51There was an accident.
02:52I went for the ball.
02:53Liar.
02:54You didn't go for the ball.
02:54You went for his legs. I saw you.
02:56No, you didn't.
02:56None of us did.
02:57You were too busy mouthing off at the ref.
02:59But we need to call an ambulance.
03:00I'll do it.
03:04You better not do this on purpose.
03:06I told you it was an accident.
03:08Well, I hope so.
03:09I really do.
03:10That's so cool.
03:10No, no.
03:11I'm ready.
03:11We're here to call it.
03:11I'm glad you're ready, man.
03:12You can see what you are.
03:12I'm glad you're getting ready.
03:12I've got to get back.
03:12I'm not because I'm ready.
03:12You can get back.
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