00:00I was raised by two narcissistic parents. In terms of my childhood, the only memories that
00:06I remember, they're all negative. When I was probably about eight years old, that's when I
00:10started to realise that I know that my mum doesn't love me and my dad doesn't have any sort of
00:16care
00:16for me. And to give a bit of context as well, my mum, I would say she was the main
00:21narcissist and
00:22my dad, he just enabled her behaviour. So he blindly followed anything she did, whether it
00:27was wrong, he would back her up all the time. So I never had a safe parent to go to.
00:32So
00:32all these feelings of feeling isolated, feeling alone, feeling not good enough, and not wanted
00:38or cared for, that all stemmed from the way that my parents treated me and they were very
00:42neglectful when I was growing up. My mum would be very verbally to me and say that I'm an
00:48idiot, saying that she doesn't care for me and that I need to basically get out of her
00:52sight because she's got better things to do. There were a lot of times where I felt like
00:55I didn't want to live. And I thought about ending my life quite a few times actually,
00:59because I thought, well, all we ever get at home is arguments. I'm literally being used
01:04as a punching bag. Nobody is looking after me, nobody's protecting me. So I don't belong
01:08in this family. Like I had those thoughts from quite a young age when I was a teenager.
01:12So this is why this is quite complicated because physically we didn't have, it wasn't things
01:18like that. It was more emotional, psychological. So if I was in school, it's not like a teacher
01:23would say, oh, I can see that they've been hit. We're going to help them. It'd be everything
01:27I would have to keep hidden within myself.
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